Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation - Gawker Comments

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley — Sat, 03 May 2008 17:07:06 EDT

@Hez: If you truly live in the Pacific Northwest, you should be eating CajunTots.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:18:20 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: hello, go to the Jezebel post Ian just wrote on here

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:04:36 EDT

@Seeräuber Jenny:
The Stranger- what is Billy Joel up to these days?

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SarahHeartburn — Sat, 03 May 2008 11:03:25 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: I read it, and trembled. Dammit. That'll tell you something about The New Yorker.

SarahHeartburn

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SarahHeartburn — Sat, 03 May 2008 11:02:24 EDT

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Tell me about it. I fled the US in '89, apart from personal stuff, because of Bush daddy. And Koch. And stayed away because of Rudy. That's why the London election freaks me out so much. Plus that creep in France. Oh, and Berlusconi...thank god we've still got 4 years of good old Zapatero here in Spain.

SarahHeartburn

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:56:11 EDT

Ketch fans may enjoy this website. Seriously, fascinating.

[www.oldbaileyonline.org]

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:05:22 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: morning, you don't need to lose 10 either

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:04:51 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: t's all fantasy in good fun, Gawker porn if you will@In Other News...: sorry I missed you last night, be looking for you today

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

nightwatchman_flamekeeper — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:03:01 EDT

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: There was a New Yorker piece a few weeks ago that made him seem like harmless fun.

nightwatchman_flamekeeper

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

nightwatchman_flamekeeper — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:01:02 EDT

@Seeräuber Jenny: I am become death, the destroyer of comments

nightwatchman_flamekeeper

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Sat, 03 May 2008 09:18:26 EDT

@Conbon: What better place to get caught hanging around than an execution thread? Good choice for a man crush btw.

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Sat, 03 May 2008 08:24:32 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: we know a bit about electing buffoons in the us and the consequences

if_i_only_had_a_heart

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

raincoaster — Sat, 03 May 2008 05:43:50 EDT

You executed Hez. I wondered where the fun had gone.

Congrats.

raincoaster

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Seeräuber Jenny — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:55:28 EDT

@Seeräuber Jenny:

Due Process Clause

@SarahHeartburn:
You're right. Nighty night.

Seeräuber Jenny

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Seeräuber Jenny — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:53:40 EDT

"For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate."

Seeräuber Jenny

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SarahHeartburn — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:43:56 EDT

I think most of you are up way too late. Get some sleep, folks.

SarahHeartburn

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Seeräuber Jenny — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:31:26 EDT

@Hez:
In the midst of Gawker we are in death.

Don't get tetanus from the Rusty Nail.

Seeräuber Jenny

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Seeräuber Jenny — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:28:10 EDT

@MisterHippity:

You and about a million incarcerated people agree:

No Due Process sucks.

Now the Gawker Due Process is located ...

...never mind.

Seeräuber Jenny

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

rosaluxembourgeoise — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:27:21 EDT

@ian spiegelman: I know it's bad form, and argumentatively anemic to attempt to divert the subject, but can we discuss your choice in footwear?

PS: The Nazis did kill 20 million Soviets, as you know, too.

rosaluxembourgeoise

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SarahHeartburn — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:56:12 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: Grim, no? I've been following the election in The Guardian for a while now. I guess buffoons have a certain cachet for the bored voter, but the damage that will be done will last for decades.

SarahHeartburn

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

VirusWithShoes — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:42:48 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: Oh, agreed, and agreed again. Perhaps New Yorkers thought Giuliani could be embarassing? Or Koch?

They're got nothing on what this fucking rampant clown is going to produce over the next four years. I'm glad I'm 500 miles away from him in Scotland - now to be referred to as "minimum safe-distance".

VirusWithShoes

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SarahHeartburn — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:36:27 EDT

In other news, I see that twerp Boris Johnson was elected mayor of London. This is not good news.

SarahHeartburn

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BinkysDream — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:29:51 EDT

@Conbon: Ah, crap, Gwyneth? That's like the kiss of death.

BinkysDream

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Conbon — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:26:56 EDT

@SarahHeartburn:Yep. Just got back. I really liked it, and Gwyneth is more than tolerable in it!

Conbon

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Conbon — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:19:52 EDT

@BinkysDream: I don't know. That S&M motif he's got going is pretty damn gay.

