<![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]>

I believe that this is what everyone wants to see...

Kevin's MySpace:

[www.myspace.com]

Fofofofo

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]>

i presume this has already been sent to [www.passiveaggressivenotes.com] it should be. stat. classic.

washwords
[washwords.wordpress.org]

washwords

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> This is the person I'd like to vent all of my rage on today. Preferably with a metal bat.

narymary

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @hypocriteoath: That kid would have been the president of the WSA in his time, and also led a protest against use of [insert dastardly product here] at Weshop.

tell Dolly Parton again

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> join a prostitution ring if you want your fair share.

HumanTorch was denied a bank loan

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Oh, I get it, HE gets the kickball money, they get the margarita money. OK, so he should buy a margarita machine, idiot.

Also - which of his many special lady friends will get to go on vacation with him? I'll bet they're lining up....

shag_carpet_bomb

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> One week of kickball > one hour of margarita machine. Well, just leave the damn margarita machine on for 3 hours and kick this dufus to the curb. (did I do that math right?)

shag_carpet_bomb

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> He is that kid in the arcade that demands first dibs on the machines because he set the high score.

popture

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I will not sleep tonight wondering if in fact Scott conquers or concurs with the perception. It really could go either way.

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> The tone sucks and he's an idiot to put it in writing, but I don't think he's wrong to ask for a little love/commission from the bar he brings so much hiptard business to.

mitchgetmybunny

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @hypocriteoath: Holla, Cardinals, the most ferocious of all the robin-sized birds!

BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> How dare these people guilt-trip this young entrepreneur about money they have loaned him??? He is clearly on his way to being the next Richard Branson. They should get on board at the ground floor! Ingrates.

SarahMcL

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> "All the beer I bring to the field is a service beneficial to you, as it wets the players whistles and makes them go back to the nest for more."

The thought process behind that statment, combined with the fact that he seems to have as many booze-related demands as monetary demands, leads me to believe that this guy has bigger problems to worry about than kickball.

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @BK_KT: you knows it. ooh, Vassar. good call.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @valarmorghulis: "be a self-important, entitled hipster-douchetard"? No, I don't think Ru ever said that.

Your Sister-in-law's Baby Cousin Traci

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> kev,

are you out of your mind? no one goes to mccarren to watch you get revenge for those days in elementary school when you were the last kid picked. no one is going to turkey's nest as an act of appreciation for your kicking a fucking ball on a softball field. people go to mccarren to make fun of you while enjoying delicious beverages, if it weren't for the nest you would have no audience.

mccarren is a dirt box. a dirt box that i love, but a genuinely un-enticing area. without the glory that is the nest you would be sitting in a dirt box kicking a rubber ball at a chain link fence all by your lonesome.

fuck you.

slimysequins

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> like RuPaul said, "You gotta..."

valarmorghulis

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @triplethreat: unintentional performance art

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> He's not some hipster kid, he's like 38, right?

I'm going to assume this was performance art.

triplethreat

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @hypocriteoath: Nah, he's prolly some Vassar dork. JK! I kid bc I love.
Did you go to Wes?


BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @The Dewd: Every rose has its Douglas.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> WTF, it seems like I went to a clubbing one saturday night, and the next day all these dorky white kids were calling themselves hipsters and claiming that suck was the new cool.

djdavetrouble

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @BK_KT: no, there weren't and frisbee huckers weren't nearly as self-important as this kid. However, couldn't you see some kid from Wesleyan moving to W-burg and getting super serious about kickball and soul of the game, as well as drinking for free and being deemed important? It wasn't the game that was important, just the assholery of it all that stuck out. to me.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @Hez: I was actually thinking Tommy Flag was more of the Douglas of this story.

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I think everybody should phone The Nest, demand laminated free drink cards and dilute the hell out of his "brand".

Also, I believe there is now a paparazzi bounty on the first photo of Kev. Although, let's be real here - he's a lot of things, but he's no motherfucking Douglas.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @JessicaLovejoy: Boosh and/or Kakow!: they're also obviously not aware that thousands of "young professional" douchebags play adult kickball every Thursday night in this country, followed by a spirited round of keg stands at the local bar. Sounds like someone stole their irony.

