American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian - Gawker Comments

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

winniemc — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:06:58 EDT

@sing_michael_sing: That will never happen. Most lesbians who take straight women up on their girl-geigh crushes pretty much assume they will top (do all the work, in gayspeak). If all you want is make-out and hand-holding, we'll oblige. Granted, the hand you're holding might migrate south, but you gotta make some sacrifices to get what you want in life. It's just girl fun anyway, right?

winniemc

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

sing_michael_sing — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:32:04 EDT

girl crushes are stupid. i guarantee that if anyone with a so-called "girl crush" on Jackie got her head sandwiched between Jackie's legs, they'd start crying and try to explain how they only wanted to hold hands or make out.

sing_michael_sing

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Cheap Shot — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:27:20 EDT

Let's be honest, do you ever hear of straight women having a crush on bull dykes? They like Jackie because although Jackie is tough, she isn't completely butch and that could be alluring.

Cheap Shot

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

NeverEnough — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:19:27 EDT

@girlsintuxedos: Really?! That's awesome!

NeverEnough

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

winniemc — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:59:18 EDT

I speak on behalf of the lesbians when I say, you straight ladies can have this crazy bitch. Granted, she is built like a brick shithouse, but she is also batshit crazy. For Big Apple lady-crush satisfaction, please direct all of your straight-lady crushes to my private getaway, MILF Island, from this point on. No need to thank me; just doing my duty.

winniemc

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Itsjustcatnip — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:08:07 EDT

All physical trainers scare me. Not in a nice ooh scary way either. More of a run away as fast as the remains of my legs will allow me way.

Itsjustcatnip

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

DaDuckster — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:49:07 EDT

If I were gay, she would make me straight.

ugh.

DaDuckster

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Hamud Ibn Hamud — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:27:18 EDT

@Shazzer:

"...To me she's a melodramatic narcissist with predatory tendencies..."

Unless you generally hang out with Buddhist monks and nuns who've renounced all attachment to physical experiences derived from the temporal world, you could probably describe most people you know as "melodramatic narcissists with predatory tendencies."

Or maybe it's just a matter of regional context. For a high-profile Westside Angeleno, Jackie comes across as low-key to an almost catatonic degree.

I mean, she hasn't killed anyone while drunk-driving down Sunset or Pacific Coast Highway. And she's one of only a few local celebrities whose names never surfaced during the Pellicano investigation.

Jackie's a quiet old-fashioned girl. I bet she darns her own athletic socks.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

girlsintuxedos — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:40:01 EDT

@phlox: Ha! I've got the Ana love, but my attraction, as one of the fairer sex, lies with the fairer sex.

I'm actually in a SS tribute band over in NZ, rocking the Babydaddy drag. Yes, really.

girlsintuxedos

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Shazzer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:21:12 EDT

I SO do not get this. Jackie Warner is a walking billboard for the sapphic set's (stereotypically) worst qualities. To me she's a melodramatic narcissist with predatory tendencies and I hate that she's the only non-fictional lesbian that middle America knows.

But that being said, I freely admit to being totally sucked in by the show.

Shazzer

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

donmiguel — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:40:18 EDT

I'm sorry, but girl-crushes? As a non-geigh dude, I've always thought that 99% of women were at least bi-friendly. And of course, that it was 100% a bad idea to express ideas that included the phrase 99% of women -- but I digress.

donmiguel

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Hamud Ibn Hamud — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 00:59:12 EDT

@hughman:

I'm fruitier than thou and I, too, love Jackie.

She reminds me of great athletic dyke-pals I had when I was young. Of all possible friendships in the world, there are perhaps none tighter than those between a gay man and a gay woman who have a little physical attraction for each other. In the bargain, you get exciting-but-safe mutual admiration.

And, Lord have mercy, did those athletic dykes know how to have fun. A dyke volleyball championship somewhere? They'd pack everyone into cars and we'd all hit the road for three days. With lots of tequila.

Now these gals have tenured positions teaching things like Caribbean literature. We exchange email. They have long-term girlfriends with whom they've bought at least one home. But, damn, we had so much fun together before life got serious.

Hamud Ibn Hamud

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

phlox — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 00:40:14 EDT

@girlsintuxedos: True that. I do lust Ana; almost as much as I lust after Jake.
@NeverEnough: I know. *Sigh*
First day w/my new avitar. At least we know he's emotionally unavailable going in, right?

phlox

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

hughman — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:58:27 EDT

as a geigh, i'm all down with jackie until i get to, you know. the THING. otherwise i love her. i think it's just more how you roll.

hughman

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

skahammer — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:18:00 EDT

@skahammer: See, you'd think a feature with "This Week in" in the title would automatically appear weekly, but I wanted to make sure there was absolutely no doubt at all.

skahammer

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

skahammer — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:06:35 EDT

If "This Week in Girlcrushes" doesn't become a weekly feature here (or possibly on Jezebel) by May at the latest, then clearly no one is minding the store at Gawker Media.

