Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever - Gawker Comments

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

swagv — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:48:56 EDT

Change? The Pike Place blend is something Starbucks releases every year like clockwork. At least in the Seattle area.

Talk about an attention whore.

swagv

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

DaDuckster — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:42:26 EDT

"Its about the farmers as well. We help their children eat, and the farmers take great joy into working with us."

It's about punctuation and correct word usage.

DaDuckster

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Shazzer — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 06:26:54 EDT

No amount of barista training will help if the beans are over-roasted to begin with...but having said that, my patronage of Starbucks has always been more about the atmosphere of their stores than the taste of the coffee.

I also used to think their "bold brew of the day" was toe-curlingly strong, and then I moved to Sweden.

Shazzer

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

karion — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:09:34 EDT

@belltolls:

There is no coffee god but Vivace.

karion

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

MartyPants — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:25:54 EDT

Had this today, because it was after two and my only options for brewed coffee were new coffee regular or new coffee decaf. I put milk in it and it tasted like hot water with milk. ick!!

MartyPants

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Lady Shrimpton — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:06:36 EDT

"To us, coffee is a goal, and a dream"... Uh, yeah. I guess this explains why they are so bad at making an actual cup of it...

Lady Shrimpton

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

WideStanceRomancer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:13:27 EDT

@belltolls: I fully expected Seattle's obsession with coffee was a myth until I saw the many drive-up espresso stands no larger than a Fotomat along the highways for buzz bumps on the go. Too bad about Coffee Messiah, their Disco Inferno bathroom was a revelation.

WideStanceRomancer

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

buttler — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:13:21 EDT

Maybe they're just brewing it wrong, but I had some this morning, and hooboy was it weak.

buttler

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

belltolls — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:52:34 EDT

@WideStanceRomancer: Working here for 30-90 more days (depending) but I can tell you people here are apeshit for coffee. I am surprised they don't gnaw on beans during meetings.

CM: I am told it is gone as well as any memories you may have of Cap Hill being urban pioneering.

belltolls

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

WifeMotherCrip — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:48:08 EDT

Starbucks set up a booth at Bryant Park and is giving away samples of the new coffee. It tastes good! Just how the guy in the coffee cart across the street blends it.

WifeMotherCrip

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

WideStanceRomancer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:30:40 EDT

@belltolls: Assuming you are Seattle-based, is it true that the Coffee Messiah is gone? I'll treasure my 'Caffeine Saves' t-shirt all the more.

WideStanceRomancer

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

JesseJb — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:07:43 EDT

On behalf of all of Seattle I apologize for Starbucks. (not that we even drink that garbage). You can come after us for reparations later!

JesseJb

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

belltolls — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 10:56:58 EDT

@TedSez: I stood in front of the fish throwers at Pike Place just the other day. It reminded me of Thanksgiving Dinner when I was growing up. The original Starbucks store is cute. I genuflected.

belltolls

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

digitalsmoothie — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 10:14:00 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: "Heat Cuff"-ha!

digitalsmoothie

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Uncle Ruckus — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:40:24 EDT

If the coffee is still overpriced, then it still sucks. I'll continue to stop by Dunkin Donuts, thankyouverymuch

Uncle Ruckus

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

CaptainFantastic — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:36:28 EDT

Starbucks: for medicinal purposes only.

Maybe I'll be able to buy it for the taste now.

CaptainFantastic

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

McCheeburger — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:22:08 EDT

Our long national nightmare is finally over.

Also, "alot" is two words, not one, brainwashed baristabot.

McCheeburger

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

crotchety — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:56:55 EDT

I'm giving points for efforts to change. I'm neutral when it comes to Starbucks, but at least they are trying to solve their problems. Many companies would raise prices and cut portions and staff and cross their fingers.

crotchety

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:53:13 EDT

Geez, people. Just get yourselves a $15 French press. It will make you happy.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

onesix18 — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:44:29 EDT

Starbucks should get some credit for realizing that coffee and espresso drinkers are growing increasingly more discriminating in the U.S. As artisan coffee operations like Intelligentsia in Chicago and Gimme! Coffee in New York continue to grow in influence, chains like Starbucks and Caribou will continue to lose their luster unless they make strong efforts to improve the quality of their drinks.

I've always thought Starbucks did a decent job brewing coffee--it's their espresso drinks that bit it.

Also, I noticed that the old twin-tailed siren was back on the cups this morning.

onesix18

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

In Other News... — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:45:24 EDT

@TedSez: Eeeeew. Fish coffee. Tastes like salt, and a bit scaly.

Also, "To us, coffee is a goal, and a dream." Get the feeling Mr. Schultz would've timed this to the 40th anniversary of MLK's assasination if he could've gotten away with it? Nothing would surprise me from those sanctimonious fuckers.

