Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie? - Gawker Comments

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Jenelle — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 11:20:14 EDT

Mr Big
In the dining room
With the candlestick

Jenelle

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Aph — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:24:18 EDT

I'm inviting everyone I know to this SitC bashing.

Aph

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

BenderingTime — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:08:51 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Hell yeah, Clone High rules! Now off to Amazon to see if it's on DVD! (It probably isn't)

BenderingTime

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

DonPardoCalrissian — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:51:45 EDT

@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: It's all art irritating life if you ask me. Which you didn't.

DonPardoCalrissian

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

mattymcd — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:36:19 EDT

@Unfun: I was so rooting for Andrea.

mattymcd

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Crazy Broad — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:03:20 EDT

The ladies will murder Patricia Field in one of the most delicious cameos EVER.

I mean, wouldn't YOU kill Patricia Field if she made you wear those batshit crazy outfits?!

Crazy Broad

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

minx — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:57:35 EDT

Samantha, of course. But the reason behind the cancer kill-off won't be pathos - it will be something akin to the old horse from Animal Farm going to the glue factory

minx

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:39:48 EDT

@Chaim Gnadelstein: That would be art imitating life.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

tracyflick — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:37:55 EDT

Nathan Lane's character dies. The gay pianist who married the rich lady? That's the only explanation as to why Bitsy Von Muffling's character is even in the film.

tracyflick

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

PaisleyPajamas — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:36:18 EDT

The Justice of The Peace at Big's and Carrie's wedding, after staring too long at Carrie's blue, feathery, headdress thing-a-ma-jiggy.

PaisleyPajamas

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Unfun — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:23:58 EDT

@Steverino: Very cute.

Unfun

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

meechybee — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:23:12 EDT

the audience -- it would be a mercy killing.

meechybee

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Chaim Gnadelstein — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:11:53 EDT

Charlotte, shotgun.

Chaim Gnadelstein

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Spirit Fingers — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:09:07 EDT

We are counting Matthew Broderick as one of the women, right? Then, yes, he will die of Nathan Lane withdrawal seeing as SJP just never quite filled those womanly pants.

Spirit Fingers

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

DonPardoCalrissian — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:08:44 EDT

Me. I will die. Because this shit is bullshit and I am far too sensitive to coexist with such an intense level of bullshit. And I say this as someone who has survived most of three Bush administrations, two full Reagans, a bit of Nixon, and the existence of both Harry Potter books and sweatsuits as acceptable streetwear.

DonPardoCalrissian

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Steverino — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:08:19 EDT

@Tony the Tiger IS BACK: That spoiler was not so grrrrrrrrrreat, Tony.

Steverino

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

EDogII — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:01:09 EDT

@SSteele: I think it's Sanford.

EDogII

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Chaim Gnadelstein — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:00:29 EDT

I think New York dies.

Chaim Gnadelstein

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

SSteele — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:52:35 EDT

I don't think any of the main four will die - maybe someone tangential like Carrie's little bald gay friend.

Gah what's his name....Stanford?

SSteele

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Richard — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:50:04 EDT

@dashenbka: Oh! Tell me!!

Richard

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

AuntPeniston — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:50:01 EDT

@Unfun: Kinda like that preview for an episode of the OC where they promised violence between Marissa and SweatyLip (can't remember the character's actual name, but that's what my husband & I called him), complete with sound effect of firing gun. But in the actual episode the gun never actually goes off. Teases.

AuntPeniston

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Chaim Gnadelstein — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:49:53 EDT

Mr. Big -- opening scene, morning, with Carrie watching from the window of her apartment, in a massive limousine explosion.

Chaim Gnadelstein

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

ImNoJuneCleaver — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:49:33 EDT

Has to be SJP at the hands of one of the old flames. Aidan spends years in therapy but still can't let go. It wasn't only mentally he would kick her ass all over Manhattan.

ImNoJuneCleaver

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

gerbilsoutofexile — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:48:06 EDT

Carrie will be swallowed up by that huge blue scrunchie; while running to save her friend's Manolo's, Samantha will be hit by a Coors Light truck and thrown into the gutter. Her last words will be, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

gerbilsoutofexile

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

dashenbka — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:47:49 EDT

I TOTALLY KNOW WHO DIES!!!!!!!!!!!

dashenbka

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

bitsy boozer — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:45:56 EDT

The correct answer is "all of us, a little bit, on the inside."

bitsy boozer

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

louise — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:39:57 EDT

brendastarlet, the entire line would read: "we've never had a black friend. Would you be ours and teach us how to dance?"

Also, now that you mention it, maybe JHud will die. Isn't it the black actor who's always first to buy the farm in horror movies?

louise

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Itsjustcatnip — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:36:01 EDT

This would have been too good of an idea to include.

Itsjustcatnip

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

olivia2.0 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:35:01 EDT

@Mediahohoho: Yes, but it is never the slut who dies in the whore movie. Meaning, no one will die, except maybe Steve's other testicle.

olivia2.0

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

brendastarlet — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:31:05 EDT

@louise: yes, that would be sweet revenge. And then she'll turn to JHud and say, "we've never had a black friend. Would you be ours?"

brendastarlet

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Gregoire — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:30:22 EDT

The Sex and the City film is actually just a remake of the Eyes of Laura Mars. Carrie Bradshaw's eyes are poked out by her Blahniks.

