<![CDATA[Funny Or Die - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> The problem with everything Julia Alison does is that she'd rather have attention than actually do the work it takes to make everything she does successful. Star Magazine is near death, yet it's editor-in-chief is out running around trying to.... promote herself. What the wanna-be affluent princess hopeful doesn't realize is that in the end, a deep need for constant attention and affirmation of being hot and fuckable has most of her real projects less than successful and after all her big name contacts she constantly publicizes knowing pull the condom off, her ability to deliver - which she has not on anything - is all that matters. Put the titties away Julia, they aint all that, and actually do the work. The looks aren't working, sweetie, because they're not there.

Invisibleline

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @raincoaster:

I could make a joke about beating off the Deadspin commenters (I'm one myself), but I'll refrain from stooping that low.

econdave

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> THE ONE INTERESTING ANGLE! Jesus, there are thousands!!!1! Julia's long search for true love comes first to mind. Whoring for cash comes second.

Contempty

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: Dear god, you didn't have to hold off the Deadspinners single-handed, did you? Epic.

raincoaster

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @econdave: No, that's just sad.

Curse_of_NursePornstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Julia Allison:

Now that, I will admit, is funny.

econdave

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Has Gawker gotten more boring lately? Trying to liven it up with articles or mentions of Julia Allison is not helping.

magic8ball

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: Thanks, Kaila. I'll say it must be an interesting and likely aggravating job at times.

@Julia Allison: Why do you read this? This right here is not good for you.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @econdave: No, you have it all wrong. My parents don't care either.

Julia Allison

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @RhymesWithShoes: YES! I do that too! @Codepink: This is is so embarassing to admit, but I had a fucking DREAM about Gawker commenting/commentors, Julia Allison, et al, after The Bipolar Disclosure. I don't remember any details, just that it involved my internet life. So, umm, yeahh...

BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: Good insights. Thanks for the info. I still wonder who is/was the Eric Bana fan on staff? (I got approved 7-11-07 with the comment "Those lips... those eyes" regarding Mr. Bana, as the celebrity I'd most like to shag)... or was that just my lucky day?

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @fiveinchtaint: these days, there are other extremely capable and helpful hands dipping into the comments moderation pot, yes. but when we first took the system live, for a tiny while, it was just me.

then i met the deadspin commenters, who spoke a language i did not, and the first reinforcements were called in.

Kaila Hale-Stern

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: bless you.

FracturedAcetabulum

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: Bless you!

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: Sorry, Kaila. It was a bad joke. I echo the praise of others. I'm curious, however, if you stand post for all of Gawker media or if each blog has its own security. I imagine it has to be the latter, because the former would be a bit much for one pair of hands to handle.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @karion, @DorothyMantooth, @Codepink: thank you! i just have the clicky buttons -- you guys are the ones doing Good Works all over this place.

@Chaim Gnadelstein: there're many factors as to who can comment, and that does shift and grow and evolve, too, with the sites and time. but the gawker approval has always been the hardest to come by, and i don't think that should change.

@fiveinchtaint: i don't see any record of that name in the system, so if you're not just messing with my comments-addled brain, have your friend hit me up at kaila [at] gawker [dot] com and we'll see what we can do.

Kaila Hale-Stern

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Has anyone been watching the news? I swear I see this girl every other time I tune in, on CNN, MSNBC, etc. and I don't even watch that often. And she says NOTHING. It's insane. She has that awful newscaster phony smile and mouth full o' veneers. She's not going anywhere, unfortunately. But I really don't give a shit about her or who she's dating. I do click because I like to see commenters tear her a new asshole but if a commenter boycott makes her disappear forever, I'm all for it.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I have read almost every mention of Julia Allison on Gawker in the past six months and I still am confused -- who is this person? Why does she matter? She doesn't appear to be famous, or extremely talented or even influential in society. I learned more information useful to my life from the Jezebel article the other day on large panties.

Flackette is a Red State Elitist

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Wrath of Farrakhan: You mean she's not already on that show?
(Seriously, they're all the same girl wearing different wigs, right?)

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> To be fair, I'm sure Julia thinks she's funny because her name was added to the dictionary definition of "joke."

Curse_of_NursePornstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @DorothyMantooth: You heard the rumor they're adding foxymoron Kristin Cavallieri to The Hills.

@TheHonJudgeSmails2: It's already happening. Gawker comments are slouching from 30 Rock to Studio 60. What's the opposite of Gomorrah?