I Think It's A Pomeranian

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Also: STOP PLAYING SO MUCH KICKBALL AND GET A GODDAMN JOB, HIPPIE.

moff

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> PleaseKevinpleaseKevinpleasepleasepleaseseethisandemailGawker.

moff

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> "It's putting your kids and Val's through college, not that your daughter will need it"

Um, because she's already got a full kickball scholarship or because she's afraid of becoming a kickball-playing douchebag? I'm so confused.

seejanewrite

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Sounds like the Nest will be getting rid of that unpaid and delusional middleman ASAP.

TedCopacabana

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @A_Mere_Wisp_of_a_Lad: Are we really still at the point where we need more reasons to dislike hipsters?

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I agree with him wholeheartedly when he says "people think I'm a chump".

harumph

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @A_Mere_Wisp_of_a_Lad: Seriously. Only they could take what could be a completely awesome idea like adult kickball with beer, and pervert it into something altogether stupid and serious.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> hipster neocolonialism: friends conquering with each other's perceptions.

hastings

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> He seems like the kind of guy who spends the kickball game screaming at his teammates to tag up or move back or run faster or whatever you're supposed to do in this playground game. Then he blows the game at a crucial moment and spends the next three hours crying into his styrofoam cupped margarita about his missed opportunity to win at kickball... which he doesn't yet realize is a metaphor for his whole life.

idratherbesailing

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @City_Dater: Seconded!

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Where's the "Shut up, Brooklyn" tag? This is crying out for it--among other things.

City_Dater

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Yet another reason to dislike hipsters.

Uncle Ruckus

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> "I'm sure you'd rather be the pitching coach of the Yankees" is the way i'm going to address every single one of my coworkers when i have a request from this point forward.

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> "I've been destitute, starving, and kicked out of my apartment."

If you didn't devote your entire life to fucking kickball, you'd be rich, fat and housed, you idiot.

PimpMyCouch

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Just call me lady of the evening
just get my drink before you leave me
Just call me lady of the evening
then slowly turn away from me




Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Wait--read the letter in the voice of the Middlebury T-shirt wearing-petty thief on The Simpsons.

de wolfe

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Please remind me to steer clear of Williamsburg, McCarren Park, and the fucking Turkey's Nest on Sunday evenings. For the rest of my life.

bridgeburner

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> That he's been evicted I can well understand, and hats off to that landlord (or those landlords.) But he's been "starving"? Shut up about kickball (which I hated and never willingly played in school--which is when most people play and or stop playing it) and get a job.

Although, it would be hard for him, what with his terrible, grasp of the comma.

de wolfe

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Kevin sounds like someone who failed wrench dodging and therefore was not picked for dodgeball.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I have your nine home plates over here mister.

sidemouse

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @hypocriteoath: Hey now, there were no overserious kickballers at Wesleyan. Ultimate Frisbee yes, kickballing no. Over under on how long it takes for the Middlebury Quiddorks to move to Williamsburg and start harassing the local barkeeps?

BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> he could, um, leave?

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Looks like someone's started playing dickball.

lawyergay

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @digitalsmoothie: no, you should bet kevin's testicle on it.

IamnotStarJones

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I'll give him this, he's right - I did think he was nuts for starting kickball.

Also, check this out:

[gothamist.com]

BitchSetMeUp

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I was going to call this self-important asstard a sawdust Caesar, but I don't want to insult quality wood pulp like that. He's more of a dryer lint Caesar, anyway.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> "What's this"
"It's a laminated free drinking card"
"It's like 30 years old"
"My father willed it me and it was held up in the courts for several years but after a lot of lawyering I was finally able to pry it away from my brother"

BullfightsOnAcid

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @IamnotStarJones: This guy was raised at least bourgeois and probably above; I'd bet a testicle on it.

digitalsmoothie

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Good luck on getting a lady of the evening to be his lady for the evening-how much would he have to pay her?

IHateWhatYouHaveOn

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Somebody's retarded.

werewolf

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> "White children, in the main, and whether they are rich or poor, grow up with a grasp of reality so feeble that they can very accurately be described as deluded--about themselves and the world they live in.
-James Baldwin, No Name in the Street

Kevin, Mr. Baldwin is talking about you.

IamnotStarJones

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Whatever-these assholes stole my soccer league's field for a week last year (we had a permit and we outnumbered them; our organizer was too much of a pussy to throw them out).

