W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious." - Gawker Comments

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Cacafuego — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:36:43 EDT

"Turd Blossom" used to be a joke name for my dog.

Cacafuego

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Readsforaliving — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:17:48 EDT

Are they getting Caliendo?

Readsforaliving

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

HyphyForLifey — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:27:24 EDT

i dont know -- seems like ryan tate might secretly be a right winger. maybe even a christian. why does he keep calling bullshit on this?

HyphyForLifey

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

jasonelias — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:26:16 EDT

I hope this doesn't come out until after the 2008 elections. In 2004, I think that Michael Moore movie, oddly enough, helped Bush seem like a "goof", especially from the clips. I don't want the diversion of this movie to take away from the Democratic ticket. By the fall, it's probably going to be Geraldine Ferraro and Ralph Nader, but just saying...

jasonelias

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

nanotalent — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:26:46 EDT

@Steverino: Yes! And maybe at some point, he jumps into the portal and gets lost in time, eventually winding up in 1774. He almost derails the American revolution by showing the founding fathers how to make beer bongs and play polo on baby dinosaurs.

             JEFFERSON
   Ow! The infernal beast has claimed
   my hand!

             BUSH
   Alright, nobody panic. Don't get
   me wrong, these things have strong
   jaws, but they're vegetabletarians.

All of a sudden, Washington strides up and punches Jefferson square in the jaw.
The baby dino, startled, spits out Jefferson's hand.

             GERONIMO
             (laughing)
   Oh, snap!

BUSH
You did it, Ragey! Look, his hand is free!

             WASHINGTON
   His hand is what? Oh, right.
   That's... why I hit him, right. Hey, do
   we have any more of those gelatin
   shooters?

One of the dinos (the cutest one) winks at the camera.

nanotalent

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mr. Kim Gordons Panties — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:55:50 EDT

Totally inaccurate. There's no way Bush could pronounce "Khatami." He'd more likely use a nickname like "The K-Dawg."

Mr. Kim Gordons Panties

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mediahohoho — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:24:54 EDT

Unless Cheney's "coffee mug" is filled with the fresh squeezed blood of newly murdered infants, this is totally inaccurate. Also, non-alcoholic beer? Riiiiiiight.

Mediahohoho

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

SeeingI — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 08:57:39 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: A nest? I thought they lived in burrows.

SeeingI

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

In Other News... — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 08:06:16 EDT

@regisgoat: Syriana.

In Other News...

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

regisgoat — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 07:04:12 EDT

I thought it was "Everyone wants to go to Baghdad. Real men want to go to Damascus"

regisgoat

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:50:56 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Frat boy, I meant. "Fray boy" sounds more like Russell Crowe.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:48:33 EDT

@nanotalent: He doesn't have the balls. Fray boy pranks are about his speed.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Marcuse — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 05:52:32 EDT

Cheney's big Lecter line, "real men go to Tehran", is an accurate quote. According to a 2004 Time article, it was one of the "playful slogans" of the neocons during the buildup to the Iraq invasion.

Complaining about making pantomime villains out of the Bush administration is like complaining that Untergang "humanized" Hitler. The sad fact of the matter is that Hitler *was* human, with all the terrible existential implications that that carries; conversely, the even sadder fact is that the current rulers of Planet Earth are straight-up pantomime villains.

Marcuse

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

jackparsons — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:53:50 EDT

May of the meta-Oliver Stone lines never make it past the studio suits. For instance, my favorite line in Wall Street, after Bud finds out Gekko two-timed him on Blue Star Airlines: "I feel like I've been bent over the sink of life and dry-humped." Apparently it never made it into the film, but it's in the script. That's what makes Oliver Stone so awesome: you can see him thinking of it, biting the eraser of his #2 pencil, touching it up a bit and then smiling in sweet satisfaction.

jackparsons

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

MrInBetween — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:44:03 EDT

So Karl Rove opens a non-alcoholic beer and says nothing. In other words, we are supposed to believe Rove -- the so-called "Bush's Brain" -- played the role of "Bush's Tee Totaler" in the White House? Realistic.

MrInBetween

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

SW-2 — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:04:08 EDT

If that scene's supposed to be about the birth of "the Axis of Evil," shouldn't David Frum be in it? And what's his drink of choice?

SW-2

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

McCheeburger — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:52:51 EDT

Other than Salvador and Platoon, I don't think I can sit through any other Oliver Stone films.

OTOH, according the Graydon Carter, et al, Bush was actually dead drunk on the occasion of his infamous pretzel choking episode.

