<![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> It's OK. My self-esteem is already so low that a Gawker execution won't even phase my 11am-3pm EDT self-loathing me time.

Thanks for the memories!

McCheeburger

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: I did it but forgot to tell you - I was running late for dinner. Gawker will eventually get me uninvited to almost everything. Right now I am supposed to be watching sap run at a party.

I am not making that up.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Hamud: Thanks! Coming from you - that's a real compliment. You're new but very, very clever.

Especially is recognizing my talent!

Actually, I thought it sounded very SATC or a Morrissey lyric. THAT's something I never thought I would say.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @htotheomo:

Actually, "Between stars and men, I'm not sure which makes me more desperate" is an excellent sentence.

It'd be a great opening line for a poem.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: Consider yourself befriended.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: No one is asking you to. We're just asking that you return my personal effects in working, unstained order.
@lululemming: Done.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I hardly ever comment and when I do I am never funny, wise or sexy. So if there is a quota to be reached, take me. One last request, please don't take Spiegelman.

UnstableMabel

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @FitnessMadeSimple: The trick is to serpentine a bit, just enough so they think you're doing something.

Malarcus

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I saw all the stars on the post and took like 5 Wellbutrin. I know how Heath was feeling.

drugman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @the supergoddess: I've never derailed...or yelled....or used exclamation points alot. Maybe I should start. *shrug* But then I'd be acting like a gave a shit.

I do want a star though.

Oface

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @collegecallgirl: Me too. Who wants a fucking star after all? Stars SUCK!

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Colonel Mustard: seriously? forreal? i have a star tattooed there too -- it is in fact the exact star of the sneech, but i didn't figure that out until after the drugs wore off.

minou

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @lululemming: When I look at my profile it says I have no friends. :(

But I just friended you.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: did too. months ago. I can't unfriend you to friend you. This is getting silly. Which I'm guessing was the point. Curse you, Richard Lolson!

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @lululemming: Added who? You didn't add me!

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @htotheomo: There you go, friendo.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @concerned citizen: I can't change the way I am.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> but I already added you! I am not Schindler! Concerned Citizen, make with the payin' it forward!

(sorry, I am home sick today with nothing better to do)

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: I'll friend you if you friend me.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> did it work? Or was it just coincidence? Ahhhhhh!!! This is harder than Cluedo.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman:

I saw that. I am plotting my comeback. Just as soon as this damn thing writes itself.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @lululemming: Star me up!

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @lululemming: Why thank you!
@Conbon: And that is the last time. It came back stained, again.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @htotheomo: Hi! Star? Please?

Between stars and men, I'm not sure which make me sound more desperate.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Yeah this star business can get one down. And I just made a breakthrough in therapy w/ regard to my affliction of being an unpopular teen.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @lululemming: You can't post a picture of yourself, crazy! Then they'll find you!

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @concerned citizen: I added you as a friend to see if that would star you.

Speigz, I thought it maybe denoted past gold stars, but then I remembered your "Laurel Touby: what a head for a pike!" and my theory fell apart.

I am so upset by this intentional arousal of fear and suspicion that I am going to take a picture of myself writing a letter to my senator and post it on my blog.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: "You mean other than the 30 or so I just wrote 3,000 pages about?" would have been my answer. And, HA.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: You're right. I got mixed up. I never made it to The System, obviously.

Oh, my boss needs me to work now. Sigh.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @concerned citizen: I borowed it without asking. Sorry.

@IHateWhatYouHaveOn: I like you.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: It was great, because he'd just gotten a few too-insidery questions from superfans, and I could tell he was a little uncomfortable because he didn't want to brush them off at all, but clearly most of the other people in the audience had no interest in whatever the questions were (I sure didn't). So I've got my hand up, and I'm doing my best to look friendly and smart and socially adept, and he calls on me, and I say, "Who are the thinkers who've influenced you?"

Which was, like I said, a little more vague and open-ended than he was probably expecting. Which I realized about two seconds after it left my mouth. He said something about Hooke and Leibniz and the other folks from the Baroque Cycle era, and then he quickly moved on.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I've been in this thread all day and I still don't know what the stars mean! Arrrrggghh!

