<![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I think Cary writes porn movies on the side and his night job started to spill into his day job...just a wee little bit.

Smirk

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> One out-of-control incident leads to shame and humiliation and fuck it all, who the fuck cares now, might as well write my advice column drunk again because no one noticed the first time, so fuck them too, they must not care about me, and since they don't care about me I must be pretty worthless, and if I'm worthless you're worthless too, you shit, so stop writing me asking for fucking advice, we're all worthless, so what if I start convincing advice-seekers that they are accessories to gang rape, they should have been there to tell me not to write my column drunk and protect me from those Marines and protect me from myself, too. So fuck them. Fuck you. Fuck it all.

This is the way we end up dead.

amplesufficiency

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> People, the Canadians are coming, they get Viagra cheaper too.

Un Chien Andalou

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Why does he keep using Frank Sinatra's picture?

famousauthor

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: Fucking brilliant. I hope he hates my guts.

Koreanish

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Yeah, this doesn't say a thing about what (if anything) to do in a situation of normative irresponsibility, but it does say a heck of a lot about Cary Tennis. A frightening amount, actually. And the most frightening part is he doesn't appear to be at all aware of that.

Not that there's anything wrong with rape fetish. (Is there? noooooooo there's nothing wrong with anything, in theory . . . right?) But the automatic cascade of images that apparently cannot be suppressed is the type of thing I think I encounter a lot in say, homophobes with an unacknowledged thing for the dude down the hall, or neo-cons talking about "liberal close-mindedness." It feels kind of invasive to listen/read, even though it's intentionally public.

@MisterHippity: That was pretty perfect.

Zorica

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @MisterHippity: peanut allergies?

Tea Em Gee Eff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: we have underestimated the canadians at our peril

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff: nobody has such small hands

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @scroll_lock: mimes! i should know better than to eat and read

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> God, I miss my nights spent in motel rooms with Marines! Mmmm . . . military fetish . . .

seejanewrite

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise: you too?

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: He/she/it had me until 'commons sense.'

Twerpsichore

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Hamud Ibn Hamud: Thank you for making the much-needed reference.

beantownbastard

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Cary Tennis's line of reasoning is why the slutty girl always gets killed in horror movies. Because she's dirty now. She doesn't deserve to live.

That creeped me out.

Also, sex with a marine = gang rape. They are going to start using that in their recruitment materials.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Cary needs a new eyebrow threader. 'Cause this one isn't even trying.

CopyofBlueboy

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Cary Tennis:

"I marvel at the gulf between the language and the event..."

Consciously or not, Cary's borrowing from T. S. Eliot:

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Which, surprisingly enough, leads to this:

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Of course the only "bang" in the young woman's letter was the solid one she got from the Marine.

And Cary's response was basically a long-winded whimper.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @MisterHippity: That was excellent!

Helman

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @MisterHippity:
Damn you, Hippity! That is how it ends. With me, choking on my own saliva.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @MisterHippity: It worked!

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I posted a comment here and it never appeared. So I'm doing the old "post a new comment to try to make the missing one appear" thing.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I see Cary touching himself as he writes the answer. Fuckity, fuck, fuck.

Pop Socket

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @crotchety: Excellent point. In fact, how do we know that our heroine here isn't part of a gang of lady-rapists? Perhaps she was the aggressor? Maybe she put a little Viagra in his boilermaker? Perhaps our poor Marine has a touch of the PTSD after his confusing sexual encounter with this lass? Why does the guy automatically become a rapist, Carey????

sassypants

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Maybe there was a jar of peanut butter in the room. Maybe, by the end of the night, peanut butter was everywhere — on your friend's breasts, the Marine's buttocks, the sheets, the walls, the telephone — and maybe your friend was laughing, maniacally, and screaming "semper fi, baby! Semper fucking fi!" Which, translated, means, fuck me, fuck life, fuck my friends! They won't burst into the room and lick all this peanut butter off me, so i might as well let Juan here to do it!"

Because your friend is hungry for something. And it isn't peanut butter.

