Chuck Norris Was Just Here - Gawker Comments

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 14:10:05 EDT

@b4nt4: Chuck Norris is fond of blowing out his own candles.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

b4nt4 — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:47:23 EDT

Today is Chuck Norris's birthday. I know this because it is also MY birthday.

b4nt4

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

Sigerson — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:44:00 EDT

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer; but Chuck Norris never cries.

Sigerson

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

Smackdown — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:36:09 EDT

@luciluce666: I don't think you get it.

Smackdown

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:33:56 EDT

Chuck Norris diverged in the wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and ended up fighting Bruce Lee.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

luciluce666 — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:33:45 EDT

Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

luciluce666

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

luciluce666 — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:32:55 EDT

Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

luciluce666

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

luciluce666 — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:31:53 EDT

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.

luciluce666

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

luciluce666 — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:29:20 EDT

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

luciluce666

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

CreativeUnderclass — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:24:31 EDT

Chuck Norris needs an execution.

CreativeUnderclass

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:16:36 EDT

Someone sticky this. Now.

mitchel_stevens

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:00:03 EDT

Chuck Norris is a pterodactyl product and long ago was a flying petroleum.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:59:22 EDT

Chuck Norris lives in the ionosphere and likes seeing flaming bits of space debris hurtling back to Earth.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:58:49 EDT

Chuck Norris has unlimited anytime minutes.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:57:17 EDT

Chuck Norris split his stock and is now worth $200 million.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:56:48 EDT

Chuck Norris puts on ice skates to go down the freeway.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:56:01 EDT

@BadUncle: Chuck Norris is a beat poet s n a pp i n g
along and
power down!
power down
power
down
theworldisnotgreatbuti'lltakeitasitis
off to the gumbo

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:54:34 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: Both.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

BadUncle — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:49:39 EDT

@In Other News...: (snaping fingers) go cat, go.

BadUncle

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:47:50 EDT

Chuck Norris is hungry. Can he have some of your bologna sandwich?

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:45:53 EDT

Chuck Norris once asked "Aren't Almond Joys and Mounds essentially the same thing?" and punched the first guy who answered "No!" and explained that it was a rhetorical question.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:44:38 EDT

Chuck Norris doesn't slip on peds when trying on shoes at PayLess.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:43:18 EDT

Chuck Norris applies for jobs with podcasts and fills out subsequent paperwork with vanilla ice cream.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:42:42 EDT

@Bos'un's Mate: Fair enough. "Chuck Norris! Schistenfenster!"

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:42:10 EDT

Chuck Norris is fertile soil in which to grow maize.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

Bos'un's Mate — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:41:57 EDT

@In Other News...: Bullshit. Chuck Norris does nothing inadvertently. That 'pop' was for you.

Bos'un's Mate

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:41:49 EDT

Chuck Norris melts the polar ice caps so he can have something to drink.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:41:26 EDT

Chuck Norris is a Gregorian sea shanty.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:40:57 EDT

Chuck Norris is the sidewalk he tripped on and is suing himself for two million dollars.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:40:29 EDT

Chuck Norris is the next Michael Moore documentary. They will have a hard time showing him in theaters because they don't have projectors that can yet play humans.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:39:44 EDT

Chuck Norris plays Oboe Hero on his Wii.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:39:04 EDT

Chuck Norris keeps your zeppellin in the air.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:38:47 EDT

Chuck Norris is a wispy cirrus cloud.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:38:27 EDT

Chuck Norris thinks his life story would be a great sequel to the Bible.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:38:08 EDT

Chuck Norris hates Bwog.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:37:51 EDT

Chuck Norris is tied himself around the old oak tree.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:37:09 EDT

Chuck Norris is tunneling through bedrock, sewer systems be damned!

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:36:30 EDT

@mitchel_stevens: Chuck Norris thinks a Dyson Sphere would be perfect for a game of squash.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:35:23 EDT

"Chuck Norris has landed on the moon on this July 20th, 1969."