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @roodles: Roodles, hon, I loves yah. I meant to tell you earlier that I would actually read your dissertation.

I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours.

Theda_Bara

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @concerned citizen: ... I deserve good things!

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Where's my star?

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> moff: Can I just say that you have to finish? (The Baroque Cycle, I mean, not anything else). It was great, wonderful, fabulous and how it all ties up in The System of the World-you have to finish!

Okay, I'll stop now.

IHateWhatYouHaveOn

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @ADismalScience: I knew we'd corrupt you sooner or later, dear sir.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @lululemming: Hi Lulu! Well, after terrorizing you for blogging about me your BFF totally abandoned her (our?) blog and won't even tell me how to use it. She is full of mean!

"Whore" means "shark tooth" in Manatee, so I don't know what he's trying to say.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @ADismalScience: Why is there no star in the middle of the delicious Science/Spiegelman sandwich above? This has me worried!!!

Don't get ridda my commenter crushes! My real life ones don't even know my *fake* name.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @ADismalScience: Yes, I think you're onto something here.

It'd be like those video games where little symbols indicate how much "health" — or how many "lives" — you have left before it's "game gver."

Not a bad suggestion. That way, commenters who have transgressed would get a warning before they were killed, and those on thin ice would know when to be careful.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @hypocriteoath: Hmm, I'll need to youtube that and review it for possible similarities. The comparison never came to mind, but I'm not refuting it.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Theda_Bara: noooo! Don't go.

I humbly prostrate myself at the snark shrine of the star commenters offering sound clips of Christian Siriano and NY Post Spitzer covers. And slowly slink away...

roodles

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I'm sure this has been broached a million times in the 454 previous comments, but the stars do or do not denote pending execution? I mean here on Gawker. Not at any other time in history.

Also, hi Ian Speigelman. I stopped blogging about you but you can still look at pictures of my pet manatee on my bff's Tumblr. He is bi-polar too. You can tell because sometimes he goes "MMMWHHHOOOUUUUUUWWWRRRR" and sometimes he sends me text messages saying "you're a whore." Mixed messages or what?

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: I never quit books without finishing them anymore. I just get stubborn about it. Otherwise I would never have gotten to the end of Spook Country.

And I mean books, not whatever the Foers and Eggerses and N+1 droids make. I can quit those at will.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @fiveinchtaint: I haven't. But I only got into science fiction writing a few years ago.

In a different genre, have any of you read any of the Captain Alatriste novels? They're endlessly entertaining.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Plus, give me stars. Daddy want.

ADismalScience

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: I think you're talking about the Barbary Coast, at the beginning of The Confusion. Although he also washes up onshore of India, California, Mexico, and Qwghlm at various points. But he's in London for the entirety of The System of the World. (Not a spoiler). And how else are you supposed to cure raging Syphilis in the 17th century?

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> OH OH OH

What if we all started with, like 3 stars, and they refresh every week, and if you lose all your stars you get executed?

ADismalScience

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Itsjustcatnip: But some of them make you want to keep reading. I think it's safe to go through a few of his early novels, though it will definitely make you grim company.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @fiveinchtaint: I haven't but it seems that if you like it, you will also like the Baroque Cycle. Newton and Leibniz are main characters, and Boyle, Hooke, Locke, Wren, Leibniz, Huygens, and several European monarchs feature prominently. But it also has pirates, concubines, alchemy, and a dark sorceror/Catholic priest.

@Itsjustcatnip: OK, thanks for the suggestion.

@moff: Hmm I didn't know about that. Yay. What was the question, what was his answer?

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: yes we are. and in the simply irresistible video they looked the same. to me.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: I'm pretty sure I gave up when Jack Shaftoe washed up onshore in Turkey or something. I have to admit, it was really hard, no pun intended, for me to deal with a character with cauterized genitals, for some reason.

