famousauthor

It's not the boobs that cinch it, anyway, it's the hotel california background.

MissVolare

lowbrown

donmiguel

"It's okay to say it if my mom was born Jewish but brought up catholic (WWII Italy and all, as in, in a convent)..."

Between your parentheses hides a world of sorrow.

Strangely enough, two cookbooks give the most vivid account of that world, Edda Servi Machlin's The Classic Cuisine of the Italian Jews: Traditional Recipes and Menus and a Memoir of a Vanished Way of Life and Classic Italian Jewish Cooking: Traditional Recipes and Menus.

Perhaps you already know a great deal about the context of your mother's experience. If not, those two books are excellent places to start, and the food you can make from the recipes is fantastic.

About "Jewess"...

Like "negress," it has associations with the gender-specific terms for animals: sow, hen, mare, bitch, etc.

We try to avoid that nowadays by simply saying "a Jewish woman."

Hamud Ibn Hamud

EugenieRose

lizzybennett

so, people can make jokes about large breasted women being stupid and that's okay, but generalizing large breasted women by culture (I.e Italian) or religion is not? I'm just trying to get a handle on this...

lizzybennett

lizzybennett

rosaluxembourgeoise

UnstableMabel

rosaluxembourgeoise

UnstableMabel

Hez

@UnstableMabel: Apparently the only way I'll hit 50 is to drive slowly towards the bright lights. Or grow bigger boobies.

curlyqtips

@Hez: @VirusWithShoes: At not even 100 I am relegated to wallflower status, dreaming of my first kiss, losing my braces and wishing my legs were not so long and gawky and all the other boys weren't shorter than me.

UnstableMabel

Hez

"Explain Jewesses to me, then."

For the necessary context, I suppose we could start here:

בְּרֵאשִׁית, בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים, אֵת הַשָּׁמַיִם, וְאֵת הָאָרֶץ.

And give sort of a quick gloss on everything up to this point:

וַיֹּאמֶר אֱלֹהִים, אֶל-אַבְרָהָם, שָׂרַי אִשְׁתְּךָ, לֹא-תִקְרָא אֶת-שְׁמָהּ שָׂרָי: כִּי שָׂרָה, שְׁמָהּ.

If you wanted to be nitpicky and work the whole "covenant" angle, we could skip all the above and reasonably start here:

וְאַחֲרֵי-כֵן נִגְּשׁוּ, כָּל-בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל; וַיְצַוֵּם--אֵת כָּל-אֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר יְהוָה אִתּוֹ, בְּהַר סִינָי.

It's worth noting that Tziporrah, Mose's wife, who you could regard as the first "Jewess," was in fact a Cushite, or Ethiopian.

I mention this because it clearly demonstrates that Jews and "Jewesses" are not of a single racial, ethnic, or national type.

In other words, some Jewish women have large breasts, some have small ones. Some are dark-skinned, some are fair.

The only stereotype in this regard that holds true is that Jewish men are generally very well-endowed and are fiendishly inventive and enthusiastic fuck-beasts in the sack.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

"After all, if most black men these days are either unemployed or in jail, and most black men these days were raised by black women exclusively, I don't think it takes a Rhodes Scholar to put one and two together."

More blaming women, this time about their portrayal in hip-hop videos:

"Infamous rap industry jizz jar Superhead was featured and had the sheer balls to blame the situation on rappers, rather than herself. As if Ja Rule forced her at gun point to go down on half the jigs in hip-hop[1].

It's worth noting that in many cases, these broads aren't even getting paid to dance half naked in these videos. If you take away the old putting yourself through college defense, then what's left? In that sense, you can hardly blame a guy for seeing a black chick in a club and thinking she might be able to make it clap."

And aside from misogyny and the homophobia you mentioned, there's anti-Semitic shit too, e.g., "Liberal Jew-run piece of shit that it is" referring to the NYT or complaining about the "tall Israelis" running the music business.

