Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian? - Gawker Comments

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

duster101 — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 18:33:20 EDT

A lesbian friend of mine was at a New Year's party in Sydney a few years ago (before the Cruise/Kidman marriage broke up), and she said she witnessed Nicole snogging a lady friend. A lot. So that proves it!...Possibly.

duster101

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

altachica — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:34:33 EDT

jessica biel presented at the awards last year..she was noticed sure...but she ain't neva gonna go back...unless they make texas chainsaw massacre 2 of course.

altachica

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Fuzzy_duffel_bag — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:32:42 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Speaking as someone who was not visibly pregnant until about six months along, trust me, she's really pregnant.

Fuzzy_duffel_bag

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Maya Twocents — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:53:21 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Hey, that was, like, a whole episode of Dirt, I think! Chick stole "pregnancy pads" from the costume shop. I did read a couple of the blurbs doubting Nic, 'cause her belly was too flat, and her response was that "people gain weight differently." Haven't seen any recent pics, though.

Of course, by Hollywood standards, I've looked pregnant for years, so what do I know?

I'm guessing Bea Arthur is the father.

Maya Twocents

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:59:53 EDT

Charlotte Rae

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:54:19 EDT

@Maya Twocents: For sure. And there are still rumours that she's not even pregnant, that they hired a surrogate and she is faking the pregnancy. Started by the paps who follow her, apparently, and don't believe she's with child.

I saw a picture of her the other day, however, and she looked pregnant to me. She had popped out.

Trixie from Toronto

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Truculent — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:45:03 EDT

Miss Hathaway from the Beverly Hillbillies

Truculent

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Fuzzy_duffel_bag — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:25:47 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Ha! I'll save you the trip: Just Nicole.

Fuzzy_duffel_bag

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Cthulhah Bankhead — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:24:20 EDT

Kidman, from the name alone.

Cthulhah Bankhead

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Maya Twocents — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:21:03 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Nic could have just busted out the equal opportunity turkey baster, no?

Maya Twocents

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:20:20 EDT

@Fuzzy_duffel_bag: Jinx!

Trixie from Toronto

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:20:03 EDT

@Hez: And I am sad that I know this, but rumour has it he also usually mentions the identity of his blind item in another portion of his largely indecipherable column. So of course now I must go and see if Nicole, Salma or Penelope are mentioned.

Trixie from Toronto

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Fuzzy_duffel_bag — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:18:02 EDT

Also bear in mind that the blind item is always someone he's referred to in that week's column. So unless it's Tori Spelling (who has no oscar nods to my knowledge,) it's Nic. Which explains so much, really.

Fuzzy_duffel_bag

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:16:54 EDT

@altachica: Did I miss Jessica Biel's Academy Award notice?

Trixie from Toronto

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Hez — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:04:25 EDT

Richard, to get the full effect of these, you really have to post Ted's "And It Ain't"s, because there is always a clue to be found in the connection between the three people he rules out.

The "And It Ain'ts" for this one are Renee Zellwegger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Tilda Swinton. The connection? All past Oscar winners, and ALL have worked with George Clooney... and so has Nicole Kidman, so by process of elimination, it's her.

Hez

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

BaconCat — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:56:50 EDT

@roodles: Penelope cruz looks like she has enchephalitis. I have never gotten her.

Now Salma, well, mami, that is a different animal altogether.

BaconCat

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

NeonSkye — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:51:43 EDT

Kiera Knightley? The bones, the Shakespeare reference and an Academy nom.

NeonSkye

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

roodles — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:35:03 EDT

if it is P. Cruz than she's guilty of the biggest waste of a fine-looking man since ...Ever. Unless she's cheating on him with Salma Hayak which is a pretty even trade. Not to mention really hot.

roodles

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

dawngawk — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:33:07 EDT

@PandoraSpocks:
Cruiz is my guess also.

dawngawk

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

surreal — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:23:48 EDT

I wasn't convinced on the Nicole Kidman thing until I verified the definition of "heady." Now the whole item just seems recklessly transparent.

surreal

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

foolinthepool — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:21:58 EDT

@Goober_Pea: Bet you're right on Salma Hayek. But leave Abigail Breslin out of it: she's a kid, for goodness sake...

foolinthepool

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

BK_KT — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:04:42 EDT

@ILovePuppies: @VoxPopuli: Dammit all to hell. I'm emotionally divorced from this blind item now.

