Food Is Not Always As Advertised - Gawker Comments

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

louisev — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:41:35 EDT

@In Other News...: I wouldn't know. I stopped listening to "modern music" in 1981. Er, I'm assuming that's a band.

louisev

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

louisev — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:40:50 EDT

@Trixie from Toronto: hee hee no it's me! I changed back because no one would recognize me.

louisev

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

lawyerlez — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:30:24 EDT

The peas and carrots with that Schlemmergulasch look just like the canned ones that come with the children's plate at every German restaurant. Amazingly, after spending so much time together in the jar, the peas and carrots have exactly the same flavor and texture. And, when my brother ordered a burrito once in Heidelberg, it was a piece of dough filled with the canned peas-and-carrots that was deep fried. [shudder]. My rule of thumb in Germany now is not to eat anything that doesn't come from a bakery or a fruit/vegetable store.

The last one -- the Elsaesser Flammkuchen (Alsatian flatbread) -- we should blame on the French. And I think it's supposed to look more or less like that. It's a piece of pastry topped with onions, bacon and creme fraiche.

Oh, and "no shit, Sherlock" would probably be something more like "Bist Du total bloed und blind oder wat?"

lawyerlez

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Jenelle — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:32:48 EDT

This will no doubt become the basis of some scandalous four night expose on Inside Edition. The Exquiser looks like... plaster?

Jenelle

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

colonelhanky — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 03:21:50 EDT

I can't down German food, it's the last place I ever found Pringle's corn chips.

Yes, corn chips.

colonelhanky

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:28:04 EDT

@frühlingsrolle: So are you saying that Tokio Hotel sound better than they look?

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:26:22 EDT

@Trixie from Toronto: Nope. If and when I change my screenname it shall be "Eurasian Oblong Of Maximum Danger." To impress the ladies of course.

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Trixie from Toronto — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:21:03 EDT

@frühlingsrolle: In Other News? Is that you?

Trixie from Toronto

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

louisev — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 23:15:44 EDT

I changed my nick to the one you couldn't see spelled out: 'frühlingsrolle' - that's the flat unappetizing spring roll in the third pic. To be quite honest, when I lived in Germany I used to buy frozen spring rolls in my local Edekamarkt and they looked a whole lot more like the package photo than the one up there, but then I again - I did buy the expensive ones. The more they cost, the more like the 'actual photo' it gets. And another nice bonus to German food - even frozen food - is that it has a lot less hidden preservatives and dyes than British or American food. I have a lot of allergies and got sick much less often there than I did in America or Britain.

louisev

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:39:19 EDT

@Trixie from Toronto: I see a triad of sausage when I click your profile. Appetizing.

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:38:16 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: One day. The avatar thing takes about an hour to kick in, give or take. I'm already Schlemmergulasch! I think.

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Trixie from Toronto — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:27:20 EDT

@Trixie from Toronto: Sausage test!

Trixie from Toronto

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Trixie from Toronto — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:23:29 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: Oh no! New avatar did not take!!!

Trixie from Toronto

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Trixie from Toronto — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:23:12 EDT

@In Other News...: I'm in! For one day, you say?

Trixie from Toronto

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:21:47 EDT

@BalknChain: But of course!

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Cthulhah Bankhead — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:02:29 EDT

Thanks for the thinspiration, gawker!
Blecch.

Cthulhah Bankhead

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

BalknChain — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:24:38 EDT

@In Other News...: aww, can we all play? I wanna be a gross food too! ha ha

BalknChain

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

HiredGoons — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:20:34 EDT

He probably just used the wrong microwave.

HiredGoons

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:18:57 EDT

@Tippi from Toronto: It's me and you, Toronto. Here we go.

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

HiredGoons — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:18:21 EDT

All it needs is a little salt. Oh wait, it's probably swimming in it.

HiredGoons

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

BalknChain — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:23:00 EDT

Sorry, that fourth one looks more like Myhinderpoomade. Hamilton, as a food geek by trade, I loved this! I think the last one might be school paste. You know the kind your cross-eyed kindergarten playmate would eat every chance they could.

BalknChain

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Nard38 — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:21:01 EDT

I haven't taken German since 6th grade White Supremacy Summer Camp, but I'm pretty sure the first one ("Zwiebel-Hackbraten") means suicide appetizer.

Nard38

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Trixie from Toronto — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:08:39 EDT

@In Other News...: I'm in ... you go first. I am going to go Google image weisswurst immediately.

