Meet Our Executioner - Gawker Comments

Meet Our Executioner

BalknChain — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:51:58 EDT

Meet Our Executioner

louisev — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:45:32 EDT

I think Gawker is outsourcing executions to Bangalore or Pune. You'll be able to tell if people disappear about 4 a.m. Pacific time, because that's when the outsourcing center staff come in.

louisev

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TedSez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:25:32 EDT

@Hez: I'll get right on that. (At last, bikini pictures on the Internet!)

TedSez

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:14:20 EDT

@Helman: That pretty well sealed my love for Natasha, too.

@Hez: That is truly repulsive! Well done!

DorothyMantooth

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Hez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:09:16 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: More like this...

Hez

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:02:45 EDT

@valarmorghulis: @hypocriteoath: This adulation seriously will never get old!! Thanks, you guys!!
(But I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop... eeeep!)

DorothyMantooth

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Helman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:02:14 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I LOVED THAT PHOTO!!!!

Helman

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hypocriteoath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:59:49 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: when chicks wear hats they look like dudes. totally.

hypocriteoath

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valarmorghulis — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:57:57 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I need to go out and get some better hooch to toast the occasion!

valarmorghulis

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:53:59 EDT

@Hez: You mean like this?

(Okay, you can't really see what she did there... But all my fellow ANTM faithful know what I'm talkin' 'bout!)

DorothyMantooth

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hypocriteoath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:47:52 EDT

@Helman: @DorothyMantooth: @moff: @Mike_Jahn: everyone loves DorothyMantooth and why shouldn't they? rock on with yo bad self.

hypocriteoath

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Jenniferhdaniel — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:38:42 EDT

@StrawBerryShortCake: totes hot.

Jenniferhdaniel

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Hez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:36:48 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I think you should get a gold TOOTH. Mama needs a fancy grill to go with her new bling.

Hez

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:34:44 EDT

Awwwww!! You guys!!
I love you all so much!

DorothyMantooth

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Helman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:34:01 EDT

@hypocriteoath: Ditto!

Helman

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hypocriteoath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:31:11 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Finally! you deserve it.

hypocriteoath

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:29:04 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: You would have noticed eventually, like when the next bar you went into served you all your drinks on the house.

God, these stars are awesome.

Moff

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:28:18 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Outstanding!

Mike_Jahn

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belltolls — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:19:54 EDT

@Hez: Hezbollah!

belltolls

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:17:45 EDT

Gasp!! I got a star?! WOW!

DorothyMantooth

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MyCubeHas3Sides — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:12:48 EDT

@Hez: Brilliant!

MyCubeHas3Sides

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:08:25 EDT

@Spirit Fingers: The music's not even an option, since THEY ALWAYS GIVE THE AWARD TO SOMEONE ELSE! Ha! You hear that, 'Ye?

You know those people where you're like, "Well, their music sucks, but I bet it'd be fun to have a beer with them"? Kanye is like the opposite of that.

Moff

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Spirit Fingers — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:56:07 EDT

@moff: Totally unfounded. However, I will say that instead of starting that "You've rambled on long enough now everyone's uncomfortable," awards show music, someone should just come from backstage and commence in beating the flagrant bastard into the orchestra pit.

Spirit Fingers

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Hez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:55:38 EDT

@MyCubeHas3Sides: Thanks, Cubey. I'm trying to get it back up there. As soon as bloggettes are working again, you'll hear about it. Meantime, there's always a link to the pics on my profile page. (And here, if you're lazy.)

Hez

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:45:26 EDT

@IndianSlipper: That was the conclusion I reached, too, I'm afraid.

DorothyMantooth

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:40:43 EDT

@Clarence Rosario: You are, you are!
And I heart you!

DorothyMantooth

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:40:16 EDT

@IndianSlipper: You should have required a deposit.

Mike_Jahn

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IndianSlipper — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:39:07 EDT

@DorothyMantooth:Furious George ran off with all the breast pics we sent him. Crazy Chimp!

IndianSlipper

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MyCubeHas3Sides — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:38:55 EDT

@Hez: I, for one, totally miss your Bikini-blog-in-a-blog.
:-(

MyCubeHas3Sides

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:32:55 EDT

@blix: Ha!

Mike_Jahn

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Hez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:27:02 EDT

@moff: Like Hitch, the more whiskey I drink, the more you actually resemble said flaxen haired lesbian. (Ellen?)