BK_KT

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

hhpeterson13 — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:04:35 EDT

Penelope Cruz. She was together with T. Cruise, M. McConaghey, and is now w/Javier Bardem. I can see him blowing the lid off that shit and then using that pneumatic cow-killing thing on it.

hhpeterson13

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

BaconCat — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:01:49 EDT

It's Talulah Bankhead, people! She's sleeping with Hattie McDainel while young up-aond-comer boyfriend Erroll Flynn hangs out with the jazz boys and hop-heads and bangs any pretty ingenue in a skirt.

But he's going to be box office Boffo, I tell ya! BOFFO!

BaconCat

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

beccalou — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:56:50 EDT

Nicole Kidman! RED CARPET? Whee!

beccalou

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Krista — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:38:57 EDT

@PandoraSpocks:
I'm with you on Penelope Cruz. Haven't there been many rumors about her to that effect? (Salma, etc.)

Krista

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

VoxPopuli — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:24:50 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Oh come now, it has to be sassy Rue McClanahan - all those one-night stands as her cover?

@ILovePuppies: @BK_KT: Aww, I liked the Renee theory. You know, if it weren't for the reference to talent and whatnot, I'd say Lindsay. She and Sam Ronson are traveling buddies again, I see.

VoxPopuli

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Goober_Pea — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:22:20 EDT

I'm going to go with Salma Hayek. Sure she did just pop out a little taquito, but the Browhilda haaaaas to be a nod to Freida and her working the uni.

Or Abigail Breslin.

Goober_Pea

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

MadameDecline — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:17:03 EDT

Chris Crocker.

MadameDecline

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:14:13 EDT

@VoxPopuli: Nicole Kidman is my guess but the pregnancy complicates it.

Therefore, I say Bea Arthur.

Trixie from Toronto

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

MadameDecline — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:12:09 EDT

It's probably Sharon Stone, which in that case gets filed under "who gives a crap."

MadameDecline

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Sargasm — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:10:56 EDT

@BK_KT: While I weep scalding shameful tears to admit this, The Awful Truth website said it ain't Renee.

Sargasm

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

MadameDecline — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:10:08 EDT

Michael Stipe.

MadameDecline

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

fishwife — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:01:39 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Javier Bardem is NOBODY'S handbag.

fishwife

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

bigspike — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:55:36 EDT

Joan Crawford, hands down.

bigspike

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

BK_KT — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:26:05 EDT

@VoxPopuli: We're totally right. Eff this Nicole Kidman theory, she's clearly making sweet alien love with Keith Urban. Besides, Renee had that failed marriage with the country guy and then filed for divorce on the grounds of FRAUD. If that doesn't smack of same-sex lovin, I don't know what does.

BK_KT

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

HeyThatsMyBike — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:25:43 EDT

@maevemealone: I was also thinking her [frozen] eyebrows are a defining feature of hers and he shortens it to "brow" throughout the piece.

Do I overthink blind items? Why, yes!

HeyThatsMyBike

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Maya Twocents — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:21:57 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: I'm embarassed that I know this - but Tilda Swinton is in an already odd relationship with her much older "husband" and a much younger man, all living in BohoMarxist Modern Arrangement together in the same house. There was a whole article about it in some English paper or other (I doubt you care enough for the source! but if you do, let me know and I'll look it up).

I really, really think it's Kidman, although I don't buy P. Cruz as a "straight" woman for hot second.

Maya Twocents

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

maevemealone — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:20:08 EDT

Use of Browhilda does sort of nod towards Kidman, she did remake Bewitched. Since nobody actually saw that movie, it's a rather subverted, yet clear, reference. I think he would have made a reference to marriage though. I'll say Katie Holmes just for kicks.

maevemealone

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

winniemc — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:18:50 EDT

I speak on behalf of the lesbians when I say, Renee does not get chooseys on our team. You straighties can keep her puckerfaced snarksucker.

winniemc

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:11:36 EDT

Hillary Clinton?

TheHonJudgeSmails

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Nard — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:10:31 EDT

Princess Pea. Sorry, girlfriend, but your little fake fling with Whyatt is transparent. I mean, the guy dresses in tights and a cape.

Nard

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

dirtyd — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:09:27 EDT

This is an old recycled story (true nevertheless)...Angelina Jolie is the answer. The names even kinda sound alike.

dirtyd

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

VoxPopuli — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:07:07 EDT

@BK_KT: Oooh - you beat me to it. She just came to mind for me as well. Renee does botox, has gotten an Oscar nom, and does date a lot of guys for not very long. Hmm....

VoxPopuli

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

swizzard — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:06:34 EDT

My other guess is Zac Efron.

It's always Zac Efron.

swizzard

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Mediahohoho — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:06:08 EDT

I'd say Laura Bush, but her husband doesn't strike me as one for the ladies, if you catch my drift.

