<![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @workandgirl: Or I need to stop stalking Javier Bardeem on Facebook, LOL!

themediatrix

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Phipsidude: The girls love that one.

oneinsixbillion

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> The typing a period thing worked for me. My list was an alphabetical list of my friends four of whom contacted me first. The odd thing was that one friend who was missing from that list should have been at the top of the list because her name begins with A.

Riddle me that one.

Mean_Ol_Liberal

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @vulturesquadron: I love this and want to stalk you on Facebook now as a result.

Gazelle

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @themediatrix: you my friend, are thinking too much about your non-facebook activities.

workandgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> WTF -- mine says "Hitler".

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @cassandra: K, just making sure

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @CodePink: Yes.

cassandra

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> The five people that show up on mine are all from Alaska and have green eyes and red hair and a sense of irony and two cats and a sumptuous brownie recipe and all singlehandedly defeated their junior high soccer teams in an afterschool brawl behind a closed pharmacy on the outskirts on town underneath at 4:35 pm on August 12, 1993. COINCIDENCE??

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @roboticcowboy: That works!

cassandra

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @ediddy: I am getting that too.

@Mulatta:1. "Someone I'm desperate to sleep with, and who may or may not be desperate to sleep with me."
Interestingly, all five of mine are really cute guys with whom I have will-we-or-won't-we type friendships. If they're stalking me, I can live with it.

cassandra

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Aw poo. Mine are listed alphabetically, starting with some band I never listened to but friended that begins with a "-".

TheGreenBastard

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> now I'm getting an alphabetical list of my friends starting at Aa

rognbrow

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Meant "his," not the title of a very enjoyable Frank McCourt memoir.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Hiphopopotamus:

But...The List is Life!!!

(I thought Ben Kingsley deserved an Oscar nomination for tis role in that movie. Don't think he got one.)

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @HeyThatsMyBike:

I still only get two.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @roboticcowboy: Ok never mind. It stopped working. Facebook secrettts

pearl

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Hmm mine was coming up all alphabetical too, but then I started searching for someone, deleted the field, did the period and the list of the five came up again. These are all people I talk to on a fairly regular basis so I don't know what the connection is, as compared with everyone else's stories.

pearl

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @snappy9693: Doubtful, especially considering my facebook 5 was mainly comprised of hot babes that I am pretty sure don't have much interest in me.

The problem is that we're a bunch of silly obsessive fucks who spend way too much time on the internet.

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Snowbunny:

As is looking at time stamps on articles.

EleventoyourSeven

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> well at first, it was ppl i used to stalk, and was gratified to know stalk me, but now it's just alphabetical listings. seems like it was true.

snappy9693

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> It's still working on my antiquated desktop.

fayettenam

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Uh, unless my top five stalkers are also the top five people alphabetically, then this stalker feature is failing me.

Sunbunny

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Hythloday:
I could do quite well without ever again seeing the people I met while drunk and lonely.

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @shitty pitty:
Jesus is the face in Facebok and soon all the apostles will appear on our dropdown menus?

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Okay. It was gone. It switched to alphabetical by first name. Now it's back to the 5 who allegedly view my page the most. Hmmmm?

ediddy

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I smell the premise to Dan Brown's next novel.

shitty pitty

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Hasn't been working for me (got five "Aaron"s) until right now:

1) Ex-girlfriend
2) Ex-girlfriend
3) Ex-girlfriend
4) Former professor who is young and maybe gay?
5) Facebook stalker of me

I definitely do my fair share of stalking 1, 2 & 3 but not 4 & 5. However StalkBook is computing this it yields interesting results indeed.

UnreliableNarrator

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> so basically, this is the connectedness index. where is my facebook star, most likely brought to you by starbucks?

mydeadgayson

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Does anyone have someone they're not Facebook friends with show up on your list?