@fiveinchtaint: The name sounds familiar, but I've never read him. On a related note, I'm embarrassed by how many books I've made it three-quarters of the way through and put down in the past few years. Either my taste or the state of letters has gotten worse, or I've gotten a lot lazier (which is more likely).

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> NERDS

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Ok, I've finished creating the image Gawker should use to mark someone as a shitty commenter (I accidentally posted this in a different thread, so apologies if you've already seen it):

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @hypocriteoath: Now you're confusing me. Are we talking about Michael J. Fox's 'Alex P. Keaton'- avid fan of Reaganomics & Wall Street Week?

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Well, the first friend I introduced Snow Crash to is in agreement with you on the Baroque Cycle, so I may have to revisit it again at a later date. In the meantime, the one scheduled for this year sounds pretty good.

I went to a reading of Neal's at a B&N and asked him something so vague that it was just stupid during the Q&A afterward, but he was really polite about it.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Just don't read several Vacch's in a row. They're fun but they get a little formulaic.
Stevenson is great though. Like Moff, I had to take a break from the System of the World, but at some point I'll pick it up again.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: They say he died of a heart attack but that dude was doing a lot of coke backstage the one time I saw him live.

Sargasm

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: @Conbon: @Ian Spiegelman: Have you guys ever read any Tim Powers? Someone recommended The Anubis Gates and I could only make it about 3/4 of the way through. If you know it, do I bother finishing it?

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @scroll_lock: I didn't go to Cotillions! You never take me out of the states! You're embarrassed of me aren't you? Now *sniff* my mascara is running.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> What'd I miss?

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: Also, Daniel takes 2,000 pages to get back to London and you give up when he's in Cornwall? FAIL.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: also the fact that he looked like Alex Keaton was more than just a little amusing.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: I finished System of the World and felt unfulfilled by its brevity. Seriously. There's rumors of another trilogy, same universe, set in the future. But the guy is such a damn recluse that I can't find any definitive answer.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @hypocriteoath: You are correct, Sir.

RIP Palmer- you were swell!

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: didn't Palmer also do one? yeah, he did and it was awesome.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Wow. I never would have gotten to it if I'd done it in that order. The Baroque Cycle got way too convoluted for my tiny brain to keep up with, so I gave up a chapter into The System of the World, but I don't blame Neal. Also, you are exactly right about Snow Crash and Diamond Age in terms of excellence (although I think the mass-market edition of the former is well over 400 pages).

All that said, I am going to see William Gass at a bookstore this evening, and if I get a chance, I will tell him how you think this young upstart Stephenson is so great and all.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon:
I will unhinge it. I have been burying myself in film theory and criticism for the last few months. And patiently waiting for Scott Pilgrim.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: You and your cheap Daisy fetish again! After I spent all that money sending you to finishing school and cotillions.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Okay, I'll kick the pile of kids out of the sci-fi section at B&N and pick up one of the two shorter ones you mentioned.

Thanks for the direction.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: Yes, although I read it after the Baroque Cycle. Which was not ideal, I suppose.

@mitchel_stevens: It is so fucking cool.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @ILovePuppies: @Conbon: Yeh. It references a little tune I like called 'sneaking through the alley with sally' and I know Ringo does a version of it (hence the avatar featuring him being played by Mr. Jason Schwartzman in that terrible Duey Cox flick.)

Part of my actual name is Lalley (wont tell you first, middle, or last!! & I doubt if anyone cares anyway) and thus, you have my take on the song.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @scroll_lock: I thought it was when I tripped in my Daisy Fuentes stillettos and Daisy Dukes at Story Book Land? I do not make a good plastic loopy thing that kills dolphins in the ocean. Ya know, handles, like a bowling ball has.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @fiveinchtaint: And up your meth intake.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @scroll_lock: Whoaa.

@MisterHippity: I had no idea. Weird.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon:
Quicksilver is another tome I live in fear of. Mainly because if I pull it out, my other shelves will lose their support. (one day, i intend to.)

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: Cool, I'll check it out.

Italics directions

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: great minds.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Are you including Cryptonomicon in the foursome?

