The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants - Gawker Comments

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

alexisramer — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 10:46:35 EDT

Aren't breasts for feeding children?

I mean if you have them and choose to breast feed, of course...

This story is sickening and sad.

Sad from the perspective that in 2008- girls/woman still feel the exact same kind of pressure to look good-despite their many accomplishments. The looking good comes at any cost, apparently, even death in this case.

Sickening from the perspective that the parents did not seem to have succeeded in instilling, in their child, a sense of self worth beyond one that would seek unneccessary surgery in order to what????

The thing is that bigger breasts don't make you happy. That defies logic. How can breasts make you happy? Your happiness is the way you think about things. I suppose if you think that breasts give you value as a human...and that is the type of person or people you hang with...then it follows you would feel "better"; however they are just silicone lumps- or saline...in and of themselves doing nothing.

Ahhhhh... like I said 2008....and we are still not moving forward in this bs. Did y'all see the rise in numbers for breast augmentations form 06 to '07....it is getting worse.

alexisramer

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ChrisRixBlows — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:31:34 EDT

@MartyPants:
@roodles:
thanks for the advice.
dont know why it multipled. sorry.

ChrisRixBlows

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

prettyparadox — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:57:27 EDT

@NinaHagen: Oh, word. The shopping is no longer so pleasant.

prettyparadox

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

WhyAreYouWearingStripes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:09:57 EDT

@MrInBetween:

Seriously, West Boca is kind of ghetto. The only good high schools in Boca are Spanish River and Boca High.

WhyAreYouWearingStripes

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

WhyAreYouWearingStripes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:09:05 EDT

Woohoo! Go Boca!

WhyAreYouWearingStripes

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

trustsatan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:27:20 EDT

@4_Chan!!!!!11!one: I'm with you. I have always been mystified as to why women would pay tens of thousands of dollars to have a surgeon mutilate their breasts. The end result is never pretty.

trustsatan

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ginger rant — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:20:37 EDT

@4_Chan!!!!!11!one: Look, I don't need "permission" to have small, real boobs from some GUY. Can somebody please, please find me a lesbian? Thanks.

ginger rant

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Buzz Killington — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:06:40 EDT

For the record, real small ones are infinitely more attractive than big fake ones. I have seen many fake boobs in my day, and I can say that precicely two sets have been what any objective observer would call 'good'. The rest were just 'big'.

Women, please take note. These things are totally unnecessary.

Buzz Killington

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

trustsatan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:53:25 EDT

@Claire Standish: Gainesville is really where the sanity begins to run out on a southward course, IMHO. Orlando holds no special place in my heart, I was just using it as a line of demarcation. Now that you mention it, I might actually want to visit Disney World if it were being run by Telemundo.

And, I suppose I should have qualified my statement (my bias is showing): the parts of South Florida inhabited by WHITE PEOPLE suck donkey. The actual city and the Beach are both crazy crazy places to be; interesting and unique. I went to high school down there, though, so I remember the mind-set of those kids very well and I can't imagine that it (the worldview of privileged Florida kids) has changed much for the better in the ensuing decade, given the fake tans, boobs, etc. that have been commercialized so efficiently in the meantime.

trustsatan

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

SylviaPlathWasFramed — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:47:06 EDT

That's why I refuse to patronize the West Boca Tits Up Boob Biggifying Clinic.

SylviaPlathWasFramed

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

TheUpMyAssPlayers — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:22:22 EDT

Two words: Darwin Award.

TheUpMyAssPlayers

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Gwinny — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:46:34 EDT

Her death matters more because she was cute and popular and a cheerleader, dammit!

