What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With? - Gawker Comments

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Sweden — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:15:27 EDT

Did anyone say Maddie McCann?

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SuperBien — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 09:38:34 EDT

@Red China's On Fire: No -- I mean Fred Norris. Google him. He is Howard Stern's writer who balances the crass-fest that is the Howard Stern Show with some pretty entertaining work in independent film . . . Chuck Norris??? Give me a fucking break -- he's a tumbling dick weed.

SuperBien

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SW-2 — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:15:50 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: Didn't he win an Oscar last year? Thanks anyway, but I was really hoping for props for name-dropping Yascha Heifetz.

SW-2

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

NeverEnough — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:59:10 EDT

@ChristieLove: I truly dislike Leonard Cohen. Sorry.

NeverEnough

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

riskybusiness — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:35:26 EDT

@gawkimo: be careful, Jesus os a Latin King and he rolls strapped with a burner.

riskybusiness

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Ralph_Macchio — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:20:32 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: It's all about "Ecstasy of Gold", for me, anyhow.

Ralph_Macchio

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

WasatchMan — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:20:14 EDT

Jon Stewart.
John Lennon.
1960's Bob Dylan.
Matt Groening.
Theodore Roosevelt.

WasatchMan

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

MyCubeHas3Sides — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:48:36 EDT

Opus Crocus?

MyCubeHas3Sides

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

FitnessMadeSimple — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:53:16 EDT

@SW-2: ^5 for even knowing who Ennio Morricone is. L'Arena is my favorite song in the entire universe and I consider Morricone one of my top five "bands."

FitnessMadeSimple

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

PimpMyCouch — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:26:22 EDT

Jim Henson.
I second the Michael J. Fox, Christopher Reeve and Patrick Swayze mentions.

What about Angelina Jolie? I mean, despite all the husband-stealing and whatnot, everyone seems to really defend her.

Also: in Vancouver, saying you hate Nickelback is akin to announcing that you hate the baby Jesus and want to eat His head for brunch. I speak from experience.

PimpMyCouch

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Lady Shrimpton — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:03:55 EDT

@SuperBien: I think you mean Chuck Norris

Lady Shrimpton

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SW-2 — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:02:46 EDT

@scroll_lock: Edie McClurg! Thank you!

SW-2

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SW-2 — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:01:49 EDT

Jascha Heifetz
Lauren Bacall
Miss Piggy
Julie Andrews
Edward R. Murrow
Midori
Mort Sahl
Ennio Morriconi
Tom Lehrer
Shamu the Killer Whale

SW-2

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:30:22 EDT

@FORGETITJAKE: Are you forgetting that both the Starland Vocal Band AND the Captain and Tennille had their own TV shows??!

If you don't like my totally random inclusion of Roy Acuff, I'll raise you one Roy Clark (esp when he got plugs and wore a hat for three years till they filled in).

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

the_coast_guard — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:58:42 EDT

Nick, this is a good post - so was that references piece. I've had the same though about Johnny Cash before. I remember hating on him after seeing Walk the Line and before listening to him (I like him now I swear!), and my friends just cut me to pieces.

As for the rest of these, a lot of them draw a lot of obvious criticism. You need someone who a) is cared about and b) never hated on. I thought Albert Einstein was one of the best suggestions (what is there to hate?), but I don't think he fits the "cared about" criterion in the way we're looking for.

Also, with creative figures, you have to be clear about whether you're talking about the work or the person(ality).

It might be helpful to be specific about the category of people defending these reputations. I.e., in my mom's world, Denzel Washington is unassailable (I'm not crazy about him), whereas Johnny Cash would probably draw some "Wasn't he a drug user?" type shit.

That said...

Ol' Dirty Bastard
Prince
Javier Bardem
Spitzer's wife
Harriet Tubman
Bill Watson
Yo-Yo Ma
Notorious B.I.G.
Miles Davis
Neil Young
Kevin Shields

the_coast_guard

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

nyphotog — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:58:03 EDT

Bindi Irwin, though she's cruising for a stingray bruising. That woman in Florida was just a shot across the bow.

nyphotog

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

lawyerlez — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:32:48 EDT

Cat Power. Yeah.

lawyerlez

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Theda_Bara — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:25:34 EDT

@8Millionth: What's this about monkey head transplants? That IS strange......

@Talix18: So wrong but so RIGHT....