Mediahohoho

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

swizzard — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:05:53 EDT

@roodles: my first thought was, "can we hit this man until he stops writing?"

@notalent: of course!

swizzard

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

bodegacat — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:02:05 EDT

in a youtube universe, it would be jennifer garner, fucking sarah silverman

bodegacat

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

notalent — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:58:14 EDT

Julia Allison.

notalent

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

stew — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:53:08 EDT

dakota fanning

stew

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Goober_Pea — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:52:00 EDT

Like usual, it's obviously Helen Mirren.

Goober_Pea

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

BK_KT — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:51:09 EDT

How has no one said Renee Zellweger yet??!!! She even has a weird Rosie-esque haircut.

BK_KT

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

VoxPopuli — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:47:48 EDT

@roodles: The idea of Ted Casablancas' pap, good or bad, makes my brain throw up.

VoxPopuli

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

gawksFromaRock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:44:08 EDT

Nicky don't like dicky...?

gawksFromaRock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

itispunky — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:41:22 EDT

It's gotta be Nicole Kidman. There was always speculation that she and Tom Cruise had a "marriage of convenience."

itispunky

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

roodles — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:40:25 EDT

It's Nicole Kidman.

BTW Does reading Ted Casablanca's badly-phrased pap make anyone else's brain melt?

roodles

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

altachica — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:39:00 EDT

jessica biel. guarantee. i've heard about justin timberlake and let me tell you- i think he's way too hard on britney in his songs for what he supposedly does.

altachica

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:37:12 EDT

@azi: She's botoxed so tightly that she speaks with a Spanish accent.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Cheap Shot — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:36:33 EDT

It's not Nicole Kidman because she's married. If I were the guy I'd shut up and try for a threesome.

Cheap Shot

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

azi — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:35:44 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Well then, Penelope, clearly. How botoxed is she though?

azi

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

VirusWithShoes — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:31:33 EDT

I think it's Nicole Kidman because I like the way it looks in my mind.

VirusWithShoes

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:27:14 EDT

The obvious choice is Tilda Swinton.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

gawksFromaRock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:26:52 EDT

...and it makes sense that she would have been paired up in a hetero-front relationship with Tom Cruise .

gawksFromaRock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

gawksFromaRock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:24:15 EDT

@VoxPopuli: I think you are right.
I think he's outing her (nicole kidman) because her bodyguard beat that photographer up. Which explains why the bodyguard was being so aggressive...she was on her way to a rug-brunch.

gawksFromaRock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:23:30 EDT

Bruce Jenner

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

VoxPopuli — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:22:18 EDT

@azi: I know - but maybe adding the pregnancy would be too identifiable? The rest of it really sounds like Nicole - Oscar notice, botox, etc.

VoxPopuli

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:19:25 EDT

@kpsquare: HAH!

TheHonJudgeSmails

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:19:19 EDT

Mindy Cohn

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

kpsquare — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:17:32 EDT

Roz from Night Court

kpsquare

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:16:55 EDT

Chris Crocker

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:15:35 EDT

Oprah

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:13:56 EDT

Shirley Hemphill

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:12:01 EDT

Melania Trump™ (the best part is, she's banging Rosie)

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Calitri — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:11:27 EDT

Sounds like my first girlfriend - bitch used me and not in the good way.

But I'll guess Eva Longoria Parker. Or ELP for short.

Calitri

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:08:36 EDT

@azi: Javier Bardem.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

azi — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:04:24 EDT

I'd say Nicole Kidman but it's odd they didn't mention pregnancy in there. Who is Penelope dating now a days?

azi

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:03:43 EDT

@scroll_lock: NO.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:03:13 EDT

Richard Simmons

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:02:23 EDT

Scarlett Johansson

sorry, Smails :(

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

Puton — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:00:22 EDT

soon-yi previn-allen?

Puton

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

VoxPopuli — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:00:17 EDT

Nicole Kidman? God knows she hasn't frowned in years.

VoxPopuli

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:57:31 EDT

Silda Spitzer

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

PandoraSpocks — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:56:35 EDT

Penelope Cruz?

PandoraSpocks

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:54:02 EDT

Hillary Clinton

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:53:23 EDT

Isabel Sanford

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:52:42 EDT

Charles Nelson Reilly

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:52:06 EDT

Elizabeth Hasselbeck

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:51:41 EDT

Nicolette Sheridan. Oh, wait- you said successful.

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

scroll_lock — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:49:14 EDT

Demi Moore

scroll_lock

Who Is the Disgruntled Lesbian?

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:48:06 EDT

It's definitely Kathy Lee Gifford.

TheHonJudgeSmails