Gwinny

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

dandles — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:45:25 EDT

I so want to make fun of this somehow, and I can't. It's so sad, on so many levels. Such a senseless loss.

dandles

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ginger rant — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:42:24 EDT

@prattler: It's enough to make me want to revoke my membership. Well, that and David Lee Roth.

ginger rant

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ginger rant — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:39:45 EDT

A, B, C--I've seen 'em all. Try starting out as a B and then having a baby. It's a titty-cup triathlon, I tells yiz.

ginger rant

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

prattler — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:16:45 EDT

Yes, staying with this category, I'll take: "Things White People Like" for $2000, Alex.

prattler

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

sassypants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:11:34 EDT

@Unfun: I'm with you, sistah. Jesus, I wish someone would clue these kids that adolescence is something to be survived....not necessarily enjoyed. Shit, pretty much all of the people I know hated adolescence and have enjoyed their 20s and 30s way more.
Oh, and I agree. I look better now than I ever did then!
When the hell did this plastic surgery in adolescence trend start? Because none of the chicks I went to high school with got fake knockers.

As far as the breasticles go? Speaking from the larger-boobed end of the spectrum, we all get ours in the end. Gravity sets in eventually........

sassypants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Claire Standish — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:22:06 EDT

@trustsatan: The Cubans have taken over everything south of Davie thankyouverymuch. The South Florida you speak of only exists in Boca, Palm Beach, and parts of Miami. The quasi rednecks and stoned surf rats are offended by your comments.

I am offended that you want to save Orlando.

Claire Standish

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Dusty in the Wind — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:18:52 EDT

@raphaela: Word.

Dusty in the Wind

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Dusty in the Wind — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:17:22 EDT

I blame The Hills!

YOU did this!

You filled this perfectly empty-headed Florida teen with the reckless idea that she needed to fix her hills.

JUSTICE NOW! (And if we can't have justice... REVENGE!)

Dusty in the Wind

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

rubyruby — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:14:03 EDT

@HowardRoarkLaughed: One corrects "assymetry" with implants. Also, most women are assymetrical to a degree. I could see work for the inversion, but implants wouldn't be needed for that. I have the sense it was a, "well.... while we're at it, why not?" sort of thing.

rubyruby

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

rubyruby — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:11:31 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: Exactly. You don't really finish developing the body you're going to have as a woman until your early 20's. There's also the whole "freshman 10" thing. That temporarily knocked me from a B cup to a C cup, way back when.

rubyruby

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

BalknChain — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:08:33 EDT

@CodePink: Yeah, something like thou shall not covet thy neighbor's daughter's breasts.

BalknChain

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ginger rant — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:02:36 EDT

@Unfun: Naw ... that would be anti-anti-feminist, so we're good there.

Vaguely relatedly (but not really): I'm finally reading a Mary Gaitskill novel, and I can't for the life of me figure out how she has come to be regarded as a pro-woman literary icon. Your thoughts?

ginger rant

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:58:49 EDT

@ginger rant: I was counting on you! Do you think burning Julia Allison in effigy is anti-feminist?

Unfun

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

CodePink — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:48:12 EDT

@BalknChain: Haha. They could probably use letters, too!

CodePink

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

NinaHagen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:47:35 EDT

@ithawtitoldya: Selfless altruism - doctors just want to help people.

NinaHagen

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

yourfriendandneighbor — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:46:23 EDT

Also, what about this part of the story:

Kuleba was undergoing surgery to correct asymmetrical breasts and an inverted areola, Stanziale told the program.

I suppose it's bullshit code like deviated septum is for nose job?

yourfriendandneighbor

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

trustsatan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:42:35 EDT

South Florida is one of the most horrible places on Earth for a thoughtful person; humanity's boundless capacity for spiritual emptiness and materialism reaches new lows. And I'm not talking about the hedonist gays, I'm talking about the orange-skinned teenagers driving $80K cars to and from spa appointments who can't speak without affecting the marble-mouthed drawl they learned from watching the Hills...