Hez

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blix — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:23:31 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: More like an angry Mae West.

blix

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:22:30 EDT

Is Kanye West like Leslie West? Or James West?

Mike_Jahn

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Mediahohoho — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:19:44 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: And here I was thinking you'd been mowed down in one of those horrendous Canadian gun crimes we're always reading about down here, eh?

Mediahohoho

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:19:22 EDT

@moff:
Who's Kanye West?

Mike_Jahn

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:14:56 EDT

@Bell County: Maybe if I were a flaxen-haired lesbian.

@Spirit Fingers: Spirit Fingers does not care about black people!

Moff

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Clarence Rosario — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:14:42 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Bless you, doll.

See? That's why I love it here. I've got people convinced that I'm witty!

Clarence Rosario

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Spirit Fingers — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:10:13 EDT

@moff: Now, if only Jack Ketch's threats of violence and death could extend outward and onto Kanye West. I'd be mightily impressed then.

Spirit Fingers

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Hamud Ibn Hamud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:08:19 EDT

Before a person's executed, does he have to do something like recite the Nicene Creed or make a speech about his loyalty to the Holy Roman Catholic Church?

I mean, I'm really not good at public speaking and as far as those other issues are concerned I'm not 100% certain that I could tackle them with the sort of gusto and sincerity appropriate to such an execution.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

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Bell County — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:06:41 EDT

@moff: Don't be pessimistic, being a Gawker commenter might get you laid with Kanye.

Bell County

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:03:34 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Wait. So she was just impressed because you're dad-aged and on Gawker, the same as if you mentioned how great the Kanye West show you just went to was.

So this isn't gonna get me laid, even with the star.

Moff

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SheWalkedWithAZombie — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:02:52 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: "We're a tolerant family with a sense of humor. Clearly."

Clearly.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

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Hez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:56:29 EDT

@Jack Ketch: Thank you for that. That was a clip-worthy offense if ever I saw one.
@moff: You started it, but Hamud and I finished it.
@Pope John Peeps II: Where do I start... we had bloggettes for a while here, and I put terrible things on mine... bikini things! They deleted them at a certain point, but the pics are all here.
@TedSez: That's for your bikini bloggette, silly.
@Mike_Jahn: A star commenter, Mikey. Even more so than dates, that should be good for a handjob in the can before the ice has even melted in your G&T.

Hez

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:52:54 EDT

@AndSheSaid: What, about the girl? She works with my son. They're media people. They follow Gawker and Jezebel. He's the one who got me into Gawker, last October, when I was complaining that I had no one interesting to chat with online. He follows my comments. We're a tolerant family with a sense of humor. Clearly.

Mike_Jahn

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blix — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:50:30 EDT

Multiple avatars, multiple voices?
LolCait: Linus Van Pelt.
Richard: Paul Lynde.
Jack Ketch: Vincent Price.

Anyone?
(The above were submitted with the utmost respect. Especially yours Mr. Ketch. Um, sir!)

blix

Meet Our Executioner

Goober_Pea — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:34:41 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I'm thinking that maybe we should spruce up Jack Ketch's image. Give him a design that's a little more Gawkerific.

Goober_Pea

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SheWalkedWithAZombie — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:19:24 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: ha ha!

You're joking right?

Please tell me you're joking.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:16:24 EDT

@Itsjustcatnip: I think I'm illiterate now. Thanks.

PickleTitsTurner

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hypocriteoath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:13:07 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: yeah, it's best to leave the misunderstandination and misconstruerity to me! oh, you wanted to avoid that? well, I'm boned.

hypocriteoath

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:00:31 EDT

@hypocriteoath: Awww, that's alright, darlin'! C-Ro's just one of my old-timey favorites, so I didn't want anyone to misunderstand his witticism there.

@Seeräuber Jenny: Judging from her last comment, she's disappeared herself. Sob! Maybe (like Wookie!) she'll come back?

DorothyMantooth

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:00:27 EDT

@FracturedAcetabulum: Who's name?

Mike_Jahn

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BadUncle — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:53 EDT

so glad to see the return of Peeps. And glad to see executions (even my own). But Jack Ketch gives me the Ren Fair Fear.

BadUncle

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Itsjustcatnip — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:20 EDT

Me speakum good.

Itsjustcatnip

Meet Our Executioner

Itsjustcatnip — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:07 EDT

@PickleTitsTurner: You're suggestions they give suspensions too in addition to expulsions?

Itsjustcatnip

Meet Our Executioner

FracturedAcetabulum — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:55:58 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: what was his name?