OrthoStice1

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Hythloday: That "secret algorithm is sounding more and more like a goddamn gremlin.

shitty pitty

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Shariahpants: You're a few hours late showing up to the party. There was something else going on earlier today.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @hortense:
Mine too. Instead of five friends I've chatted with recently, I get three or them plus one friend I haven't talked to in months and another I've never chatted with.

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> it's only the first five people in your network in alphabetical order, but nice try on gaining more traffic for your site.

Shariahpants

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I got a completely different list of people on my home computer than I did at work... I'm back to the 'the list means nothing' theory.

Hiphopopotamus

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I'm confused...all that shows up now is a picture of a tater tot.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> i cant believe i missed it! my work has fb blocked, so by the time i got home to test this out, everything was alphabetical.

can someone please find a loophole, gawker's got me all curious now.

curiousgal

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @shitty pitty: Clearly, the secret algorithm gives more weight to the people you search for when drunk and lonely.

Hythloday

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @BalknChain: INDEED!

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Alas, all A's for myself as well. Couldn't they at least be creative have some of us come up with Z's? I have at 2 or 3 of those in my friend list.

Goodbye top/special/stalkerish? Five. You'll live forever in my heart.

shitty pitty

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> LIES!!!!! this zuckerfuck response is a load of crap. weirdest part is, my #2 is some married-with-child-at-23 girl from minnesota who i've barely met.

HyphyForLifey

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> jesus was my #1, damn

msgraves

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I get A's now, also. Boo.

tunamelt

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @JB4GDI: Agreed! It's the first five people with "a" as the first letter of their first name.

jungle

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> yea - it looks like they fixed it so it just gives people in alphabetical now.

drunkenbeggar

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Mine is just the first five people in alphabetical order (by first name).

JB4GDI

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> It is done.

freeflushots

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> MY FIVE PPL
1. a friend who works for limewire (!!!)
2. my boyfriend
3. my photographer bff
4. a former coworker who i've known a few months, tops
5. a guy in la i never have met who has a crush on me

?? maybe these are the ppl you meet in heaven.

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I'm guessing the secret equation was something like (# of times you've search friend) x (# of times they've searched you) within, say, the last month. You also probably had to have sent them a message or posted on their wall at some point. That's a crude but fairly reasonable way to approximate mutual interest and interaction between people.

Facebook also needs to make sure shit like this doesn't happen again. I'm not sure how widely known this bug or feature was, but I wouldn't be surprised if it caused a measurable uptick in deactivations. People need to know that their stalking patterns won't be accidently made public at random times.

decoherence

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @The Dewd: Is it time to play subway hopscotch?

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> To all of the a-listers: I opened up Safari, and got that. But it still shows the old one on Firefox. Mine are:
1) Girl I've had a crush on the entire semester. (fb contact limited to me sending incoherent messages at 4 am/ while fucked up on an almost monthly basis, wall posts about getting tea, which always ends up being a multiple week process)
2) Roommate/ best friend (fb contact: far too many links and snarky comments on each other's walls)
3) Friend who has provided all of the new tagged photos of me in the past two months, but whose wall I've never written on
4) Doppelganger best friend whose wall I post on semi-frequently
5) Good friend (but little fb contact)
Person #1 tends me to believe that it's who I search for the most, but I've never looked up #3. Eh.

luckyjim

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Why is it no longer OK to check if my ex has given someone a superior plant on their Lil Green Patch? I need to know where the line gets drawn.

Cher_Horowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @shitty pitty: er, well, must admit, still refresh his profile at least once a day at work. possibly twice.

goodgodno

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @The Dewd: Uh, that's "too LadlySacked to handle it"!

LadlySack

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Is it weird that I am a little broken hearted about this? I spent all day thinking that my crush was looking at me. Ugh.

lola.wilde

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @goodgodno: @Hythloday: Why does facebook insist that so many of ex's are still the most important people in our lives. If we have to move on, shouldn't we expect the same from facebook?

shitty pitty

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I've never been more proud to be a Gawker commenter than the day when Facebook has to disable a feature because we're too retarded to handle it

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I noticed that my five stalkers' profiles have a lot of television, movies and music in common with the bullshit on my profile. I think it accounts for both the good friends and people I barely know. Anyone else?