In all seriousness, South Florida sucks. I say suspend all laws south of Orlando for 6 months and let the Cubans take it back by force.

trustsatan

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ginger rant — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:42:29 EDT

@Unfun: I'd totally go, but at 3 PM I'm having my vag flaps shortened. Maybe some other time!

ginger rant

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ithawtitoldya — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:41:53 EDT

Why would a doctor even agree to perform breast augmentation on a girl that young?

ithawtitoldya

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

HowardRoarkLaughed — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:41:52 EDT

I actually just read the article, it mentions nothing about implants, saying her surgery was to "correct asymmetrical breasts and an inverted areola."

That's a bit different.

At least everyone at her highschool now knows that she had an inverted nip.

HowardRoarkLaughed

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

HowardRoarkLaughed — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:39:13 EDT

Thankfully, the penis reduction I got in highschool was more succesful.

HowardRoarkLaughed

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

DorothyMantooth — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:38:08 EDT

@NinaHagen: Hear fucking hear!

Also, Dis, I don't disagree with you. But I think allowing your teenaged daughter to get implants very much does constitute abuse! And we should be as outraged by that sort of behavior as we are by the other forms.

DorothyMantooth

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

loliver35 — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:35:31 EDT

Did y'all read this part of the article:

From 2002 to 2003, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of women and girls 18 and younger who got breast implants nearly tripled, from 3,872 to 11,326.

What the hell is going on in our society? Damn.

loliver35

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Creepmouse — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:35:29 EDT

And somewhere in Teen Angel Heaven, Ram Sweeney wonders why: 1) God had to kill such hot snatch; and 2) everybody's so serious. Geez!

Creepmouse

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

dado — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:26:40 EDT

@In Other News...: So sad, yet so true.

dado

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Knucklehead Babylon — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:18:09 EDT

Heed this warning cheerleaders, be not like Icarus and fly too close to the sun on breasts of silicone.

Knucklehead Babylon

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

NinaHagen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:15:12 EDT

Has anyone told these girls that having huge gazongas will prevent you from buying a blouse that closes for the rest of your life?

NinaHagen

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

raphaela — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:14:24 EDT

I noticed this "Organizers charged $1 for each candle at the vigil - money that will be given to Kuleba's family for expenses.". Somehow, charging for candles to fund a family who supplied their high schooler with a Lexus and plastic surgery seems...like just the sort of thing a group of vapid, West Boca cheerleaders might do.

raphaela

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

NinaHagen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:13:09 EDT

We've given our girls so much - who cares about being smart if you look like a porn star? That's what having it all is all about - I see it so clearly now.

NinaHagen

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Miss D — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:12:14 EDT

Astounds me that women will voluntarily go under general anesthesia for such a stupid reason, don't the 5,000 consent forms all ending in "... may result in DEATH" discourage them?

Miss D

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

BettyCrocker — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:07:42 EDT

@Unfun: I'll go. And I'm a gay dude.

Why?

The people who have the sort of mindset that encourages young women who are arriving at their physical peak to get implants, is the same mindset that teaches young gay guys that something is wrong with them.

BettyCrocker

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

In Other News... — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:07:14 EDT

@dado: I'll bet Dad paid for them.

In Other News...

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

iplaudius — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:01:04 EDT

If breasts could kill ...

iplaudius

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ineffable.me — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:00:20 EDT

Somewhere, Joe Francis shed a tear.

ineffable.me

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:54:02 EDT

@Road_Rash: I'm not! I haz a sadness! I'm all motivated to go an a feminist march today. Who's coming?

Unfun

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

TheHonJudgeSmails — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:48:03 EDT

Let's not lose sight of the important issue, here:

What does Kanye have to say about this?

TheHonJudgeSmails

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

McCheeburger — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:45:10 EDT

Oh, dear me, the narrative arc of Stephanie Kuleba's breasts is not at all like Kelly Kreth's.

Guess prom queen is not in the cards now, huh?

McCheeburger

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

BalknChain — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:44:11 EDT

@CodePink: I have boys currently, 11 and 13. Maybe I'll just go home and smack 'em for good measure.

BalknChain

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Road_Rash — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:41:37 EDT

Damn ya'll are cold as hell.