(Um, can anyone confirm for me it's not on Jezebel already? I get scared when I go over there and don't recognize anyone.)

skahammer

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Products Will Save Me — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:49:02 EDT

Jim McGreevey was once a married straight girl too. And just look.

Products Will Save Me

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Dog Language — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:54:25 EDT

"She" looks like a pre/mid-pubescent Hitler Youth inductee.

Siege Pediheil

[histclo.com]

Dog Language

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

bugupit — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:50:42 EDT

I have a coif crush on both Jackie and Shannyn Sossamon.

bugupit

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

pie — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:46:55 EDT

The term "girl crush" makes me want to hurl.

pie

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

htotheomo — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:46:06 EDT

As a Geigh, this is so fascinating.

If this were a guy, we'd already be out lasso'ing him.

Don't think your husbands don't have the same thoughts.

htotheomo

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

JinxyMcDeath — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:33:02 EDT

I'm a straight girl who has a total girl crush on Jackie...and its freaking me out. I have to admit though, I like her butchier, with the shorter haircut than the bob she has now...and I'm so glad I'm not alone in my faux lesbianism.

JinxyMcDeath

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

tudobem — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:32:36 EDT

1. I hate Andy Cohen. He annoyes the holy hell out of me on those Bravo specials.

2. I get the Jackie attraction but coming from a married straight girl, she has nothing on Dani from the Tila Tequila show. I loved her so much I think my husband got nervous.

tudobem

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

SpoiledGirlieGirl — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:22:47 EDT

I've had plenty of girl crushes and I get nothing from her. Never in a million years would this girl cross my mind when I'm trying to pull a little girl on girl action fantasy in my head. But, I've been stuck on Joey Lauren Adams ever since I saw Chasing Amy.

SpoiledGirlieGirl

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

SayHeyJay — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:58:43 EDT

@AndSheSaid:
I want Jackie's vaj.

SayHeyJay

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

girlsintuxedos — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:29:30 EDT

@phlox: I don't think anyone can take that role away from the lovely Ms. Ana Matronic.

girlsintuxedos

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

NeverEnough — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:04:37 EDT

@phlox: Morrissey! dreamy sigh

NeverEnough

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

phlox — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 15:33:28 EDT

Soccer moms? Pshaw. Call me when the hardcore powerbottom geighboys develop a girlcrush on her, then I'll be impressed.

phlox

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Theda_Bara — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 15:17:47 EDT

I have had many girl crushes, but I have never felt the need to qualify them by telling everyone I'm straight. It's like that time one male student grabbed his friend's ass and said, "No Homo."

Theda_Bara

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Tammany_Fall — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:51:43 EDT

(OK, apologies if this posts twice ...)

Meh, indeed. My current girlcrush is Freaks and Geeks-era Busy Phillips. I want her to slam me against a locker and steal my girl-ginity AND my lunch money. Twice.

Tammany_Fall

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

Tammany_Fall — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:46:46 EDT

Meh, indeed. My girlcrush of the moment is Freaks and Geeks-era Busy Phillips. I want Kim Kelley to push me up against a locker and take my girl-ginity AND my lunch money. Twice.

Tammany_Fall

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

NeverEnough — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:41:29 EDT

Her? Really? To each her own. I'd personally beat my elderly parents to death with a pickaxe to get my mouth around Shannon Sossamon.

NeverEnough

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:39:21 EDT

@AndSheSaid: me 2 ... i had a girl crush a long time ago on someone just like her

if_i_only_had_a_heart

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

belltolls — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:22:53 EDT

All I can say is the Times is getting WACKY! And Spiegelman, you are a frikkin hit machine with these stories. Bravo.

belltolls

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

SheWalkedWithAZombie — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:22:44 EDT

I want Jackie's abs.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

SSteele — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:19:09 EDT

I wonder if the yucky Andy Cohen ever gets propositioned via email? Hork.

I wish Bravo would send him to Outer Mongolia on permanent assignment.

SSteele

American Housewives Wanna Get With This Lesbian

if_i_only_had_a_heart — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:18:57 EDT

girl crushes are so cute

if_i_only_had_a_heart