McMurphy

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Lazy Susan: Yep, mine has gone all 'A' list now.

This is more fun than watching Wikipedia updates go nuts when Steve Irwin died.

Lazy Susan

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I love my list:

1. The sorority girl I'm ashamed I'm interested in.
2. My friend I bike with.
3. My activist friend at Brown who I haven't seen in 5 years.
4. My old editor-in-chief.
5. My old school's resident hipster.

keram2

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @vulturesquadron: Heh!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> 1. An ex whose profile I stopped obsessively lurking months ago.
2. My best friend.
3. A random (and hot!) acquaintance.
4. Someone I frequently lurk but don't know in real life. Also hot!
5. A guy I went on one date with a while ago.

So... am I to gather that my ex is still in love with me and I can ask those two sexy randos out if I want to? I hate when Facebook toys with my emotions.

Hythloday

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @crazyk: me too, all a's. and i guarantee these people could care less about me.

NoteToElse

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @hortense: my roommate is getting the same thing, but i still have:
1. my ex
2. my brother
3. another brother
4. my best friend
5. my college roommate

goodgodno

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @hortense: "I think they are working on dismantling our back door!"

Greatest out of context line ever!

LadlySack

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Don Is: Mine is doing the same thing! Bastards!

BeAgrestic

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I get five people who's name starts with A, ordered alphabetically, which is what has always happened as I remember. Nothing to see here...

knorby

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Ok- my list has changed.

When I type a period in the box, I now get the first 5 people in alphabetical order on my friends list. A whole bunch of A's.

I think they are working on dismantling our back door!

hortense

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Typical Facebook feature cycle:

1) Offer users secret inscrutable yet suspicious "feature".

2) Mismanage public relations outcry.

3) Remove "feature" and scuttle back under pile of hundred dollar bills.

4) Have a prom.

vulturesquadron

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @In Other News...: @Conbon: @Don Is: This is 10 kinds of fabulous...

LadlySack

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> OK, now they are just fucking with us. I logged out of facebook, quit Safari and relaunched. Did the . thing again and now my list of five are all people whose name begins with 'a'. Anybody else try this?

Don Is

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Conbon: Proceed.

LadlySack

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Don Is: It's my favorite promo music from the NBA Playoffs coverage on ABC circa 2005!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I think I'm going to fire up my ipod and put "Let's get LadlySacked" on repeat.

Don Is

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @RocketRockit: formerly my bestfriend's roommate. But I'm definitely going to think of someone to refer to as "the formerly hot" so and so now. Time to log on to facebook again!

shitty pitty

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @arguablythemostfamous: I have 4 siblings. Only one of them made the list.

@In Other News...: Using adjectives as nouns is LadlySacked.

@LoveHandles:

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @shitty pitty: Is this person formerly hot or formerly your best friend's roommate? Humor me.

RocketRockit

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> "The now-suspended feature used a complex algorithm developed by elves and sock puppets sewn from LOLCat whiskers and made to receive directions from the former dictator Idi Amin via intravenous tubes. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this purely accidental invasion of your and everyone else's privacy this may have caused and wish the Gawker commenters well in their efforts to find a better, less sieve-like social network such as the one provided by the insular, incompetent and insouciant little pricks at Facebook."

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Conbon: "Alternate," LadlySack will say. "No, alternative, you LadlySack!" Conbon will say, as we nod in agreement.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> way to sidestep, zuck... the more they deny the more I must know! why do these people seem to be the most important to me?

the club photographer I made out with for a couple weeks almost a year ago is among the most important people to me? and my sister isn't?

maybe facebook analyzed my interests and was able to detect how out of whack my priorities are. I gotta get myself together. thanks for the kick in the ass, facebook!

arguablythemostfamous

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> 1. My Ex - Ok, fine, I admit it, I originally signed up for facebook solely to keep tabs on this person, as their blog and myspace account was simply not enough.

