This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read - Gawker Comments

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Dorothy — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:55:03 EDT

Don't you have that market cornered?@JorgeLuisGorgeous:

Dorothy

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

HiredGoons — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 02:36:13 EDT

@HiredGoons: Vermont-er. Drunk.

HiredGoons

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

HiredGoons — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 02:35:49 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: As a native Vermont, I completely disown this.

HiredGoons

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Cory — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 02:01:34 EDT

@Disgruntled_Platonist: You mean to say I'm in the minority with that one? Hmm...

Cory

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

nimbyslut — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:52:55 EDT

I was shocked to see a Princeton student wearing a Lycra leopard print shirt. Love those Ivy League bimbos.

nimbyslut

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

kingzilch — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:50:14 EDT

@JorgeLuisGorgeous: "What happened to doing drugs and having unsafe sex? College kids are lame these days."

Our generation pretty well fucked those up for them. Fucking DARE...

kingzilch

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

DirtyProjector — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:43:56 EDT

I happened upon the Middlebury Quidditch team playing an exhibition game at Penn last weekend. The small crowd was a liberal mixture of college kids watching with bemusement and West Philly natives who stood shaking their heads, saying, "damn white kids."

DirtyProjector

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Heisthejuan — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:53:52 EDT

Check to the alumni fund withheld. Diploma to be burned.

Heisthejuan

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Polywhirl — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:24:43 EDT

It's interesting how they don't address how staggeringly stupid Quidditch is as a sports concept.
"We're the chasers. We get the ball, and shoot it through the hoop."
"We're the beaters, we hinder the chasers."
"I'm the keeper, proving this is essentially soccer"
"I'm the seeker, I render everybody else in the game fucking useless."

Polywhirl

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

mitchel_stevens — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:34:15 EDT

@hottherapisttypegrrrl:
wait, you violent people too?
wtf.

mitchel_stevens

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

hottherapisttypegrrrl — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:14:58 EDT

WAIT, WAIT. Aren't those the vibrating brooms? If so, those make me violently Quidditch. Quidditch: Because kids need hobbies.

hottherapisttypegrrrl

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Itsjustcatnip — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:03:30 EDT

@CodePink: That's no excuse. They're pretending they're riding brooms. I could almost accept it if they just didn't have the brooms.

Itsjustcatnip

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Clare — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:55:59 EDT

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: There ARE community-based adult a cappella leagues. My landlord is in one. In exchange for affordable rent, I am strongly encouraged to attend his performances.

These are the concessions one makes to live in a nice house with hardwood floors in a nice neighborhood.

Clare

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

mitchel_stevens — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:50:18 EDT

@Bell County:
and no.
stan lee may be a tired shell of a man, but he gave us spider-man. well, technically. sort of. partially.
oh whatever, fuck stan lee and stripperella.

fine, yes.

mitchel_stevens

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

SheWalkedWithAZombie — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:31:10 EDT

@Disgruntled_Platonist: They also didn't have to go to school with brown people . . . or (in the case of many colleges) girls. Yeah, those were the good old days.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

SeventiesBush — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:25:13 EDT

U are all a bunch of haters, I think this is sooo cute.

SeventiesBush

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

careinthecity — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:23:47 EDT

The length of this clip is kind of the most upsetting part.

careinthecity

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

fiveinchtaint — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:19:08 EDT

If you read, don't look back. I'll be reading the other page.

fiveinchtaint

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Disgruntled_Platonist — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:13:05 EDT

Its depressing to reflect that most members of the "Greatest Generation" had already killed a Nazi at this point in their lives. How's THAT for a fucking extra-curricular activity.

Imagine this lot on Omaha Beach...

Disgruntled_Platonist

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:00:23 EDT

@nevermind_me: Those are two of the most loathsome institutions in these United States.

TheHonJudgeSmails

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Conbon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:57:47 EDT

@nevermind_me: The lax team will take care of that.

(Cringes)

Conbon

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

mitchel_stevens — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:54:16 EDT

@Cheap Shot:
that's only at British primary schools.

mitchel_stevens

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

JudgeFudge — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:53:19 EDT

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: I don't know about Adult community acapella groups...I think most people with a backrgound in acapella move on, get jobs, lead normal lives. At parties they might try and impress their friends with their 'vocal precusion skills' when Sublime's "What I Got" or that "Chicken de China" song by the Barenaked Ladies comes on, but overall I think they lead a completely acapella-free life post college.

JudgeFudge

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Kim Gordon's Panties — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:52:31 EDT

Alternately: NERDS!!!!!

Kim Gordon's Panties

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

donmiguel — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:52:04 EDT

@anotherbadlydressedmidwesterner: I second that reference to the first sentence.

donmiguel

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

StrawBerryShortCake — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:50:54 EDT

what happened to just getting stoned and playing frisbee golf or frolf if you will

StrawBerryShortCake

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Kim Gordon's Panties — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:50:41 EDT

Ok, this is taking nerdcore way too far. These people should be cockpunched.