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @PandoraSpocks: Leader of the Pack is the best of the genre.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @PandoraSpocks: Does "Leader of the Pack" count?

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @VirusWithShoes: And a dog lover! His web site has a page devoted to cool, giant dogs.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Crimeny. I can barely get through the weekend Times. I need to drink less.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Check out the message at the top of Peeps' profile page:

[gawker.com]

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: Deal. Start with Strega. How do I itals in here?

With Vacchs, it's the ideas as much as the story telling. And it does get pretty brutal. Just a little warning.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I just finished my budget!!! Star, please?

This is the first time I have been online ALL DAY.

I know - lame comment.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: Seconded on the Andrew Vachss thing, Ian. Taught, brilliant, and apparently a fine human being to boot.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @PandoraSpocks: it's always cocktail hour somewhere.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: Snow Crash is relatively short (Definitely under 500, I'm pretty sure under 4). As is The Diamond Age. Both are excellent. But it's the four 900 pagers, taken as a saga, that make me praise him so.

OK trade, I'll read Vacchs, you read Stephenson?

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @MisterHippity: (slippie may or may not already be back. shhhh.)

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: He won't eat lobster. It's not kosher!

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @FracturedAcetabulum:OH MY GOD. There is at least an entire generation on this site that's never heard any of those teen death songs from the late 50's,early 60's, including Tell Laura I Love Her.


+ Watch video

Also, this is nearing 400 posts and its not even cocktail hour.

PandoraSpocks

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @MisterHippity: Well, not as IndianSlipper.

Sargasm

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @MisterHippity: Slipper's actually back.

Sargasm

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @MisterHippity: Pope got executed? I thought he just quit. And I don't think IndianSlipper's cousin wants IS back.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Conbon: That is the first time I've ever even seen his name. But my googling tells me that all his books are like 900 pages long. Anything a bit thinner I could get started with?

And I think Andrew Vacchs is up there on the list of the living.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: I'm just glad the ride operator guy didn't try to pick you up like a six-pack like that dude at Coney Island tried when you tripped in your Candie's slides you were wearing with your Jodie-Foster-in-Taxi-Driver hot pants.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Next, Gawker should ask us to vote for which already-executed commenters we want brought back from the dead.

(To confirm their status as an officially executed commenter — as opposed to somebody who just left voluntarily, like Wookie — that commenter would need to have the message "[commenter's name]'s ability to comment is not enabled" displayed at the top of their profile page.)

My nominees would include Pope John Peeps 2, IndianSlipper and Newtojezebel.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: You are definitely stuck in character, Balky! Somebody's done this before !

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: @mitchel_stevens: I bring him up from time to time here, and rarely get a response, so I'm going whole hog. Neal Stephenson is the best living American novelist.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: @Conbon: Me neither, but it would sound fantastic in doo da singing.
Sneaking through the Alley with Lally, Lally

Sargasm

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @MisterHippity: This is why we love you, please don't put the lil toilet person next to me ok? At least not the stupid one that's actually in it, or hovering over it.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: If you don't get some bidniz soon we'll be forced to have a going out of business sale. Everything must go!

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: See, it's so easy to get along. Let's send that really angry Osama guy a lobster bib to make him happy too. @scroll_lock: I seem to be stuck in character *sigh*

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: It's really unlike anything else I've read by him. It takes place in the real world, in his own time, and the plot doesn't fall to pieces in the third act. With both Dick and Gibson, I try to avoid reading what anyone has to say about them because there's just so much of it and it's all so screamy.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> What gawker needs next is a symbol to mark someone as a shitty commenter.

Maybe the silhouette of a toilet? Or better yet, someone sitting on the toilet, like the image on the right:

And, when you roll your cursor over the symbol, a message should appear saying "[commenter name] is a shitty commenter."

Actually, the picture above would make an awesome commenter avatar, wouldn't it?