And this is why she may wind up dead, smeared in saliva and peanut butter, with a slice of Wonder Bread clenched between her cold, firm buttocks. Because this is how it ends. Just like this.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Pope John Peeps II: WOW, so that's what Manchester United FC has been up to?

valarmorghulis

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Yeah, I'm not usually traumatized by one night stands. Is there something wrong with me? Or is it because he was a marine? Just wondering if I'm alone here...

marvel girl

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> "Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all." This is a good thing to say to anyone who seeks advice from that Cary Tennis. I don't know how he manages to be both batshit crazy and entirely boring and unreadable.

ronaldpagan

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> " picture that hotel room full of Marines and your friend, drunk, abandoned by her friend and hungry for something, seeking something, vaguely aware that once she starts drinking she often can't stop or control what she does next, vaguely aware that whatever has been happening to her lately is happening again, and every time it happens it seems to get a little more out of control."

Maybe her friend was just supporting the troops?

felion

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @valarmorghulis: THAT IS THE ONLY POSSIBLE CONCLUSION.

Assume that for every conversation that you partially overhear too. Any objects named in the sentence can be pictured in his anus, and any people, putting them there.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Oh, buddy, that's the vibe I got, too. While reading his rape fetish, (and a GANG RAPE FETISH at that!), I was simultaneously creating my own anti-rape fetish. What if this Marine, one of The Few, The Proud, The Strong, one of Our Nation's Heros! was, in spite of his extraordinary bravery on the battlefield, (or wherever Marines actually fight), the gentlest, the tenderest, the sweetest, most considerate lover?

Picture him, dashing down to the hotel lobby for more candles and champagne, or sneaking out early the next morning to fetch our dear heroine a hot breakfast and fresh flowers? How come Cary didn't see it going that way?

crotchety

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @BalknChain: No, not Gramps!

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Nard38: HA! Excellent. I'm wondering if Tennis balls are fuzzy or if they have XXXs on them.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Pope John Peeps II: I overheard two people I don't know talking about a third person I didn't know on a topic I couldn't follow the other day. Perhaps they were talking about Cary Tennis' proclivities?

valarmorghulis

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Well, he's just delightful. What a little ray of sunshine. I just want to buy him a latte.....

sassypants

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @ronbo: And what a Lance it was!

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> So he gets a story of drunken, consensual sex and automatically assumes that the woman was raped and traumatized?

I'm floating the rumour that Cary Tennis has a rape fetish.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Seriously, though: who among us hasn't had a fucked up night of drunken, fucked-up fucking and thought, "Well, I guess that happened, so, *shrug,* I guess I might as well do it again"?

I mean, who among us hasn't had A FRIEND who's had...

social_crimer

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff:

I apologize that this letter response is so long - I lacked the time to make it short.

Blaise Pascal Tennis

But this remains my favorite from the Tennis oeuvre:
[gawker.com]

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @skahammer: No, that's all fair, and I would agree that his verbosity is a result of his not having a newspaper counterpart that keeps him in-bounds and a desire to use that to do something different. When pressed, I must confess that he makes me angry just because he makes me angry -- I instinctively dislike his voice. I suppose I should allow for the fact that there are people in the world whose tastes are different from mine -- but I can't see why that is or how those people can be happy. ;-)

OK, I'm going outside now! Foreal!

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @scroll_lock: the first time I saw them, I nearly choked. I wanted to wrap them around the driver's neck!

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: Fuck that guy.

Harvey Birdman

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @BalknChain: Just needs those faux gonads hanging from the trailer hitch and he's all set.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise: Or better still, la petite mort.

Spring is in the world! I'm taking my foolery outdoors now!

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff: Your specific points about writecraft are good, and I completely agree with your Dan Savage comparison.

I propose only that the model for an online advice column is not a dead-tree news or feature article, where concision is clearly paramount. Instead it's more like an e-mail correspondence, and that's a genre where I'll bet you can find a decent number of people who actually prefer long exchanges to concise ones.

I think Tennis is trying to create an unusual level of empathy, and I do think that his discursive approach can sometimes be better suited to that goal than a concise one. Concision has its shortcomings too.

Now, if you think Tennis' goal is a hopeless one, I won't argue with you there. Half the time, I read him because his column seems like a tightrope act anyway.

Anyway, good points. I can see where you're coming from.

skahammer

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: John Waters' hate piece for the new generation!

crotchety

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @blix:
Your mommas on fleshbot.
We love your momma.



Un Chien Andalou

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @BalknChain:
Uh, it's avian Miss Manners. Go suck on a bar of soap too, trashball.


BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @scroll_lock: Right!@SarahHeartburn: very nice, Sarah

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff: Yes, like petit mal.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I have one from yesterday:
Fuck you, you elevated Excursion driving douchebag! Yes, your elevated Exxon Valdez gasoline sucking Excursion. I could drive the front end of my Silverado under your rear end since it was 3 God damn feet off of the ground. But forget me because you look cool. Do you have a fog horn for a horn with life preservers dangling off of the sides. Oh, sorry. it was the Eddie Bauer Edition too. I got too caught up in the HUGE FUCKING tractor pull tires to realize that is was an Eddie fucking Bauer Edition pseudo Gravedigger. Is that it? Did you fail you monster truck driver's test you aggravating road hog. Yes, I hear your loud exhaust and smell it too since it is level with my windshield. It's also hard to miss the trail of avain death left in your wake smog machine. Yeah, I'm turning right now. Do us all a favor and keep driving in a staright line until you hit water you serious, serious, asshat. A bumper sticker that says my other truck is Big Foot would not be out of place on that either, hick.


BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Sarcastro: This I think is the Canadian build up Senator, a response to the Surge, a tightening of the borders between Alberta and the insurgents in the vast oil fields of the Yukon. Sectarian fighting is reported in Quebec. You have to understand these people are using the media to distract you from the upcoming wedding in Texas.

Un Chien Andalou

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @BalknChain: Fuck the liriope while we're thinking of spidery plants. (both green and variegated varieties)

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Bell County: Whiiiite.

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @SarahHeartburn: I think you're right.

@rosaluxembourgeoise: I think you mean "little i." But anyway, OK...

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
-- the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @skahammer: @moff: Strunk you. Strunk him. Strunk it all.

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I'm still seething that Myanmar cannot send Henry and Jenna an RSVP, or at least an email, with Henry and George putting up a limestone temple in Texas, or was that the polygamists, anywho, and email would have been nice.

Un Chien Andalou

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: OMG! My Mom has learned how to post!

blix

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @skahammer: Sorry, I disagree. For one, writing short is harder than writing long, so I'm hugely unimpressed with him from a purely craft-related standpoint. For two, when you're giving advice to someone, I think you have a responsibility to be as concise as possible -- by definition, whoever's writing you is conflicted and/or confused, and I don't see how carrying on at length about things you don't know (like what's going on in someone's mind) instead of just addressing the behavior helps alleviate that confusion.

I mean, Dan Savage and many other advice columnists have done a perfectly good job of developing their voices without it being at the expense of clarity.

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: Thanks for destroying my all-Canadians-are-very-nice theory.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: Wow, it's enought to induce swooning. It think the only thing that did not receive a direct "fuck you" were spider plants.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff: I think that's just a void.

This

is

a gulf.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @SarahHeartburn: @moff:
Lower case "i", please.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: That's totally bumping Garfield off the refrigerator door.

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @SarahHeartburn: I would have gone with...

I marvel
at the gulf
between the language                        and the event.

...and put, like, actual gulfs in. Because WHOA.

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff: But that's just the point. If you want your advice in an Ann Landers style, the year 1975 is always going to be there for you in back issues of your local broadsheet.

I don't love this particular piece of Cary's, but in general his idiosyncratic efforts to write an advice column in an original voice are in-bounds and deserve the benefit of the doubt.

skahammer

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Un Chien Andalou: Spectacular in its scope and breadth. They really put some thought into it. I'd like to have seen mimes called out too, but we can't have everything.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @SarahHeartburn: Are you in the DC area?

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Looks like Cary's gunning for the Unethicist gig. Someone should tell the poor dear that Denton's over it.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> It´s all a question of the space bar and the shift key:

I marvel
at the gulf
between the language and the event.
Perhaps
this language indicates
the gulf between
your world
and hers as well,
and between the full
horror
of
what
happened
and our willingness to imagine the full horror of what happened.

(That Washington Post kids' poetry contest is mine.)

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> off of toronto craigslist last week
best of craigslist > toronto > I hate all of you
Originally Posted: Sun, 20 Apr 23:50 EDT

I hate all of you

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-04-20, 11:50PM EDT

I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or whom you've fucked.