Road_Rash

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Said Not — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:40:26 EDT

She looks like Natalie Holloway. I smell a conspiracy! Not sure what it is.. I just got a whiff.

Said Not

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Toomanytomatoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:40:25 EDT

@Phyllis Nefler: I think, jesus, I haven't changed at all. I'm just older and more pathetic. What happened to all those "accolmplishments?"

Toomanytomatoes

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:40:16 EDT

@CodePink: Well, I'm going to do this later when I'm not working. I'll post it to here. I'm all about this kinda shit. Tits, pro-women, future daughters, I'm ovulating, woo!

Unfun

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

SarahHeartburn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:39:36 EDT

And did no one clue little Kuleba into the fact that girls keep filling out until they're about 21 or so? I grew an inch and went up a size all over. Who the hell lets a kid mutilate her boobs before she's finished growing?

SarahHeartburn

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Itsjustcatnip — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:39:21 EDT

Sad, just sad. Silly girl.

Itsjustcatnip

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

TedCopacabana — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:37:15 EDT

At least she died trying to achieve greatness.

TedCopacabana

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Phyllis Nefler — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:35:57 EDT

@CodePink: Have you ever done those projects where you write letters to yourself and then they get mailed to you 5, 10, however many years later, or you open them at graduation or something? I always look back at those things and think man, I was so lame. Good thing I'm so much cooler now.

Phyllis Nefler

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Sarcastro — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:34:08 EDT

@Unfun: Spreading it?

Excellent.

(And, back to the juvenilia.)

Sarcastro

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

vulturesquadron — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:31:59 EDT

@CodePink: That's guaranteed to elicit a heart-tugging "ewwwww, so gross" from your baby girl.

vulturesquadron

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Daria: Wants a dollarmillionare — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:31:45 EDT

@ADismalScience: I and the world would care about those "others" if they would just get some hair extensions, blond highlights, some teeth brightener and if that brightener got on to their skin it wouldn't hurt.

Daria: Wants a dollarmillionare

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

mitchel_stevens — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:30:41 EDT

@Eve Summers:
Boo. yet...well, fitting.

mitchel_stevens

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:29:58 EDT

@CodePink: Um, hell YES. It's taken me 29 years to get to where I'm at, I'm hot shit and I feel like spreading it.

Unfun

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

vulturesquadron — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:29:25 EDT

It's tragic. She never had a chance to enjoy the finer things that life has to offer, like fake boobs. And such as.

vulturesquadron

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Sarcastro — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:29:17 EDT

@CodePink: I hate being serious in general and in this forum in particular, but I think yours is an excellent idea.

Sarcastro

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:28:54 EDT

Oh, ladies. We of the small-breasted ilk often dream of being busty, but even the flattest of tits are infinitely sexier than hard, immobile half-cantaloupe implants shamefully foisted upon us by a big-tit obsessed culture. It's a shame this girl had to die before she embraced her itty bittys. Dare to love yourselves as you are for fuck's sake.

Unfun

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

prettyparadox — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:28:37 EDT

Oof. "Mo-om! All the girls in my grade are AT LEAST a C-cup! Even the freshmen have biger boobs than me! It's, like, totally killing my sense of self-worth! I NEED new boobs! If I don't get them I'll just DIE." Wait. Now I'm depressed. This is so sad.

prettyparadox

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

CodePink — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:27:35 EDT

Gawker Ladies, this is corny. But what do you say we all write letters to our future daughters about loving and accepting their bodies? Then we can give them to them when they start going through puberty. My friend did something like this for a project for a college class and I loved the idea.

CodePink

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

hypocriteoath — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:26:34 EDT

@ADismalScience: did he have big uns?

hypocriteoath

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Eve Summers — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:24:57 EDT

She wanted killer tits. She got 'em.

Eve Summers

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Daria: Wants a dollarmillionare — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:24:33 EDT

If you are a dancer, cheerleader, gymnast isn't the last thing you want is big breast? I mean if I turn to fast I might knock myself out let alone trying to do a cartwheel.