I realize that some of it is tongue-in-cheek, but often the points Crawford makes are just dumb.

the_coast_guard

+ Watch video

Priam

+ Watch video

Un Chien Andalou

kewlkat

UnstableMabel

BalknChain

BalknChain

BalknChain

Un Chien Andalou

Unfun

VirusWithShoes

@Hamud: A baby rhino made of sunshine with a little blue bow tied on its magical horn!

@Unfun: Yes, I am. Although my broadband died on me as I was about to reply.

@BalknChain: I keep pressing him to write a sitcom with me. And he's still playing hard to get.

@rosaluxembourgeoise: Thank you. As a token, can I have Zimbabwe back, as I'm sure I left the gas on.

VirusWithShoes

Un Chien Andalou

Un Chien Andalou

SheWalkedWithAZombie

This is hilarious. You are impersonating an moron(ess), right? Because the irony in all of that nonsense is approaching Jane Austen levels.

I am trying to imagine all of the brilliant conversations that have begun, "Explain Jewesses to me, then." The mind reels. And then the mind falls down drunk in a puddle of its own sick.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

Un Chien Andalou

rosaluxembourgeoise

BalknChain

Un Chien Andalou

Unfun

Unfun

I remember researching that very issue waaay back when the story first broke and I was pretty much convinced that she was one of my people. Or, as Lizzy would seem to have it, a "Jewess."

@VirusWithShoes:

You are more adorable than a baby rhino made of sunshine!

Hamud Ibn Hamud

lizzybennett

lizzybennett

Un Chien Andalou

SIR GEOFFREY

Why, Adams, you old dog, you - come closer, dear boy. I simply must declare my undying adoration of that filly Seltzer's marvellous mountains!

ADAMS

I hear the talents she so obviously brings are done a disservice by her penchant for lily-gilding, Sir.

SIR GEOFFREY

Indeed, my boy. But it is said amongst no finer crowd than this, that baby may have back - if not front, Adams. Thoughts?

ADAMS

I have heard the same whispers in the self-same corridors, Sir. She undoubtedly has a fine rack, although - if I may speak somewhat out of turn - it appears that she will not be going back after reportedly getting some black.

SIR GEOFFREY

Ah, what a damned shame. My darling Cressida went through the exact same thing in the Congo. Last time I saw her, she was waving goodbye from the back of an elephant, naked as the day I met her. Ah well - I guess it's off to war, then?

ADAMS

Indeed!

SIR GEOFFREY

I meant for you, not me. Of course.

ADAMS

Of course, Sir. Wouldn't dream of it any other way. (EXITS)

VirusWithShoes

Anyway, who's looking at the earrings?

crotchety

I think this is one of those magical situations in which everyone comes off extremely well.

It very much reminds me of those waggish and elegant British drawing-room comedies of the 1930s in which everyone was dressed to the nines and fully armed with a glass of champagne and the most fabulously uproarious mots justes.

There's something tremendously sexy about that combination of wit, style, and intelligence, and somehow Seltzer and Crawford manage brilliantly to capture that quality.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

not

Rumpelstilskin

See also "Seriously, I would never want to be seen in public with Peggy Seltzer, or want people to know that I was banging her - because I'm a shallow bastard, and I care too much what people think about me. But I'm not gonna lie: I popped a little bit of a rod when I saw that picture of her on Harry Allen's site, with that plain white t-shirt (how hood is that?) straining to contain those humongous cans of her."

Can we get this guy to start commenting here? He'd fit right in.

VirusWithShoes

famousauthor

"...Peggy Seltzer looks like the kind of white chick who lives to fuck black dudes. It's all there in her weight issues; and the vaguely hoodrat expression on her face (but only to the point where it's kinda cute - not to the point where you wanna slap her); and perhaps most of all, those doorknocker earrings. ..."

Hamud Ibn Hamud

@valarmorghulis: Hearing that always makes me laugh. Thank you!

VirusWithShoes

valarmorghulis

Nard

I got a large number of replies, sadly from a large number of liars.

VirusWithShoes

valarmorghulis