I hate you all. I hate every last living, breathing, snot and feces producing, promiscuously copulating, celebrity obsessed, opinionated one of you. From right here in Toronto right around the planet and back, coast to coast, nationwide and internationally. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. You.

Fuck love. Fuck your insipid grasping at some abstract concept of chemical imbalances and reasonless actions, fumbling around in the crowd trying to find some cinematic supposition for real human interaction. Fuck lust, too. Fuck you all, from the lowlife dirtbags that think dropping trou and waving the little soldier in a sloppy arc is a pick-up line to the sniveling of the desperate 'nice guys' who never get the girl due to a total lack of testosterone grown stones. Fuck you all, from the crazy, under dressed sluts that judge a persons character by the price of their shirt, right down to the fat, flabby chicks that think personality is enough.

Fuck you drivers, for thinking that a yellow light is a sign that says 'step on the gas'. Fuck you wheelmen and women that think it's okay to sit in a left hand turn in the middle of morning traffic, even though there is a protected left in the intersections before and after where you need to make your turn. Fuck you too cyclists - you're not exempt from the traffic laws just because your peddling, you miserable spandex covered neon reflective fucks. Fuck you too, pedestrians. Use the fucking crosswalk if you don't want to get hit, and use it before the little countdown clock says '3'. You don't have enough goddamn time to lope across four lanes of traffic.

Fuck you chick on your cellphone. Fuck you attitude packed minimum-wager that makes my coffee. Fuck you cops that spend all their time handing out speeding tickets. Fuck you douche bag doing ten over the limit in the passing lane on the highway. Fuck you lady using exact change at the counter at the grocery store. Fuck you kids having a conversation in the doorway. And fuck you also for not getting the fuck out of your designated handicapped seat when a pregnant or elderly person gets on the fucking bus.

Fuck taxes. Fuck welfare. Fuck the whole selfish, over politicized and party driven government system. I'm sick and fucking tired of policies and new laws with seven hundred bylaws that nobody but you and your cabinet reads. Fuck you councilors and your stupid 'district improvement' plans. Fuck you unions, for asking for so much and giving nothing more that what you already give. Fuck the whole process that allows people who are supposed to be working for us work for interests that only benefit the next campaign. Fuck your short-sightedness, your rush to the bandwagons, and your incessant arguing over fuck all. Fuck the parties, fuck the conventions, and fuck your campaigns. Do some real fucking work for a change.

Fuck you bottles of water. You're water. You're not worth two fucking dollars.
Fuck you trendsetters, fuck you fashionistas. Fuck your little dogs and and your idiotic outfits. Fuck your high heels in the snow. Fuck your five dollar coffees and your fifteen dollar veggie burgers. Fuck your health kick, your diet or your fucking new interest in kickboxing or sushi.

Fuck your culture. Fuck your race. Fuck your sense of entitlement. Fuck your sense of uniqueness. Fuck you all for the belief that you have something unique and interesting to contribute. Fuck you for filling the internet with your useless garbage. Fuck your blogs, your wikis, your forums. Fuck your name calling. And most of all, fuck whatever you believe. It's all wrong. Fuck it.

Fuck your complaints. Fuck your addictions. Fuck your dependencies. Fuck your pain. Fuck your tears. Fuck selling whatever it is you sell. Fuck your manipulation of others. Fuck movies. Fuck fucking. Fuck everything you own. Fuck your allergies. Fuck your stupid commons sense. Fuck your spelling and fuck your lack of education, or your ignorance, whatever is applicable.

I don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up and just get on with it.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 649999147

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright © 2008 craigslist, inc. terms of use privacy policy feedback forum





Un Chien Andalou

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise: niiiiiiiiiice

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Botswana Meat Commission FC: Sigh. He has one.

[www.carytennis.com]

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @TedSez: Well, it is the breakfast of champions.

tunamelt

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Bell County: If my new movie gig in Bushdick doesn't pan out, I'm thinking about it.

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @scroll_lock: "Your friend's probably thinking, 'Fuck it. Who cares? No one will find out. I'm invincible. I'll be a reporter at the Times someday.' What your friend fails to realize is that everything eventually gets discovered. Oh, it will be cozy for a while. She'll start writing for some left-leaning website, maybe an advice column, but her eyes will stay on that NYT prize. That is, until one day, when she overhears co-workers joking about her last name, something about 'Tonsil Tennis' and a 'Marine Grand Slam.' Then, her dreams of escape will go up in a cloud of smoke. She'll start sniffing heroin again, and soon thereafter, she'll be in such a dark place that she'll start e-mailing co-workers pictures of herself blowing new Marines with subject lines like 'Check out this volley' and 'Love - 15 (inches!).' Sure, this is the way she'll end up dead, but it will be the only way she can feel alive."

