Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up? - Gawker Comments

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

MartyPants — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 21:34:14 EDT

crap. Now I'm never going to get "This is your Liiiiife!" out of my head.

MartyPants

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

puckrod — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:43:54 EDT

His naivete is entrancing.

puckrod

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

famousauthor — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:13:53 EDT

Fierce. Let me say that again: fierce. Like the little dog who barked at me when I went out to pick up the morning paper. Just fierce. Fierce.

famousauthor

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

ClevelandSteamier — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:11:22 EDT

Totally just a viral for this: [www.youtube.com]

ClevelandSteamier

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

mugczar — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:48:20 EDT

I'm pretty sure this is the new viral marketing campaign for Gay Cloverfield.

mugczar

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

elronrootbeer — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:38:57 EDT

sorry, yalls - i actually know this guy.

FAKE

funny, but fake

elronrootbeer

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

urbanraconteur — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:22:24 EDT

A) Gay. So, so gay.
B) Old. Way to old to have just graduated. More like I'm 27 and I'm SSTTIILLL not famous so what should I do? - I know! I'll do a fake blog.
C) Annoying.

urbanraconteur

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

I'm Waitin' for Dolemite — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:57:09 EDT

well from his youtube profile:

fiyerowhereareyou
Joined: March 11, 2008
Last Login: 6 hours ago
Videos Watched: 50
Subscribers: 32
Channel Views: 1,025
For anyone who loves: Broadway, Patti Lupone, Belting, AKB, The Battery's Down, Andrew Lloyd Weber, Les Miserables, Lea Salonga, Wicked, Elphaba, Guh-linda...lol, Rent, Spring Awakening, Times Square, Fierce people
Name: Craig
Age: 21
Born and raised in Murfreesboro, TN. I went to Tidewater College in VA majoring in dramatic arts. I'm OBSESSED with Broadway!!!!

Dream parts:
-Phantom in Phantom of the Opera(NOT the Yeston version..ew)

-Jean Val Jean in Les Miserables*
-Skimbleshanks in Cats
-Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha
-Billy in Carousel
-Peter Pan in Peter Pan
-One of the brothers in Blood Brothers
-Jimmy in Millie
-Mark or Roger in Rent
-Coalhouse Walker in Ragtime(I know...not black)
-Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid
-Ensemble of Hairspray
-Ensemble of 42nd Street
-Ensemble of Times They Are A Changin

I just moved to NYC...and I'm loving life!

*played this part in the High School version...role of a lifetime!!

Country: United States
Occupation: Unemployed NYC musical theater actor!!!
Companies: soon to be on the great white way
Interests and Hobbies: Youtube, hanging out in Times Square, stretching, waffle house, chik-fil-a, meeting new NYC friends, modern dance, hanging w/ m y girlfriend Janine, using the word fierce
Movies and Shows: Broadway Shows seen: The Pirate Queen, The Little Mermaid, and I saw Legally Blonde on MTV Fav Movies:High School Musical 1&2, Step Up, Lilo and Stitch, Center Stage, Enchated!!!
Music: The new songs on "The Battery's Down", Brittney, Pink, Shakira, BROADWAY BROADWAY BROADWAY!!!!!
Books: I don't really read...does OK! magazine count?? lol, ha ha
Website: [www.broadway.com]

****************

Southern boys with girlfriends have _always_ used "FIERCE" in their vernacular

just read your Faulkner, people

I'm Waitin' for Dolemite

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

parkslump — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:54:37 EDT

The gay southern twang is definitely authentic.

parkslump

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

City_Dater — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:52:51 EDT

@Richard: But even an idiot knows his friends have Google in Mufreesbro, right?

@northerner: So far on my block they tend toward older couples who smile politely though I can tell they are thinking, "Hmmm...Chloe sunglasses from three seasons ago." I haven't seen any of this tiny, singing, semi-closeted variety yet.

City_Dater

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Toomanytomatoes — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:52:42 EDT

Fake or real...he's famous!

Toomanytomatoes

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

GregnATL — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:39:03 EDT

Real? Fake? Who knows??? Gay? DEFINITELY! He may not have realized it yet. I give him 3 months before he's hitting the Cock. The bar, that is...

GregnATL

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

northerner — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:26:07 EDT

There's been an outbreak of gayboys up here in Inwood.

northerner

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

TheOtherJen — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:04:18 EDT

OMG please make them a guest columnist a la Tionna, although no one can even come within an inch of her. If this happens I might start reading Gawker more than once a week now.