FracturedAcetabulum

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Seeräuber Jenny — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:54:59 EDT

@DorothyMantooth:

What the hell happened to VenusCloacina?

Name change?
Joined the creative overclass?

Seeräuber Jenny

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hypocriteoath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:53:14 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: so was I? no, no I wasn't. I got the fooled and now look like the stupid. again.

hypocriteoath

Meet Our Executioner

Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:51:32 EDT

@Helman: If you think this is good, wait till the erotic masseuses show up with your wishing ring.

Moff

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Helman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:48:14 EDT

@Helman: Yippeee!!

Helman

Meet Our Executioner

Helman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:46:36 EDT

@Jack Ketch: Just seeing your name in such close proximity to mine gave me chills! Well done.

Helman

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:46:22 EDT

@Helman: Is it getting old? Because I feel like it's one of those that just gets funnier and funnier.

Moff

Meet Our Executioner

belltolls — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:46:02 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: But how? And why? His wordsmithing was very fine. Maybe it will be like the end of Lassie Come Home when the music comes up and Furious comes running over the hill.

belltolls

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:44:48 EDT

@Jack Ketch:Do you ever take in bits and pieces? A finger here? A tongue there?

PickleTitsTurner

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Jack Ketch — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:42:43 EDT

@Helman: Jack Ketch may both giveth and taketh. But mostly taketh.

Jack Ketch

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:42:32 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Now that is a likely story!

DorothyMantooth

Meet Our Executioner

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:41:52 EDT

@PickleTitsTurner: If by "vagabond children" you mean "us commenters," I think you may be on to something!

@belltolls: Ha! I really can't help but think the boob pics are somehow involved in all this...

DorothyMantooth

Meet Our Executioner

Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:40:21 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: At the Cosmo 1000-bikini party?

Mike_Jahn

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mitchel_stevens — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:39:20 EDT

can we nominate editors?

[gawker.com]

mitchel_stevens

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:38:59 EDT

@hypocriteoath: C-Ro was being facetious, darlin'.

DorothyMantooth

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rubyruby — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:35:33 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Long time lurker and only occasional, fairly recent commenter. As the former, let me say I am happy to see you back. You help enrich my time-wasting at work in ways you'll never know.

rubyruby

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:34:59 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Is the beheaded profile thrown to the dogs and torn limb from virtual limb to the cheering delight of vagabond children?

PickleTitsTurner

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belltolls — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:33:39 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: If he didn't have bail I would have been happy to put it on a credit card.

belltolls

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Helman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:33:06 EDT

@moff: Again with the sneetch thing! Jeeez.

Helman

Meet Our Executioner

hypocriteoath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:32:31 EDT

@Clarence Rosario: le sigh...

hypocriteoath

Meet Our Executioner

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:32:06 EDT

Also, this seems as good a place as any to ask: Where the hell is Furious George?!

DorothyMantooth

Meet Our Executioner

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:30:49 EDT

@mathnet: @Seeräuber Jenny: @IndianSlipper: So what would be the Gawker equivalent of the messy Ketch-style execution, then? Will we have a mass piling-on in the execution post to posthumously roast the recently deceased?

DorothyMantooth

Meet Our Executioner

Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:30:47 EDT

@moff:
It helps if she's your son's assistant and it's his tab.

Mike_Jahn

Meet Our Executioner

Clarence Rosario — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:30:07 EDT

Who the fuck is Peeps?

Clarence Rosario

Meet Our Executioner

PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:29:38 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Be careful, you don't want to be the first Gawker commenter caught up in a sex tape scandal.

PickleTitsTurner

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:26:30 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: You're sure she wasn't One Of Us?

DorothyMantooth

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Carol Gardens — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:25:33 EDT

@moff: Should I put this on my resume or something?

Carol Gardens

Meet Our Executioner

Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:25:12 EDT

@Seeräuber Jenny: But then you'd have to admit that a French person killed you.

Moff

Meet Our Executioner

IndianSlipper — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:25:08 EDT

Having now learned the history of the real John "Jack" Ketch (thanks for the wiki link) I am curious if these will be nice, clean executions or will the departed go painfully with multiple wacks of the blade? Or, forced to swing on the rope until gravity chokes their last breath out of them?

IndianSlipper

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KarenUhOh — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:24:57 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Oh, it's huge. Our parrot says "Uh oh" whenever I come in the room, and as far as I know, all he ever watches is Judge Judy.

