Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points - Gawker Comments

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

nycheartbreaker — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:36:36 EDT

@KarenUhOh: NBC = No Ball Commentary?

nycheartbreaker

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:26:20 EDT

@AndSheSaid: Huh? Commie? No way, I'm an'merican!

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

kingsquiddish — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:21:52 EDT

@vibe-rater: I don't listen to hip hop.

kingsquiddish

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

keithsherwood — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 08:56:45 EDT

@brechtgirl: Sweet Jesus! Mochi! That's both very correct and strangely elevates the art of ball licking.

keithsherwood

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

javysan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:08:08 EDT

@La Cieca: Kind of reminds me when I decided to use a massage oil called Panzuto to relieve my blueballsitis. Think Ben Gay or Icy Hot. It just wasn't pleasant...for at least ten minutes after.

javysan

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

SheWalkedWithAZombie — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:00:27 EDT

@bjonston: Your desecration of that poem is so very very wrong. And commie-worthy.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

SheWalkedWithAZombie — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:57:13 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: The reason he can do that back flip is because he has only one ball: it provides the proper balance and momentum.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

tigerpop — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:55:56 EDT

@Hez: Oh, hey babe. I didn't know you were online today.

tigerpop

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

wretched_of_the_mirth — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:23:11 EDT

On the other hand, them Seattle Marinaders always made the helicopter look like a barrel of smegma-coughing fun...

HELICOPTER

I do the propeller for the ladies (helicopter minus the sack), and it's always a huge success.

wretched_of_the_mirth

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

wretched_of_the_mirth — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:12:11 EDT

@bjonston: Trust me, brother, I know. Had to get mine tied to the... what the hell did they tie it to??

wretched_of_the_mirth

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

McCheeburger — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:07:05 EDT

6). They would look great on your chin!

McCheeburger

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:59:23 EDT

balls, balls, they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart; the more you fart, the better you feel; so let's have balls for every meal! Yay!

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

surfbeavernsb — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:59:08 EDT

AC/DC wrote a song about them.

surfbeavernsb

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

TheHonJudgeSmails — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:35:59 EDT

@sassypants: Aww, I love making people pee.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Helman — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:28:05 EDT

@Conbon: Me, neither. (Also -- ha!)

Helman

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Trixie from Toronto — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:18:50 EDT

@La Cieca: All except Mario Batali -- I just couldn't go there.

Trixie from Toronto

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:16:21 EDT

@wretched_of_the_mirth: dude, a twisted nut is nothing to giggle about.

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

wretched_of_the_mirth — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:08:54 EDT

Has anyone here lived through a serious bout of testicular torsion? Kinda makes you giggle at the bluish tint.

wretched_of_the_mirth

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:05:39 EDT

And to paraphrase the great poet, Robert Service:

The world is sadly sick, they say,
And plagued by woe and pain.
But look! How looms my ballsack gay,
With blooms in golden reign!
With lyric music in the air,
Of joy fulfilled in song,
I can't believe that anywhere
Is hate and harm and wrong.

A paradise my ballsack is,
And there my day is spent;
A steep myself in sunny bliss,
Incredibly content.
Feeling that I am truly part
Of peace so rapt and still,
There's not a care within my heart . . .
How can the world be ill?

Aye, though the land be sick they say,
And named unto pain,
My ballsack never was so gay,
So innocent, so sane.
My pebbles mock at misery,
My cobbles vie in song . . .
When only beauty I can see,
How can the world be wrong?

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

La Cieca — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:05:28 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Whoa, you've been with all men? I am so looking forward to your memoir!

La Cieca

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:03:07 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Agree with that. But first test your nails on an orange - if you can scrape any of the peel off, you may need to do some judicious trimming.

This is known in ball-circles as the "Orange Peel Test".

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:58:11 EDT

oh wait a second, we're still on balls?

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:57:39 EDT

@Calitri: yeah, i hear ya. i can't seem to get over it myself. although, to be clear, my dad was never an opponent of his or anything. but the guy was just so hard-core! he saved children, but not the british children. i mean, come on!?!?!?

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Trixie from Toronto — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:46:18 EDT

@Unfun: I have found all men particularly partial to a gentle scratching of the balls. Just ever so lightly raking your well-trimmed nails over the ballsack. No long nails!!

Trixie from Toronto

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Calitri — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:45:12 EDT

@bjonston: Most of the time, I wish he was my dad. Oh, who am I kidding, I wish that all the time.

Calitri

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

sassypants — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:42:25 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: "@Mediahohoho: Correct! And with the shaft placed down the bridge of your nose, you've just won yourself a Roman War Helmet!"