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @scroll_lock: Oh, Snugglebump, what would I do without you? My new stick-on nails have airbrushed rainbows that glitter! Should I add the the lil dymond..dimond..? Whatever sparkly round things to look like comets! You'll take me on the helicopter? You know that one scares me. I'm afraid I'll fall off like I fell off the rocking horse-it leans soooo far back! I couldn't help it. The ride operator guy was very kind to me helping me up though. I don't know why he tried to lift me by my boobies though, like that'll work, lol. so what do I wear? some people always look twice when I wear my shorts and heels. can I wear my cut-off jeans and baby tee? or does the white castes have a dress code where you have to wear a dress. where are we going again. oooh, look at my nails, glitter. i'm gonna leave glitter on you. I'm gonna lie down now, I'm getting to excited again. will you put me to bed?

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: I'm really dumb, but I have no idea what your name is in reference to. But it's fun to say. So please keep it.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman:
No--one of those things you always mean to read, hear about get referenced and nod along. I've been so bad with catching up on his stuff, especially after Scanner became cool. I'm sort of questioning my devotion to him, because he is the god of Sci Fi and partially of Beat counter-culture, but sometimes i just get turned off from his style.

@FitnessMadeSimple:
and list away, please.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: Two people in one bib? That is hot and awesome and totally my bag!

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @fiveinchtaint: Duly noted. Thanks for the measure of solidarity, Brother.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @collegecallgirl: Actually, they look a bit like nipple pasties. Which I am sure we both already have anyway.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: The cardboard dress, although flattering to your hourglass figure, tends to ride up when you sit. Don't worry about the rain on your Aquanet, I've spared no expense in purchasing the finest plastic rainbonnet that snaps underneath your chin. Please be certain the Lee Press-On Nails are bejeweled and airbrushed. I'm thinking that a late night visit to Chuck E. Cheese is in order- you can ride in the little helicopter that goes up and down! I have to remember to bring a carton of Newports to tip the Maitre 'd at the Waverly.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Kelly Kreth: No, girl, I'm afraid that sometimes and insult is just an insult. Stay away from me. Stay far, far away. I have lawyers, they're quite good at what they do, and they haven't been fed in weeks.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: nooo, I was hoping to share *wink, wink*
If I don't get some more work soon I can't even say what Scrolly will do to me

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> After getting a 2007 top-tenner, I basically self-executed while I was ahead (like Marilyn Monroe!) at the New Year by changing my username and not commenting for weeks at a time. And yet deep down I'm all "gosh I hope no one picks me." Loser.

Diglett

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: Now I feel bad - I said that, but I truly have nothing against your commentary. In fact, we've had at least one fun back-and-forth that I can't quite recall. Yours was the screen name that came to mind when dismal brought up the length thing. It's just that it barely fits across the bar there. But my opinion means squat. And my avatar/name is certainly nothing special. So forget what I said earlier. High fives.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: You stealing my lobster bib?

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @LolCait: Aw shucks, thanks Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Hmm. I never knew how people felt about the (un?)necessary length of my name. I thought that it and the corresponding avatar were clever. My apologies.

Related, I will be taking suggestions for new name/avatar.

Also, I've got nothing witty or charming to say on my behalf or the current topic so.. if this is my last comment, au revoir!

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @scroll_lock: Tube dress? You want me to wear cardboard? But I'll do anything for you, Pookie. Unless it rains-then boo. You know how messy Aquanet hair gets when wet? What's in Waverly? do I get to wear a plastic lobster bib again? Wait, no, I don't want them to kill the poor lobsters. Snookums, can we go to one of the play places so I can slide? With the new cardboard tube dress on I will fly! I won't bump into any kids this time I promise!
*I'm going to play the part of not too bright hooker with a heart of gold.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @FitnessMadeSimple: Please do. No rich kids from Brooklyn, though. Kay?

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: Let me make things exciting before I sign off for a few minutes by casually mentioning, not for the first time, that I HATE Transmetropolitan.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @collegecallgirl: You so haz a jellus!