Conbon

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SarahHeartburn — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:19:03 EDT

@Conbon: Did you see "Iron Man"? It's just opened in Madrid and I'm thinking of supressing my Gwyneth antibodies to go see it. I love Downey to pieces. I went to see Zodiac and sat there cooing dreamily while everyone else in the cinema was wincing and peeking through their fingers (of course, the presence of Gylenhal and Rufalo helped a lot, too.)

SarahHeartburn

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BinkysDream — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:17:01 EDT

@Conbon: Hmm, I'd watch out. I bet Ketch doesn't go for the whole man crush thing.

BinkysDream

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Conbon — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:03:43 EDT

@jackvinyl: Well now I wish I had.

Conbon

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Conbon — Sat, 03 May 2008 02:02:54 EDT

@Conbon: where WE'RE. Whatever. Time to drive drunk via my Xbox. Or some other reprehensible activity. Whatever MADD says.

Conbon

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

jackvinyl — Sat, 03 May 2008 01:57:57 EDT

@Conbon: You caught "Weird Science" on TBS too?

jackvinyl

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Conbon — Sat, 03 May 2008 01:53:44 EDT

So is this where were all hanging out? That's a bit gruesome. Anyway, my man crush on Robert Downey, Jr. has increased exponentially after tonight.

Conbon

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

VirusWithShoes — Sat, 03 May 2008 01:49:36 EDT

@UnstableMabel: Even a broken Jock is correct twice a day.

VirusWithShoes

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

TheLorax — Sat, 03 May 2008 01:35:16 EDT

I have this hunch that Jack Ketch is Gabe.

There's a resemblance, right?

TheLorax

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:22:30 EDT

@Hez: Well have fun, Hez. Me, I'm off to shops and movies with my broken jock to see a ewan mcgregor movie where we can can both embrace our ewan crushes (not that he would ever admit it).

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Hez — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:09:15 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: I'm on my best behavs tonight... on Gawker. In real life, I'm currently enjoying my rusty nail "dresser" in a a floral frock as I get ready to go out to a night of drink and debauchery at the club I love most, where my bartender friend has put me on the guest list to see another old friend's band play their farewell gig before heading out east. Should be a glorious shitshow.

Something about waking up dead makes you really want to go out and live!

Hez

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

In Other News... — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:08:26 EDT

@ian spiegelman: Okey doke. It involves... an asshole publicist... (start doing that thing from Wayne's World where Wayne and Garth wave their arms up and down...)

In Other News...

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:50:32 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: Night night Chien. Puggy kisses.

Unfun

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:47:10 EDT

Heading to bed to dream of you baudy women and torturing Jack with a dull blade.

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:46:07 EDT

@UnstableMabel: Oh god, I'm jealous.

Virus has the most beeeeyootiful accent. I sound nasally and Long Island.

Unfun

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:45:40 EDT

comment #400 Hez?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:43:43 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Sweetest of dreholding cool compress on Theda's persistant fever.

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:42:49 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Of course you! That's a given. Goodnight lovely.

Unfun

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:41:28 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Night Theda.

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:40:24 EDT

@Unfun: I am always bugging my scotsman to tell me I love yea , not because I am insecure, but because he says it just like Mel in Braveheart and it makes my knees wobble.

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:40:19 EDT

Good night, everyone. Hopefully, I'll "see" you all over the weekend.

Sweet dreams. Tough day, it was, so sleep well.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:36:17 EDT

@Unfun: Me, too?

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:35:32 EDT

@BinkysDream: You can add my connectedness spit to your ball.
@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: Well you fair gave me a flippin' heart attack.
@Un Chien Andalou: Bring back his head on a stick. We can plant it on VirusLand.

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:34:23 EDT

@UnstableMabel: Ha!
@Un Chien Andalou: I am large, I contain multitudes. I have room for all y'all in my panties.

Unfun

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:33:44 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: It always gets me right in the heart. And I can't really say why.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:33:14 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: Some of us don't need another gyro.

But some of us are still holding out.

BeRightBack

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:32:48 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: I am feverish. You are right. I guess I get to be the one who is the emotional mess 'round here.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

VirusWithShoes — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:30:34 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Thanks for the "Halfway Down The Stairs" video, Theda.

Brought a tear to a Scotsman's eye, that did.