Trixie from Toronto

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Trixie from Toronto — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:07:57 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: What, you had a problem with pizza topped with fried eggs and canned asparagus?

Trixie from Toronto

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

dagblad — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:04:14 EDT

You have to give them credit. Marketing departments don't really have much to work with when it comes to making this stuff appealing.

Schlemmergulasch? That's the sound boiling mucus makes.

dagblad

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:40:38 EDT

IDEA! For like one day, each Gawker commenter should switch their avatar to one of those German foods. I'll be the Schlemmergulasch. Come on, you know you want to! Go ahead, you start.

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

stpauliegirl — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:39:05 EDT

@mitchel_stevens: No, they meant Consumerist. This same stuff was on their site yesterday. [consumerist.com]

Hey, Gawker Media, some of us read more than just one of your sites, FYI!

stpauliegirl

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:39:04 EDT

@bjonston: It sounds like we're all just guessing at this point. ACHTUNG!!!

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

bjonston — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:31:00 EDT

@In Other News...: "Nicht Sheisser, Sherlock," maybe?!?!?

bjonston

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

SidAndFinancy — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:12:18 EDT

@CaptainFantastic: And congratulations again on the acquittal.

SidAndFinancy

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

CaptainFantastic — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:04:02 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: I spent a summer in Nuremburg and I loved the food! Spatzle rules! It's all comfort food.

CaptainFantastic

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

famousauthor — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:19:05 EDT

I debated between the five options, then decided to get a bag of White Castle hamburgers instead. Buy American, after all, "Support Killing Your Local Cows," and all that.

famousauthor

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

che_leo — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:07:58 EDT

there's nothing quite as appetizing as the aroma of liquid slop chemically bonding to a plastic tray

che_leo

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

kingsquiddish — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:05:12 EDT

if you bought the damn tv dinner the advertising on the box worked!

This is not a German phenomenon.

Now back to filming scat videos

kingsquiddish

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

hamburgerhotdog — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:00:12 EDT

@IndianSlipper: Now THAT I'd like to see!

hamburgerhotdog

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

machupicchu — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:58:22 EDT

It's not fair because he didn't arrange those microwave dinners on a plate like they do in the pictures.

machupicchu

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

fileunder — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:55:31 EDT

@EleanorRigby:
How do you think I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER came to be?

fileunder

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

hamburgerhotdog — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:53:53 EDT

In all fairness, has anyone had a Banquet dinner recently? Trust me: it's not as good as you remember. [heateatreview.com]

hamburgerhotdog

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

IndianSlipper — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:52:49 EDT

Oh wow, this is funny and disgusting all in one. Reminds me of the green hamburger and the hot dog jumping into the bun at the drive in movie.

IndianSlipper

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

VirusWithShoes — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:51:11 EDT

@In Other News...: Correct. Just add some more "ch"'s now and then.

VirusWithShoes

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

fragglewaggle — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:50:54 EDT

@procrastination_state:
I heard the ice cream was mashed potatoes with food coloring. I would think Crisco would turn into a puddle under hot studio lights.

fragglewaggle

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

fragglewaggle — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:48:29 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple:

Amen about the food in Germany (outside of the larger cities, like Frankfurt).

On our last vacation, I got so tired of eating 'wurst' and 'schnitzel' in Germany that I dragged my boyfriend's ass to France for some real food.

fragglewaggle

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

CharlieSays — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:47:14 EDT

That last one looks like hobo puke.

CharlieSays

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:46:29 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: Same goes for Scottish, right?

@beirut: I knew I could count on you.

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

donmiguel — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:46:06 EDT

@JessicaLovejoy: Stars & Dykes Forever!: Seriously? Scat videos? (I spose if you like the scat -- two consenting adults and all that). But together with the food -- let's just say you'd want your woman friend to be absolutely SURE she wanted to date this guy.

donmiguel

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

MyCubeHas3Sides — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:43:37 EDT

Is "Rinderroulade" German for: "I shat in my lederhosen, then packaged it for you"?

MyCubeHas3Sides

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

JorgeLuisGorgeous — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:41:09 EDT

Wait, are we making fun of frozen food or funny sounding German words?

