<![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit" - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit" - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> men also demonstrate what?

slinkimalinki

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> The upset mom can talk to me:

Please remember your own sexual curiosity as a child. Please dom't hand down your fears to your children. Please stop making the next generation into a bunch of pussies.

yogagrrrl

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Where the hell am I going to move now? Not that Park Slope was on the short list in the first place but this Stepford.Life.Is.Wearing.Thin.

arirang

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @HiredGoons:
I must take umbrage, kind sir.

I believe the polite term is "rub one out."

Smitros

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> The Victorians didn't even have a concept of childhood. Ten year olds would pop one off every time they saw an ankle.

HiredGoons

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> But Mommy, Daddy sure looked happy in that video!

lil miss fckn sunshine

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> This is the best photo taken since the flag raising at Iwo Jima and perhaps the best example of constructive use of photoshop.

uncle_wiggly

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Here's what mommy can do: her and Daddy can call Snookums into the living room. Mommy and Daddy strip, and explain that this is what naked men and women really look like. You'll kill the kid's libido for life.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise: or herd!

FracturedAcetabulum

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> What about the offgassing of the plastic that the computer is made of?
I can't even think about visiting Park Slope without peeing a little with worry.

Saxon 212

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Children should be obscene and not heard.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @fileunder: And file her under Mrs. Fileunder, I guess!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> ....although I may try to get some info when I see her.

After the nanny leaves and turns off the computer for the night?

SpoiledGirlieGirl

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Over at Eyewitness News there's some sort of Bloomberg kerfuffle involving candy-colored guns. Is this part of the problem in Park Slope? Mauve Glocks? Tinky Wicky is packing?

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> At the age of eight the boy (same age) across the street was sucking me off. I didn't realize why, but he was enjoying it, so I wasn't going to ask him to stop.

So first, a warning: Once your children know how to pleasure one another orally, the universe is the limit, so don't assume it's not happening, even at this tender age.

rod

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Blindingly lame.

donmiguel

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> I'm no doctor, but I think the Mom needs about 1500mg of Xanax twice a day.

Fishman

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Guns and the internet - destroyers of the universe.

I left a People magazine lying around and my 10 year old told me Pamela Anderson was his perfect woman. And then I discovered the magazine in the bathroom.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @mathnet: Clearly, she's not as cool as Mrs. McClear.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @fileunder: This is the woman who banned the ice cream truck from my neighborhood. No, wait, that was my mom.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @fiveinchtaint: I stand with you at the barricade. It's extra funny if you read them once for earnestness then a second time hoping irony was intended.

CrankYank

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> This is the woman who successfully lobbied to get rid of Naked juice at the Co-Op.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> the term "playdate" is the 3rd most commonly used word in all of upper PS. yeah, don't even ask about 1 and 2.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @raphaela: That was outstanding. Thank you.

Also, is anyone else amused by the fact that a seven year old and a nine year old googled "naked women and men" and not "naked girls and boys"? And this mom thinks these kids aren't sophisticated!!

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> I love the ur-McCain fury on that kid's face.

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> "PenisBot" does sound pretty fucking awesome. I wonder if it mated with "FleshBot" would it create "Fuckin'Bot" ?

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> What does Elijah Pollack think of all of this porn nonsense?

FracturedAcetabulum

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @friend_of_a_friend: Wanna get drunk together while neglecting our non-existent kids (who are, of course, on the Playdate of Death and Porn)?

valet_of_the_dolls

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Why spend money on educating your kids when Google can teach them everything!

ext212

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @Richard & DorothyMantooth: Yes, that was superb.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @fiveinchtaint: I'm totally joking, Sheila's mom! But have you seen the commentary over there? Hilarous! Now I'm going home before I'm throttled.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Another case of a parent's response being more damaging than the original incident. David Pogue addressed this rather well:
[pogue.blogs.nytimes.com]

Bos'un's Mate

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Kids today. They don't know how easy they've got it. When I was 8, I had to crawl under my dad's work bench to sneak peeks at his Penthouse stash, or take surreptitious glances at John Lennon's weenie and Yoko Ono's untrimmed bush on the cover of "Two Virgins."

Granted, it was a bit...disconcerting... to discover the betamax tape on the top shelf of his bookcase that was marked "Star Wars" didn't exactly show anything that happened long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

snappaloosa

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> makes me almost not want to have kids because i don't want to meet people like this.

de wolfe

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @Richard: I'm so very much ripping off Magnificetorium.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Clearly, next should read never. It doesn't, but I'll be damned if it shouldn't.

Hipp

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> New tag for the picture: "I'm gonna bite your lightsword, Darth Vader!"

it takes a lot to laugh

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Maybe they should Google "proper bus etiquette when I'm trying to get to work on the B67 and your mother next taught you to shut up in public or to use your peripheral vision to avoid slamming the back of your head into my crotch or not to use my bag as a snot rag" instead.

Or they could just search "22nd trimester abortions."

Hipp

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @Mike_Jahn:

If I had to live among those people, you can bet your ass I would be heavily armed.

City_Dater

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @raphaela: 1. Why doesn't she just google a resource? The kid can more than likely show her how.

2. That same damn thing happened to me at about the same age - 4 or 5. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why (there's really good way to say this, so I'll just say it) they were naked and peeing into each other's mouths. In fact, to this day I still don't know. Possibly to ward off misquotes while traveling through the dense Amazon rain forest (Thanks Discovery Channel)? Who knows. Luckily, I didn't develop a fetish.

