BTW-- she's 24th on the "subscribed" list on YouTube. And people say the theatre is dying...

City_Dater

"Oh, another thing? We never had sex."

BLACKOUT.

GayGayerson

PandoraSpocks

htotheomo

htotheomo

minx

Saxon 212

Saxon 212

Hez

Coating a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig in Vaseline is practically de rigueur in rustic communities where "greased pig" contests are an integral part of social events.

TV-watching is so dreadfully contrary to the convivial spirit of rustic hospitality that it's rather presumptuous to mention pig-greasing in this context.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

gawksFromaRock

As for the bacon, one could simply purchase a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig and watch TV with it.

Go to the source, people.

htotheomo

belltolls

belltolls

rosaluxembourgeoise

If you're going to wrap a television in bacon you might as well splurge -- and this would be deliriously festive for holiday times -- and beneath the bacon do alternating layers of water chestnuts and grilled chicken livers.

A well-chilled rosé de Sancerre to go with?

Am if off-base? Everyone agree?

Lord knows that I'd personally drink kerosene after exhausting myself by wrapping a television in bacon, chicken livers, and water chestnuts. But I really like to think of my guests and what would please them.

That's what true hospitality is all about, isn't it?

Hamud Ibn Hamud

htotheomo

Wrapped with bacon.

htotheomo

"She should ask what he wants done with the white plastic TV in the kitchen. I hate when people put a white plastic TV in the kitchen." (emphasis mine)

If not plastic, precisely what material do you feel appropriate for the manufacture of televisions?

I'd certainly join you in your reproach were it all possible to find a television made from seaweed, say, or mohair.

Lord knows, I've personally tried countless times to "rehouse" televisions in something more eye-catching and pleasant than plastic.

I tried covering our old RCA in this marvelous rust-colored moss I found in the forest but while we were watching the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour the television burst into flames and filled the den with vile-smelling smoke.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

PandoraSpocks

And her eyes scare me.

Oface

belltolls

Theda_Bara

I was once a pharmacy technician. Stay with me, it gets better.

So, Viagra was placed on the market. I was a young'un and yet every old man in [redacted] thought I would go out to dinner with them. I was so nice, they said, and they had viagra, you know?

That first year, we lost a couple of our older male patients to the cause. See, you can't take Viagra with heart medications. Consequently, these men stopped taking their heart medication.

One last case in point--the local (and quite famous) retirement community has one of the highest STD rates in the country. And people die having sex there, too. Locals snicker and simply say, "Ah, Viagra."

Moral of the story--you can't keep a hard man down. Next time someone tells you they can't have sex because of their blood pressure....walk away, dear. Walk away.

Your schoolmarm,

Theda

Theda_Bara

htotheomo

TallulahSkankhead

TallulahSkankhead

Nesbiteme

SarahHeartburn

Don't youever youtube again! EVER!

McCheeburger

Products Will Save Me

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TallulahSkankhead