Gregoire

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

louise — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:27:52 EDT

What brendastarlet said.

Altho plasticene may have a point; it would be just like SJP to kill off Sam so Cattrall can't be in any sequels.

louise

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

City_Dater — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:25:47 EDT

Oh, who cares? It all turns out to have been a fantasy in the mind of an autistic kid with a snow globe anyway...

City_Dater

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Ha Ha Sound — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:25:02 EDT

I think that Darth Vader dies in this one after a lightsaber duel with Carrie and Steve. In Pastis. While high on whippets. Wearing Manolo Blahniks. At Sunday brunch. While drinking cosmo-tinis.

Ha Ha Sound

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Tony the Tiger IS BACK — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:24:39 EDT

CYNTHIA NIXON DIES TOWARD THE END OF THE MOVIE...SHE GETS RUN OVER BY A CAR IN BROOKLYN...and then Samantha jokes at the funeral that Miranda did say she was never going to get out of Brooklyn again. (I have a friend who worked on movie)

Tony the Tiger IS BACK

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

EDogII — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:23:47 EDT

While walking through central park in a ballet dress, a horse mistakens carrie for a fellow equine, and proceeds to mount her and impales her with his ginormous thing-thing.

EDogII

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

plasticene — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:18:43 EDT

Samantha will die from breast cancer (remember?). Smith will die from unprotected anal. Ditto SJP. Noth will end up with redhead's husband, and redhead, in a jealous rage, will kill off everyone who's left, then realize she's gay (she is) and say, "Never mind.''

plasticene

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

brendastarlet — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:18:31 EDT

It's Steve's mother. Miranda finds out that Steve cheated on her with that slut he dated before Miranda and Steve got back together. Just as she is throwing his stuff out onto Carroll Street, he comes to the door with that puppy dog look and says, "Ma died." She relents and takes him back.

brendastarlet

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Bell County — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:14:47 EDT

@Ruutuu: Right on!

Bell County

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Rumpelstilskin — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:14:12 EDT

Everyone but Carrie will die. Violently. In a Barny's Warehouse Sale riot which sets the garment district on fire. Michael Kors, Calvin, Marc, Donna Karan are all jumping from their offices on fire. Patricia Fields in a cameo is devoured by the roving mob.

Then, when Carrie wakes up the next morning she goes into the bathroom and says to Mr. Big, "I had the strangest dream last night."

Rumpelstilskin

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Richard — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:14:07 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: "Nothing bad ever happened to the Kennedys!"

Great show.

Richard

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Pope John Peeps II — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:13:03 EDT

@Unfun: SO THAT'S IT. I finally understand the episode of Clone High where they announce that one of the clones you love will die, but you don't know who, and mysteriously there's a picture of luke perry, and then luke perry guest stars as the clone of ponce de leon and is killed by litter.

That show is serious gold. Not gold which is kidding around. Serious.

Pope John Peeps II

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

EleanorRigby — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:09:25 EDT

@PickleTitsTurner: That scene made me fear quicksand for life. And think that it was a common occurrence in forests, so I was afraid of my own backyard. Thanks, Never Ending Story!

EleanorRigby

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Sarcastro — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:06:11 EDT

@BlissSister: Nothing will ever replace the Bulgarian sex slave.

Sarcastro

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

KarenUhOh — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:05:29 EDT

I'd vote for the Cosmopolitan, but I think Melville already finished him off.

KarenUhOh

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

BlissSister — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:05:01 EDT

It'll be Charlotte's adopted Asian child because:
a)she finally conceived
b)Asian babies are OUT, African babies are IN!

BlissSister

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

the Librarian — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:04:41 EDT

The dark-haired ninny should become a vegetable from too many injections of Botox, and Samantha should not die. She should be bronzed naked and put in the middle of Central Park, along with the other gaudy sculptures.

the Librarian

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

BettyCrocker — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:04:29 EDT

Carrie's chin mole should die at the hands of Dr. Zizmor, and she should have it cremated, and then muse with the gals about whether it should be made into a diamond, or dusted across the drying lacquer of a brand new Manolo in Italy, or sneakily stuffed into one of Mr. Big's cigars, creating a hideous, moley blunt and bonding them forever.

BettyCrocker

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Sarcastro — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:04:25 EDT

Parole Son of Sam and give him a new black dog. This whole nightmare will be over in hours.

Sarcastro

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

Unfun — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:03:20 EDT

This was hilarious. Also, no one good is going to die, it'll be like in Beverly Hills 90210 when they told you "one of the gang" was going to eat it and it ended up being the blonde kid no one cared about after he spun his family gun around like a spastic and shot himself in the torso.

Unfun

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

the Librarian — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:03:02 EDT

The redheaded lawyer should die when her bartender husband finally murders her for being an elitist beeyatch,

the Librarian

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

HOPSCOTCH — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:02:47 EDT

@the Librarian: she already looks like she has been hit by a bus, a train, a stampeding herd of cattle - I'm still hoping they release a film version where she does not appear - they can fill in the airtime with Samantha's sex scenes.

HOPSCOTCH

Who Will Die Because of the Sex and the City Movie?

TedSez — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:02:23 EDT

I think it's pretty clear that this movie will kill off:
A. The married one's elderly mother-in-law
B. The married one's elderly nanny
C. The increasingly tired-looking Chris Noth
D. The audience members' sex drives

TedSez