Can you hate Mary Louise Parker after that whole being-left-while preggers thing?

Theda_Bara

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

fishwife — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:13:46 EDT

@FitnessMadeSimple: Oh god it is. You're right. Soz.I just love him so much I go to pieces writing "Lucy Stotch, Lucy Stotch" on my exercise books.

fishwife

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Cheap Shot — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:07:34 EDT

Oh, I forgot. Jay Z, Beyoncé and especially Russel Simmons.

Cheap Shot

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

PrincessKashmir — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:06:06 EDT

@Klav: [www.chrisburke.org]
Also see his opus, "Eating is Fun, Eating is Serious." No way this guy's untouchable.

PrincessKashmir

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Cheap Shot — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:05:51 EDT

@gawkimo: I agree with everything you just said. Couldn't come up with others that top those for me.

Cheap Shot

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

FORGETITJAKE — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:04:33 EDT

@scroll_lock: Meet you at Bongo Java.

I think Nick pretty well nailed it with the late John R Cash, the only awesome person who ever had a TV show. No real improvements since then. But how have you, o Scroll_Lock, missed St Emmylou Harris and the by-now-mourned-almost-enough trust-fund hillbilly Gram Parsons?

(That would be worth taking nominations for. The most annoying never-quite-mourned-enough dead young man. Nick Drake, Townes Van Zandt? The vile Jim Morrison?)

But I mean Roy Acuff, come on. That grand ole Nazi has been fed his own deep-fried dermis by everybody from Robert Altman and Nick Tosches.

FORGETITJAKE

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

anarkitty — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:03:49 EDT

I don't like Johnny Cash and honestly don't bring it up anymore to people I know. People are more defensive of him then their mommas.

anarkitty

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

What it is — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:54:18 EDT

so modern apparently doesn't mean living?

What it is

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

FitnessMadeSimple — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:52:35 EDT

@fishwife: Isn't it Leopold Stotch?

FitnessMadeSimple

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

FitnessMadeSimple — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:50:15 EDT

Barry Pepper.

FitnessMadeSimple

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

MyCubeHas3Sides — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:48:24 EDT

Bugs Bunny!
That guy will come back and mess you up, even when in the midst of an ether trip!

MyCubeHas3Sides

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Senor_Wences — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:38:30 EDT

@SnarkTwain:

"Morgan Freeman, you can go to hell."

Haw! Does this joint still have that gift shop or whatever the hell it is, with T-shirts making fun of Park Slope, or whatever the hell that was?

I think you can pretty much fire the staff, execute all the commenters, just sell shirts that say that line, and you'll be rolling in clover.

Senor_Wences

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

gawkimo — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:33:23 EDT

Jesus is actually my favorite person to fuck with, after Muhammad.

Oh and Martin Luther King, Jr? Ever seen that ridiculous family portrait of the Kings all sitting on a bearskin rug with the dead bear's gaping maw? Classy! They had the interior design taste of Ernest Hemingway or your typical NBA player.

Obviously I nominate: nobody, and especially not anyone that would make a list of random celebrity and pop references.

I mean, Brad Pitt? Are you fracking serious? Any A-list celeb that think he's making any major difference whatsoever to people both in Namibia and the Ninth Ward might as well have a fucking dartboard pinned to his ass. (Hint to Brad Pitt: just write the check, OK? Leave it to the experts to figure out what to do with the cash. The Ninth Ward is not your personal performance art gallery and human misery is not an agent for self-promotion. Quietly. In the background. Just give the money. That's how Bill Gates does it. OK, Braaad? Love you as an actor. But as a messiamaniac figure, you're annoying.)

OK, bye.

gawkimo

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Smitros — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:24:14 EDT

Patty Duke.

Kristin Chenoweth.

Smitros

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

DahlELama — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:24:06 EDT

Oh come on, it's all about the one-named do-gooders. Can I get a hell yeah for Oprah and Bono?

DahlELama

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

fishwife — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:21:06 EDT

And, finally, Eric "Butters" Stotch.

fishwife

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:18:48 EDT

@scroll_lock: Benny Hill, awesome!