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: @Ian Spiegelman:

I'd be happy to recommend some other authors you may or may not have heard of if you'd like. I read constantly. Sadly, most people don't read much at all as far as novels go.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: Have you read VALIS? Nothing at all like Ellis, but it freaked me out for a week last summer. Totally screwed up my mind.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @collegecallgirl: Pfft. They look cheap and Wal-Marty. And we are all class (accent on the "ass").

(I'm KIDDING, Richard! I want one!!)

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: @FitnessMadeSimple: mm. it sort of leads into the argument that Ellis is best suited for the comics medium, but whatever.

that said, i'm sort of jonsing for a similar sci-fi writer.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I think it's cooler NOT to have one of those twinkling thingies.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Itsjustcatnip: Oh, YES, seconded. The signoff alone is worth the axe.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: He is clearly trying out his Mystery Method tips on me.

Kelly Kreth

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Furious George:

Don't make me get all ninja on your ass.

Kelly Kreth

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I am the kid in the corner rocking the dunce cap and smiling. I got out of study time. success.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I GOT A STAR!!!

The Real JR

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Furious George: I have a feeling that neg will be surprisingly effective.

@Hez: That sounds a lot better than the Subway I had for lunch.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Furious George: ignore her, slap me. you know how I like it.

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mathnet:
That would have made he trip so much more worth it! Instead all I got was a bunch of meetings at PPG. And no star to help with all this self-pity.

meerkat

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I nominate chickenjungle. See one of those hooker threads.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @FitnessMadeSimple: I agree. I really like finding out that there are still living writers that I can enjoy.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Henifer Hropes: Dorothy I ain't.

Ummwhat

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman: @mitchel_stevens:

I found Crooked Little Vein very entertaining. The writing is not particularly good on a technical level, but it was a good read...as disturbing as the Godzilla Bukkake was.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Hez: Just that makes you a 9 in hot or not.

Henifer Hropes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ummwhat: Didn't work, did it?

Henifer Hropes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @meerkat: You didn't call me??

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @scroll_lock: You're a scholar and a gentleman.
@moff: Too late! You fell right into my diabolical scheme.

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Kelly Kreth: Lord help me, child, I'm having great difficulty keeping my pimp hand from bitch slapping you right now.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @BalknChain: But I keep you in jewels n' finery so you're happy and keep your seven-diamond rating. Get your tube dress on- tonight I'm takin' you to the Waverly Inn!

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: Well, the crushing stuff in heels is old school. Funny when it's done to trains and toys. Icky as fuck when it's bugs.

I think the lizard people are a hoax.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> If I close my eyes, click my heels together three times and say,

"There's no place like Gawker.
There's no place like Gawker.
There's no place like Gawker."

Will I get a star?

Ummwhat

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: how I adore you@scroll_lock: You're a tough pimp.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman:
women in heels crushing train sets [www.boingboing.com]
[sfw]

as for the Macroherpetophiliacs, they are real--or so the Internet claims.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Tammany_Fall: I'm pretty sure spitzer was the only thing that happened this week.

oh, but wait! there's this: ronn [sic] is a jerk, doo da doo da
and ham will put him out of work, oh dee doo da day!

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: Not yet, but I'm heading to the bong in 26 minutes.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: I honestly thought he was making that stuff up. I've seen and done a lot of weird, weird things, but I absolutely don't believe that there really are people who get off sexually by watching Godzilla.

Call me a starry-eyed optimist, but I do not accept the possibility of an ironic orgasm.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Jeez... I come back from 3 days in goddamn Pittsburgh, and everyone here is having a star party. Can I play too?

meerkat

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @marshall47: Good call.

Also, I bet dodgeball sucked back in the day when they still used rocks as balls.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @The Real JR: What? The time you made it into Kreepie Kats wasn't enough?

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: Maybe something just fell on her head. Like in the cartoons.

Tammany_Fall

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Hez: What stars? You're high.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Does not having a star = execution? I hope not. I don't want to die!

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @the supergoddess: I'd keep playing, but I had a shitty week at work so I don't know what else happened. Although my favorite Yahoo headline was

"Shark is re-introduced to larger shark that tried to eat it."