VirusWithShoes

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:29:13 EDT

@Hez:
I loved you long before him, took you to Brazil, and got you a MacAir.@UnstableMabel: @Unfun:
Yeah, Virus is all that, but I've been raising @Unfun: 's puppies and am going directly after Jack in the open. I'm Roman Slave stock, we wore the kilt first. @Theda_Bara: Darling, I never said or thought such things, you are feverish and I have not even asked for a returned love letter so as to expedite your dissertation. When finished I will carry you back myself.

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:28:27 EDT

@Hez: Silly me, get with the program, mabel.
@Theda_Bara: You too Thedaluv.
@Unfun: ha! sounds like a safe sex slogan!

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BinkysDream — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:26:29 EDT

@UnstableMabel: Thanks! So far, so good, and I actually gained some followers today from this. So I think Ketch has only succeeded in fameballing me.

BinkysDream

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:25:39 EDT

@Unfun: For you and your jock

[crackle.com]

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:24:07 EDT

@Hez: I appreciate the sentiment, but the only tattoo I can commit too now is "Virus4ever" on my tits or ass. Virus, you pick.

Unfun

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

VirusWithShoes — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:23:02 EDT

@Theda_Bara:
@UnstableMabel:

Diane Warren is using today's Execution Thread as inspiration for her new love song.

It's called "Will You Ketch Me If I Fall?"

VirusWithShoes

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:19:50 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: I was inspired by your moment today, being all brave for Unfun like that.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

nightwatchman_flamekeeper — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:18:19 EDT

@UnstableMabel: No, it was a lousy tuna on rye. I only had $6.

nightwatchman_flamekeeper

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

VirusWithShoes — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:16:21 EDT

@UnstableMabel: Aww. Thank you!

I was actually wearing Unfun's wet panties, which - to those uninitiated - do act as an excellent fire retardant.

I was in little danger most of the time. But in a lot, some of the time.

VirusWithShoes

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:16:01 EDT

@UnstableMabel: I KNOW, btw. That really was so loyal and romantic and amazing.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:15:16 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: OMG, Chien, I'm described here as a narcissistic bipolar freak from the backwoods!

@Hez: Anointing yourself? Here, let me do that...

@UnstableMabel: Mabel! I'm always glad to "see" you.

@BalknChain: For you, honey.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Hez — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:14:51 EDT

@UnstableMabel: Pearl necklace, duh.
@Unfun: Let's get matching tattoos to remember this. Someone design something while I'm in the tub. [Disclaimer: I have no intention of actually getting a tattoo. But I will host the art on my blog.]

Hez

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

nightwatchman_flamekeeper — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:14:48 EDT

@BalknChain: Aw thanks, but I just had a gyro. I need to lose 15 pounts. Okay, 10.

nightwatchman_flamekeeper

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:10:00 EDT

John (Jack) Ketch (died 1686) was an English executioner employed by King Charles II. An immigrant of Irish extraction, he became famous through the way he performed his duties during the tumults of the 1680s, when he was often mentioned in broadsheet accounts that circulated throughout the Kingdom of England. He is thought to have been appointed in 1663. He executed the death sentences against William Russell, Lord Russell in Lincoln's Inn Fields on July 21, 1683 and James Scott, 1st Duke of Monmouth on July 15, 1685 after the Monmouth Rebellion. He was either very awkward or sadistic with his beheading technique, and his victims were known to have suffered at their deaths.

Ketch's execution of Lord Russell on July 21, 1683 was performed clumsily, and a pamphlet is extant which contains his Apologie, in which he alleges that the prisoner did not "dispose himself as was most suitable" and that he was interrupted while taking aim. On the scaffold (see gallows) on July 15, 1685, the Duke of Monmouth, addressing Ketch, referred to his treatment of Lord Russell, the result being that Ketch was quite unmanned. He had to deal at least five strokes with his axe and finally use a knife to sever Monmouth's head from his shoulders. In 1686, Ketch was deposed and imprisoned at Bridewell. His successor, Paskah Rose, a butcher, was hanged at Tyburn after four months in his office. Ketch was reappointed in his place. He died towards the close of 1686.

Questions, comments, reactions?

Executioners are under the employ of the king Nick

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:08:01 EDT

@Hez: You're awesome.

@UnstableMabel: Agreed. Scots still make me wet in the panties.

@RedHotAries: It wasn't immediate. I'd like to think the deserving among us were shown clemency from a fair executioner based on commenter consensus. But that's all I'm going to say, because my head is barely hanging on here...