In Other News...

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

raincoaster — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:35:51 EDT

@Stark_pigeon: That's a key point; it's why Starbucks has slid from being seen as a premium coffee bar to just another fast-food place. The automated bars they put in not only isolate the barista from the customers and dehumanize both sides in an ugly Orwellian way, but they also put a ceiling on the quality of the shots. Simply put, the espresso is less often bad, but it is never great. It can't be great. And it used to be. I worked with one fellow who had the magic touch at the bar and I'd deliberately wait till he was on bar to order an espresso drink.

It's that whole risk avoidance vs greatness thing. They chose predictable and ordinary over their own standards, and THAT is why its seen as just another fast food place. Well, that and the freaking egg mcmuffin with whipped cream and sprinkles crap they serve now. I mean, please.

raincoaster

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Stark_pigeon — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:30:23 EDT

@azi: I'm thinking of all the people who won't even notice, because they put no-sugar vanilla and latte and peppermint in it. Wait, maybe that's why they put all that shit in it.

Stark_pigeon

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Stark_pigeon — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:29:25 EDT

@transgenic_mouse: do you really even brew the coffee? Starbucks is the epitome of workplace automation.

Stark_pigeon

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

BalknChain — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:24:12 EDT

Let's word associate a moment. Pike...let's see..oh yeah! Impale on a pike ala Vlad. Fabulous! I'll have a new coffee from Starbucks that will generate serious intestinal rumblings like a huge wooden pike being rammed up my rear. Possibly driven by horses. Yes! I'll take 2 please. Then the Starbucks head honchos can sit around determining how best to brew my freshly spilt type O+.

BalknChain

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

raincoaster — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:45:55 EDT

No, you're getting it wrong. They already had several different types of lighter-roasted coffee and Nooooooooooobody bought them. No. Bo. Dy. As if_i_only_had_a_heart said, somebody's been buying their regular Full City Roast all this time. (7 years of Starbucks speaking here; I eventually escaped). This is PR.

The barista may have drunk the Full City Roasted kool-aid, but s/he's right about the whole buying-from-the-little-guy thing. Starbucks takes a lot of crap that Nestle deserves instead.

And FYI Howard Schultz is a sweet, sweet guy. Oh, god, I must be PMSing. Snark to resume in three...two...

raincoaster

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:27:11 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: ur right, 4 surely ***someone*** liked the way it used 2 taste

the horror!

if_i_only_had_a_heart

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

SarahHeartburn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:23:19 EDT

@SarahHeartburn: Forgot to finish that. So I think a 2-hour seminar in how to handle hysterical obsessives overwhelmed by small changes in the brew is not excessive at all.

SarahHeartburn

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

SarahHeartburn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:21:57 EDT

@Ryan Tate: I see your point, Ryan. But consider the average interaction between barista and neurotic American coffee addict. The average joe-junkie is insanely finicky about every single little detail about his/her morning swill, down to how to exactly position the heat cuff. I have no doubt there will be more than a few hissy fits as princesses discover a pea, or lack of one, under the mattress.

SarahHeartburn

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

MrInBetween — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:06:58 EDT

Okay, so the company's stock is stuck in the crapper and the corporate response is to serve some halfway decent quality java? I am missing something here. Didn't crappy, burnt coffee build the Starbucks empire? Schultz has gone mad.

MrInBetween

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

TedSez — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:14:50 EDT

Isn't Pike Place best known for the fishmongers who throw salmon back and forth? Sounds tasty to me!

TedSez

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Ryan Tate — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:57:05 EDT

@azi: Seems like "not burned" could be conveyed in approximately 5 seconds! But I guess the cashiers need to be able to really SELL it.

Ryan Tate

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

azi — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:30:32 EDT

And I am sodrunk.

azi

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

azi — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:28:13 EDT

@Ryan Tate: Also please don't ban me for being bitchy. I was having a moment. And the spelllllllcheck is down. So. yeah.

azi

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

azi — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:26:07 EDT

@Ryan Tate: Dude learn to parse, he said the meeting was to discuss the new blend (and all its subtleties) and then also how to brew it. Unto which I say AWESOME. Because Starbucks coffee tastes burnt and a new brewing technique would be greatly appreciated.

azi

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

Ryan Tate — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:14:01 EDT

@transgenic_mouse: Interesting!

But: Why would new beans take two hours to learn to brew? Seems like you could use the same techniques as before.

Ryan Tate

Starbucks Geniuses To Stop Burning Coffee This Morning, Change World Forever

transgenic_mouse — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:08:56 EDT

Hyperbole aside, the coffee's actually tasty. Unfortunately, we had to have a two hour (unpublicized, this time) meeting to discuss the Pike Place blend and how we will brew it. For various reasons, I've put in my notice and am quitting soon.

transgenic_mouse