Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man - Gawker Comments

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

famousauthor — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:35:03 EDT

Is beep-boop music anything like heep-hoop? You know, like Kanye East?

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

rainmkr — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:49:05 EDT

Moby ruled at Ultra a few weekends ago... and the guy didn't shy away from my 6'8 ogre-frame when I asked for a pic with him at an after party in Miami. Thumbs Up!

rainmkr

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

McCheeburger — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:04:11 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein: While I don't normally go about the business of envisioning men's penises...

Oh, do me next, please!

McCheeburger

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Chaim Gnadelstein — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:48:28 EDT

While I don't normally go about the business of envisioning men's penises, it occurs to me that Moby's penis might just in fact resemble a smaller version of his head. In sort of a Cronenberg, or "How To Get Ahead In Advertising", type way.

Chaim Gnadelstein

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

lothario — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:28:02 EDT

Damn. My identity has been revealed.

lothario

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Smirk — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:15:19 EDT

Moby is so stupid. Next time I meet him he's going to have to remind me that his eyes "...are up HERE!" Of course, my barb-wire coat and pants will only add to the fun of the evening...

Smirk

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

drugman — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:12:25 EDT

When dating/comparing your sexual acumen, it's less than wise to pull Tommy Lee Jones out of the closet. He was in Lonesome Dove, for chrissakes.

drugman

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Martita — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:11:50 EDT

@seejanewrite: He also divulged in an interview in the 90s, I believe with Spin, his techniques for coaxing a woman into anal sex. So I'm thinking you probably shouldn't be insulted. You know, unless you're looking for more of a "tap" than a "brush."

Martita

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

seejanewrite — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:48:19 EDT

Should I be insulted that Moby didn't attempt to brush me with his penis that time I met him at Lollapalooza in the 90s? Because I so am.

seejanewrite

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Helman — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:27:16 EDT

@Johnny_boy: That is completely disgusting. (Also -- nice memory!)

Helman

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

econdave — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:19:34 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein: That's acetaminophen (Tylenol). (I typed that first without checking the spelling, and got about 80% of the vowels wrong.)

econdave

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

javysan — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:12:27 EDT

Um, am I actually the only one that likes him? Fun shows!

Also, I wouldn't mind letting him touch me with his knob. As long as I get to go up to the dj booth and spin my ipod afterwards.

javysan

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Chaim Gnadelstein — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:09:25 EDT

@CaptainFantastic:

Isn't Aspirin, in combination with alcohol, supposed to fuck up your liver?

Chaim Gnadelstein

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Johnny_boy — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:08:50 EDT

@SnarkTwain:
All in a day's work for everybody's favorite bald midget 50 year old vegan techno-raver sensitive pervert.

Johnny_boy

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:04:35 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein:
Depends on the drunk level. but normally thomas jane.

dolph lundgren is reserved for when i drink top shelf. and manage to find my VHS copy, which only happens when i'm utterly hammered.

mitchel_stevens

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

CaptainFantastic — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:03:46 EDT

Hangover ingredients:

At bar:
+When you order your last drink of the night, order it "...and a water."

Before bed (as you can manage):
+As much water as you can drink
+Aspirin
+Full glass on nightstand (drink whenever you take a leak, turnover,etc.)

Next day (as available):
+Continue water consumption (or Gatoraide, or equivalent)
+Aspirin
+Good pot
+Greasy food (eat as soon as possible after waking)
+Coffee or espresso
+bj

CaptainFantastic

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

SnarkTwain — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:01:33 EDT

@Johnny_boy: and he wonders why people beat him up. I can think of no hangover worse than the reality of waking up in bed next to that naked mole rat.

SnarkTwain

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Goober_Pea — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:47:18 EDT

@mitchel_stevens: The key to the quarter pounder is to eat it before you (either voluntarily or involuntarily) go to sleep.

Goober_Pea

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Johnny_boy — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:47:17 EDT

[archive.salon.com]

Above is the link to the story about how Moby likes to brush his penis against women's backsides at parties.

See I was not lying. I have a fucking amazing memory.

Johnny_boy

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:35:29 EDT

@mitchel_stevens:
note to self: make "weekdad" a reality.

mitchel_stevens

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Chaim Gnadelstein — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:35:29 EDT

@mitchel_stevens:

Dolph Lundgren or Thomas Jane?

Chaim Gnadelstein

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Fuzzy_duffel_bag — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:34:24 EDT

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: That is basically my rule for everything.

Fuzzy_duffel_bag

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

raincoaster — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:34:14 EDT

Teany of course sells a "hangover breakfast" touted loudly in interviews and the book. Which, apparently, Moby doesn't bother to eat.

raincoaster

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:30:56 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein:
my trick: if drinking on weekdad, take a pint glass. fill it with ice. half with $5 whiskey. half with soda.
stir.

serve. continue until you find yourself watching the punisher. go to bed.

weekends:
repeat "weekday" but add in beer at some point. coney island ale or brooklyn. and then watch the punisher again.

mitchel_stevens

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

McCheeburger — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:29:10 EDT

@McCheeburger: Correction: Not Go but rather God Moving Over the Face of the Waters from the movie Heat.

Sorry, people, this is the result of my having shitty tags on my iPod.

Play through.