Monty Python and the Flying Circus
The Black Adder
The Vlasic Stork
Pilsbury Dough Boy
Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man
Slimer
Kim Jong Il
Alec Baldwin
Maximus Decimus Meridius
300
King Leonidas
White Oprah
Buffalo Bill
Kelsey Grammer
Cheers

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

fishwife — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:10:33 EDT

@UnstableMabel: AND DAVID ATTENBOROUGH you go girlfriend (and other unBritish cries of encouragement).

fishwife

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

fishwife — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:04:31 EDT

@lesbiansayswhat: Oh but NO NO Tilda for sleeping in a box "for art" and misusing the word "torpid" when she meant to say "Torrid and morally slightly icky". Although she's a ginge so I'm mildly pro.

As a brit I have to nominate Alan Bennett and Stephen Fry.

fishwife

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:59:41 EDT

@BalknChain:

Underdog
Lancelot Link
Natalie Shaffer
Rebecca Shaeffer
Hannity, not Colmes
Don Ho
Fred Goldman
Gene Siskel (fuck Ebert)
Joanna Carson
Johnny Carson
Carson McCullers
Jerry's Kids
Harry Morgan
Morgan Brittany
Tommy Tune
The original Broadway cast of Hair
Jesus Christ, Superstar
Benny Hill
Benny and the Jets
Joan Jett
Josie and the Pussycats

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

reddy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:57:46 EDT

Neil Patrick Harris

reddy

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

bugupit — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:55:38 EDT

Also ripe for the kikcing:

Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward
Miguel Ferrar
Uma Thurman
Susan Sarandon (minus the politics, don't we all love her?)
The newly sad Michelle Williams
MTM
Ed Asner
Robbie Benson
Rob Thomas (please somebody take him down!)
The Edge
Paul Giametti
Laura Linney
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Morgan Freeman
Jennifer Aniston (WGAS. really.)

bugupit

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:52:45 EDT

@scroll_lock:

Captain Caveman
Stimpy not Ren
The Crow
The Counting Crows
The Black Crows
Blackbirds Baked in a Pie
Blackbeard
The Krakken
Gorgon
Gorgonzola cheese
Pat Sajak
Freddy Mercury
Methuselah
Noah
The Argonauts
The Golden Fleece
Woody and Buzz

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

captivagrl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:48:46 EDT

regis

captivagrl

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:47:51 EDT

@scroll_lock: Gimbels, lovely.

Mrs. Butterworth
Rikki Tikki Tavi
The Good Ship Lollipop
Little Miss Muffet
Flopsy Mopsy
Wile E. Coyote Supergenius
Woolworths
Worf
Levar Burton
Jack Skellington
Anna Scorpio
Cat in the Hat
Sussudio
The Dell Dude
Cialis Bob

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:47:13 EDT

@BalknChain:

Kip Dynamite
LaFawnduh
Uncle Rico
Rico Suave
Puerto Rico
Puerto Vallarta
Valerie Perrine
Adrienne Barbeau
Harper Lee
Harper Collins
Joan Collins
Vodka Collins
Sigfried- but not Roy
Roy Acuff
Tex Ritter
John Ritter
Bruce Villanch
Paul Lynde
Linda Evans
Bob Evans
Patsy Cline
Robert Klein
Calvin Klein
Calvin and Hobbes
Dom DeLuise
Tina Louise

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

bugupit — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:46:13 EDT

@taffy: I was about to say...

bugupit

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

traydon_barter — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:45:44 EDT

Balk's Cock

traydon_barter

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Malarcus — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:44:59 EDT

Pete Doherty, naturally. I recommend at least a 100' separation at all times

Malarcus

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

taffy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:44:27 EDT

Not one mention of Will Smith?

taffy

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

captivagrl — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:42:38 EDT

Jean Stapleton

captivagrl

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

miss_msry — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:41:44 EDT

Jesus.

miss_msry

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

TallulahSkankhead — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:40:40 EDT

Coltrane and all that jazz.

TallulahSkankhead

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:40:07 EDT

@SuperBien: @Sally Tomato: @scroll_lock:

Mr. Miyagi (sp?)
The Time to Make the Doughnuts guy
The Where's the Beef Lady
Teddy Ruxpin
Fred Sanford
Optimus Prime
David Don't Hassle the Hoff
Dire Straits
K.I.T.T.
Napolean Dynamite
Stringfellow Hawk
Magnum PI
Archie Bunker's Meathead nephew
Mr. Peanut
Klinger
Michael Caine
Patrick Stewart
Lou Ferrigno
Xena Warrior Princess
@mitchel_stevens: are you trying to hurt me?