Unfun

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:00:22 EDT

@BinkysDream: That rope burn looks a tad tender, am glad besides that you are relatively unscathed. Was just getting over the Mike Jahn thing. (Wondering how Hez is going to dress hers up?)

Virus is the man. Throwing himself on the pyre like that for Unfun was truly a great gawker romantic moment. I love me a Scotsman.

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Hez — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:54:02 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: Unless you have some tarps and liquid soap, you shouldn't pit us gals against each other, cuz I'll wager the Spiegelharem has room for all of us hot Gawker ladies.
Now I must bathe and anoint myself with oils. I might be a bit wintry, but I'm nowhere near frostbitten, you dig? See you all laterz.

Hez

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

RedHotAries — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:52:42 EDT

So the victims are executed but can immediately start posting again...what's the point?

Oh yeah, page views. Clever Ketch.

RedHotAries

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:48:32 EDT

was not saying anything to upset you ian. time for mommy to tuck you in.

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BinkysDream — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:47:54 EDT

yay, is this the FNFF? But being executed is like having a migraine, I get a little fuzzy afterward.

BinkysDream

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:26:44 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: If I knew what you were saying, I might be upset. But I am terribly sleepy and that is all.

Night everyone.

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

oneninesevenfour — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:23:14 EDT

@ian spiegelman: Spiegelman is right on one account. Coke had already switched to corn syrup before New Coke came out. However as for it being a marketing ploy: the classic line is "The truth is we aren't that dumb, and we aren't that smart."

[www.snopes.com]

oneninesevenfour

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

SidAndFinancy — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:19:38 EDT

@BalknChain: Great news! Probably the only time I've been glad not to be rid of a virus. Other than herpes. That's like an old friend by now.

SidAndFinancy

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

UnstableMabel — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:19:21 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: Nice sandwich?

I was worried about you. Don't do that again.

UnstableMabel

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:18:40 EDT

@BalknChain: If we could comment with some expedeniency I could attempt to dispatch Jack and his Beanstalk. Ian,@BalknChain: is married, hence"chain" so only fantasize with her. Rosa cares only for the revolution, Theda, poor girl, the mirror and mascara, but I'm hoping her completetion of her dissertation and being cured of malaria or whatever one contract's in Florida will change her outlook. Unfun happiness is a warm puppy. And She Said wants to save all the homeless dogs and humankind, as well as stop gawkers from performance enhanced blogging, but Hez resides just outside of her juristiction and suffers from a wee bit o frostbite in her bikinis.
Any questions?
me-

but no dog

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:16:32 EDT

@ian spiegelman: I see nothing wrong with rubbing things in dead men's faces.

Wait...wait! That's not what I meant!

...or is it?!

BeRightBack

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:13:26 EDT

@In Other News...: You could still tell me. This is just as fine a place to spread gossip as P6. Unless their rape threat against Vanessa G. gave you pause. That was creepy.

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

In Other News... — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:10:20 EDT

Wow. So whilst I was gone, the world disappeared, and then 4/5ths of it later came back. Innerestin'.

I actually read all 357 posts before posting, because I like history.

Anyhoo, Virus, you scared the FUCK out of me, don't do it again. And please share your cash advance with us lowlies.

Hez: 'ave a cruller.

And Spiegelman, sometimes I wish you were still P6'ing! So many good stories I could tell. Well, at least one.

In Other News...

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:04:08 EDT

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: he decided to stay with us@ian spiegelman: oh wonderful! Well, I'm heading to a hot shower and bed before more school torture tomorrow.

hugs and kisses to you all!

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:02:08 EDT

@BalknChain: Well you are now! You just weren't around when I finally added friends, silly!

@BeRightBack: Well, thank you. I do happen to take pride in my ban across the entire former Soviet Union. That's sort of cool.

And I can rub it in Urnidiot's face next time he attacks me personally. Oh, wait. I can't. Because he's dead now. Rest in Peace, dick.

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:59:46 EDT

@VirusWithShoes: you will be missed

if_i_only_had_a_heart

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:55:27 EDT

@BeRightBack: I'm here and having a great deal of commenting difficulty.

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:54:32 EDT

@ian spiegelman: I'm *sniff* still not on *sniff* your list! [picture me sitting on the floor pleading with you, crying and tugging at your pant leg] *sniff*
I still love you!! And I will be al over your posts this weekend between studying and homework.

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:52:40 EDT

Y'all are back! Yay!

