<![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend? - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend? - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> The visual of it all is just too much....Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away....

saralapua

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> He's svelte. With being fat and all. So thin....

munkles

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> And all across America, bi-curious bloggers begin to unzip their pants....

JoelTannenbaum

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Perez still looks like a fat fuck to me.

Gregory_of_Nazianzus

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Could this possibly be for that new show where celebrities punk the paparazzi? I refuse to believe that John Mayer touched lips with that....thing!

Falice

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> I always thought Mayer was a mildly talented, much overrated cheseball, but to go from (gag!) Jessica Simpson to (triple gag!) that bushpig Perez Hilton... it's called dignity, John. Get some. Now. Seriously.

ge90036

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> eeew, just plain gross.

Molly O'Poverty

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> i love ashton kutcher too :(

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> I'm just not into douche-o-sexuals.

CrankYank

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Ashton Kutcher. Pop Fiction. Barf. [gunshot. sweet release.]

NattyLite

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Oh come on Richard. I don't think in anyone's wildest imaginations does Perez not "look too bad." He's still fugly.

yourfriendandneighbor

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @moff: NOICE.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> This reeks of Ashton's new show.

rockwillnotdie

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Honestly, I though Perez had better taste than that.

BGGA

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @allyzay: Let's be thankful that not everybody... has got a body like Perez.

Ugh this is so gross and I refuse to believe it. I don't care if John Mayer makes out with dudes, I would just hope he'd make out with attractive ones. Come on!

idratherbesailing

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> This just confirms that John Mayer is definitely a boob man.

PopElegantiarum

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> I wonder if Perez just got out of a K hole and thinks it's April 1.

Steverino

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain: @IndianSlipper: guys! it's just called "faith"!

+ Watch video

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Spirit Fingers: right, but is the line in the song Gotta Have Faith. Also, give me a new song to have stuck in my head. ugh

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @CodePink: Oh, probably Miley Cyrus.

(WHAT?)

moff

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> THAT'S ENOUGH, JOHN MAYER.

hummingpenguin

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain: @IndianSlipper:

Note from an 80's expert...it is just "Faith".

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @IndianSlipper: hey pumpkin!
Is it Gotta Have Faith? It's stuck in my head now..


BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> The world wants to know what they were doing with their hands during the kiss.

TedCopacabana

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> How ironic that as I read this, my neighbor is blasting George Michaels "Wanna Have Faith".

IndianSlipper

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain:

Well, I'd been that same damn drama mask for three millennia. Figured it was time to try something fresh.

That, or gouge my own eyes out and go into exile.

Elektra

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Trixie from Toronto: i think i just have a thing for dumbasses.

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> I believe anyone willingly making out with Perez Hilton is a sign of the approaching apocalypse.

tominjersey

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Elektra: the lil peg game/IQ test at Cracker Barrel said I's an eggnooramoose

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain: nucular..

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @scroll_lock: It's nuular ya idjit! Fool me once shame on..shame on..well, you can't fool you twice.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Maybe your hatred for John Mayer has only been waning because he hasn't been releasing albums of late? I, however, am a JM hater 4 LYFE.

DigitalVersicolor

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Elektra: change your look?
p.s. yeah, you should be sick over that *giggles*


BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain: Well, the nookyalur plant's proximity explains your inability to blink in unison or to pronounce the word "sequestered".

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @allyzay: I LOVE Johnny Knoxville, don't get me wrong. However, I have sadly had a thing for hot bad boys all my life.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Mayer dreaminess aside, standing that close to Perez must violate some sort of decency code or at the very least smell a little like sweat socks and moist scrotum.

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @scroll_lock: Wow! The Jim Nabors-Rock Hudson rumour! Remember that? Those were heady, heady days, pardon the pun.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @moff: Thank you, Moff. And now: who is your guilty pop star pleasure (for sexy time, not music)?

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain:

And it's now a Winter Wonderland!

[projectile vomiting as I type]

Elektra

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> I mean really, what is more shocking here is how many times Perez has been referred to as "skinny" or even mildly "good looking"......ick

What it is

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Trixie from Toronto: no one insults johnny knoxville in my presence. NO ONE!

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @moff: ha!@scroll_lock: I took my Potassium Iodide pill (yes, I live that close to a nuclear plant, expalins so much)and a Cipro and washed 'em down with bourbon. It's all I had.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Trixie from Toronto: Hey, you're up to your old Trixie again! (although the doll avatar for Tippi was too cute)

This is too much like the sickening ancient rumor about Jim Nabors and Rock Hudson. (not that I'd equate Mayer with Hudson, of course, just talking about the level of bile generated)

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Richard & CodePink: Yeah, actually he's pretty dreamy.

moff

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @CodePink: for real though a road trip with him could be amazing, one mile for every inch....yes please!

or come to think of it that might be a quick trip depending......Mr Mayer any time you want to prove yourself I am ready and waiting

StrawBerryShortCake

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @moff: Handsome is handsome is handsome sometimes, brother.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @moff: Um, you've met me. There's really no better I can do.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @scroll_lock: Please courier one my way. Honestly, I feel nauseated just imagining this.

And poor Jessica Simpson. She boned a guy who has sucked face with Perez Hilton. That makes Johnny Knoxville, by comparison, seem like Lloyd Dobler.

Trixie from Toronto

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @BalknChain: Too late, upon picturing anyone making out with Perez, I broke the glass on the emergency cyanide capsule I've been keeping for just such an occasion. Is it getting dark in here?