2. My Bestfriend - He's only been on facebook for like a month. How can facebook figure out he's my best that fast?

3. My Other Bestfriend - Maybe do to the vulgarity of the messages we spend to each other?

4. One of my Favorite Drinking Buddies - Because facebook knows I'm a problem drinker?

5. My Bestfriend's Former Hot Roommate - I'm pretty sure i've never messaged this person in my life.

shitty pitty

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Conbon: all in favor, make no comment. It is done.

LoveHandles

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @YourWildHorses: I even did the option key symbols.

Don Is

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Don Is: How many Gawker commenters entered every symbol on their keyboard into the Facebook search box today?

YourWildHorses

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Lazy Susan: Does anyone have a burnt stick? I need to poke it in my eye.

Lazy Susan

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Wow, five dudes. Awesome.

j.blo

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> The connecting fact for my five is that I've written on their wall.

Lazy Susan

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @LadlySack: "Retard" is offensive. Let's use its synonym "LadlySack" as an alternative.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @LadlySack: But the stalkers maaaaan.... the stalkers!

LoveHandles

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> 1. A good friend who I have been talking to a lot on Facebook.
2. My fiance's friend from high school. (!)
3. My ex-boyfriend.
4. My fiance.
5. A good friend who I see all the time.

Besides # 2, "the people most important to you" thing actually kind of makes sense for me, I guess.

Kim Kelly

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Thanks for your interest in this feature. Unfortunately, for security reasons I am unable to provide specific details about this formula. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please let me know if you have any further questions.

Thanks,

Quinton
User Operations
Facebook

That's the reply you get when you try to delve in to Facebook's secrets.

Security reasons? V V V strange

wally13

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> 1) A close friend; I probably comment her profile more than any other.
2) My best friend
3) Best friend from college
4) Other best friend from college
5) My ex-boyfriend's good friend??

WTF @ #5??? I definitely look at the first four profiles on a regular basis, but the profile I look at most is the ex-boyfriend in question. Oh, wait, he deleted my facebook friendship. NOW HE'LL NEVER KNOW THAT I STILL STALK HIM. My list is basically the profiles I look at the most. How anticlimatic.

ForTheCaptain

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Postcript to the statement:
Beginning tomorrow, Facebook will change its name to Farcebook.

MrInBetween

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @LadlySack: And don't forget the hits from those disproportionately angered by A THREAD ON GAWKER

Mulatta

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Bummer. Jesus was on my list.

cosmiclove

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Khrushchev: I hate that I agree with you, but feel that I'm a sham if I dont step forward to concur.

SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Hamilton is a freaking genius.

He's figured out the key to the Denton/Gawker money-making pyramid scheme: post 8 times on Facebook and watch the pageviews (and profits) grow exponentially as a gaggle of retards frantically discusses the other retards (nee "friends") who supposedly care about them online.

Brilliant.

LadlySack

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> 1. Someone I'm desperate to sleep with, and who may or may not be desperate to sleep with me
2. My best friend's little brother
3. One of my students
4. A sort-of friend who tagged me in a photo
5. Same best friend's dad (creepy)

Mulatta

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> "The search drop down is also not a list of the feral cats you named as a kid to prove to you mom that you had friends. It is also not the five secret members of the 1948 Vorsprung Collective. And it most certainly is not your new bicycle. We hope this clears things up."

-Mark Zuckerberg

Don Is

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Can I say, politely, that this makes no fucking sense. How about explain the formula for this? And when have I ever said, "you know what would make my facebook experience so much easier? If only I could click the search box and press the down arrow key and have 5 seemingly random people appear from a mysterious formula that makes absolutely no sense"? They're trying to cover their asses, methinks.