Kim Gordon's Panties

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

hypocriteoath — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:50:25 EDT

@hypocriteoath: weird your message to smails never posted. stupid internet.

hypocriteoath

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

BullfightsOnAcid — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:49:43 EDT

The penalty box in Quidditch is pretty harsh. You have to sit in it for 10 minutes while somebody reads out loud Harry Potter fan fiction.

BullfightsOnAcid

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

hypocriteoath — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:47:23 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: told you. knew this was coming...

hypocriteoath

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Cory — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:47:19 EDT

@JorgeLuisGorgeous: I was very close to being on of those Quidditch-playing people. As it stands, probably due only to where I go to school, I'm one of the ones doing drugs and having unsafe sex while making fun of the cape-wearing, Quidditch-playing people.

I think Gawker might have contributed a little bit to my development.

But basically, yay drugs and unsafe sex!

Cory

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

sidemouse — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:47:19 EDT

J. K. Rowling should sue those pricks.

sidemouse

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

KarenUhOh — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:46:35 EDT

Due to time and space constraints, next week's match will be held on the archery range.

KarenUhOh

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Bell County — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:46:31 EDT

@Lonesome_George: Maybe they're on Salvia.

Bell County

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

CodePink — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:46:27 EDT

@Conbon: You are right to blame her. Now stop drawing a lightning bolt shaped scar on your forehead with your Mom's eyeliner.

CodePink

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

nevermind_me — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:46:10 EDT

And I chose Duke over Middlebury. FUCK ME.

nevermind_me

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Bell County — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:45:18 EDT

@mitchel_stevens: But let me take this opportunity to say that Stan Lee is an embarrassment.

Bell County

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Itsjustcatnip — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:44:40 EDT

The future is f*cked.

This is not a new revelation.

Itsjustcatnip

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

ohheyhey — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:44:39 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: and then they go through their wardrobe to meet the lion and the witch.

ohheyhey

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

winniemc — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:43:31 EDT

Expecto patronum, bitch!

winniemc

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:43:28 EDT

Quidditch needs a wizard Jackie Robinson.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

FitnessMadeSimple — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:41:53 EDT

After the match, the losers go home dejected, taking comfort in the loving arms of their real dolls. But the winners...the winners hold their heads high and triumphantly return home to celebrate their great victory...er...in the loving arms of their real dolls.

FitnessMadeSimple

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Conbon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:41:25 EDT

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: Some of them go pro.

Conbon

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Ruutuu — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:41:10 EDT

they must get all the babes

Ruutuu

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

JorgeLuisGorgeous — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:40:39 EDT

What happened to doing drugs and having unsafe sex? College kids are lame these days.

JorgeLuisGorgeous

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Conbon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:39:31 EDT

@CodePink: I wanted to write my college app essay on Harry Potter. My guidance counselor wouldn't let me. This was 2001, when only the first three books were available. I blame her for not getting into Hogwarts.

Conbon

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Lonesome_George — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:38:47 EDT

This story is utterly impossible. You cannot play Quidditch without flying.

Lonesome_George

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Cheap Shot — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:38:04 EDT

You guys don't play??? After our 'spellbinding' game we go and have a Harry Potter themed orgy.

Cheap Shot

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

ohheyhey — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:37:36 EDT

please don't tell me they get a varsity letter for this. i can't wait for the day that a resume crosses my desk with "Varsity Quidditch" captain on it.

ohheyhey

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:37:34 EDT

@JudgeFudge:
What happens to a capella singers after they graduate? Are there community-based adult a capella leagues they can join?

Botswana Meat Commission FC

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

CodePink — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:37:01 EDT

One must realize, however, that freshmen at these colleges, like, GREW UP READING THESE BOOKS. They were born in like 1990! The rest of us older dorkwads started reading Harry Potter on the subway in our late 20's.

CodePink

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

anotherbadlydressedmidwesterner — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:36:41 EDT

The first sentence of this write-up is what happens when kids are discouraged from reading and then grow up to be bloggers.

anotherbadlydressedmidwesterner

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Conbon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:35:01 EDT

@Conbon: Magic. Duh.

Conbon

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:34:14 EDT

@JudgeFudge: Wouldn't put it past most Ivies.

TheHonJudgeSmails

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:34:11 EDT

How many of them go to the schools nominated for Gawker's Douchiest Liberal Arts College contest?

Botswana Meat Commission FC

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

Conbon — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:32:05 EDT

How do they make the Snitch fly?

Conbon

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

JudgeFudge — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:31:54 EDT

Well, at least there wasn't an acapella group involved.

JudgeFudge

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

FitnessMadeSimple — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:30:55 EDT

Colleges? Seriously? That wasn't a typo that was supposed to read "65 elementary schools"? Sigh...this is the saddest thing I've ever seen.

FitnessMadeSimple

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:27:13 EDT

This is actually what happens when you send a bunch of not overbright kids to live in the middle of the sticks of Vermont.

TheHonJudgeSmails

This Is What Happens When Kids Are Encouraged To Read

mitchel_stevens — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:24:42 EDT

"Excelsior" ?
Wrong nerd reference, non-nerd.

mitchel_stevens