"What I make in one week of Kickball..."

Whoa, this guy makes money off of kickball and complains about it. Another one for the salt mines...

digitalsmoothie

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> If I tell the hipsters that there were kickball playing hipsters on an ep of King of the Hill, do you think they'll be embarrassed enough to stop?

JessicaLovejoy: Y SO DYKEISH?

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> How did he get this letter? Was it under the bar owner's windshield wipers? In an envelope along with pictures of his children coming and going to school? Or taped to a severed horse head?

Bloo Kazoo

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> This letter is loosely based on episode 2 of that John Adams miniseries on HBO.

Garanimal Logic

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @smitty: The only letter missing in "kickball" is the M! They're thaaat close!

moneyries

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> This asshat and Turkey's Nest deserve each other.

flossy

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Please let there be a hipster-kickball murder, a la "Disco Bloodbath."

Botswana Meat Commission FC

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> By the way, over the last couple of months my comments have brought Gawker.com several page views.

I want:

- The root password for Gawker Media servers
- To sleep with one of the bloggers
- A star
- Oh yeah, free drinks

Sincerely,

Nic Fit

Nic Fit

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I'll be right back... I am gonna go pour broken glass all over McCarren Park.

You had a good run, park, but it is clear you need to be destroyed. Let the kickballers duke it out with the latino soccer league for rights of the astroturf field.

Hiphopopotamus

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @flipper baby: Sweet Baby Jeepers! I just about peed myself reading that.

blix

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @flipper baby: brilliant!

blogylonian

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I love that this guy thinks that his website can be like MLB.com's - MLBAM has like a million employees and their websites have streaming video, game day flash player, etc. Hilarious.

On another note, I can't believe this guy's ego is that huge for a KICKBALL league.

smitty

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Don't the other players pay something to play? Shouldn't that sign-up fee cover the expenses? Also, this is just a hobby right? It's not a full-time job. Sounds like someone needs to learn how to delegate.

downlow

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> @flipper baby: bravo!

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I heard about a teacher at a swank Malibu school ending up with a broken spine after a freak kickball accident. Why can't that happen to Kevin?

mockingbird

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Never accept an unlaminated drink card.

NEVARS!

digitalsmoothie

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> There is nothing worse/potentially-better than gettingduked and thanked at Ye Olde Turkey Neste.

jackvinyl

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I'd like to play Dodgeball with this guy. And throw the ball at his head. And the ball would be made out of lead. That's what I said. (rhymes)

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> people put up with this fucktard?

debord at work

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I am kickball. You are not kickball, we are all kickball. You know that song, where they're like, last night a DJ saved my life, well, I am that DJ. And it is your life that I am saving, or possibly it is kickball's life, or perhaps you actually are kickball. But you make me feel like a moldy avocado and I bring your beer to people. Freddie Mac and John Boy have beaten me to within an inch of my life, and all I ever wanted was to eat the delicious pretzels- which will sell beers- that were sitting on the bar. Let's talk about the time when I arm-wrestled that three-toed sloth in the basement and you said you would pay me in belt-buckles and clothespins. Turns out that the belt buckles were also clothespins, and now I want to sue you for a kajillion dollars. Maybe we should meet in the "squared circle" or the "scorched earth" to settle this like men- with a dance contest. Or maybe we should play kickball. If I win, I get to take your family; if you win, I get to take the cash register and run like hell. In sum, you kick my balls, I'll scratch your kickballs.

flipper baby

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> JESUS. did this kid go to Wesleyan? WTF? entitled AND annoying. to quote the sinister ladies at Jezebel: stabby.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> And thus came the reply:

Yes, son, you do bring a lot of business to our bar. However - and you can't minimize this no matter how hard you may try - you are of drinking age and take kickball seriously.

Bite me.

With Dignity and Aplomb,
The Nest management team

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> Someone needs a kick in the balls.

Chief Wahoo

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I long to be his lady of the evening. maybe that could lead to being the baby momma of that fictitious son.

StrawBerryShortCake

]]> <![CDATA[Hipster Kickball Scandal: Dive Bar Served with List of Demands]]> I have no words, really, only letters. JFP.

BettyCrocker

]]>