McCheeburger

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BaconCat — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:29:03 EDT

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: *Dancing*

BaconCat

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:27:41 EDT

@Fuzzy_duffel_bag: pizza before, water after

if_i_only_had_a_heart

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:25:15 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein:
Drinking water before you pass out is the ultimate preventative medicine. The problem is that most drunkards have doublesight, not foresight.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

xboxishuge — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:25:05 EDT

Well, at least he's a roaring drunk, which makes Moby just a little bit less uncool in my eyes.

xboxishuge

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:24:35 EDT

@Goober_Pea:
the dunkin donut omelet deluxe with bacon on a everything bagel, my friend.

and on the way to work. while horrifying your fellow passengers with its' incredible goodness.

mitchel_stevens

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:24:05 EDT

@BaconCat:

Untz-Untz-Untz-Untz (stab) Untz-Untz-Untz-Untz (drum fill) Untz-Untz-Untz-Untz (blues sample) Untz-Untz-Untz-Untz (blues sample)

Botswana Meat Commission FC

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:23:41 EDT

@Nic Fit: i know! why? xxoo

if_i_only_had_a_heart

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Fuzzy_duffel_bag — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:22:58 EDT

@Goober_Pea: Seriously, a quarter pounder will cure what ails ya. Not so much with the Big Mac. I guess it's greasier? I don't suppose they make a vegan Royale with cheese, though.

Fuzzy_duffel_bag

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Chaim Gnadelstein — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:22:34 EDT

@mitchel_stevens:

My trick is: if it's drinking on a weeknight, then it's vodka soda only. You're taking in three parts soda for every one part alcohol, so it's less of a diuretic overall. Then, before bed, down two pints of water or so. The hangover from this, if any, is minimal the next morning at 7 AM.

If it's a weekend, it's all beer and Jack, and then you're just fucked, hangover-wise. Lemon Gatorade, grilled cheese and bacon and drawn blinds until you go out in the evening and do it again.

Chaim Gnadelstein

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BalknChain — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:19:38 EDT

Moby, the other white meat.

BalknChain

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Nic Fit — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:17:26 EDT

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: "Go" was a pretty hot record in the ecstasy haze of the early nineties...

Nic Fit

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BaconCat — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:16:45 EDT

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: Heyyyyy, why'd you stop?

BaconCat

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Goober_Pea — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:15:25 EDT

@mitchel_stevens: Lemon-Lime Gatorade is Gods gift to boozehounds everywhere.

That, and the quarter pounder with cheese.

Goober_Pea

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:09:11 EDT

why was moby ever cool even for 1 minute? when the "play" album came out, i was like, people, this is fake mashedup roots music with some noise over it, don't want

if_i_only_had_a_heart

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

In Other News... — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:08:42 EDT

@BettyCrocker: He's already recorded it. :-)

In Other News...

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

McCheeburger — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:06:59 EDT

What a wuss. Xanax and water?

OTOH, I really do like Go.

[blush]

McCheeburger

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BettyCrocker — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:03:55 EDT

@In Other News...: I love you. That really made my morning.

BettyCrocker

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Sally Tomato — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:59:09 EDT

After reading this profile, it's no wonder Eminem beat the shit out of him.

Sally Tomato

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Calitri — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:57:33 EDT

@BettyCrocker: Also, I believe it's an underdeveloped cumquat.

Calitri

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

mitchel_stevens — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:55:27 EDT

moby's wrong. it's all about a tall bottle of powerade, a cool soothing floor and putting up sheets in the windows.

that's a hangover cure.

mitchel_stevens

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Fuzzy_duffel_bag — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:55:00 EDT

@Johnny_boy: Knob Touch!

Fuzzy_duffel_bag

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

In Other News... — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:53:53 EDT

@BettyCrocker: By the time he's done with it, it sounds more like

Eee!
BUH-BUM BUH-BUM
Eee!
BUH-BUM BUH-BUM

(Greek female chorus)

(Electric harp)

(Refrain from obscure juke house blues recording made on paper and waffles x8)

Eee!

In Other News...

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Calitri — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:53:29 EDT

@BettyCrocker: Those aren't my keys.

Calitri

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

smartastic — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:52:17 EDT

@Johnny_boy: yeah, what?

smartastic

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Helman — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:51:10 EDT

@Johnny_boy: What??? If true, link please!

Helman

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

In Other News... — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:50:59 EDT

@BettyCrocker: Heh!

In Other News...

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

In Other News... — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:50:27 EDT

There's a myth that he's a glamorous lothario? Stop.

In Other News...

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Johnny_boy — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:49:47 EDT

Remember when he revealed that he likes to walk around at events with his penis sticking out of his zipper, and brush his penis against women?

Johnny_boy

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BettyCrocker — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:47:54 EDT

@Calitri: And! Is that an orange pepper he's fondling, or an underripe tomato?

BettyCrocker

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Calitri — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:44:06 EDT

@BettyCrocker: It's not the bed. Also, the call is coming from inside the house.

Calitri

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

SnarkTwain — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:38:28 EDT

Moby: the world's first self loathing straight white man. It's okay mobes, (do you mind if we call you mobes?): I loathe you too.

SnarkTwain

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

TheHonJudgeSmails — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:38:01 EDT

Hey, Moby: try taking a few more Xanax and never waking up!

TheHonJudgeSmails

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:36:35 EDT

It's not beep boop music, it's untz-untz-untz-untz music.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BaconCat — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:35:59 EDT

I din't actually find this too irritating or tmi. Ihalf-expected to hear tales of going to Toyland with strange Czech girls he picked up at newark airport while on a houston szyzurp bender...

BaconCat

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

BettyCrocker — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:35:28 EDT

I bet he makes mouse noises during sex. "Eee! Eee!"

BettyCrocker

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Helman — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:32:22 EDT

As irritating as Moby can be, I am in complete agreement with his hangover remedy. It is the only thing that works, aside from Bloody Marys.

Helman

Moby: Lothario, Alcoholic, Special White Man

Calitri — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:31:44 EDT

The deli - source of all my Russian hangover medicines and strange women.

Calitri