The American Idol Finale, Part 1 - Gawker Comments

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Aatom — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:02:20 EDT

I honestly don't follow this show, but I did see Cowell on Ellen the other day basically calling the whole contest for Cook, so I'm not sure how he could reasonably be viewed as biased in the adorable little moppet's favor.

Aatom

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

dummyfakeroller — Wed, 21 May 2008 16:58:58 EDT

This is the year of really close elections, isn't it? Between all of the media coverage of the Dem nominee and American Idol, my faith in humanity has been restored. People will fight for their candidate, damn it.

dummyfakeroller

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

plasticene — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:59:42 EDT

Did anyone else hear Randy say it was 2007?
David Cook is the winner in my eyes. No competition. The judges seem to be sucking up to Archie for the youth vote. I disagree.
Cook = Best Ever.

plasticene

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

jasonelias — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:13:30 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: Ruben sure does have a great voice. He's actually improved since his season on the show.

jasonelias

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Pope John Peeps II — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:00:49 EDT

@misterdirk: You know, every time someone got voted off that show, I heard this really amazing voice start singing "please celebrate me home".

And then one episode (was it last night? or the one before?) they brought him out and it was RUBEN STUDDARD. That gentleman has a serious voice. SERIOUS. HIS performance was outstanding. His was the only real idol performance of the night.

Seriously. That guy's really got chops.

Pope John Peeps II

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

misterdirk — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:41:24 EDT

19/Cowell WANT to give Archie the $1 million cuz they know he'll NEVER sell a CD, but has the better voice, and ratings are plunging. After the embarrassments of Taylor Hicks (dropped by 19), Katherine McPhee (dropped by 19), and Ruben Studdard (dropped by 19), an Archuleta loss will hurt ratings next year. Whereby EVERYBODY knows Cook is pre-ordained by Clive to go the Daughtry route and shit millions opening up for Bon Jovi the rest of his life. Archuleta will get the mil, get cast in High School Musical as Zacquisha's BFF or some shit, then it's OVAH.

misterdirk

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

PrincessKashmir — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:20:26 EDT

My grammar was stupendously horrible just now.

PrincessKashmir

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

PrincessKashmir — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:19:22 EDT

All I know is, there has to be something truly awful about David Archuleta for my mom to find him repulsive, the arbiter of taste who loved Sanjaya and owns every album Josh Groban and Livingston Taylor has ever made.

PrincessKashmir

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Goober_Pea — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:14:19 EDT

@MisoMysterious: Nobody is allowed to touch you in places covered by your truth.

Goober_Pea

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

dietcokeandfries — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:12:21 EDT

D. Cook was rocking some serious Something About Mary hair. Eww.

dietcokeandfries

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Fishnets and Cigarettes — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:49:09 EDT

@MrInBetween: I was trying to forget that boxing theme. ugh. Where's MY vicodin cocktail, dammit???

Fishnets and Cigarettes

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

MisoMysterious — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:34:01 EDT

Someone was standing in my truth today and it made my stomach feel funny.

MisoMysterious

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Mackintosh-Typos — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:32:00 EDT

This kid scares the fuck out me. He isn't real! If this were Blade Runner, he'd be retired!

Mackintosh-Typos

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

kookla — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:11:06 EDT

Of course David Cook picked "Dream Big" which I imagine is what he does with that huge melon head of his. And when Randy said that Archie was what the show was all about, I loved how he thought that was a compliment.

kookla

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Goober_Pea — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:10:42 EDT

@collegecallgirl: That would be like the autograph that keeps on giving.

@MrInBetween: All the shows keep talking about how overwhelmed Archie seemed. Um, I'm pretty sure that look of vacancy is just his default position. His dad will probably fit him with a shock collar for tonight to make sure he produces some tears.

Goober_Pea

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

MrInBetween — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:04:17 EDT

The Chimp Boy is horrendous, and the grading on a curve that he has repeatedly enjoyed from RandyPaulaSimon has annoyed me. "You're on fire!" Paula swooned. On fire? He's got the sexual pizazz of a newt. Chimp Boy's I'm stoned voice when he speaks is horrific, and his choice of songs -- remember that torturous, unknown Australian pop song he belted out? -- shows he has zero range. Having said all that, he was brilliant last night. Each song topped the previous one, and he'll be crowned tonight even if Cook wins the vote total because the producers are invested in this 17-year-old kid, despite his jackass father. I agree with the comment that he is barely Perry Como, and I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up being an opening act for Cook in 10 years.