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

McCheeburger — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:38:22 EDT

I would prefer a listicle of the most universally reviled living celebrity.

de mortuis nil nisi bonum

McCheeburger

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

McCheeburger — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:34:17 EDT

@Hamud: Red pencil for Hanukkah. Check!

McCheeburger

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SidAndFinancy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:30:08 EDT

John F. Kennedy
The Ramones
The Wright Brothers (not including that black sheep Silas Wright)

SidAndFinancy

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

WideStanceRomancer — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:29:45 EDT

Choire
Trent [Reznor, not that 'Is The New' guy]
Jake

WideStanceRomancer

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:29:39 EDT

@first2letters: Thanks, I rather liked that one myself.

My Friend Flicka
Nanny OR the Professor
The Blair Witch
Judy Collins
Boxcar Willie
Vivian Vance
Roddy McDowell
Andie MacDowell
Red Buttons
Redd Foxx
Helen Reddy
Reddi Wip
Rip Torn
Tova Borgnine
Kenneth J. Lane
Lane Bryant
Anita Bryant
Bryant Gumbel
Gimbels

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

DonPardoCalrissian — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:27:21 EDT

Do people from the future count? Because then definitely Thorvald of Mars. I hate that sanctimonious fucker.

DonPardoCalrissian

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Garanimal Logic — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:25:02 EDT

@Helman: OMG, me too! Wait, what was the topic of this thread again?

Garanimal Logic

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

automata — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:23:56 EDT

How has Michael J. Fox been missed? He has the sympathy factor of Reeves, photographs better, AND has a better filmography.

automata

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

PickleTitsTurner — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:22:47 EDT

Junot Diaz

PickleTitsTurner

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SuperBien — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:22:30 EDT

@BalknChain: Gratzie! I could go on forever with a list like this . . . Should we start listing our choices of celebs that ARE assailable, or should we wait for Nick to post "What Celebrity Most Deserves To Be Fucked With?"? . . .

SuperBien

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

GeorgeBabbitt — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:21:27 EDT

KarenUhOh

GeorgeBabbitt

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Sally Tomato — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:14:59 EDT

@BalknChain: Oh fuck yes! Sally Starr!!!

Sally Tomato

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

first2letters — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:14:50 EDT

@scroll_lock: Amazing -- I don't think I can top "His Nibs the Earl of Sandwich."

first2letters

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

mitchel_stevens — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:10:54 EDT

@BalknChain:
too late. sir tony's a horrid drunk.

mitchel_stevens

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Helman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:09:12 EDT

@Garanimal Logic: I hate half of these people!

Helman

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Helman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:05:30 EDT

Bob Edwards and Carl Castle.

Helman

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Garanimal Logic — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:04:03 EDT

Harry Caray
Mariah Carey
Drew Carey
Jim Carrey
Carrie Underwood
Carrie Fisher
Carrie (blood-soaked Stephen King version)
Russell Crowe
Sheryl Crow
Cameron Crowe
James Cameron
Kirk Cameron
Cameron Diaz

Garanimal Logic

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Maya Twocents — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:03:28 EDT

Susan B. Anthony
Bob Fosse
Ben and Jerry
Mary Tyler Moore
Dr. Andrew Weill
Art Bell
Dolly Parton
Your nieces and/or nephews

Maya Twocents

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

CaptainFantastic — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:02:03 EDT

Miss Manners

CaptainFantastic

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

CaptainFantastic — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:00:56 EDT

Strawberry Shortcake

CaptainFantastic

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:58:30 EDT

@first2letters: impressive!

Rita Rudner
Dodi Fayed
Emeril
Mort Sahl
Babe Paley
Princess Michael of Kent
Morgan Fairchild
Charlene Tilton
Audrey Landers
Ann Landers
Dear Abby
Abigail Adams
Adam Ant
The Teamsters
Merv Griffin
Butterfly McQueen
John Gotti
The Pips
Pippi Longstocking
Rue McClanahan
Dick Cavett
Mel Torme
Wendy O. Williams
Shoshanna Lonstein
His Nibs the Earl of Sandwich

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

CaptainFantastic — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:56:22 EDT

@Ralph_Macchio: Thank you for that.

CaptainFantastic

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Talix18 — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:54:47 EDT

@Theda_Bara: I don't think it counts as "hating on", but I remember the day I was shopping with Mom and saw Reeve's post-accident autobiography. "Still Me?" I asked. "Of course it's 'still' him. He's paralyzed."