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:35:06 EDT

@In Other News...:
Chuck Norris is a walking dyson sphere.

mitchel_stevens

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:33:49 EDT

Chuck Norris is crawling around your ductwork, making the aluminum go "pop!" inadvertently.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

FracturedAcetabulum — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:33:34 EDT

@ILovePuppies: hi!

FracturedAcetabulum

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:32:51 EDT

Chuck Norris wants to know where his pen is.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:32:29 EDT

Chuck Norris is the Oort Cloud, producing massive asteroids.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:32:06 EDT

Chuck Norris says flat-panel monitors are nice, but CRT monitors are better for taking out the enemy.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:31:36 EDT

@ILovePuppies: Chuck Norris is IndianSlipper.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:31:05 EDT

Chuck Norris says Colombia, Venezuela and Ecuador should cut it out - and they listened.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

Sargasm — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:30:33 EDT

Chuck Norris wants to know what IndianSlipper thinks of all this.

Sargasm

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:29:57 EDT

Chuck Norris says "Mitt Who?"

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:29:38 EDT

Chuck Norris says geographically speaking, he is the Kamchatka Peninsula.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:29:08 EDT

Chuck Norris will pick up your tab, but only in Euros.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:28:17 EDT

Chuck Norris says he didn't get a receipt for the Gadsden Purchase, and will thus not cross the Maginot Line.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

FracturedAcetabulum — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:27:58 EDT

Chuck Norris wants to know what Atipofthehat thinks of all of this.

FracturedAcetabulum

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:27:02 EDT

Chuck Norris is like magma oozing through the crack in your retaining wall.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

SarahHeartburn — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:26:48 EDT

@In Other News...: It's early to be drinking, or did you not get to bed yet?

SarahHeartburn

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:26:40 EDT

Chuck Norris is the Fifth Element, the Sixth Sense, and Ocean's 11 through 13.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:26:03 EDT

Chuck Norris sells his lemonade for $.50, going against the conventional wisdom.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:25:40 EDT

Chuck Norris invented hydrogen but takes absolutely no credit for boron.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:25:06 EDT

Chuck Norris is the gift, the gift wrap, the bow and the birthday card.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:24:42 EDT

Chuck Norris runs with safety scissors.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:24:23 EDT

Chuck Norris discovered Atlantis, and sank it before they could accurately map it out.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:24:06 EDT

@In Other News...:
...do you have a list or something you've been hording?

mitchel_stevens

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:23:43 EDT

Chuck Norris's milk doesn't curdle.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:22:47 EDT

Chuck Norris is the left-hand line of the double-yellow line.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:22:24 EDT

Chuck Norris says that last one should have read atoll.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:21:58 EDT

Chuck Norris is a toll in the South Pacific and don't you dare test your H-bomb on him.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:21:25 EDT

Chuck Norris constructs his bookcases with pressurized lumber and melanine shelves.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:20:39 EDT

Chuck Norris is a Daughter of the American Revolution.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:20:15 EDT

Chuck Norris thinks superstring theory should be called silly superstring theory.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:19:45 EDT

Chuck Norris likes the #6 Value Meal.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:19:19 EDT

Chuck Norris is all up in your grill.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:19:02 EDT

Chuck Norris degausses his old home videos to make sure the Viet Cong propaganda machine doesn't get their hands on them.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:18:09 EDT

Chuck Norris will pen a fake autobiography about running with the Crips in Omaha, Nebraska under the pen name "C Battery."

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:16:50 EDT

What Chuck Norris really wants to do is direct.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:16:19 EDT

Chuck Norris is two times the man, so he plays Connect Eight.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:15:53 EDT

Chuck Norris will fix the subprime mortgage crisis with the change in his pants pocket.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:15:14 EDT

Chuck Norris writes a gossip column for Lesotho's number two daily newspaper.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:14:42 EDT

Chuck Norris edits small community weeklies.

In Other News...

Chuck Norris Was Just Here

In Other News... — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:14:24 EDT

Chuck Norris comments on Gawker.

In Other News...