Wrath of Farrakhan

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Former sex columnist? Does that mean TONY finally wised up and gave her the boot? Or are the going to continue to delude themselves that JA has her finger on the pulse of the NYC singles scene? If they haven't noticed yet, JA is not nearly as typical as they think. I have no interest in reading about how hard dating is for the pretty young columnist who goes ot clubs and parties and goes to movies with her equally pretty friends and takes pictures of themselves so she can show everyone how pretty her friends are so therefore she has worth. Reading her blog makes me nauseous. I mean, we were all somewhat vapid and self-obsessed in our 20's...but I guess we didn't have blogs back then so we could document EVERY! SINGLE! MOVIE! AND THOUGHT!

tracyflick

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: Favor to ask - a friend of mine has been in the "audition" limbo for quite some time and I was hoping you could grant a special pass. She goes by the handle "JATotesRocks" and could provide some pertinent and hilarious insight on such posts.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: I love Kaila!

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @fiveinchtaint: Servicey! It looks like you're right.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @karion: Dammit! Celestial mind meld!

Also, I really wanna agree with you about J-Al not being able to make it on... shit, I can only really call it the boob tube in this context, right? But then I think about The Hills.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: Your question may be rhetorical, but I think he's the guy who posted the JA item on ValleyWag. And apparently he disapproves of the disapproval.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila: You're doing the Lord's work, dear.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @jlgolson: Who are you?

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Julia Allison blah blah blah high ground blah blah I'm better than this blah blah blah.

Jordan Golson

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila:

And thank you. Lord's work and all that.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> She wouldn't last a season on television. I think she is beautiful and has an amazing body, but she is only interesting, if at all, in text. She might be the least interesting and most annoying on-camera person I've encountered - utterly self absorbed and altogether oblivious to it.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @kaila:

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's just that Gawker 2008's been feeling like, well, a bit B&T - or a bit, how you say "New Coke"...both content- and commenter-wise. And someone started that commenter rumor, and, well, ya know, the pieces all seem to fit together a bit too easily not to suggest a gloomy bigger picture.

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Codepink: Good god I hope that isn't the case. I've always just assumed everyone was 99.9% kidding all the time like I am.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I quit this site for a whole week. Attica! Attica!

But yeah, I'm bored and back. The only thing that sucks more than tedious and outdated explanations of in'nernet acronyms is doing my actual job. So Gawker 2008 wins. Or rather, Gawker 2008 FTW.

Now amuse me, dammit.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Chaim Gnadelstein: re: no more commenter auditions? i can show you some of the people i keep out all goddamned day long, sir -- same as i've been doing for far more than a year. same as when i approved several of the folks on here who would go on to become impossibly awesome regulars.

seen from my end, you may not wish to joke about commenter-assisted suicide so much as pray that the world suffer a swift nuclear armageddon, because that's how awful humanity has revealed itself to be at the First Gate of Comments. but throw me a frickin' bone. when gawker posts are trailed by a host of "FIRST!111!!," i'll be first to pass out the special kool-aid.

Kaila Hale-Stern

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Furious_George: By gum, it just might work.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: You realize, that will only happen if/when her pageview numbers start going down. Starve an attention whore of her attention, and she'll resort to more desperate measures to win it back. I mean, Christ, do you think Tiffany decided to pose in Playboy because her popularity was on the up and up?

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Clarence Rosario: As a non-commenter, I will say that my decision to click on a post sometimes has less to do with how interesting I think the post itself will be and more to do with what I think commenter reaction will be. And I can't be the only one.

I think you all are more important than you give yourselves credit for. So, um, stop being so creative.

RhymesWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> NIck Denton is becoming the next Jann Wenner.

SlimShadenfruede

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: True. Great gams, too.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> So will Julia Allsion now be the one in viral videos in the part of a two-year-old who curses and slaps Will Ferrell around?

Ed

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Furious_George: But I do want to see her topless.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Chaim Gnadelstein: This could be why almost every writer/editor for this site jumped ship last year.

ughhhh. and if you are going to sell out and go down the gossip highway, let's pick people who are at least actually famous.

spielarama

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Seriously, folks. Don't look at it, and it will go away. Even if a JA post gets 300 comments full of vitriol about how much they hate JA, those 300 comments are still 300 comments. Those 10,000+ pageviews are still 10,000+ pageviews.

What is clear about the whole JA mess is that Nick Denton can't or won't distinguish between "good" pageviews/comments and "bad" pageviews/comments. A pageview is a pageview is a pageview in his eyes. Knowing this, you can either boycott the JA machine or inadvertantly keep feeding it. The choice is yours.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Clarence Rosario: I think 30% is way too high. I'm going to guess it might even be in the single digits.