Talix18

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Nard — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:52:35 EDT

Rocky Balboa

Nard

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

sean world mayor — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:52:26 EDT

Prince. Everyone freaking likes Prince.

sean world mayor

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SnarkTwain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:51:32 EDT

@kromelizard: winner! How could I forget the infallible MLK, PBUH?
@Ralph_Macchio: yeah, whatever. John is spelled with an 'h'.

SnarkTwain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

ChristieLove — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:49:19 EDT

It'd be pretty hard to talk trash about Nelson Mandela.

Also, nobody doesn't like Leonard Cohen.

ChristieLove

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

first2letters — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:48:23 EDT

@scroll_lock:

Tom Poston
Chef Paul Prudhomme
Lee Marvin
Katherine Helmond
"Gorgeous George" Wagner
Jolene Blalock
Denver Pyle
The Unknown Comic
Jim Backus
Chaim Potok
Rik Emmett
Jacqueline Susann
Meeno Peluce
Milton DeLugg
Lady Elaine Fairchild
Dat Phan

first2letters

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BaconCat — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:44:12 EDT

No one is going to go there? Really?

*Sigh* Okay, I'll do it:

Patrick Swayze.

BaconCat

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

alcal — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:42:44 EDT

Bruce Springsteen and 2001-present Al Gore

alcal

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

NeverEnough — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:39:55 EDT

Stephen Colbert is God and I distrust anyone who disagrees.

NeverEnough

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:38:12 EDT

@BalknChain: Please let me help you load that bazooka.

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

AirforceAmy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:36:42 EDT

Jennifer Aniston and Tom Hanks

AirforceAmy

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:34:57 EDT

Taylor Dayne
Peter Sellers
Don Knotts
Angela Lansbury
Yanni
Tom Arnold
Meat Loaf
Gallagher
Jim Perdue
Bob Costas
Dead or Alive
Oscar Mayer

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

nanotalent — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:34:54 EDT

US Weekly says "Jennifer Aniston."

I say Tina Fey. You'd have to have a heart as black as pitch to dislike that lady.

nanotalent

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

riskybusiness — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:34:42 EDT

Wesley Willis
Mojo Nixon
Jello Biafra

riskybusiness

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:31:26 EDT

Mary Magdalene
The original Maytag repairman
Gavin McLeod
Darrin McGavin
Gavin Rossdale
Gavin DeGraw
Hank Kissinger
Piglet
Margaret Trudeau
Isabel Sanford
Moms Mabley
Charles Lindbergh
Dick and Perry

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:29:12 EDT

@SuperBien: impressive listicle

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:28:30 EDT

@scroll_lock: I'll give you Shemp, but I get The Mormon Tabernacle Choir hunting license.

The Romneys
Rerun
OJ Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Haley Joel Osmant (sp?)
Right Said Fred
Slinky
Tony the Tiger
Norman Fell
Rip Taylor
Larry the Cable Guy
Jonathon Fitzgerald Page

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:27:48 EDT

Robert DeNiro's mole. However, Sara Jessica Parker's chin wart is fair game.

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SuperBien — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:21:41 EDT

Fred Norris
Rick Astley
Jack McBrayer
Mark Ronson
David McCullough
Pharrell Williams
Grover From Sesame Street
George Clooney
Huey Lewis
Matt Damon
Lily Allen
Kate Beckinsdale
Zoey Deschanel
Paul Giamatti
Charles M. Schulz
Daniel Craig
Albert Einstein

SuperBien

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Goober_Pea — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:21:15 EDT

Bea Arthur.

Goober_Pea

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

VirusWithShoes — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:17:23 EDT

The Prophet Muhammad.

VirusWithShoes

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Cookie Guggleman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:16:46 EDT

Barack Obama

Cookie Guggleman

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Cassieopea — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:13:28 EDT

Jimmy Webb. Everyone has a song they like written by him, and if they hate all his other songs they hell! it's not him singing anyway.

@UnstableMabel: Yes. David Attenborough was everyone's environmental hero from back in the day when it was still cutting edge to not want to skin giant pandas.

Cassieopea

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Helman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:11:10 EDT

Robert Downey Jr.

Helman

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:05:38 EDT

@BalknChain: I respectfully disagree on one: It is officially open season on Shemp.