KarenUhOh

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Seeräuber Jenny — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:23:20 EDT

The details about Ketch in the Wiki article were pretty grisly. If you decide to off me, please channel back to the Tudors and dispatch me with a trained French swordsman as Henry VIII did as a courtesy to Anne Boleyn.

Seeräuber Jenny

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:22:24 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Yes, do tell. What's the best way to work that into the conversation?

They Live

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:21:13 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Did you casually respond, "Actually, I'm a star commenter, but it's not as big of a deal as it sounds"?

Moff

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:19:57 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: That works?

I knew I picked the wrong time to get married.

Moff

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MyCubeHas3Sides — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:16:33 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: That kind of gives me some hope for this weekend!

MyCubeHas3Sides

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:15:54 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: [That pointing-at-our-foreheads thing again]

Moff

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SarahHeartburn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:15:09 EDT

Peeps is back. Heads will roll. Spring is in the air!

SarahHeartburn

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:14:08 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Erm, or what moff said.

DorothyMantooth

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Spirit Fingers — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:12:09 EDT

But I thought there would be a critique and a panel discussion before the one who really thought she nailed her photo shoot gets sent home, while one of the judges tears something made of Velcro or chiffon off his body, in a desperate plea for relevance. This clearly goes against the mold.

Spirit Fingers

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:12:08 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: WHOA!!!!!
(You've turned me into Keanu Reeves, Peeps. Impressive!)

DorothyMantooth

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DorothyMantooth — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:11:24 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Awww, don't pick on him when he's not even here to defend himself!

With your luck, I bet Jack Ketch is Noelle!

DorothyMantooth

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Mike_Jahn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:08:11 EDT

This is a good gig, guys. I was at the bar at Mercury Lounge Monday night chatting with a perfectly adorable twenty-something, who exclaimed "you're a Gawker commenter?!!"

Mike_Jahn

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:06:33 EDT

@they_live: The idea is to avoid becoming a ghost!

Moff

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:03:18 EDT

@they_live: "end up"

I'm on borrowed time, myself.

They Live

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:03:12 EDT

Someone should offer themselves as a sacrifice so our crops will grow.

PickleTitsTurner

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:02:42 EDT

@they_live: Not that his prose isn't razor-sharp!

They Live

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:02:02 EDT

@moff: You never know--you could end with a lucrative gig as his ghost writer.

They Live

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:58:34 EDT

@they_live: It was done out of the best of intentions.

But I probably won't offer any unsolicited help in the future.

Moff

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BGGA — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:57:20 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II:
WOOT!... all is right with the world. Welcome back!

BGGA

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:56:38 EDT

@moff: Hope Ketch likes working with editors.

They Live

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:51:08 EDT

@Bell County: Nice.

Moff

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DonPardoCalrissian — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:50:17 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Hey hey hey! Awesome. It's like when Dad moved back in.

DonPardoCalrissian

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Richard — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:49:18 EDT

@BrianVan: Oh you're just asking for it now, you old poop!

Richard

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Bell County — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:48:45 EDT

@BrianVan: Hai BrianVan5!

Bell County

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BrianVan — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:47:38 EDT

*yawn*

BrianVan

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Helman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:45:35 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Well, just so you know, everyone missed you.

Helman

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MyCubeHas3Sides — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:43:04 EDT

Mutton and Mead for all my friends!
Eat, drink, and be merry; for, today we may be executed!

*slinks under table*

MyCubeHas3Sides

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Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:39:19 EDT

@mathnet: Hmm? Oh I never beg anybody to take me back. That's not for me.

Mmmmm. Well. Where to begin. I got booted one day because I totally deserved it. Check the commenter history. I'm a prick. And then the next day I just totally lost all my fever for the flavour of the interweb. Like back in 2003 when something deep in the unconscious water of humanity shifted and everyone became existentially terrified of myspace and frantically hit "delete account".

So I left the whole of the internet for a couple of months. Then I logged in one day to see if any of the four or five commenters I messaged had responded, and someone had reactivated this account. And I'm a weak weak man, so I'm here.

And thus ends the tale of Peeps, and his faithful steed Rocinante.

Oh and I wrote a really good poem for a girl in Montreal, but it did not at all get me laid. To Kids out there: IGNORE POETRY. PLAY THE BASS.

Pope John Peeps II

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ExecutiveIntern — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:36:20 EDT

If Mr. Ketch wants his first (well deserving) victim, he's waiting for you on the Obama-logo thread. I will neigh stand by while people are executed for fat jokes, but blackface runs free...