TheOtherJen

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

CraneCollapse — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:58:00 EDT

Definitely a fake - viral ad campaign for this shitty idea: [www.thebatterysdown.com]

Each video's tagged with the words "battery's down" for god's sake. Not a hard nut to crack.

CraneCollapse

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

MartyPants — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:16:47 EDT

Fake AND nausea-inducing. Bummer. I would have liked to have been rooting for those crazy kids.

MartyPants

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

famousauthor — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:07:04 EDT

New York really needs two more annoying people talking constantly and recording it for the world.

famousauthor

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Ed — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:58:45 EDT

The posters are all just too strategically placed (and self-consciously poorly at that) for me to think he's not putting us on.

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Code6Charles — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:35:52 EDT

Pirate Queen indeed.

Code6Charles

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

nunudigg — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:33:51 EDT

This is totally, totally real. im not going to say how i know, but i am all to familiar with the case of the southern theatre geek with his "janine" and thinks Craig is "fun & silly and not like other guys."

I send them the best of luck. Especially because he's going to need it when his audition repertoire includes female musical numbers and his theatre program probably consisted of doing scenes from "Steel Magnolias."

And I wish it weren't so, but there's also that big hurdle that involves Janine finding out selling Mermaid merch makes you incredibly bitter coupled with the fact that Craig is spending an awful lot of time with Steve at "Therapy."

nunudigg

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

SheLaughs — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:27:22 EDT

Unwatchable with the shaky camera.

SheLaughs

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Toomanytomatoes — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:40:20 EDT

Most of us are laughing because we were there once...

Toomanytomatoes

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Nesbiteme — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:35:49 EDT

If you graduated from "Tide Water COMMUNITY College" how much would you need to save to live in the Inwood section of New York City? At least enough for $800 to $1,200 a month for rent, plus background checks, key fees for the super, etc. What kind of job could you get in the Portsmouth or Virginia Beach VA area that would allow you to save enough money for such an adventure? Chiropractor, crack whore, village idiot, fake resident with some kind of corporate backing perhaps. Oh wait just one minute, perhaps Michael Eisner, yes I smell Michael Eisner.

Nesbiteme

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

KarenUhOh — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:33:09 EDT

After spending thirty seconds and one and a half Dolly Madison Donuts on this, I have a metaphysical inquiry: what difference does it make?

KarenUhOh

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

BadUncle — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:25:42 EDT

They're too adorable for Gawker. Maybe Cute-Overload needs to fill a hole.

Expect to see Craig on one of those "ironic" child-role-played-by-adults kind of off broadway shows, like Home Alone - The Musical.

BadUncle

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

prattler — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:23:42 EDT

This is obviously fake. White kids are silly as fuck.

And, Janine seems, uh... yummy.

prattler

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

KarenUhOh — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:15:30 EDT

That's not Craig Stevens. Inger, maybe.

KarenUhOh

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

serendipitynow — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:13:29 EDT

There is a Law and Order episode almost EXACTLY like this kid's life: Aspiring wannabe-Broadway boy comes from Tennessee with girlfriend and goes to auditions. Except in L&O, Chris Noth and Jerry Orbach are investigating the kid's death, when it turns out he's killed by a john (turns out being a Broadway star was more difficult than expected and he had to pay the bills).

Obviously, this is a case of life imitating art and not the other way around.

serendipitynow

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

debord at work — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:01:38 EDT

janine's so cute, acting or otherwise!

debord at work

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Tenno — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:55:12 EDT

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Sashay!

Oh please. If any more gay was present my monitor would shoot rainbows and be called Tucker.

Tenno

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

BenderingTime — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:52:07 EDT

The shaky camera is making me nauseous.
And that voice! It has the unmistakable cadence of a gay... a gaydence if you will.

BenderingTime

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Richard — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:43:38 EDT

@hypocriteoath: Not really true of casting, actually.

Richard

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

LeGagneur — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:42:35 EDT

I was going to suggest that you take this one as The Gays, but I guess you already did that.

LeGagneur

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

lele — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:40:38 EDT

@Calitri: you found me out. i do know too much...

lele

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

hypocriteoath — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:40:34 EDT

simba may portray a person of color but I don't think that theaters are expressly allowed to discriminate like that... seems to violate EVERY fairness statute that exists...

hypocriteoath

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

BOO_BOO_HOFF — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:32:58 EDT

Craig Stevens was Peter Gunn. He's no Craig Stevens.

BOO_BOO_HOFF

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

BK_KT — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:28:28 EDT

Holy S, I just watched those videos, Craig, put the camera on the desk, JEEZ, shaky camera motion-sickness. Too nauseated to finish the Janine vid.