Daria: Wants a dollarmillionare

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ADismalScience — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:21:26 EDT

*IN WHICH DIS BREAKS THE "DON'T BLOG ANGRY" RULE*

Yes, this is infinitely more tragic than the hundreds of other high school kids who die for stupid reasons, because she was pretty and they were just fake boobs. She had so much jiggly promise. Let's hold a candlelight vigil for all the other victims of plastic surgery worldwide. Err, well, mostly in the US.

This deserves more coverage than kids who die from abuse, violence, or drug involvement because it ties in great with other trend pieces and other infotainment - all linked at the bottom of the page! Besides, most of those kids are ugly or minorities. We sympathize with this girl and secretly condemn those other kids who drive drunk, huff too much paint, or get caught in crossfires. Hell, not only is the coverage broader - the REACTION is broader. I wonder if the kid who hung himself the other month got a candlelight vigil?

ADismalScience

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

roodles — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:21:19 EDT

@ChrisRixBlows: great you went to Jugs High, now fucking stop.

roodles

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:20:04 EDT

@MartyPants: That would have so much better if you'd typed "sloppily sheared." - Your Editor

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Cheap Shot — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:19:32 EDT

Notice how places with sunny weather and beaches in the states have people who get crazy with the body tune-up thing to the point where it's like a cartoon? I'm sure this girl was obsessed with getting boobs for her confidence but I think they need to match it with the legal drinking age.

Cheap Shot

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

StabbyFerosh — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:19:21 EDT

@Tnuc:
See the latest "Side-show Bob" Simpsons episode.

StabbyFerosh

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:18:34 EDT

@ChrisRixBlows: We get it. We get it! You like fake boobs.

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

britneyspearstears — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:18:23 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Nailed it!

britneyspearstears

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:17:13 EDT

@TedSez: Must have been the dress. Probably a sweetheart neckline. The boobs must have been part of "our baby's all growed up and going to prom!"

Damn you 5-7-9 and your sloppily cut, synthetic, sweat-shop schmattes!

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

BabyJewn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:16:36 EDT

Sad story. But, wait--surely the parents who were able to afford the white Lexus can take care of her funeral expenses without, er, help--no?

BabyJewn

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ChrisRixBlows — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:16:21 EDT

girls in my high school got fake boobs all the time. it was no big deal.

ChrisRixBlows

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

KarenUhOh — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:15:50 EDT

The myth of affluence crystallized by a series of tragic mistakes. The parents can use the money from the lawsuit to numb themselves back together with her.

KarenUhOh

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ChrisRixBlows — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:15:23 EDT

girls in my high school got fake tits all the time. it was no big deal.

ChrisRixBlows

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:14:45 EDT

@misssgolightly: Exactly.

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

moondancer — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:14:30 EDT

How wrongheaded is this? She has all that on the ball and feels a need for implants? The parents taught her a poor set of values.

moondancer

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

ChrisRixBlows — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:14:26 EDT

girls at my high school would get fake tits all the time. it was no big deal.

ChrisRixBlows

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

roodles — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:14:13 EDT

@dado: first of all based on your icon we are destined to be married.

Second, when are people going to remember that plastic surgery is still surgery i.e. potentially risky and dangerous and not the same as a trip to the Macy's counter for a free makeover? Why were her parents allowed to breed?!

roodles

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:13:50 EDT

@hypocriteoath: Well. You know. Maybe if you like really "need" it. Then it's a "need," you know? Right?

I mean...isn't that what Senior spring break is for? That and corrections of deviated septums before you get to college.

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

DorothyZbornak — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:12:59 EDT

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: I read "shining silver pom poms" and pictured two implants.

DorothyZbornak

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

TedSez — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:09:56 EDT

A talented athlete, her path toward cheerleading began with competitive gymnastics.