David Cook will be fine. He's damn good, much more talented than Chimp Boy. But he did seem as if he was texting in his performances last night (with the exception of the U2 opener). Clearly, he didn't want to be the skunk at Chimp Boy's Coronation. That's how nice the ex-bartender is!

PS: The boxing theme of last night's show -- including the cliched musings of a shriveled Jim Lampley -- saddled me with a migrane that lingers today.

MrInBetween

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:51 EDT

@collegecallgirl: I love that he can spell chlamydia. CROSSWORDS!

DorothyMantooth

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

MisterHippity — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:49:28 EDT

@collegecallgirl: Hey, welcome back! Where the hell of you been?

MisterHippity

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

collegecallgirl — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:48:11 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Whatever, it's cool with me if you guys love chlamydia.

collegecallgirl

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Goober_Pea — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:44:37 EDT

@NobodyLikesMe, DorothyMantooth: Now now now ladies. ccg is right. Which I why I will be the one to console him in his time of need. Just sacrficing the body for the team here kids.

Goober_Pea

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:39:03 EDT

@Goober_Pea: Simon winks at people all the time! I'm pretty sure it was because Simon meant his "David is one of the nicest contestants we've ever had" to defuse any backlash at Cook's "this is journey; I didn't want to repeat songs" line of crap.

And again I'm overthinking this!!

@fiveinchtaint: NERD!

@NobodyLikesMe: I, too, would fuck the shit out of him. Shut it, CCG!

DorothyMantooth

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

BK_KT — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:38:48 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I love the nights when Paula gets an EXTRA strong batch of Vicodin cocktail juice for her Coca-Cola cup.

BK_KT

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

dandles — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:38:09 EDT

I have said horrible things about Mon Chi Chi every chance I could get, and have been criticized it on these boards. He killed it last night, though. And when I say I really don't like him, boy do I mean it. I just don't see how they're going to sell him. It seems like he can't do contemporary music that might appeal to the tweens, and who will want to hear a 17 year-old sing bland ballads?

David Cook is great, and again, wasn't praised enough. I think on the original song, he seemed like someone who COULD sell a new song we hadn't heard, even a crappy one. He will have a great career, but middle America is totally going to vote for the Chi.

dandles

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

truthie — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:36:44 EDT

I think it's all part of some diabolical plan to make Archie the king of Christian inspirational music. He is perfect for that genre. And trust me, that is where he will end up if he wins.

Jesus take the wheel!

truthie

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

collegecallgirl — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:28:06 EDT

@NobodyLikesMe: Ew. I remain convinced he would give you a mean case of the itchy crotchies.

collegecallgirl

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

fiveinchtaint — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:27:31 EDT

@Goober_Pea: It's all the fucking Millennials' fault!

fiveinchtaint

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

fiveinchtaint — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:26:26 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I'm not sure - his shield of dull wholesomeness has the strength of a starship fleet.

I can't believe I said that.

fiveinchtaint

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Fishnets and Cigarettes — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:25:37 EDT

@Goober_Pea: But did anyone besides me think it looked like Simon gave Cook a wink after his rebuttal after his last song?

Cowell has been very open about his feelings that Cook is the more talented and original performer.

FWIW, SonyBMG has right of first refusal on record deals for each of the top 10 contestants, so the "loser" still wins. They will get their rock god AND their Tween King.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Fishnets and Cigarettes — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:22:20 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Archie can't put a sentance together, and he is painfully loathe to touch anyone, or have anyone touch him. Not even a handshake. He has tunnel vision for winning.

as for Cook, well, I'd like the chance to fuck him senseless.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Goober_Pea — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:19:19 EDT

Well, as for why they would want Archuleta to win, look at who is running the music world right now: Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, all that High School Musical crap. They are seeing dollar signs when they look at him. He wins and be becomes their little bitch, with his crazy hat wearing dad (hi, um you look like an ass - you are bald LIVE WITH IT) who will probably go DiLo on him.

But did anyone besides me think it looked like Simon gave Cook a wink after his rebuttal after his last song?

Goober_Pea

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:19:16 EDT

@NobodyLikesMe: But Seacrest made him do that! And Archie praised Cook first!
(Or else said that he thought they were both winners, or some such canned bullshit.)