Also:

Melissa Rivers
Flip Wilson
Kukla, Fran and Ollie
Willie Aames
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Kevin Federline
Nipsey Russell
Joe Namath
Crystal Gayle
The Von Trapp Family Singers
Squeaky Fromme
The entire cast of The Wonder Years
Edie McClurg

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:59:34 EDT

@valarmorghulis: He's the new spokesman for Coca-Cola.

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

valarmorghulis — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:49:02 EDT

@scroll_lock: Fatty Arbuckle

When you don't count that whole career-ruining pedophelia prosecution thing...yeah, totally.

valarmorghulis

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

kromelizard — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:48:32 EDT

Martin Luther King. What do I win?

kromelizard

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:46:16 EDT

@scroll_lock:
Sally Starr
Trigger
Pocahontas
Benji
Henrietta Pussycat
Rainbow Brite
Kermit
Jerry Lee Lewis
Jerry Lewis
Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp
Manny, Moe, Jack
The King
Hamburglar
Tinky Winky
Fonzie
Fozzie

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

scroll_lock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:36:56 EDT

Millard Fillmore
Minnie Pearl
Captain Kangaroo
St. Ignatius
Peter, Paul and Mary
Swoosie Kurtz
Lamb Chop
Fats Domino
Sid and Marty Krofft
Mary Hart
John Dillenger
Fatty Arbuckle
Mason Reese
Lassie

scroll_lock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

8Millionth — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:29:11 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Except maybe for his acting ability. And there was that weird business with him funding monkey head transplants which made me think of the Watermelon Man and Supreme Court Justices living for 200 years on a steady supply of healthy bodies.

8Millionth

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Theda_Bara — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:19:45 EDT

I realize this celebrity is dead, too, but you just can't hate on Christopher Reeves.

Theda_Bara

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

8Millionth — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:09:23 EDT

@Hamud: Yawn! I can't believe I read the whole thing.

Hamud is unassailable.

Brad Pitt, too.

8Millionth

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

MartyPants — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:08:03 EDT

@Hamud: oh. That made me laugh so hard. Tears! I have nothing to add. Just...um...hee heee. The last line was a killer!

MartyPants

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Kila — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:05:05 EDT

@Hamud: wow! way to overthink this! kind of impressive!

jack nicholson.

Kila

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

harvey_wallpaper — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:02:26 EDT

old people charlie rose interviews for the entire hour, generally.

harvey_wallpaper

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Maulleigh — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:51:14 EDT

Tom Waits. Everyone effing loves Tom Waits and while I like a song or two of his, I just don't "get" him.

Maulleigh

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

gawksFromaRock — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:44:10 EDT

Julia Allison...
no..
Mason, Mary's dog

gawksFromaRock

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:35:02 EDT

@raincoaster: Teflon Mobile

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

raincoaster — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:33:46 EDT

Richard Branson. No matter what you say, it doesn't stick.

raincoaster

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

UnstableMabel — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:27:17 EDT

David Attenborough
(I love him, anyway)

UnstableMabel

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:25:17 EDT

Anthony Hopkins

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

lesbiansayswhat — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:22:33 EDT

Tilda Swinton. Has an artist husband and a boy candy and she uses the word 'torpid' when yelling at the paparazzi for asking about it.

lesbiansayswhat

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

spikenard — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:22:05 EDT

Johnny Depp, in a really inoffensive way.

spikenard

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:20:52 EDT

LolCait

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Jenniferhdaniel — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:20:25 EDT

Stevie Wonder can see that someone needs an ass kicking. Next you'll be writing an essay titled, "Billy Graham is a douchebag. I Don't Care What You Say."

I call shenanigans!

But, there's two for you.

Jenniferhdaniel

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

BalknChain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:18:39 EDT

Balk

BalknChain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Cassieopea — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:13:00 EDT

Jimmy Webb. Everyone likes at least one of his songs, and if you don't- then it wasn't even him that sung it, so whatevs.

Cassieopea

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Helman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:08:23 EDT

Meryl Streep is a good one. Paul Newman is up there, too.

Helman

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Klav — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:40:00 EDT

@guitarsnob: I don't know about that...my younger brother refers to mentally-disabled people as "Corks," as in Corky from Life Goes On. Lovely.