Nard

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @scroll_lock: PFC? I thought he was a lance corporal.

ronbo

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I love that Cary goes right to a gang bang. Boo-ya, bitch, boo-ya!

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @moff: Well said. You should be an editor.

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> One out-of-control Friday night post leads to shame and humiliation and fuck it all, who the fuck cares now, might as well get out of control again on the weekend because my friends don't even know that I spend so much fucking time on Gawker, so fuck them too, they must not care about me, and since they don't care about me I must be pretty worthless, and if I'm worthless you're worthless too, you shit, we're all worthless, so what if I have followed commenters and come to regret it later, some fucker should have been there to protect me from from myself, too. So fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all.

This is the way we end up with a star.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I heart Cary. He may be a nut but he's OUR nut.

Our Lady of the Massacre

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> They're all like this. If anyone ever read his column past the first paragraph -- or read Salon at all, for that matter -- they'd see that this guy's advice is nuttier than Mr. Blue on a gram of Powdermilk 'Shrooms.

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> This brightened my day. Really.

Bof

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> It's honestly mind-boggling how Tennis can take more than 1,400 words to say what it used to take Ann Landers fewer than 100 to say: "Your friend is putting her boyfriend in serious danger by not being honest with him about her behavior. Sit her down and tell her that if she won't speak to him about it, you will. Yes, this may end the friendship, but there are more important things at stake. She needs to speak to a qualified counselor. If she's unwilling to make an appointment herself, you may want to consider getting in touch with her parents. Whatever you do, please don't abandon your friend at this time -- she needs you."

And this, Cary, is why I don't like you: Because your answers are just as much about your unreadable, rambling, stream-of-consciousness navel-gazery as they are about helping the people who write you. Sorry, man.

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Projecting, much?

tunamelt

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I dig the XXX eyebrows.

nightwatchman_flamekeeper

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> this sounds like a Gawker commenter's (i.e., Hamud) eloquent proselytizing about the gulf between the shallow & deep, the pithy & the sesquipedalian reply

minx

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I am copying all of this for my Gossip Girl spec script -- but don't tell!

Colonel Mustard

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> So - XXX Eyebrows do lead to XXX thoughts then.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> God has a hard-on for marines because they bang everything they see! Hoo-RAH!

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> He's having flashbacks to his *own* one hazy night in a hotel room with Marines story. Still hurts, eh big guy? The worst part is, that PFC said he'd call and he never did.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Wait...is Cary a Marine?

Lonesome_George

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I guess he writes his own masturbation porn.

whoneedslight

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> I can also read minds and what her friend thinking now is "Cary is a crazy-ass motherf*#@er."

Koreanish

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Hope Cary hasn't driven the advice-seeker to suicide with this kind of crazy talk.

Helman

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Please don't ever let him find out about FnFF. I feel so cheap.

blix

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Now I want to see Cary's advice to Priya Venkatesan.

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> This guy is a total lunatic.

meerkat

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Someone just give him a book deal so he'll shut the fuck up already.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> he can't help but think that way... I mean his cartoon face just SCREAMS XXX giant head hardcore fetish. he can relate... or just really, really wants to.

plus he got to type a couple f-bombs. SO naughty! teehee!

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Well, when It Absolutely, Positively Must Be DESTROYED Overnight -- Call The USMC. And, when it absolutely be given crazy talk advice, call Cary.

Jenniferhdaniel

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @BalknChain: A clusterfuck?

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> She was just supporting the troops. That's called patriotism, goddammit.

tunamelt

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Good thing Cary wasn't around in the war years! One night stand with a Marine was considered civic duty back in those bad ole days.

ThereMustBeAPony

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> @Sarcastro: ha!

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> He's like the nutty, sweetly overconcerned grandfather we all want to punch in the balls.

moff

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> well fuck me..

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> Holy fuck.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA["Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist]]> ow. OW.

thwarted

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