HA! I haven't laughed that hard at something in weeks. Seriously, I almost peed a little.

sassypants

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:41:58 EDT

@PimpMyCouch: While a busty woman struggling with her straps provokes no such reaction.

Mike_Jahn

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:38:59 EDT

@vibe-rater: no good for yoga, either.

Mike_Jahn

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:38:03 EDT

@ObtuseIntolerant: Yep. Heard it. It wasn't just you.

Mike_Jahn

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:34:35 EDT

@Unfun: Fuck! No thumbs!! Are you crazy?

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:31:46 EDT

@Calitri: That's exactly what they say. Fuckin' killing for fun. That guy was a bad-ass!

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:29:09 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Yes! Just notice the responses below. You never know what to do! Some guys will like, bust a nut, pun intended, if you suck them. I know, I know, I can just ask. But it takes time to build to, "Baby, lick my balls!" So what to do in the interim? I just wanted some rules of thumb. Apparently, there aren't any.

Unfun

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Calitri — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:26:25 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: Ones ball and or balls should never disappear completely from sight into a dark wet place with teeth. As long as there aren't teeth involved, I'd say it's A OK.

@bjonston: You know what they say, "Two on the vine, so divine."

Calitri

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Calitri — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:21:23 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: The miracle of life. Beautiful.

@Unfun: A gentle fondling may be met with nothing more than a shrug and slight nod of recongnition. A good taint massage, on the other hand, should earn you diamonds.

9. Can be worn as a pair of goggles (typically Arabian).

Calitri

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Heather Fink — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:20:51 EDT

i luv nutsax

Heather Fink

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

brechtgirl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:20:17 EDT

12. Lightly tonguing balls kinda feels like lightly tonguing mochi.

brechtgirl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

PimpMyCouch — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:19:31 EDT

@vibe-rater: I hate those guys! And you can't help but look at their crotch and they know it!

PimpMyCouch

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:18:48 EDT

@jackvinyl: Wow. That was you?

I think we used to be neighbours a few years back.

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

bjonston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:16:23 EDT

Did y'all know George Washington (a/k/a "the Father of our Country") had two sets of balls? Well, he did. And like 30 dicks. I saw it on youtube.

bjonston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

ObtuseIntolerant — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:16:13 EDT

"Hitler has only got one ball..."

Did anyone else spend middle school singing that over and over after reading John Knowle's "A Separate Peace"?

Just me? OK!

ObtuseIntolerant

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

jackvinyl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:15:12 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: Funny, because that same move makes me want to scream like Ben Cartwright, "BONANZA! You've reached the Ponderosa, time to homestead."

jackvinyl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

vibe-rater — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:11:21 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: I imagine it would just make them bigger.

vibe-rater

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:10:12 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Agree with that - getting mine's sucked freaks me out a bit. Also, getting one sucked COMPLETELY INTO THE MOUTH makes me want to scream like Veronica Cartwright when she saw John Hurt's chest burst open in Alien.

But that's just me.

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:10:09 EDT

@vibe-rater: A workout with light weights won't help a woman get rid of balls.

Mike_Jahn

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

vibe-rater — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:08:46 EDT

@kingsquiddish: He ain't bow-legged -- his balls are just too enormous for him to bring his thighs any closer together. I'm sure you've observed this crippling phenomenon on the subway trains where seated gentlemen are forced by the ungodly magnitude of their nutz to take up three seats.

vibe-rater

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Clarence Rosario — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:08:01 EDT

@the supergoddess: Me? Never. Although I'm told I'm a master at it.

Clarence Rosario

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:07:50 EDT

@Unfun: Can you be a pound bag of weed? KTHXBAI!

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Trixie from Toronto — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:07:20 EDT

@Unfun: I so agree with this. Men are very particular about their balls. Some like lots of ball fondling, others none at all. Some like a gentle touch, some like a more spirited kneading. All, however, seem to enjoy being licked. But sucking? Not for everyone.

Trixie from Toronto

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Hez — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:04:44 EDT

That hideous tattoo just degrades us all.

Hez

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

the supergoddess — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:04:38 EDT

@Clarence Rosario: you're baiting me, aren't you?

the supergoddess

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Trixie from Toronto — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:03:35 EDT

@Steverino: I'm curious to know which ones you're disputing.

Trixie from Toronto

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:03:19 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: I'm whatever you want me to be baby.

Unfun

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Clarence Rosario — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:01:26 EDT

Don't even get me started about the taint.

No, not you.

Clarence Rosario

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

kingsquiddish — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:59:02 EDT

what's with the bowlegged gay dude in the picture?

kingsquiddish

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Cheap Shot — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:57:30 EDT

I'm surprised you didn't mention how one testicle always hangs lower.

Cheap Shot

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:54:32 EDT

@Unfun: That's four "some guys" you've listed there, honey.