Nick hasn't said anything yet on this post, and I'm doubting that he will.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I'm not sure Nick cares that much about commenters. Face it, there's a line right out that door filled with people just a little too smart for TMZ waiting to take all of our places.

And frankly, they'll read this crap whether we're here or not.

My guess? Commenters make up less than 30% of the page views here. Nick, care to comment?

Clarence Rosario

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> "...appearance of the NEXT JA post".

Geez...nothing gets people organized like typos.

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Let's all us commenters take a page from the Hollywood writers and stage a good ol' fashioned walk-out. To commence upon the appearance of, say, the JA post. Like, for each JA item posted, we respond with one full day of diminished page view revenue.

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @The One: agreed. you disgruntled commenters are only encouraging the behavior you're complaining about. get a clue.

edisdead

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: I guess she does, otherwise I don't think Denton would keep this up. unless our mean comments generate views... this is possible.
@Chaim Gnadelstein: that sounds probable.
@spielarama: the real questions is; even after all these posts... do I actually care at all?

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Great, another shitty Julia Allison post, and another Gawkerless week for me. You'll make a star out of her yet, Nick!

@Codepink, it's just kinda depressing to watch a great site go down in flames like this. Can't speak for anyone else, but retardo JA posts signify a fundamental shift in sensibilities. Roffle posts about JA were fun. Weird promo posts for JA, not much fun.

Tippy and Bad Girl

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Hot Foot: I only click to read what commenters have to say about the evil witch.

The One

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Chaim Gnadelstein: You don't has to try out to comment anymore??? kthxbai

Rhoda-licious

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @DorothyMantooth: @Codepink: You two really grill my cheese.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> So when will this site get honest, take the Sun/Page 3 route, and start posting some topless pics?
A view is a view is a view, yes?

teledingo

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @MayorMcCheese:

Why? Because Denton didn't like it. That simple.

econdave

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @MayorMcCheese: There was no announcement, but I asked in the comments a couple of days ago and Denton was courteous enough to reply. He said they're negotiating something new with Gabe. So for that at least I'm going to give Gawker 2008 more time.

Mary Mouse

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: I'd miss you, luv.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: That makes total sense. Thanks. I think the whole thing's really interesting. Stick around, friend. I like your jokes and, to some extent, your complaints. :)

@Chaim Gnadelstein: ha!

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Codepink: Yeah, I know that Gawker is basically a space for cracking wise, but it was something more for a while, to some people. Gawker is like 1980 Rolling Stone or MTV in 1995.

DavidWatts

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Codepink:

I care in the vein of, like, "I'm kinda getting sick of these potato chips".

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @econdave: "The Unethicist" was nixed? Well slap me and tell me my name is not Susan! When and why the hell did that happen? I now have no moral compass. Seriously, why?

Garanimal Logic

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @Codepink: I just "cyber-care". It doesn't keep me up at night, either. But, I do care about the quality of the content and subject covered here, as much as I can, I guess.

If I care enough to post humorous responses to good material, I suppose it's only natural that I care enough to post not-so-nice ones when I think the content sucks.

I'm not going to protest or anything, but I might just stop coming to the site so often. I don't think that matters at all to anyone but me. I'm not delusional. I'd rather make my opinion known in hopes of eliciting change, than simply leave.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Hey guys, FYI, everything related to Julia Allison is now officially a big deal.

bitsy boozer

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I propose that Gawker compensate for the elimination of commenter auditions by implementing some sort of commenter assisted-suicide program. Like, I'm shivering on the tile floor in the fetal position here and I'm kinda losing hope...

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @econdave: You know who cares about Julia Allison the most? The people who constantly contribute page views to the posts about her here to bitch and moan about how much they don't care about Julia Allison.

If you don't care, DONT CLICK!

Soup

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: I'm just wondering--are you really insulted? I mean, do you really care? Or do you just "cyber-care"? This is basically a question for everyone. I have certainly felt frustrated reading both comments and posts here on Gawker before, but it doesn't keep me awake at night. Some commenters are forming protests and the like. To what end, I wonder? I think it's totally fine to complain, to boycott, to comment, whatever. But for some reason, I tend to ease toward making light jokes. But I really get the feeling that Gawker has hurt some commenters' feelings around here! Is this true? Am I way far off? Is all your frustration just for fun? Does complaining reap some sort of intellectual reward that I just don't get cuz I'm kind of dumb? Again, I'm not making fun. Just wondering.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Also, I thought that the Julia Allison character was supposed to be Gawker's ironic answer to the celebrity gossip madness, which is vapid no matter who the celebrity is, and no matter if she is "real" or "pseudo". Julia being not only "pseudo" but also "Gawker's proprietary" is actually perfect for the role. I think it's a great concept. It just has to be done right, and I have to say that Emily did it right. I am not so sure that Nick is doing it the way it has to be done so it doesn't sound like banging on an empty pot.