ExecutiveIntern

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StrawBerryShortCake — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:35:53 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein: sure i'll just leave it over here between the bowl of fat jokes and the vase of unfunny racist remarks.

StrawBerryShortCake

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:35:12 EDT

@collegecallgirl: We all get our date with death...

They Live

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KarenUhOh — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:33:01 EDT

This is so truly great. The Pope is back, we're killing people again. . .

Let's pour Bourbon and salt all over My Cock and roast weenies.

KarenUhOh

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:32:04 EDT

@Mediahohoho: Shhhhh. Don't say my name.

Moff

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fileunder — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:31:19 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Hey! Good to see Peeps after Easter :)

fileunder

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Goober_Pea — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:28:24 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Let us kill the fatted calf for our Prodigal Peep has returned!

Goober_Pea

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dado — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:28:16 EDT

I think Krucoff pulled up the ladder.

dado

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:26:32 EDT

@CodePink: Yeah, Gawker hasn't been cool since it was a garage blog way back in the salad days. It's all, you know, commercial and, like, popular in the suburb's now.

;)

PickleTitsTurner

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Mediahohoho — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:25:54 EDT

So this is how you're going to get rid of the few remaining liberals? Been nice knowing you, Moff.

Mediahohoho

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They Live — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:22:52 EDT

Best way to follow Ketch is on tumbrelr.

They Live

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TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:21:17 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Welcome back, you old so-and-so.

TheHonJudgeSmails

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mathnet — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:20:23 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: I'm curious about what made you beg your 'real girlfriend' to take you back. And why did you leave us in the first place?

mathnet

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StrawBerryShortCake — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:20:17 EDT

@collegecallgirl:
there is something kinda hot about being watched.

StrawBerryShortCake

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CodePink — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:20:03 EDT

You know that all the commenter newbies are like, "Why are people so excited about this Peeps person?" It's kind of absurd.

CodePink

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In Other News... — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:19:48 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Howdy old-timer!

In Other News...

Meet Our Executioner

vulturesquadron — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:18:18 EDT

@moff: Don't feel bad. He had it coming, even with the intoxication defense. National Socialism is just soooooo passé.

vulturesquadron

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Sargasm — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:18:12 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: How you doin'?

Sargasm

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FracturedAcetabulum — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:16:36 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: holy shit!
You made my Friday. Get Venus Cloacina back in here, and it'll be quite the reunion.
maybe even Krucoff'll show.

FracturedAcetabulum

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Conbon — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:16:04 EDT

@karion: Shhhhh. HE's watching!

Conbon

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Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:14:00 EDT

@KarenUhOh:

Goodness goodness goodness Ms. UhOh. I cannot believe you remembered my pinata spread of commenter names. We truly are the old guard.

Can you believe my stint as a commenter has outlasted two girlfriends? Seriously, Gawker Media is the most faithful relationship I've ever had. And it's only brought me two orgasms, so it must be love.

Pope John Peeps II

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karion — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:13:51 EDT

@Conbon:
This is very upsetting news. I already booked the tickets to Mexico.

@Pope John Peeps II: Hot damn, good to see you.

karion

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TedSez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:11:25 EDT

@Richard: Thanks, R.!

So now, all of a sudden, there's a comment submission box on the "My Activity" page. What's that for?

TedSez

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McCheeburger — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:11:05 EDT

Yay, I get to play here for another week.

McCheeburger

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:11:03 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails & Conbon: Oh, I was talking about mathnet and Josh Stein. She's been really creeping me out with that.

Moff

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BalknChain — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:11:02 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Hi Peeps. I have the urge to sing Rufus now ;)

BalknChain

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Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:10:44 EDT

@Richard: Hello yourself. Your star seems to be on the rise. A spanky new hood of death, an olden tongue which is not esperanto, and your favourite play won a pulitzer. And I assume you are safely enrolled in playwriting school by now.

Hello all. I am reconstituted, reified, reiterated, rectified, rectal... no wait, not that.

Pope John Peeps II

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:08:13 EDT

@Jack Ketch: Oh. I feel kind of responsible for that, even if I did take it back a second later.

@Pope John Peeps II: HOORAY!!!

Moff

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:07:34 EDT

@Jack Ketch: The mob demands a rolling head!

PickleTitsTurner

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KarenUhOh — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:07:32 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: He-She-It Is Risen!!

Lord bless the souls of Alphonse to Zombie!!