JorgeLuisGorgeous

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

beirut — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:41:04 EDT

@In Other News...: keine scheisee, Sherlock.

beirut

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

surfbeavernsb — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:39:29 EDT

"All this for only 12 Euros"

surfbeavernsb

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

EleanorRigby — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:35:04 EDT

i'm sorry, but they also sell cheeseburgers in CANS:

[www.trekking-mahlzeiten.de]

that's just not right.

EleanorRigby

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

McCheeburger — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:34:32 EDT

Numbers 4 and 5 might entice Chuck Berry.

McCheeburger

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

VirusWithShoes — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:33:05 EDT

@In Other News...: You say "No shit, Sherlock" but in a really crappy faux German accent.

VirusWithShoes

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

VirusWithShoes — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:31:46 EDT

I'm hungry now. I was hungry yesterday, too.

This seems like a regular thing to me.

VirusWithShoes

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

In Other News... — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:29:24 EDT

How do you say "No shit, Sherlock" in German?

In Other News...

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

dortmunder4 — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:28:39 EDT

Frankly, the Zwiebel-Hackbraten looks delicious.

dortmunder4

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Hez — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:27:14 EDT

Those Germans are such scamps, aren't they? You just have to laugh! I remember this one time they had this thing that was packaged exactly like a shower on the outside, but INSIDE...
@richardmarxhatesmyhair: Deutschland püper alles!

Hez

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

bigboybc — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:25:36 EDT

You guys should take a look at NutriSystems if you really want to see false advertising.

Whats on the box, on the website and on all those "home shopping" programs looks nothing like the actual food.

They like to put in very tiny lettering "suggested serving", good luck, you will never get the food to look like the box.

bigboybc

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

fiveinchtaint — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:23:31 EDT

Ze food ist gud yah? You eat it grow big!

fiveinchtaint

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

hamburgerhotdog — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:23:01 EDT

hundefutter

hamburgerhotdog

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Itsjustcatnip — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:21:09 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: I liked most the food I had, but you have to stick to what they do well: Beer, meat and potatoes. This also explains what the population over 30 generally look like.

Itsjustcatnip

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

richardmarxhatesmyhair — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:19:47 EDT

My eyes just got diarrhea.

richardmarxhatesmyhair

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

BobGoulet — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:18:50 EDT

Breaking: Shocking disparity between advertising and reality found.

BobGoulet

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

mitchel_stevens — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:18:39 EDT

@dearheart:
You mean BoingBoing. Duh.

mitchel_stevens

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith, dude. — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:18:18 EDT

He took a break from filming scat videos for this? Worst. German. Ever.

YOU HEARD ME.

JessicaLovejoy: I think God put you here to test *my* faith, dude.

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

disslexic — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:17:00 EDT

Yum! Just like the Schlemmergulasch that Grand-Mama--the S.S. camp guard--used to make.

disslexic

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

procrastination_state — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:15:53 EDT

Fun Fact: studio lights are too hot to photograph ice cream, so usually when they do commercial shoots the "ice cream" is Crisco mixed with sugar and food coloring. And the milk in cereal commercials is usually Elmer's glue.

Either of which would be preferable to a German TV dinner, apparently.

procrastination_state

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

hypocriteoath — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:15:49 EDT

the first two pics confirm what I have always believed: Germans, like zombies, love eating BRAAAAAIIIIINS.

hypocriteoath

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

CodePink — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:14:52 EDT

This is really hysterical. The last one looks so sad. What is that food? Oh, it's so sad!!

CodePink

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Dickdogfood — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:13:02 EDT

But who am I to mock the MMMMM!ness of this food? I subsisted for a year, a year-and-a-half on frozen foods when my mom bought a microwave into the house. I am at least 13% Stouffer's Stuffed Bell Peppers by weight.

Dickdogfood

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

FitnessMadeSimple — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:11:44 EDT

To be fair, real German food is not much better. I once spent a month in Berlin and ate McDonalds and Turkish doners the whole time. I admit, there was an occasional bratwurst from a street vendor...but that's about it.

FitnessMadeSimple

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

dearheart — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:11:44 EDT

Thanks, Consumerist!

Oh, wait...

dearheart

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

tes666 — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:10:48 EDT

this is hilarious. thank you!

tes666

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

lawyergay — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:09:11 EDT

My complete and utter ignorance of the German language has rendered the names of all of those "foods" absolutely hilarious!

lawyergay

Food Is Not Always As Advertised

Dickdogfood — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:09:06 EDT

You forgot an MMMM!

Dickdogfood