Calitri

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> "Mommy, what does 2 girls and 1 cup mean?"

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Wait until these coddled, overtended, infantilized children are finally allowed to grow up and leave home.
The population will drop to zero because they will have never been allowed to learn about reproduction and the only available porn will be made by and for the over 60 crowd.
I can't wait to have to cut my assistant's lunchtime sandwich into little triangles for her.

City_Dater

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Well, with this early exposure to computers and the Internet, hopefully these future bloggers will not make the mistake of posting a Sweet Valley High item to Gawker instead of Jezebel.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> fucking brilliant.

redhooker

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @Richard: SINK.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Much less disturbing than my first encounter with porn. About age 8. After a rainstorm. Pile of porn mags in the ditch that had become a pulpy, illegible medley of naked limbs and genitalia. I still quail a little every time it rains.

AuntPeniston

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> The mothers are right to be concerned . . . about their children reading Naomi Wolf. Especially if they want any of those children to become President.

Smitros

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @Mike_Jahn: Like, you go to the other side of Fourth Avenue and it's the O.K. Fucking Corral?

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> "the ramifications of curiosity are pretty intense in this internet age"

I wish I had known this six months before I blocked my ex on Facebook.

BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> "Do you have any large machetes? No. OK, good. Do you have any boxes under the sinked marked "Yummy-Tasting Poison"? No? Perfect. Do you have an Uncle Frank who always smelled of schnapps and the smoky OTB whose hugs would linger just a little too long? No? Just me? OK, I think Magnificetorium can play with your Melindagatesfoundation."

Richard

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> See what happens when you give your Caribbean nanny a fucking day off?

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> BTW, if that is that kid's future O-face, he's gonna need that internet pr0n 'cause the ladies will not be returning for seconds.

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> GOOGLE HAS NO BEARING ON WHETHER OR NOT THE UNIVERSE IS THE LIMIT snap.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> I'm putting a gun on my baby shower registry. That way when ladies like this call, I'll always have: "Oh, I would love to have Brielle over but we have a gun...sorry"

friend_of_a_friend

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> "Mommy, what is 'SafeSearch,' and can you turn it off?"

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Can we make any inferences based on the information that this Park Slope mom has to ask new friends if they have guns? Is there a dark side to the Slope that we don't know about?

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Park Slopers are ridickeless. Like that picture!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> PS Mom's quoted as saying the kids typed "naked women and men." So, for sake of journo integrity: [www.google.com]

tes666

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> "I always make her put on a blindfold when she takes a bath."

Richard

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Excite excited me back in 1995.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @JessicaLovejoy: Stars & Dykes Forever!: "Five midgets, spanking a man...covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that making love?"

Moff

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> 1. These days, the first thing you learn on the playground in kindergarten is how to clear browser history.
2. They have successfully fetishized forbidden nudity for their children.
3. I really want to meet a Park Slope gun nut.

CrankYank

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> These kids are going to have horrible spelling issues in the future. Nekkid, ugh.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @raphaela: Here's a resource she should have considered: a condom.

Clarence Rosario

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Have her 8 year old daughter google "scary maze" and then allow her to solve the maze. That should stop all future Google searches.

TedCopacabana

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> At least the mom has a healthily progressive attitude, not making a big deal of her daughter's apparent bisexuality.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @raphaela: "Show Mommy on the desktop where Larry Page touched you."

Richard

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> sometimes, while i'm catching up on my favorite A2M sites on the web, my kids sneak into the bedroom and watch over my shoulder. I hate that.

Malegirdle

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> @JessicaLovejoy: Stars & Dykes Forever!: Exactly. Because they'd be totally lost having not seen installments 1-8.

Clarence Rosario

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> That kid's O face is kinda sexxxy.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Don't these little idiots know that the "and" operator is unnecessary?

I mean - it even says it on the screen. Fuckwits.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> I would be kinda proud that my seven-year-old can type and use Google (cap G, Mom).

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Playdate? People really use that word?

Botswana Meat Commission FC

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> Those are some sophistimacated children! I think most kids their age would just type in something like "boobies an thingies," which brings up even less interesting results.

[www.google.com]

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> I reaaaaaalllllllly hope the kids clicked on hit #4.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> the mom is quite upset. Does anyone know a resource where she can talk about what happened to her daughter and how to deal with it? She is trying to keep communication channels open by remaining calm with her daughter but she herself is a mess.

Did Google molest her child?

When I was 5, I found a Hustler magazine on a playground. Rather than being traumatized, I was just confused as to why the lady had on no clothes other than socks and a hat. It's too bad my mother didn't have a resource to turn to, to talk about what had happened to me. Then maybe I wouldn't have this weird sock and hat fetish.

raphaela

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> You know, I'm much more comfortable with this sort of shit when it happens in a Red State and Jesus is somehow involved. The fact of it happening in my city is creepy.

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> OK. There are like 47 problems I have with this lady. I don't know if I can handle it.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> As long as they don't get their teensy hands on Backdoor Sluts 9, everything will be okay.

Jessica Hussein Lovejoy: BRB, getting Rahm'ed

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> [postcardsfromyomomma.tumblr.com] is a resource I'd recommend here.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA["Once Your Children Learn How to Google, the Universe Is the Limit"]]> at least she asks about guns first. priorities, people!

hypocriteoath

]]>