You're still keeping yourself "pure", right?

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

BaconCat — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:52:36 EDT

One hangs lower than the other. Like boobs, they should be felt up regularly... ...for medical reasons. I forget which reasons, but feel them up anyway.

BaconCat

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:51:26 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: Yes, see? I just find that it varies so much. Some guys don't seem to love it that much if you touch them. Some guys go crazy when you do. Some guys like when you grab them. Some guys just like a gentle caress. It's hard to navigate the ballsac. But it's oh, so very sweet.

Unfun

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

FitnessMadeSimple — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:50:39 EDT

@zkemeny: What kind of weirdo pendulums have you been hanging around?

FitnessMadeSimple

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

McCheeburger — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:49:50 EDT

Balls Emit A Slight Odor
However, leaving the scrotal sack on will ameliorate some of this effect.

Mine smell like douglas fir and cinnamon, but that's because I shower thrice weekly.

McCheeburger

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

zkemeny — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:47:47 EDT

6) they can be made to twirl in a pleasing clockwise manner, like a pendulum.

zkemeny

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

semiserious — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:46:39 EDT

Putting balls in bullet points? Sounds kinky.

semiserious

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

TheHonJudgeSmails — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:45:53 EDT

@brechtgirl: I will accept that as an equivalent of equal or greater comic value. Thank you!

TheHonJudgeSmails

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

PimpMyCouch — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:42:52 EDT

@Conbon: Don't lie. We've all been talking about it.

PimpMyCouch

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:42:01 EDT

@Unfun: If you tickle my balls gently, you'll find I'll carry the groceries for you without any complaining. We don't even have to go shopping. Or out.

Just tickle my balls, please.

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

brechtgirl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:39:12 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: I had understood that was called giving/getting a gonzo.

brechtgirl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

VirusWithShoes — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:38:57 EDT

My balls contain millions of the beginnings of little people unlike women who have just one big egg thing which is only available ONCE during June every seven years and my balls sometimes leak the beginnings of little people onto the big egg and sometime later the big egg hatches out the woman and the stuff that comes out the egg looks like a little person without clothes or internet access and I guess the little person if it's a man will have balls himself and may go on to find an egg to make hatch and produce more little people and so forth but if it's a woman that's hatched then she will have to realise her cycle is not that frequent and should plan her Summer holidays around it.

VirusWithShoes

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

La Cieca — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:38:26 EDT

This is going to sound counterintuitive, but trust me. Don't use this product on your balls.

La Cieca

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

scarletmenace — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:38:04 EDT

I'm not sure I'm down with the post-gay Gawker.

scarletmenace

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

PimpMyCouch — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:38:03 EDT

@Unfun: I've found that some cupping and fondling is always appreciated. But don't squeeze as though you're testing avocados for ripeness. That is, apparently, a balls faux pas.

PimpMyCouch

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

jackvinyl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:36:34 EDT

@Unfun: Balls like to be taken up to the line but not over that line -NEVER over that line... finding the line, well that's what makes monogamy worth a damn, it can take a lifetime to develop a true understanding of a man's balls...

jackvinyl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Conbon — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:36:05 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: I told you that was for my swim meet!

Conbon

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Nard — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:34:21 EDT

@jackvinyl: I've heard that ball-sweat thing before, but I can't for the life of me get my sack to my ear.

Nard

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Sarcastro — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:33:21 EDT

@Unfun: My balls enjoy a little company.

Sarcastro

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Nard — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:32:05 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: Did you know: Television personality Larry King has eleven testicles, each one the size, and durability, of a quail egg?

Nard

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

jackvinyl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:30:13 EDT

@Hez: Speaking as a man who has drummed - you are correct miss.

But a tip to mens everywhere, a dab of ball-sweat (of the SlightOdor variety & not the drummer variety) behind your ears is the best cologne imaginable - srsly, sounds gross but it will get you laid.

jackvinyl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

vibe-rater — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:29:10 EDT

@the supergoddess: And they love you!

vibe-rater

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

vibe-rater — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:28:19 EDT

@papa-galo: Most men, if they live long enough, find out what it's like to walk around with boobs, but I don't think that's true when it comes to women and balls -- or is it?

vibe-rater

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Unfun — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:28:18 EDT

Alright, what's the deal with ball stimulation? Is it just as indispensable as tit play? Does it vary by dude? I feel like I don't ever know how much to go to town because it's just not something readily discussed when you start getting busy with someone.