KarenUhOh

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ThereMustBeAPony — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:06:44 EDT

Please do post the link to your "medieval phrase generator" good man!
There's a randy young lass of fine buxom proportions I'd like to cajole to the pole (ahem) in no short order. Admonishments in the nature of your mercury tongue will entice her right smartly. A determined brisk paddle to those lush ripened buttocks would do just as well, I believe; however, office protocol and tender public sensibilities elsewhere prevent such a direct measure. Gratitude in advance.

ThereMustBeAPony

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Conbon — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:06:28 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Now I'm worried. Just for the record, I wish Noelle nothing but happiness with that d-bag boyfriend of hers.

Conbon

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Steverino — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:05:01 EDT

He's like an executioner with a heart of gold.

Steverino

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Unfun — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:04:49 EDT

Oh, can't we execute one person today at least? I got all excited when I saw the post! Sigh.

Unfun

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Cheap Shot — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:03:55 EDT

Thank. God.

Cheap Shot

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TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:03:48 EDT

@moff: Then Conbon should be very careful.

TheHonJudgeSmails

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Bell County — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:03:48 EDT

@Richard: Don't forget his star...

Bell County

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Jack Ketch — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:03:44 EDT

Informers may alert the state at GawkerExecutioner@gmail.com. Direct all inquiries there, and not to their highnesses, the editors.

Not quite everyone was granted reprieve.

Jack Ketch

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Richard — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:02:47 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Hello stranger!

Richard

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Chaim Gnadelstein — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:02:38 EDT

@StrawBerryShortCake: I'll tell you what...how's about you leave that gift card with me, and I'll be sure Jack gets it.

Chaim Gnadelstein

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kennethellen — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:02:26 EDT

I've been in Stone Mountain for a while; can someone fill me in on the stars?

kennethellen

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Colonel Mustard — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:02:17 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Peeps!

Colonel Mustard

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CodePink — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:01:42 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

CodePink

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Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:01:35 EDT

@TedSez:
Gawker commenting has entered its "The Lives of Others" phase.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

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mathnet — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:01:21 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: You are freaking me out, man.

Is anybody else seeing what I'm seeing??

mathnet

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Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:01:20 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: I also hear he might be executing anyone who sexually harasses the guest editors.

Moff

Meet Our Executioner

Moff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:00:12 EDT

It doesn't really seem like something there should be a standardized weekly quota for...

(But that, I think you're going to do a wonderful job, Mr. Ketch, and you have nice eyes.)

Moff

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Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:00:02 EDT

@PickleTitsTurner: You ain't kidding, man. Not even a little.

Pope John Peeps II

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IHateWhatYouHaveOn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:59:56 EDT

Oh Thank God...I've been wishing and hoping for something like this.

IHateWhatYouHaveOn

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KarenUhOh — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:59:14 EDT

The last time I had something to say about Mr. Denton a crown appeared on my head and someone took a bite out of my toast.

KarenUhOh

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PickleTitsTurner — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:58:43 EDT

Old commenters don't die. They just fade away.

PickleTitsTurner

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belltolls — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:58:31 EDT

Jack Ketch was also known as Mr.Graball? Ouch!

belltolls

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Bell County — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:58:10 EDT

Jack, you had me at "gormless prats."

Bell County

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mathnet — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:58:04 EDT

Based on the Wikiterrifyme link I followed unawares, I'm reassured that at least it will take several swipes of his axe to get rid of anybody.

mathnet

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StrawBerryShortCake — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:58:02 EDT

Dear Jack,
I have a $25 gift card to Outback, want to maybe grab a steak later in a totally not bribing you not to execute me kind of way?

StrawBerryShortCake

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TedSez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:57:28 EDT

At some unknown time, for some unknown reason, some unknown person took away my star.

Does the secret policeman have no balls?

TedSez

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collegecallgirl — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:57:21 EDT

Is Ketch single? I'm into the whole "hooded specter of death" thing.

collegecallgirl

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TheHonJudgeSmails — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:57:10 EDT

This is bad news for that idiot FiveInchTaint.

TheHonJudgeSmails

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PandoraSpocks — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:55:45 EDT

Richard I know its you. Sweet little LOLCAIT couldn't do this, so you've invented a third persona.

PandoraSpocks

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Dfkdave — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:54:05 EDT

Jack Mehoffer.

Dfkdave

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KarenUhOh — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:53:28 EDT

Can't you use Cruel-Ex to get rid of Jack Ketch?

KarenUhOh