<![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> What kind of person takes a video of themselves in a bikini dancing on a glass table, posts it on the internet, then has their friends repost it over and over and over again? it's not that she has a bad body. It's just...this reeks of pathetic daddy issues and need for attention from internet strangers. Tell me I'm pretty and skinny and my hair is shiny and I'm oh so fun! Look at me, I get drunk and dance on tables in hotel rooms but it's okay because I'm not THAT kind of girl, except when I am.

Miss Allison may be winning the attention whore competition but godammit, her friends are going in for a piece of that pie.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @fiveinchtaint: Oh, I bet they think it's kind of fun. I mean, if they're all similar kinds of gals.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @CodePink: You're right! I think this girl is cute and seems fun. I wonder how JA's friends feel about being collateral damage. Do you think they hate it, or is the pseudo-celebrity and scandal of it all kind of fun for them?

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Oh, girls just can't win. Too skinny, too fat. It's a good thing I'm just insanely clever.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @La Cieca: Attractive? hell no. M-NOT in the camp of someone who looks at Holocaust pix as porn.
EAT SOMETHING WAIF!

YourGoldKeith

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> If that were me on that table, I'd jump once, and fall through. That would be called, "having a CodePink moment."

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> I know it's cool to make fun of JA and all, but this chica is gorgeous. But I'm a straight female, so what do I know.

If she's "ugly," then most of us are just ham-beasts with no hope for redemption.

Pres. Laura Roslin

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @SuperBien: They're available only through mail order from the former Soviet Union. Ask for Georgie.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: Where can I buy your novel(s)?

SuperBien

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @scarletmenace: Diane Von Furstenburg is to Barry Diller what Julia Allison will be to Nick Denton in -- let's say -- 3 to 5 years . . .

SuperBien

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> she is gorgeous.

britneyspearstears

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Most pleasing was the very obvious mocking and annoyed tone in Mary's voice. The clip would have been complete if drunk boy shaped Mary was clutching one of her horrid purses.

tracyflick

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> did i just watch underage jailbait dance around in a bikini? wait, who's that knocking on my door...chris hansen? what are you doing here? why is nick douglas behind you breathing heavily? and who is that bear lurking around the corner?

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> I know that girl! [jezebel.com]

jrhys

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @onebadclam: I'm guessing that after the dancing and a-screeching she caught her reflection on the table and she stood there, silent and still, in awe at the image below her. After what seemed like an eternity, she reached towards it, fingers outstretched, but was disappointed when she touched only the cold, smooth glass. She knelt to get a closer look - her mouth slack and hanging open, breath shallow. A single strand of drool fell slowly from her lips as she hunched, perplexed at her own image - a harridan from perhaps an earlier age, made gaunt through a self-obsession born of the shallow wasteland of Julia Allison. Suddenly there was a burst of self-realisation, and she hissed at herself who, in turn, hissed back, and she leapt from the table and careened off the pictures on the wall, only to crash through the window behind her. As she fell to her death below, she realised that she'd achieved almost nothing in her short life, unless her goal was to leave a skinny, bloody mess on a side walk. As her empty skull shattered on the unforgiving concrete, her last, vacuous thought was that she hoped the camera had captured the whole incident so she'd finally achieve some decent page-views on YouTube.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> "like reading a speed-ball" - FTW!

also, did anyone catch how awful JA's laugh is(I am assuming she is the videographer)

related: this mary is kinda hot

CreativeUnderclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Bunsy: She is dancing on a glass table. Smart doesn't seem to be in play with this girl.

onebadclam

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Wow. Crazy Lady. (And unfortunate voice.)

I wonder if she/they wlll ever EVER regret having this nonsense all over the internet. Don't they realize, internet = forever?

Probably not, I am so old fashioned.

Bunsy

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @belltolls: Mick Fleetwood only accepts payment in the form of interpretive dance. I had to be a swallow leaving home for one of his old hats.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Nick Denton: If Mary can save just one person, it'll all be worthwhile...

pufflehuff

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @belltolls: I read that as "guts of tweed," which I took as something like "abs of steel" only less so.

Cthulhah Bankhead

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: Great! You know their PayPal number?

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @La Cieca: That is the antidote. Thank you.

Cthulhah Bankhead

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @pufflehuff: Damn, nice link of this piece to drunkorexia. I entirely missed it.

Nick Denton

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Did anyone notice that in a bikini, Julia Allison has NO tits?

There goes her only redeeming quality.

Soup

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @belltolls: Of course - I stole it from Fleetwood Mac, I think.
@themediatrix: Unfortunately the Vatican has the only print in existence.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> awkwaaarrddd.

dwightschrute

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: "The Exorcism of Emily Gould and Kevin Rose:" ...link please.

themediatrix

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: "...gust of tweed..." May I steal?