@BeRightBack: I spent some of my time away looking at the amazon.fr reviews for Parasites, which seem to agree that the translation is pretty bad. Makes sense, since theres really only one "parasite" in the book (and it's actually a "symbiotic worm" [共生虫], not a parasite [寄生虫]....)

Wait, who am I talking to? Myself again? Are other people reading these comments?

@ian spiegelman: I wasn't funnin' wit' ya. I do think it's a dashing photo and a distinguished feat!

BeRightBack

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:51:33 EDT

@BalknChain: What do you mean we're not friends? Of course we are, silly!

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:51:20 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: that is gloriously bad and I thank you

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:50:31 EDT

@busyness:
These are the kids who harrass tourists from Britian at the Concord Monument, love 'em.

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:48:54 EDT

@ian spiegelman: We're STILL not friends? God I'm getting a complex.

Chien, where's the Cool Whip and Slip n Slide?

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:47:43 EDT

@BalknChain: Where are my comments, my sword, my single malt?

pardon bad, movie,acting, etc...

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:44:58 EDT

@ian spiegelman: No offense taken, unless you mean my Gawker family. I never get out. My last outing was meeting Mike Jahn. Mike!!!

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:43:14 EDT

@htotheomo: Hold me! I'm confused and tired! @ian spiegelman: You were banned by a whole country! Alsome!

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:43:00 EDT

@BalknChain: I think you need a vacation a la What About Bob? No offense, but geez, you could use a break from the damn family.

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:41:14 EDT

@rosaluxembourgeoise: I was talking about Stalin and you know it! He destroyed his entire officers corp when he needed them the most!@BeRightBack: Well, it was an okay photo I guess. Just saying my books must have meant something to someone if a whole country banned them, tha's all.

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

htotheomo — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:40:01 EDT

@BalknChain: I know. It's like Ketch is having fun withholding pageviews. Wait?

htotheomo

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:36:00 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: Show me your sword! You can't say sword to me and then nothing else about it!! I'm cracking! God damn finals!! [collapses]

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:34:10 EDT

Un Chien: the comments are wonky, I can see them on my profile, but not the post *weeping*

BalknChain

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:17:27 EDT

hello?

BalknChain

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Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:10:38 EDT

@BalknChain: @Unfun: @rosaluxembourgeoise: @Hez: @Theda_Bara: There will be war, then carnage, then wine, then women and cool whip, and song.

Un Chien Andalou

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BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:08:03 EDT

@Helman: I suspect it is more like (the loathesome) Eyes Wide Shut.

You mean it's like a clothed request for a naked party? [I also disliked that movie, by the way.] [Though I liked Gattaca! Please don't hit me!]

BeRightBack

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:58:31 EDT

@ian spiegelman: I need a VACATION!!!!

BalknChain

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:53:46 EDT

where have all the comments gone?

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:48:18 EDT

@ian spiegelman: Being banned always counts for something. Take it from Unfun, et al. You've found your place. And your "I'm banned!" photo is quite dashing!

@Bell County: I think you'll like it! Despite his obscurity in America, Ryu's just as famous as Haruki in Japan, although his prodigious output is much more wildly uneven. That debut remains one of his best, cheesecake and cockroaches and vomit and all. Too bad he never really caught on like Haruki, though he has had a spate of new translations come out recently. Piercing's a pretty good one from his later career, as is Parasite (if you read French -- no English yet! Dammit!)

BeRightBack

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rosaluxembourgeoise — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:46:07 EDT

@ian spiegelman:
It was typical of the Nazis to kill 20 million Soviets. Now excuse me while I raise my glass with the women.

rosaluxembourgeoise

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Helman — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:42:51 EDT

@Hez: That's so cute of you to say this. It's like letting me know I had food in me teeth or something. I appreciate it. ANd we fucking missed you!

Helman

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Helman — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:41:25 EDT

@Theda_Bara: My naked request to find out where the parties are. I suspect it is more like (the loathesome) Eyes Wide Shut.

Helman

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CrankYank — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:41:24 EDT

@Unfun: That kind of heaven could have me lobbing bombs at Jezebel momentarily.

CrankYank

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:32:49 EDT

@Hamud Ibn Hamud: my god, that is very Shadowland by Straub

BalknChain

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:31:47 EDT

@rosaluxembourgeoise: And killing off your top generals in the middle of a World War is typical of what?

ian spiegelman

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:31:40 EDT

is the execution thread being sucked into a vortex?