In 2000, National Gymnastics of Boca Raton took 30 of its students, including Kuleba, to one of the nation's biggest gymnastics invitationals - the Gasparilla Gymnastics Classic in Tampa. Competing in bars, beam, floor and vault against others in her age group and skill level, an 11-year-old Kuleba placed first all-around.

"She was very talented," said Leila Milgrim, 16, a friend of Kuleba's. "She was a great athlete. And she had all of these other things going for her, too. She did everything well."

Kuleba had brains to match her beauty, friends said, earning a GPA above 4.0, acing advanced placement courses and earning an acceptance letter from the University of Florida.

She was excited about taking pre-med courses in Gainesville. But the day she really looked forward to was in May, when she was to go to her senior prom for one last hurrah with her friends.

She'd just bought a stunning dress and made plans with a date.

"It was a great time in her life," said friend and classmate Larraine Saavedra, 16.

Cheerleading and academics made for a rigorous schedule but Kuleba still spent three years working an after-school waitressing job at a Rotelli's restaurant.

On her days off she would often stop by the restaurant with friends and order her favorite dish: a Malibu salad with fresh mozzarella.

Her name is still scribbled on the Rotelli's schedule, slated to work after school Thursday.

TedSez

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

misssgolightly — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:09:25 EDT

@MartyPants: The kind of parent who bestows a Lexus on a teenager, then charges $1 for candles at the memorial to go to the family for "expenses."

misssgolightly

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Tnuc — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:09:12 EDT

Hopefully they'll be able to close the coffin.

Tnuc

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

hypocriteoath — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:09:08 EDT

@MartyPants: really, mom? a lexus? A LEXUS? you've ruined my life! i wanted the boxster. biznatch.

hypocriteoath

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Buzz Killington — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:09:06 EDT

It is creepy beyond belief for parents to buy tits for their teenage daughter. Creepy as fucking hell. Ugh.

Buzz Killington

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

dado — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:08:49 EDT

I'll bet her parents are divorced.

dado

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:08:19 EDT

And in the last graf, the Palm Beach Post assumes its readership is competely fucking stupid...
Anesthesia is a way to control pain using medication.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

hypocriteoath — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:07:59 EDT

@MartyPants: is bewb augmenting anything but elective, ever?

hypocriteoath

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

acridsheep — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:07:51 EDT

I'm outraged - everyone knows the NSFW version follows the break!

acridsheep

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:06:58 EDT

@BettyCrocker: The kind of parent who bestows a Lexus on a teenager.

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

hypocriteoath — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:06:46 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: we know you're in mourning all morning. and afternoon.

hypocriteoath

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MartyPants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:06:09 EDT

Wise editorial decision to crop all the pics so we can't decide for ourselves whether this was truly an elective procedure. Thanks a lot Palm Beach Post.

MartyPants

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Sarcastro — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:06:09 EDT

Girls, you look fine. Stop this shit.

Sarcastro

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Toomanytomatoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:06:08 EDT

oh vanity of vanities

Toomanytomatoes

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:05:53 EDT

Kuleba was beloved by classmates at West Boca High, more than 400 of whom gathered outside the school Sunday night for a candlelight vigil. They hung Kuleba's shining silver pompons and cheerleading T-shirt on the fence outside the school

NEVER FORGET

Botswana Meat Commission FC

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

BettyCrocker — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:03:33 EDT

What sort of parent allows / encourages their daughter to do this? Losing their daughter isn't punishment enough - they should be on lockdown and their other kids placed with family who love and respect them.

BettyCrocker

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

MrInBetween — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:03:18 EDT

"West Boca High." I don't think there are three more melancholy words in the English language.

MrInBetween

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

TheHonJudgeSmails — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:02:45 EDT

There is truly nothing sadder than the loss of an 18-year-old Floridian cheerleader with the moxie and gumption to pursue some big ol' fake tits.

TheHonJudgeSmails

The End Of Schadenfreude: A Cheerleader Dies From Breast Implants

contradicto — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:00:46 EDT

This is all Heidi Montag's fault.

contradicto