Tammany_Fall

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mathnet: I RESCIND MY PREVIOUS NOMINATION OF MATHNET.

@GeorgeBabbitt: Will I ruin by replying to say thank you?

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I want a star. I've been here since the baby kicking. I even have a pic with me and Tionna and Julia and our boobs. What does a sister have to do to get starred?

The Real JR

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @hypocriteoath: Fair enough.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I just woke up. What's going on here? I feel cold and alone... and why is everyone wearing stars?

Also, I think you should execute NoLimitDomains for being a commentbot... and for having the worst profile quote ever.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman:
eh--poor wording on my part. as he wrote the book, he'd take the little things that he found and put them on his blog. sort of a "hey, here's what i'm researching" thing. (i think he had been working on it for...oh...three years? four years?)

it was cool to follow and try to understand how Vein would wind up. but I just found it to be this weird rehash. I still enjoyed it a lot, but it felt like I was re-reading an old book.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SoftBeadySuedeShoes: Throw them into conversation, or toss them with mini-marshmallows and wasabi peas for an easy, festive salad!

Tammany_Fall

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @LolCait: Icanhazstartoo?

Dang, I missed this whole thread. I nominate... I nominate...

Henifer Hropes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SoftBeadySuedeShoes: I guess so. I guess so, Indi--whoops--suede shoes

FracturedAcetabulum

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Anyone guilty of misplacing apostrophes needs the ax. And I agree with Babbitt on those who ignore replies to comments, running roughshod over the feelings of those sensitive souls who reached out to connect and commiserate. Also, anyone with yellow teeth.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @mitchel_stevens: I don't get it. If his fans already read the whole thing online, why did they buy the book? And why on earth would someone write a book online?

What really made me cringe was his acknowledgments page. And the Joss Whedon blurb. I'd kill Joss Whedon for a Joss Whedon blurb.

Ian Spiegelman

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @FracturedAcetabulum: Are you saying death becomes me?

SoftBeadySuedeShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Tammany_Fall: that kristen hooker has great tits, doo da doo da
and now her record's a big hit oh dee doo da day

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> I want TWO stars. Nick, can you get on that, pls.?

Kelly Kreth

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> This games scares me/ feeds into my pathology.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Tammany_Fall: That's awesome. I'm going to start throwing an occasional Doo-Dah into my everyday conversation.

SoftBeadySuedeShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Ian Spiegelman:
It was weird to see in print--mainly because I, along with other dorks, am a devoted follower of his blog. So things like the Godzilla Bukkake, saline and the social network/porn hub were rehashed from when he originally posted them.

sort of weird to peek inside the back story of a book when it was still being constructed. the falconer got written up repeatedly on his livejournal.

I did like the humor once it got going, especially with the mix of sci-fi weirdness and formula noir. but the alphabet city discription made me cringe. a lot.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: Well done!

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: you got a star... that pretty much proves the "only the gheighs and slutty chicks get stars" comment, you slutty chick you.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @SoftBeadySuedeShoes: death has softened you up, my friend.

FracturedAcetabulum

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @moff: Molly and whoever rejected our furious friend are dummies and they probably have flat butts.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @the supergoddess:

I think the Weekly Round-up should be entirely doo-dahs.

Spitzer lost his job this week, doo-dah, doo-dah
'Cuz bareback pro-sex he did seek
Oh, dee doo dah dey

Silda cried all night
Bruno laughed all day
Me, I don't care all that much
Since I live in Jer-say.

Tammany_Fall

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Sucks to all of your ass-mars. I'ma go stake me a pig's head.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Hamud: I'm having a difficult time figuring you out. You appear to play a series of "characters" in all of your comments. It's an interesting tack. I'm going to follow you for a couple days, just to see what happens.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> @Furious George: Uh, if you checked out that fake blog thing you would know we are cousins.

But I don't speak of him anymore. We are estranged.

SoftBeadySuedeShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Commenter Executions: Help Us Decide]]> Who does BalknChain have to blow for me to get a star?

scroll_lock

]]>