BalknChain

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:30:16 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: sword? what? talk to me!@Unfun: I love you, keep on being you. I already changed and put on soething sexier.

BalknChain

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Unfun — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:26:07 EDT

@BalknChain: @htotheomo: You both are invited. Wear something trashy.

@Helman: Something like that, lots of sexy, androgynous, well-hung Brits who all wanted to undress and serenade me whilst feeding me strawberries and serving champagne. I chose you all instead.

I'm kinda scared to comment now, I don't know what I did wrong, so am I wont to repeat it?

Unfun

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Spirit Fingers — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:24:34 EDT

I've been relatively quiet for fear of head loppage, but I'm genuinely glad everyone has returned from purgatory safe and sound. I wonder if it was like the anteroom in Quantum Leap. Were there silver jumpsuits? Anything named Ziggy? A Bakula in a dress with accompanying accoutrements?

Spirit Fingers

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rosaluxembourgeoise — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:15:49 EDT

@ian spiegelman:
Disorganized impulsivity so typical of the bourgeois mindset.

rosaluxembourgeoise

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:10:50 EDT

here comment monster, eat

BalknChain

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:10:12 EDT

refresh

BalknChain

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htotheomo — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:04:43 EDT

@Hez: Can we have fries with cheese curd? When I was at Whistler, I devoured the very thing (curd) that sounded gross everyday.

Then I fell down the mountains.

htotheomo

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htotheomo — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:00:37 EDT

@Hamud: Well-written, as always. Like an Eastern European Twin Peaks.

@Helman: Nope.

htotheomo

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Hez — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:59:51 EDT

@Helman: Depends on where you live, Helman. Anybody in the Pacific Northwest should contact me if they haven't already. And I am also tipsy, so I can tell you there is no "tator" in commenter. (Unless you bring me some of your famous Freedom Fries!)

Hez

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

htotheomo — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:56:54 EDT

@Helman: 1, 3, and 2. In that order.

As for Gawker meetings, I think they're small and necessarily so. I would travel to NYC for a Gawker convention though.

Over-invested? Me? Nope.

htotheomo

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Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:56:16 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Here is my shoulder, just leave my sword arm free, it is Friday after all.

Un Chien Andalou

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Bell County — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:55:51 EDT

@BeRightBack: I can't believe somebody else read that! I'll definitely pick up Ian's book now.

Bell County

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:55:42 EDT

Going out for Thai, y'all.

Theda_Bara

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:54:19 EDT

@Helman: Why would you want to take back being tipsy?

Theda_Bara

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:52:28 EDT

@ian spiegelman: *Nods* I applaud your level-headedness. Still, I think of it wistfully.

@BeRightBack: I am. I am a huge fan of the mojito. Oh, how I loves thee, mojitos.

Theda_Bara

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busyness — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:52:01 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: @CodePink: Can my nephew be ring bearer at the ceremony?

[www.thiefsden.net]

busyness

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WordSalad — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:51:22 EDT

@Hez: Does it hurt, Hez? Yanno, when they cut ya?

WordSalad

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Helman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:43:06 EDT

@Helman: I would like to take this back. Double delete, or something.

Helman

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busyness — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:42:30 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: @CodePink: Can my nephew be the ring bearer at the ceremony?

[www.thiefsden.net]

busyness

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:41:52 EDT

@Theda_Bara: We'll see about that. But here's the thing: if I launch an attack on him just because I feel like it, my name will be linked with his forever on the Internet. I've learned that from previous enemies. It's not a thing I want to have happen. But if he shows up in the news this weekend--anywhere--then it would be only natural to do, well, whatever it is I'll do.

ian spiegelman

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Hamud Ibn Hamud — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:39:48 EDT

And while their reprieve surrendered the condemned to hope, and while their friends rushed to join in this talismanic pleasure, no one in the village, as the night wore on, noticed the white owl that had settled in a pine beside the common well and in a curious low voice had begun softly but persistently hooting...

Hamud Ibn Hamud

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jackvinyl — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:38:24 EDT

Hezzer Tuscadero or whatevr you're calling yourself... welcome back - truly Hez is a champion.

jackvinyl

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:38:05 EDT

@BeRightBack: Maybe I'd have caused a sensation if I'd been Japanese in 1976. But I didget banned in Russia.