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: I agree. You can do better, Richard.

@CodePink: Some of us have higher expectations for others than we do for ourselves, mostly because of the terrible things our mothers said to us when we were little.

@BalknChain: And the demons are ice-skating!

moff

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> The only thing this proves is that John Mayer is indeed a publicity whore.

Feh Am Legend

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Aatom: Or necrophilia?

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Relax, Richard, this is from the man who had inside knowledge of Castro's secret death before Castro himself. The gossip sites are jonesin' for quality scandal of late, so Perez is forced to generate it.

WideStanceRomancer

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Richard: Yes he is looking better but - oh fuck it - I have to do my taxes and you are just tempting me into some sort of temptation thing...that siren song...

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @StrawBerryShortCake: He's gonna bust out my double doors, tell you that right now.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @valarmorghulis: It's a trick question because she doesn't know how to get a "picture-thingy" when the screen is dark and Daddy and her assistant aren't around.

IHateWhatYouHaveOn

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Why would anyone want to makeout with that thing? I call shenanigans. Someone's getting punk'd.

ineffable.me

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Richard: He used to be legitimately skinny, long ago in land far away called Manhattan. Amazing how much weight he gained moving to LA

@NinaHagen: And probably out of them too.

SchmatSchmaymon

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @collegecallgirl: Oh sorry. Meant that for NinaHagen.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Richard: Even if he took another 30% off, I still wouldn't buy it. But, okay. Sveltesque.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @CodePink: I would like John to run the halls of my high school till I scream at the top of my lungs

StrawBerryShortCake

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Richard: I was agreeing with you!

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]>

+ Watch video

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @MattGaymon: Also possibly lurking in John Mayer: Perez's chipped nail polish.

I think John's just a guy trying to get bi. Curious?

Nard

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> How about this for a theory? John Mayer was out of his mind on drugs?

Hortense de Beauharnais

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> so when's the porno comin' out

businesspearl

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> John Mayer looks a little bit like Marc Anthony in that first picture.

Richard, did I sufficiently turn you off him with that observation?

PimpMyCouch

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Itsjustcatnip: For once Jessica Simpson's tits realize they have competition.

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @MattGaymon: Don't go there - no one looked better in leather pants than Jim Morrison.

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @collegecallgirl: @BettyCrocker: You guys HAVE seen what he looked like before, right? Take a look back and you'll agree that "svelte-ish," while maybe a relative term, definitely works in this case.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Those pics of Perez and John are apparantly from Dec 31 2006.... lame.

AnderBobo

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Itsjustcatnip: This is a trick question. I could tell by the "again."

valarmorghulis

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> well, richard, on the bright side:
you still are closer (geographically) to mayer than perez. just stalk pinkberry.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Perez has the Frau Blücher thing going - "He was my....BOYFRIEND!"

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Do you think maybe lurking in John Mayer there is a little Jim Morrison? I'm just THROWING THAT OUT THERE

SchmatSchmaymon

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @CodePink: @Bell County: I don't know what to say.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @businesspearl: Hey, I love me some overweight goth girls. Just pointing out that Perez looks ilke one.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @Itsjustcatnip: Until actual chicken comes from the sea.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Isn't making out with Perez more like bestiality?

Aatom

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> ooh look, Hell's here

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Without clear and irrefutable evidence of penetration, this is just a gag to appeal to Perez's college girl audience and to make John look hip, which he's like so totally not.

How better to erase the stain of a Jessica Simpson that to play-boink Mario?

It's like the whole relationship George meets independent George.

A George divided against itself cannot stand!

McCheeburger

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @NinaHagen: I think by "svelte" Richard meant "Shrek."

Nard

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @collegecallgirl: Right? Top of the muffin to ya!

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Is John Mayer bi now? This just proves my theory that the only people who can be bisexual are women and famous men.

toomuchawesome

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @collegecallgirl: Yes maybe we DO actually have a chance with John Mayer. . . Oh dreams they really do come true.

businesspearl

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> How long will J Simpson stare at her computer screen with her mouth open before she is able to "think" again?

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @NinaHagen: If by "svelte" Richard meant "pudgetastic", then yes.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @NinaHagen: Nope, that's what "svelte-ish" looks like.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Oh, Perez. Your body is a wonderlandmine.

Dickdogfood

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Who's next for John? The "Guanabee My Friend" dude?

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: If he's good enough for Doree and Balk...

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> OR...John Mayer is in that wobbly-legged newborn foal phase of coming out when you make some, um...bad decisions? I'm just taking a total shot in the dark here...I wouldn't know anything about that personally.

lawyergay

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Is this a Pop Fiction stunt?

Koreanish

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @collegecallgirl: Or with Perez.

Koreanish

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: He's handsome. And a decent guitarist. Also a d-bag. But you dig on female versions of d-bags sometimes, I bet. I'm not defending Richard. I'm defending myself. I'd like for John Mayer to wonderland me.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> That lube has gone to his head.

So that's what "svelte" looks like?

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Oh, Richard. John Mayer is the worst. Please don't fail me.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> @EleanorRigby: Or preparing to smell his finger.

Tnuc

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> Overweight goth girls across America now believe they have a chance with John Mayer.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> This just confirms my suspicions that everyone is gay.

JinxyMcDeath

]]> <![CDATA[How Did Perez Hilton Steal My Boyfriend?]]> He's pointing to where he feels a cold sore coming on.

EleanorRigby

]]>