Klav

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

fishwife — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:37:21 EDT

Bert and/or Ernie.

fishwife

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Ralph_Macchio — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:35:28 EDT

@SnarkTwain: Jon with no "h" is short for Jonathan ("gift of god"), which isn't a variation of John, but rather a longer version of Nathan ("gift").

Ralph_Macchio

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Ralph_Macchio — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:28:58 EDT

Mr. Rogers is a good guess, except, of course, for his unfortunate past associations with JA and, especially, those who spawned her.

Ralph_Macchio

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

azoth — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:18:27 EDT

sean young?

oh wait ...

azoth

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

holdenfunk — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:43:05 EDT

My top ten are:
10. Morgan Freeman
9. Princess Diana
8. Walter Payton
7. Johnny Carson
6. Richard Pryor
5. Deniro
4. Caroline Kennedy
3. Billy Graham
2. Bill Murray
1. Chris Farley

holdenfunk

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

raincoaster — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:38:18 EDT

St. Oprah.

raincoaster

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

UnstableMabel — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:17:00 EDT

@guitarsnob: Such a shame Stephen's second wife, Elaine the basher, did not share the sentiment.

Mick Jagger?
'Dear Leader' Kim Jong-il?
Robert Mugabe?

(I know...not very funny...it's been a long day in Mabelland)

UnstableMabel

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

En Vague — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:32:45 EDT

Muhammad Ali

En Vague

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

CreativeUnderclass — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:53:09 EDT

Clooney? Justin Timberlake? Bill Murray? I give up.

CreativeUnderclass

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

guitarsnob — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:36:03 EDT

@Hamud: whoa. Someone's still pissed about all that dog video nonsense.

guitarsnob

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SnarkTwain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:21:39 EDT

@guitarsnob: ditto on the Dalai Lama. Also, fuck Jon Stweart with the h his name is missing. Morgan Freeman, you can go to hell, and take Tim Gunn with you.

SnarkTwain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Hamud Ibn Hamud — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:08:31 EDT

Since you can't bother to explain why you "just don't like" Johnny Cash, it's impossible to identify the particular gauntlet you're throwing down.

"You can't criticize the man in public."

I don't understand what this sentence could possibly mean.

Cash died in 2003.

Are you trying to say that Rosanne or another surviving member of the family would somehow try to physically restrain you from "criticizing" Johnny Cash?

Why would they do this? How would they do this?

There's also another issue, one you don't quite address.

Why would any criticism you might make of Johnny Cash necessarily rise to the level of public concern?

Hamud Ibn Hamud

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

guitarsnob — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:06:23 EDT

PS, Douglas: I love the Stephen Hawking picture. That's so the first place I would go.

guitarsnob

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SnarkTwain — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:05:26 EDT

Uh, cherubic friends of The Hills cast?

SnarkTwain

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

guitarsnob — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:04:56 EDT

Mary Lou Retton, the Dalai Lama, and that kid from Life Goes On.

guitarsnob

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

RevHalofan — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:03:49 EDT

The Dalai Lama and Denzel Washington.

RevHalofan

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Nick Douglas — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:54:06 EDT

Come on, you lot can do better. Maybe Tom Hanks, but Dylan is too easy to parody, Radiohead way way way too attached to hipsters.

Nick Douglas

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Tony the Tiger IS BACK — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:51:10 EDT

HEIDI MONTAG! Team Heidi! Yay!

Tony the Tiger IS BACK

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

guitarsnob — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:49:45 EDT

Elliot Yamin and his mom.

guitarsnob

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

JoelTannenbaum — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:48:01 EDT

Hmm. Good question. George Clooney seems to be universally beloved. And for some reason beyond my comprehension, Natalie Portman often seems to be beyond reproach. If you can get a free pass for "Kiss me like you did on Naboo," you can pretty much do anything...

JoelTannenbaum

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

Aero — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:47:57 EDT

@SeaBassTian: Whatevs, it's always been appropriate to rag on Bob Dylan.

Radiohead.

Aero

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

rex — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:45:56 EDT

Denton.

rex

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

SeaBassTian — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:42:31 EDT

I love to topple sacred old cows... Especially baby boomer icons like Bob Dylan.

SeaBassTian

What Celebrity Had No One Ever Better Fuck With?

gooshwa — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:41:51 EDT

Tom Hanks. He's just good old fashioned awesome.

Or, Paris Hilton, oh wait thats meant to be for the post "who's the most assassinatable modern celebrity"

gooshwa