DorothyMantooth

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

jasonelias — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:17:30 EDT

I swear Archie gets younger and younger, looks like he's aging backwards and shrinking even. By the time the finale rolls around he'll be microscopic.

jasonelias

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:17:25 EDT

@fiveinchtaint: I dunno, my friend. If he hasn't gotten hardened yet by the inevitable misanthropy that his dad engenders, I'm not sure any level of "fame" is gonna do it for him.

I'm totally predicting a nervous breakdown. 6 months? I'll take the over. But just barely.

@BK_KT: @Goober_Pea: Last night really was Paula's time to shine, wasn't it?
I really, really hope "standing in your truth" catches on!

DorothyMantooth

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Fishnets and Cigarettes — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:16:58 EDT

by the way, did anyone else catch that Cook himself praised the kid even before they both performed?

Fishnets and Cigarettes

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Fishnets and Cigarettes — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:13:12 EDT

Cook is better off losing: he will have a huge career singing whatever the hell he wants, rather than overproduced, management chosen pop songs. he won't b contractually obligated to be "American Idol", and monkey-boy will have to be.

I feel like I'm watching an entirely different show from everyone else. That kid is painful to look at, unattractive, and makes Perry Como seem lively. I'd vote for him only so his dad won't kick his ass.

And yes, i think Cook threw the contest. i think they all did.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Goober_Pea — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:12:45 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: As soon as they panned over to Paula, right at the beginning, I said, "OOO looks like it's a crazy night for Paula!!!"

Goober_Pea

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

Goober_Pea — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:10:57 EDT

David Cook was just overwhelming in his palpable passion last night. I can see how folks wouldn't get "The World I Know" because it wasn't obvious and demanding of your attention. It really was the most real, raw performance I've seen on that show in a while. However, I will say that Bitty Archie was probably the best he's been, at least for me. But I'm convinced that if you pinched his nose sound wouldn't come out, so that's not saying much.

What I think we saw last night was the difference between a singer and a musician. Archie can sing, but Cookie feels the music. According to my mother's yelling at the TV, Archie has no real soul in his singing, where as Cook has it. Archie emphasizes words thinking that infuses them with emotion, but I've gotten the impression many times that he has no clue what the lyrics mean. And that's my biggest pet peeve with these Idol singers.

Goober_Pea

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

nicepony — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:08:11 EDT

My theory is that David Cook will win....as they want him to...but by having praised David A, it won't seem fixed....Just that "America Voted," for Cook.

nicepony

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

fiveinchtaint — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:07:47 EDT

Archie is such a fantastic bore. The maniacal sorta-bowing and head shaking and almost crying when facing the judges is obnoxious. I hope he wins and gets hardened by the inevitable misanthropy his fame will bring.

fiveinchtaint

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

BK_KT — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:04:50 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: "Standing in your truth"!!!!!!!!!!! I died. Best moment of the night.

BK_KT

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

CheapCynicism — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:03:58 EDT

So, did they just replace the entire melody in that version of "Imagine" or something? Because I heard maybe three or four notes from the original.

CheapCynicism

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

paperpusher — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:01:19 EDT

Archie's monotone voice scares the piss out of me.

paperpusher

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:01:07 EDT

@collegecallgirl: I would say yes, but then I decided that his "This is a journey, and I just wouldn't feel right singing a song I had sung before" was maybe a KLC-like Machiavellian maneuver! (If only in a Freudian slip kind of way...)

I dunno. I think we might be verging on overthinking this whole thing a bit, no?

Also: perfunctory "standing in your truth" joke.

DorothyMantooth

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

collegecallgirl — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:54:48 EDT

Did anybody else get the feeling Cook threw it so as not to be seen publicly pounding a puppy-cute 17-year-old with teary eyes and angel dreams?

collegecallgirl

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:51:32 EDT

I DON'T KNOW!!
You would think that they woulda learned from the whole Daughtry thing that vanilla rockers (who, in this case, are also easy on the eyes, have a sympathetic brother-with-cancer backstory, and LIKE CROSSWORDS!) sell records!
(Or, erm, CDs or downloads or some shit.)

Archie's too young to be the next Clay Aiken.
(And someone please take the forever-in-the-closet joke inherent in that comparison and run with it!)

DorothyMantooth