BK_KT

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

I'm Waitin' for Dolemite — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:27:09 EDT

I love him (and her) of course.

Y'all haters ....

I'm Waitin' for Dolemite

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

crooked_teeth — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:24:35 EDT

@Pesquyist: exactly. The poster is the high brow wink-wink in this little bit of performance art.

crooked_teeth

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Calitri — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:24:16 EDT

@lele: To know so much about such a place - no good can come of it. I pity you. Just promise me you won't, you know, do anything crazy. Life's too precious.

@Nic Fit: On the whole, I'm not sure i believe it, but that little tidbit is truth beyond suspicion. 100% certifiable, grade A fact right there, my friend.

Calitri

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Videodrew — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:23:31 EDT

Is he channeling Kenneth?

Videodrew

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Pesquyist — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:21:58 EDT

The Pirate Queen poster is a dead giveaway.

Pesquyist

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Richard — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:20:47 EDT

@City_Dater: Exactly. But! That detail could be either: A) Evidence that it's complete chicanery, or B) Evidence that he's just lying to the people from home who want to hear about big Broadway auditions.

Richard

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Patrick_Bateman — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:20:33 EDT

verdict: Gay

Patrick_Bateman

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

kathotdog — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:20:30 EDT

There are no gay men in Murfreesboro - only men who like to get together watch musicals and have sex.

kathotdog

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Nic Fit — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:20:09 EDT

I want to believe.

Nic Fit

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

shanghaibaby — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:19:34 EDT

Janine is like a poor, thin, dumb, white Star Jones.

He's totes cute. like a gay Patrick Moberg. (btw, wotever happened there?)

shanghaibaby

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

BK_KT — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:18:45 EDT

Inwood to Coney Island? That's like a 3 hour trek! Long distance relationship in the same city, only in New York, kids.

BK_KT

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

City_Dater — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:15:13 EDT

While there are real people this clueless cluttering the industry, I think he's a fake. C'mon, a young musical theatre sissy (complete with "girlfriend" ripe for conversion to hag) who doesn't know that Simba is played by an actor of color? How is that even possible?

City_Dater

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Nic Fit — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:13:39 EDT

Wow, Brooklyn is a borough and Coney Island is "like a beach". You learn something every day.

Nic Fit

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Kakapo — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:13:28 EDT

This totally reminds me of a friend's "straight" musical-theater-obsessed cousin, who came visiting from somewhere tiny in the Midwest. If I linked his blog, you guys would be absolutely certain it was some sort of hoax. Rest assured this type certainly exists....

Kakapo

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

SeaBassTian — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:11:18 EDT

Making fun of this young rube is like shooting fish in a bucket. I love the part when he rolls his eyes and tells us he has learned SO MUCH in the past two weeks. Call me in a month when you are a bitter and jaded queen chatting up old men at The Townhouse!

SeaBassTian

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Koreanish — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:10:15 EDT

And now they're Gawkstars.

Koreanish

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

crooked_teeth — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:09:23 EDT

Smacks of Edward Norton and the nice guy routine before the revelation of his demonic alter-ego's. Can't wait til' he discovers The List of Craig and how neat it is that his name is also Craig.

crooked_teeth

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

lele — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:08:22 EDT

um real. murfreesboro is totally full of rubes. its a really small, insular town about 35 minutes from nashville. the second biggest college in the state is there. their mascot is the blue raider, which is a klan ref. the town also hosts the world's largest wooden bucket.

huzzah!

lele

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Toomanytomatoes — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:08:13 EDT

He also kind of reminds me of the Japanese girl that filmed herself eating french bread pizza on Youtube.

Toomanytomatoes

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Ed — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:06:54 EDT

I had to duck the flames coming out of my computer.

I love cute little gay boys though.

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Toomanytomatoes — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:06:51 EDT

I totally want to steal Janine from Craig. She's adorable.

Toomanytomatoes

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Helman — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:05:19 EDT

Um. There is no way, no how, that guy is straight. Janine is obviously his sister.

Nice tags, btw.

Helman

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Lonesome_George — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:04:06 EDT

He is the dumbest person that I've seen today so far.

Lonesome_George

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

BettyCrocker — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:01:04 EDT

Can we export him back to Murfreesboro?

BettyCrocker

Is Craig Stevens the Most Clueless Boy in New York, Or Just Made Up?

Buzz Killington — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:00:11 EDT

FAKE!!11!

Buzz Killington