If that was ever confirmed and put to celluloid, I'd pay serious money just to see that one scene. Just to pull the curtain back on his entire charade of a presidency and just to shut his hagiographers the fuck up.

McCheeburger

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Steverino — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:49:23 EDT

@nanotalent: YES. Or into a time portal. And the other end of the portal will be just above his head during his Mission Accomplished speech. Kind of a la Donnie Darko.

Steverino

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

8Millionth — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:48:22 EDT

Wow, Mike, this really got you going :)

Who said Rice said something sensible? Rice, repeatedly, has the job of disseminating the most outlandish and outrageous administration lies. She was the one who used "mushroom cloud" in a speech about Iraq's WMDs. Only Cheney is comparable in his sheer inability to tell the truth. Rummy was at least, mostly, amusing, the best dinner guest, hypothetically.

This script looks totally wrong to me. Bush is not an initiator. He is absolutely nothing like a driven man, or a person who convinces people in a group conversation.

8Millionth

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

nanotalent — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:37:35 EDT

Ugh. 8 years of utter ridonculousness, and this is the best we can do?

If you're going to make stuff up, I want to see W doing snuff off Geronimo's skull in the middle of Skull & Bones headquarters while jacking off into a time capsule.

nanotalent

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

rightbrain — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:27:35 EDT

Real men drink alcoholic beer

rightbrain

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:23:47 EDT

@TedSez:
"Palestine is the king's beer mug isn't it?" the President asked.

"Well, Mr. President," the Secretary of State replied, "We should take that into consideration."

"Don't patronize your patron, Brown Sugar," the Vice President snarled.

I can't think of any more Bush dialogue and I have to get up in the morning.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

BalknChain — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:21:06 EDT

@TedSez: oh boy, now I picture Bush with his shirt over his head ala Beavis
heh heh heh heh I need TP for my...
Yeah, I need to go to bed *sigh*

BalknChain

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

businesspearl — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:16:30 EDT

wow, even I don't get that last comment.

businesspearl

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

TedSez — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:16:07 EDT

This film writes itself:

Bush says something dumb.
Rice says something sensible.
Cheney says something evil.
Bush smirks and has a cold one. "Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."

Scene.

TedSez

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

businesspearl — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:15:55 EDT

(shakes head in disapproval) Anybody can go to Tehran. Real men go down to the Bush.

businesspearl

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:12:11 EDT

Definitely. I'm not criticizing him. Far from it.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

In Other News... — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:07:35 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Williams scored Born On The Fourth Of July, JFK and Nixon. Did a great job with all.

In Other News...

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:07:17 EDT

Yo Ollie, round up Kukla and Fran and get your ass back to the Hill School.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:05:06 EDT

You know it's grade C Hollywood when the scriptwriter has characters talking to one another, often face to face, and using first names.

Listen, Had ...
Open the pod door, Hal ...
He's dead, Jim ...

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

BalknChain — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:01:53 EDT

@Mike_Jahn: Harold and Kumar Go To The White House

BalknChain

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:58:13 EDT

@BalknChain: Jar Jar Goes to Washington.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Steverino — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:58:04 EDT

This is so over the top with the non-alcoholic beer clinking that I wonder if the whole thing will just be a big acid trip, more Natural Born Killers than Nixon. Like maybe Bush will be ordering troops to go to war, and the White House will be on fire and Juliette Lewis will be all writhing around in the background for no reason.

I hope so! No point in going for accurate fiction when you can show *actual videotape* of these people acting stupid, and they'll deny it, claim it was out of context, blame filmmaker, etc.

Steverino

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:57:22 EDT

@In Other News...: Yeah, right. The theme music for Darth Vader plays as Bush strides across the lawn from the chopper.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

BalknChain — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:56:48 EDT

Where is Scroll_Lock when I need him?

This screams National Lampoon's Escape from Abu Ghraib

BalknChain

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

In Other News... — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:55:50 EDT

@Goober_Pea: ...and a score by John Williams.

In Other News...

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Mike_Jahn — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:54:37 EDT

I also didn't know until Ollie told me that Jim Morrison wore white jocket shorts under his famous leather pants. Wow! Radical. I am the Lizard King. I can wear BVDs.

Mike_Jahn

W Script: "Don't Get Cute Turdblossom, This Is Serious."

Goober_Pea — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:53:56 EDT

So basically this is going to be one long SNL skit but cheezier and in black and white whit jump cuts.

I've got my countdown to 129 going just like everyone else, but I think I can live without this crap. That's My Bush and Lil Bush will work just fine. And probably be classier.

Goober_Pea