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @belltolls: It's kind of Mary Rambin to film an after-school special on the perils of drunkorexia.

pufflehuff

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @belltolls: We'd just returned from the store after buying some fresh milk. She was lactose intolerant, but got a sexual thrill from watching me add milk to my tea or breakfast cereal. Sometimes when I rubbed cheese on my neck it would push her over the edge and she'd leap on my back and punch me in the thorax. Anyway, we came back with the milk, a newspaper, and some kitty litter for the swan we kept in the back garden. Unfortunately we'd been followed by around a dozen old women in various types of coat, some armed with hats and winter footwear. We entered her apartment, and in the haste to put the milk in the fridge, we'd left the door open. The old women swarmed in and milled around in the hall discussing wool. The sound of whispered inanities about needles will live with me until 2011. We both panicked, and ran into the bedroom as it had the brightest table lamps and we thought that the intense light would easily disperse the knitting-nuts. Sadly, we'd just invested in some early compact fluorescents, and upon switching them on, we were presented by something little more than a weak glow. The old women herded into the bedroom - I threw my girlfriend on top of the wardrobe, while I balanced on the edge of a full-length mirror using only my toes and utilising my years of experience working for Cirque Du Soleil in Las Vegas. The old women wandered around the bedroom, running their cadaverous fingers over the lower-level furniture looking for traces of dust or stray pubic hairs - upon finding little, if any, they began to howl in disapproval, provoking our swan to take flight and head North in fear. I stage-whispered to my girlfriend to shout something to distract them - perhaps involving household cleanliness, or the price of beans. Suddenly she yelled out "I think your phone's ringing - it could be your son, and he almost never calls, does he?" and with a powerful gust of tweed, they were gone, stumbling into the daylight in a frenzy of misplaced hope. Although we bonded over this terrifying experience, we broke up two days later when the milk ran out. We had a short custody battle over the swan, who failed to appear at any of the court proceedings.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @pufflehuff: I guess there are not enough Facebook drunk girl groups.

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Anorexia is so fucking hawt.

yourfriendandneighbor

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> [blunkdrogging.tumblr.com]

JA is the "Sober Sister." Right.

pufflehuff

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> She's borderline anorexic and she makes Julia Allison seem intelligent by comparison. 0 for 2, babe!

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: Tell us more.

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> What a horrible body- how does a girl put on a bikini & not look like a girl at all?

ingabelle

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @belltolls: I once made a girl lie on top of a wardrobe. What I made her say was very convincing.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> It appears the Julia Allison Experience is metastasizing. On the bright side, she isn't singing the praises of Rachel Marsden.

onebadclam

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Wow. Off screen Dakota Fanning isn't nearly as cute.

onebadclam

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> This reminds me of Tortilla Flats circa 1984. Why do girls like to jump up on tables?

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @marvel girl: Ha! All that was missing was a little tea-set and some stuffed animals.

Not that I'm speaking from experience, of course.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Craig_L.: wait, i didn't see those. There were tits? I thought we were looking at a 10 year old boy playing dress up with his moms clothes.

marvel girl

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Good thing she only weighs 80 pounds.

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @La Cieca: the supergoddess thanks la cieca for that video, which somewhat undid the lingering sense of horror the supergoddess has been toting around since that rambin creature cawed drunkenly at me on a sunday morning. uch, how horrifying. (oh and! that little dance he did at 1:14? darling. just darling.)

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @BenderingTime: That's actually an NYU recruitment tape.

Michael Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: La Cieca was wondering if she was just so totally gay that she couldn't get it. But that doesn't really make sense, because even straight (male) readers of my blog agree that this guy is utterly adorable:


+ Watch video

La Cieca

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> she's awfully close to that window.

larrydarrell

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Nick Denton: You know, I thought about sending this to you yesterday, but I thought it would just make me seem desperate for your attention. Lesson learned:

[jdel.tumblr.com]

JDel

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Nick Denton: Lol @ "Jumping Mary" - also, I'm now reminded of the movie "The Exorcism of Emily Gould and Kevin Rose".
@La Cieca: No. On paper, yes - but with this horrific Zapruder-ite footage, no.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @La Cieca: She had a 50/50 chance until she started talking.

unclesahm

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> La Cieca admits she is out of the loop here, but is it possible that straight guys could find this girl attractive?

La Cieca

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @scarletmenace @VirusWithShoes: Julia Allison used to be an isolated phenomenon. Now she's drawn in Leven, adopted little sister, jumping Mary, fruitini-wearing Hud, the College Humor boys, Emily Gould, Kevin Rose, me, you. If JA is a rip in the fabric of media, it's tearing, enveloping us all.

Nick Denton

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @scarletmenace: Me too! After all this time reading Gawker, if someone asked me who Julia Allison was, I wouldn't know what to say.

Watching the video, all I could think was: Fall, Fall, Fall, Fall...

BenderingTime

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Craig_L.:
Dear Annoying Girl,
Shut up.

Sincerely,
Straight Men With Taste.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @Richard: I know - it's the chairs, right? Thought so.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Dear annoying girl,
Shut up and show us your tits.

Sincerely,
All straight men

Craig_L.

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Oh dear.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @scarletmenace: Like quantum theory, anyone who says they understand it is generally lying. Best just to accept it, and hope a 12 year old Chinese prodigy figures it out sometime in the future.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> You know I've been enjoying Gawker for what feels like several years now and I'm still not sure who Julia Allison is or why I should give a crap about her. Is this like Nick Denton's personal obsession? I just don't get it. Are we all extras in some kind of future stalking murder/suicide drama or what? If we are, let me know and I will put on some decent clothes.

scarletmenace

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @VirusWithShoes: Thanks! You wrote the best rant I've seen in quite awhile.

Out to walk the dogs...

PandoraSpocks

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @richardmarxhatesmyhair: Tell your grandma she needs more fill lights. And enough with the strangely boyish blondes on the tables - people have to eat there.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> I think this was filmed in my Grandma's condo in Century Village...

richardmarxhatesmyhair

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> @PandoraSpocks: You know, I heard someone at my door this morning, but I never answered it. This must have been left with a neighbour. I think it's went off a bit, though.

Also - the quote makes no sense whatsoever. It's like reading a speed-ball.

ps - thanks for thinking of me. I owe you.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[A Julia Allison Moment]]> Attn: Virus With Shoes

Your Clown-a-gram has arrived.

PandoraSpocks

]]>