Niko Bellic

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @econdave: I think you're, for the most part, correct. All I ask is transparency.

When Nick was just the owner of the site, a hidden agenda was semi-excusable... but now that he's appointed himself Managing Editor, I think we deserve some sort of explanation?

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Julia Allison is the next Britney Spears. Gawker's just ahead of the curve. I'm guessing Dr. Phil is on his way over to her place right now to stage an intervention, or take care of her dog, or whatever will get ratings.

mstr_donut

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Who the fuck is Julia Allison and why does Gawker have a Julie Allison beat?

gawkimo

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> So, has anyone sent her new meal ticket a link to the live blogging in which she so clearly displayed that she can never be trusted with any personal secrets and then tried to blow it off as just a big oopsie?

The One

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> It's (inadvertently) funny that the article making fun of Julia Allison for not being funny is - not funny.

Niko Bellic

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @BrianVan: "FunnyOrMarryRichLikeNow-ishBeforeDroopin....net."

Nard

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2:

"And does she really rake in that many pageviews? Serious question, I have no idea."

Of course not. She's completely uninteresting. Nobody cares about her outside of her, her parents, and Denton. But he finds her fascinating, so he assumes the rest of us do, and we get all Julia all the time. Just like he thinks the rest of his media buddies are so interesting, when no one cares. And apparently Denton must take Adderall, or think it's "edgy" or something, so we get 5 posts a day on it.

He doesn't like "The Unethicist," so that goes, even though it's hilarious.

Just change the name from "Gawker" to the "Nick Denton Vanity Project" and be done with it.

econdave

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I would instead advise her to try out for "FunnyOrPlayboySpread.com"

BrianVan

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Mayday, mayday, mayday. This is Gawker 2-0-0-8. Position 40 43 North 74 00 West. My boat is on fire and sinking. Repeat we are sinking. Request immediate assistance. Over.

rojac

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @hypocriteoath: Let's be honest, if this site wasn't posting about the fame whore once to twice a week, would you actually care about her?

I feel like Gawker is doing for Ms. Allison, what the rest of the gossip media did for the Beckhams. If you hammer in something enough, even for the most intelligent of readers, they will succumb...or just start reading a new blog.

spielarama

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @hypocriteoath:

Nothing like jeopardizing the currency you've established with your dedicated readers in favor of page views. It's a dicey long-term strategy, but who knows - maybe their little bright shining star here will nab a half-hour on E! or something just in time for the final phase of Gawker's transition into the poor man's TMZ.

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @hypocriteoath: You raise a fair point. He's running a business, not a playground for commenters. Still, I just can't abide something so disingenuous silently. And does she really rake in that many pageviews? Serious question, I have no idea.

@In Other News...: Seriously. I'd back off if Nick would just come clean about the nature of their business relationship, here.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> "Arrested Development" was cancelled, yet "Two and a Half Men" remains on the air.

I'm not sure this "be funny, or die" maxim holds up.

transomist

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I vote for "die."

La Cieca

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> No comment on whether the success of her new venture, "Fameball or Die," is strictly tied to every hunched NYC journo's desire to see her appear on "Naked or Die."

ouikant

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: this post isn't for you... it's for the masses. Julia Allison sells papers! or page views. you know what I mean.

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2:

Is this circumspection, or career advice from a de facto life coach?

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> "Ma'am, this is Home Depot, not one of your swing joints."

Oh, not an open caption post? I don't care, then.

JojoSaysNo

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @SlimShadenfruede: Or gerbils and eels.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> So, uh...what's the "interesting" angle here again?

worst_1_yet

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails2: Damn!

SlimShadenfruede

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> I have a desire to fill that tub with strawberry flavored milk.

SlimShadenfruede

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Laying dead in the tub, Julia Allison finally became funny.

EnviousJuno

]]> <![CDATA[Funny Or Die]]> Nick,

Why do you try to frame the contents of this post as circumspection? Everyone knows that Julia is on your speed dial. And the "I'm-poking-fun-at-her-oh-so-gently-but-w..." shtick is pretty weak, too.

The past two weeks have proven to me that, apparently, there's a lot of crap I can tolerate from this site. However, the constant insults to my intelligence are wearing thin.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]>