LoveHandles

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Can't we all just go back to stalking people the old way? You know the good old days, before *69 when you could call and hang up over and over again. Let's not forget the stalkers who actually came to your house and bothered you.

Is it really stalking if your looking at someones facebook page? I think not.

SpoiledGirlieGirl

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> That was supposed to be 'sliding,' of course, and should in no way be construed as an endorsement of White Castle.

Hipp

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> if you type "-+" into the search box, Facebook sends a friend request from matter to anti-matter, who then accepts the request. After a long drawn-own poke war, they decide to meet in Central Park near Ronaldinho's evil, incense-burning twin. After twenty minutes of slider ever-closer to each other on the cement embankment overlooking people rowing their boats backwards, they finally make physical contact, creating an explosion that incinerates most of our solar system. Except, ironically, for Pluto, which goes from demoted planet to sole solar system survivor in the blink of an eye.

However, typing "+-" into the search box teleports you onto your front stoop without your keys, forcing you to wait for three hours until one of your roommates--"who all have real jobs," the voice of your mother says--comes home and lets you in. 'Well,' you think, 'at least I didn't end up spending the whole day on the internet.'

Hipp

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Dude. Seriously.

LadlySack

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @RocketRockit: Also, these people are all actual Facebook friends of me and I've only searched three of them ever.

RocketRockit

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> These are my five people:
1. Fake boyfriend
2. Personal trainer
3. Guy who I used to work on my college lit mag with, had a huge crush on, who subsequently turned our sham of a fucking pseudo-relationship into a short film starring his GIRLFRIEND AS ME!!!
4. Sort of friend I have not spoken to in a year
5. Sort of friend I have not spoken to in four years

Someone explain this now.

RocketRockit

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> i seriously can't imagine the importance of the first on my list. a hollywood agent who i knew in highschool? at least my best friend is 2nd i guess.

chip

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @CarolKat: you need twitter!!

themediatrix

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Don Is: "Friends who are also siblings", a niece, a nephew, and your mom? Dude, your family is STALKING YOU. Or else you don't have any friends outside of your immediate family (which is just as creepy).

procrastinator, esq.

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @workandgirl: Your lack of capitalization led me to read that as "why can't i lick on this clist of people."

themediatrix

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Trick also works with ', ", -, and @

Don Is

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> I call bull shit. While I could see two of the people on my list being people I'd accumulate as "most important", I sure as hell can't place the other three.

quadrophenia718

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> They are the five people you will meet in Heaven.

Incher_George

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @Khrushchev: agreed.
Here's a theory: they used some of the answers you filled in to the various fields to 'match' you with people. can't explain all the entries in my five, but at least a couple. so maybe that's one of the factors they use to find 'the person you're looking for.'

must log off and take my obsessive thoughts into a bar.

CarolKat

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Their statement kind of reminds me of what happens when I ask my wife what she wants to eat and she proceeds to tell me what she doesn't want.

My list of five seems completely random. Two of them are friends who are also siblings. Two of them are a niece and a nephew. And the last one is my mom. Yes, my mom.

Don Is

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> also "-" works too

Phipsidude

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> @ Fitnes: Ha! Good one.

Let's also not forget: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Select, Start

Phipsidude

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> These are not even remotely the most important people to me. 4/5 of them I barely know. I CALL YOUR BLUFF, ZUCK!

HeyThatsMyBike

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> stupid. these people are not people I'm interested in. at all. and I don't visit their page often, I am not in any pictures with them, I don't post on their wall or message or poke them.
I don't get it. It's too random and they need to explain it, not just take it away!

kateb2637

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> But WHY won't they tell us how they determine who the most important people are? This is the single most pressing question of my week.

Khrushchev

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> why can't i click on this list of people. it defeats that "smart" feature if you can't even click.

workandgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> If you type down, forward, back, back, C, Liu Kang will turn into a dragon and eat the other person's torso.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Incompetent Facebook Leaves Open Back Door To Stalker Feature]]> Well that's dumb.

stvspl

]]>