[www.observer.com]

Doesn't that count for something?

ian spiegelman

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

jackvinyl — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:37:48 EDT

@ian spiegelman: I heard what HoHo heard -- the point was to get the cane off the shelves and tongues of America just long enough to switch to the corn syrup formula and call it Classic. Here in TX we have access to Mexican cokes which taste like 1984 all over again...

jackvinyl

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BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:36:38 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Girl Drink Drunk!

I admit, I have a weakness for mint juleps or anything that toxic, Windex-y blue Curaçao confers.

BeRightBack

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:29:17 EDT

@ian spiegelman: So, no Joe Francis ambush this weekend? I had such high hopes! You dash them, sir.

Theda_Bara

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:28:29 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Hehe... You think I have plans? I plan to show up. Beyond that, I have no idea.

ian spiegelman

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Helman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:26:53 EDT

Christ, I'm tipsy. Anyhoo, before I go watch my DVR'd Office/30 Rock, can someone tell me how it is that one learns of the Gawker commentator meetings? Do I have to show my body parts? Be more funny? Pretend I am 20? Candor would be appreciated . . .

Helman

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:23:42 EDT

@BeRightBack: I like 'em all sweeted up and colored pretty, like my women.

Theda_Bara

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BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:22:34 EDT

@ian spiegelman: I've been accused before of assigning too much reading. But it's short and sordid! And the semi-autobiographical protagonist goes on an interestingly similar personal voyage! It caused a big high/low art crisis when it won the big Japanese lit award in 1976.

@Theda_Bara: I like 'em like I like my men, ginned up and dirty. Et vous?

BeRightBack

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AuntPeniston — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:21:52 EDT

I'm gone for an hour and suddenly all is right with the world.

Unfun, I added you as a friend today and you got axed. I log out for a half sec and everyone is resurrected. Nobody get too close. Clearly I am dangerous, and should spend the evening under quarantine.

AuntPeniston

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:19:27 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: Oh, sexy. I will wait patiently up against the secretary, tied, just the way you left me.

BalknChain

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busyness — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:18:04 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: @Hez: I've connected the dots (after a brief moment of reflection). Now the gang really is all here. I think I'll have a drink.

I never believed in reincarnation before.

busyness

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:17:38 EDT

[sacrifice to comment goddess]

Theda_Bara

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:17:35 EDT

@adropp: Well, I do that anyway. Every night. ::sniffle::

ian spiegelman

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Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:15:28 EDT

@BalknChain:Sweetie,
always have the bolltle of single malt in hand for you, no need to seek purchase, except against the secretary(as books fall down). Hold that thought, I'll be right back. Scampers off shuffling in socks, pants at knees.

Un Chien Andalou

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:14:32 EDT

@htotheomo: You heard our seance? *blushes* Of course a 'mo can come out for girls' night! But you have to clear it with Unfun first.

@Un Chien Andalou: Gimme your shoulder.

Theda_Bara

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:13:05 EDT

@ian spiegelman: oh Ian, I'm TRYING to offer you reassurance, take it!@Theda_Bara: I'm sorry. It realy was too small an area for our version of Twister.

BalknChain

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busyness — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:12:50 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: Always a good reminder. One can never be too careful.

busyness

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:11:30 EDT

@ian spiegelman: And I in no way endorse Orlando. As a rule. I do, however, seriously endorse your plans for the weekend.

Theda_Bara

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PimpMyCouch — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:09:36 EDT

Moses! I miss a lot when working.
Glad that everyone who was out is back in, except for those who were in but are now out. And for the one who was in, but then out, and now back in. God, it's like a cricket match in here.

PimpMyCouch

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:09:01 EDT

@Theda_Bara: Clearly--I thought--I was just using Christ as an excuse to post a sweet hippie video. I was in no way endorsing anything but that song.

@BeRightBack: Nope. But I guess now I hafta!

@BalknChain: I wasn't worried about this weekend... It's the summer when you'll leave me all to my lonesome.

ian spiegelman

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:05:42 EDT

@BalknChain: Yeah, I think you might've kicked me, but it was ok.

@BeRightBack: You're right. Couldn't have been the puppies, then. Man, I need a martini now.

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: sage advice, indeed.

Theda_Bara

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adropp — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:04:55 EDT

Oh good everyone is back, now the weekend can begin. I was beginning to think Ian would be all alone on Saturday night saying witty things to himself and cruising Youtube for cute clips.

adropp

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:03:45 EDT

@Un Chien Andalou: Cool Whip, single malt, jimmies and a whip

BalknChain

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WordSalad — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:03:35 EDT

@Leather Twatson: Ha!