Unfun

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

the supergoddess — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:25:56 EDT

the most important thing you need to know about balls? THAT I LOVE THEM.

the supergoddess

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

jackvinyl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:24:46 EDT

The ratio of actual cases of blue balls to the invocation of blue balls as used to convince youngish girls to give teenaged/college-aged/post-divorce men handjobs is something like:

1/2150

jackvinyl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

CodePink — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:24:42 EDT

@Chillarious: How long before you realize she's making fun of Top 10 lists and sticking with the snarky tone of Gawker rather well? In my opinion. (Hi. My name's CodePink. Sometimes I get defensive of writers.)

CodePink

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

KarenUhOh — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:24:42 EDT

@KarenUhOh: What is your fucking problem?

KarenUhOh

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Hez — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:24:21 EDT

I'm sorry, "SLIGHT"???

You've obviously never blown a drummer.

Hez

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

TheHonJudgeSmails — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:23:43 EDT

@papa-galo: Conbon just tucks his between his freshly-waxed legs.

TheHonJudgeSmails

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

KarenUhOh — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:21:51 EDT

What CBS doesn't want you to know is that you can do every bit as much damage with two as with one.

KarenUhOh

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

papa-galo — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:21:26 EDT

I don't know how you guys even walk around with those things!

papa-galo

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Sarcastro — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:19:26 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: I just jump up and down. Less invasive/more fun.

Sarcastro

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

TheHonJudgeSmails — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:19:03 EDT

@Mediahohoho: Correct! And with the shaft placed down the bridge of your nose, you've just won yourself a Roman War Helmet!

TheHonJudgeSmails

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Bell County — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:19:00 EDT

@Conbon: @Bell County: I meant "Ha!" and "institutional memory"

Bell County

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

In Other News... — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:18:42 EDT

@businesspearl: They are like JuJuBes, only saltier.

In Other News...

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

FitnessMadeSimple — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:18:16 EDT

@notsofresh: That is a myth. He did not have one testicle. But you know who does? Scott Hamilton. And he can do a backflip while skating. Don't think Hitler ever managed that feat.

FitnessMadeSimple

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

AuntPeniston — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:18:09 EDT

I had to stop watching Lifetime movies because of the pain it was causing in my husband's balls.

AuntPeniston

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

In Other News... — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:17:29 EDT

Rebecca, you didn't just bury the lede, you left it out completely:

"Balls hurt when they are kicked."

In Other News...

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Mediahohoho — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:16:17 EDT

6) When properly used, balls will obscure the vision of you lover.

Mediahohoho

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Bell County — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:15:36 EDT

@Conbon: Institutional knowledge is funny sometimes.

Bell County

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

BK_KT — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:15:28 EDT

So glad I don't have balls.

BK_KT

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:14:15 EDT

@Political Party Girl: some guys have two thirds of a pawn shop.

Mike_Jahn

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

notsofresh — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:14:06 EDT

Dunno about #4. Hitler had only one testicle. And things went pretty well for him, didn't they?

notsofresh

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

mitchel_stevens — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:13:17 EDT

@businesspearl:
wait, there's a clitoris?

mitchel_stevens

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

brechtgirl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:12:28 EDT

@Steverino: which three?

brechtgirl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

marvel girl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:12:23 EDT

@Political Party Girl: I swear I was thinking that...

marvel girl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

NinaHagen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:12:10 EDT

@CaptainFantastic: Not cornstarch?

NinaHagen

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

PimpMyCouch — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:11:56 EDT

1) Knew that
2) Kind of knew that
3) Agreed!
4) Indeed!
5) What kind of activities? Details!

PimpMyCouch

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Conbon — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:11:23 EDT

Helman, I don't get this.

Conbon

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

businesspearl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:10:59 EDT

Next: Five very important clitoral misconceptions

businesspearl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

NinaHagen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:10:28 EDT

@Steverino: Do tell...

NinaHagen

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Political Party Girl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:08:06 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?...

Political Party Girl

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Products Will Save Me — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:08:01 EDT

Yes but at the bowling alley I go to, they... Oh. Those.

Products Will Save Me

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

CaptainFantastic — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:07:38 EDT

In the summer, baby powder is their friend, and mine.

CaptainFantastic

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Nic Fit — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:07:29 EDT

Martinis are like testicles. One is not enough, but three is too many.

Nic Fit

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

Chillarious — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:06:58 EDT

How long until the other Gawker reporters realize how many pageviews asinine posts like this receive because of their topical nature and this site becomes nothing but top 10 sex lists?

Chillarious

Your Balls, in Five Bullet Points

FitnessMadeSimple — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:06:52 EDT

There should be an addendum to bullet four:

Occasionally when sitting down, you might find that one testicle has become misplaced. Do not panic. This sometimes happens as a result of the legs being positioned too close together. The testicle has likely migrated to your pelvic region. This can be remedied by standing up and or by using the index finger to locate the stray texticle and gently relocating it to its original position within the scrotum.

FitnessMadeSimple