WordSalad

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:02:42 EDT

@htotheomo: You are most welcome. I'm still waiting to hear from Unfun personally, but it's good to see her walking around. I hope she's curled up with Virus. Better give her stuff back too BTW.

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

Un Chien Andalou — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:02:19 EDT

@BalknChain: @Unfun:
Heading out for Grey Goose, Jimmies, and Cool Whip and puppy chow. @CodePink: and I have to talk now.

@Theda_Bara: @Hez: @rosaluxembourgeoise: I'm here for you as well.

Un Chien Andalou

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rosaluxembourgeoise — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:01:12 EDT

@ian spiegelman:
I was remiss, and will perform a thorough self-examination and self-criticism. Long live our martyr-comrades of Capitalism 2.0!

rosaluxembourgeoise

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HeyThatsMyBike — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:01:03 EDT

Thank goodness death is temporary. This would've put a real damper on my weekend. Welcome back, zombie commenters!

HeyThatsMyBike

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:00:54 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: Sarah!! I'll be wearing my electronic leash nearly all this coming weekend. Yes, I need a drink to calm down.

BalknChain

Jack Ketch Proffers An Explanation

htotheomo — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:00:53 EDT

@belltolls: I NEVER think to steal the good stuff.
That said, my stapler is broken.

@Theda_Bara: @BalknChain: I reached around the cubicle wall. I heard you, but I didn't want to disturb the quiet incantations.

Can a 'mo go for Girl's Night Out, too?

htotheomo

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SarahHeartburn — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:59:19 EDT

@BalknChain: I'm with you all in spirit. Bloody Mary's with extra horseradish, please.

SarahHeartburn

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:58:05 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: no you don't

BalknChain

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:56:32 EDT

@BalknChain: wow, what happened there?

BalknChain

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nightwatchman_flamekeeper — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:56:11 EDT

@Hez: I need to lose 15 pounds, so fear of going out to eat is a bonus for me.

nightwatchman_flamekeeper

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BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:55:43 EDT

@Unfun: @Theda_Bara: If they were puppies worth their salt, they would have arrived with little silver martini-filled shaker/barrels hanging from their collars.

BeRightBack

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Helman — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:55:42 EDT

@Unfun: Is this waht it looked like?

Helman

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Trixie from Toronto — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:55:07 EDT

@GeorgeBabbitt: You called? I'll do what I can to provide Canadian tittie shots but Hez? What did that perfectly hootered hottie do?

Trixie from Toronto

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:54:44 EDT

@Theda_Bara< oh, are you who I bumped into under there?

BalknChain

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Helman — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:54:03 EDT

Lots of love here tonight. Very sweet.

Helman

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BeRightBack — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:53:43 EDT

@ian spiegelman: Well, the only substantial thing I had to say was that it reminded me of Ryû (aka: not Haruki) Murakami's first novel, Almost Transparent Blue. Have you read it?

BeRightBack

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:52:53 EDT

@Unfun: Can we go shopping the next day, too? For make-up?

Theda_Bara

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:52:29 EDT

@ian spiegelman: Oh honey, this is a weekend where I will need you the most. Have to finish a ton of last minute work for school and study for finals next week.
xoxo

BalknChain

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:52:03 EDT

@htotheomo: When did you do that? I was crying under her desk and never saw you once!

Theda_Bara

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belltolls — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:51:12 EDT

@htotheomo: Desk lamp. Ikea, I think.

belltolls

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Hez — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:50:15 EDT

@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: I hope that sandwich was at least tasty. Glad to see you back.

Hez

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Theda_Bara — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:50:13 EDT

@ian spiegelman: The power of christ compels me? Remember, I live near the "fairies" sign.

[gawker.com]

Theda_Bara

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ian spiegelman — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:50:01 EDT

@BalknChain: Oh Balky... Once the temp goes over 80 degrees you'll all be beaching and I'll be sitting here writing to myself like some crazy old man with a pirate radio station...

@Hez: It was cotton candy!

@htotheomo: Even Red Rose didn't bring the pinko stuff into this cheery celebration!

ian spiegelman

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htotheomo — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:49:54 EDT

@belltolls: I already took Unfun's stapler and desk organizer, so this is of interest for me as well...

htotheomo

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BalknChain — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:48:04 EDT

@Unfun: Do I get to join in?

BalknChain