<![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play? - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play? - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Well, y'all can keep your eyes on the lesbianic over- and undertones. I'm just waiting for Spike and Andrew to make out.

So close this week. SO close.

Elektra

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: Very true. Iron Chef freaking ruled--I learned so much about food from that show! And I always loved Chef Sakai with his amazing culinary skills and granny glasses...it would be such a privlege to eat one of his meals.

bellethellama

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> I'm looking forward to when Bravo rebrands itself to BitchTV, and then launches its sister network, ButchTV.
Take that, Oprah!

SayHeyJay

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> but the real gay one is the girl with the eyebrow ring!
eyebrow rings, always questionable mmhmm.


polaroid

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> you have a "live television"?

sidemouse

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Richard FTW in my opinion. Unless he really fucks up, he's gotta win. He never freaks out on people and is always so well thought out with his food. I hate his hair, but he's got a good vibe.

disinterested 3rd party

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> eyebrow ring should have been booted instead.

miss_roxxan

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint: He was a fussy dick who at one point appeared to be eating with his elbows on the table.

lawyergay

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> The most annoying thing about last night was that for some odd reason Bravo briefly got prudish and didn't really show us the 'phallic' dish. We weren't allowed a close enough look to tell if the dish looked erotic or not.

Why is Nikki still there? She is craptastic. The judging is patchy, to say the least.

SSteele

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @SoleilMoonPie: You're absolutely right!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> p.s. I, too, am glad you're back with this, JDS!

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: Ahhh. Hm. I can't really like someone called Spike on principle.

@MrMisterJ: Servicey! Thanks! I'll have to check those places out, for sure.

@Pesquyist: Ha! Now I'm picturing him as Frank from 30 Rock!

@bellethellama: I kinda thought that was endearing? Kinda!

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: I loathe Spike and all of his stupid hats. I particularly appreciated him showing all of us idiots that yes, you're supposed be tasting your food as you make it and-gasp!-seasoning as appropriate.

He and Sourpuss Lisa need to go.

bellethellama

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: Believe me, once you see his litany of preposterous hats (mercifully mostly absent last night) you'll change your tune.

Pesquyist

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint:

Totally. But I loved the ridiculous cut to him cowering behind those enormous boxes of cooking supplies. The product placement continues to spiral out of control.

transomist

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth

Halo-halo (from "halo" = mix) is a favorite Filipino dessert or snack. It is basically a mixture of sweet preserved beans(red beans, chick peas), coconut meat (macapuno), jackfruit (langka), pounded dried rice (pinipig), sweet yam (ube), cream flan (leche flan), shreds of sweetened plantain (saba), filled with crushed ice, milk (or coconut milk) and topped with ice cream. The halo-halo basically is sweet, creamy, and a filling dessert.

But traditionally it doesn't have pistachio.

Cendrillon in SoHo has a pretty good Halo-Halo, more upscale. Elvies Turo Turo in the E.Vil has a good one too, more traditional.

MrMisterJ

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> I've been waiting for eyebrow girl to go forever. Why was she not kicked off for refusing to include Polish sausage in a meal where the main ingredient was supposed to be Polish sausage? Ugggh.

demetria23

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> What about when Lisa and Antonia did a shot of tequila in front of the judges and didn't share? Not only was that weird as hell, it was also the height of rudeness.

SoleilMoonPie

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: Spike. The hat-wearing asswipe whom I do not like.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: Which is the momma's boy?

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Did anyone think the guest judge was kind of a dick with a minor speech impediment?

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: One is crazy and the other works as product placement for Big Douchebag.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @minou: I am going to credit the sassy glasses.

Also, I think Tom actively hides his wedding ring, which is thoughtful of him.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: Oh, and I didn't like the other soup dude. I liked the one that said he made it like his momma.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: Talk to me again about the soup dudes after you watch a second episode.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> By the way, I think it's a "Sapphic" morality play.

Oh my god it's working.

minou

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> And another thing! When Padma's face changed upon hearing that the drunken magenta dish included chorizo instead of Polish sausage, I felt a chilllll.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @minou: Holy shit. Bravo is trying to TURN ME GAY.

minou

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @minou: I would consider going lezebel for Jen. I just dug her spirit, corny as that sounds.

RocketRockit

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @karion: So what is this "Jen is adorable" phenomenon? Before last night, I was kind of indifferent to her. Then, as soon as the opening credits were over I was all "gosh she has beautiful skin... what a nice voice," etc etc. Is Bravo really that subtly manipulative?

(I mean I believe they are manipulative, obviously, but usually we notice.)

minou

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint: The American version is crap.

I really wish I paid attention to who everybody was last night so I could actually contribute something...
I liked the dude who made the soup.


DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @Chief Wahoo: Australians are the ones descended from convicts and retarded monkeys.

Man, what a show.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Jennifer's real problem is that she has the same stupid-looking fauxhawk that Richard does.

And there just wasn't room on this show for two identical, stupid-looking fauxhawks. Especially since the guy with one of them may win this thing.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @Pope John Peeps II: I forget, which ones are convicts and which ones are hobbits?

Chief Wahoo

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Ha! How did that escape me?

@karion: Richard is a ringer. He's Top Chef's David Archuleta.

@DorothyMantooth: Fabulous show. The American version just isn't the same.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @karion: @fiveinchtaint: Wow, they are!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> I really liked Jen, too. In fact as of last night, before she got the boot, she was about to edge out Jackie Warner on my list of "Women I Would Switch Teams For." Now it'll just be me, the memories, and Mary J Blige.

minou

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: Antonia, which is a beautiful-sounding thing to be called.

I agree. Expecially when Padma says it with her beautiful voice.

The most beautiful-sounding thing of all will happen when Padma croons, "Antonia, please pack your knives and go."

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> I loved Jennifer's exit. She said something like "Cook your flavors!" and then walked out of the Glad family of products green room backwards with her fist in the air.

lawyergay

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Oh, and Padma is obvs using red scar makeup now because that shit was extra gruesome last night.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint:
I think that is exactly who Josh picked. I can't imagine any other scenario.

Also, Jen was actually adorable in this episode. Almost distracted me from Tom.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint: I still say that none of these shows have got anything on the original Iron Chef. THAT was a cooking and eating show.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> I really liked Jen (a lot more than generally whiny Zoi). I was shocked that she was kicked off. The shit that Antonia and the other one pulled with the Polish sausage was ridiculous. Lisa? Is that her name? No go. She keeps talking about how she won't dumb down her food. Have you watched "Top Chef" before, lady? Do you know what this show is about? Richard is burning through this competition because he is willing to adapt to everything -- leading groups, making pastries, not chem-ing everything up. That's why he's going to win, and that's why Lisa's attitude is going send her and her knives a-packin.

RocketRockit

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @TedSez: You're right, and those menage a trois/orgy jokes were so so funny!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint: Ha ha.

"You're thinking of Australians, not New Zealanders."
"Yah, but the accent sounds really the same."
"No, not at all. They're all like 'Weeyyyiirs the caaaawwwr' and we're all like 'weeyyyyiirs the caaaawwr'"



Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @DorothyMantooth: Well it is certainly no Rock of Love but if you're into the whole cooking and eating thing, it's the best game in town. Way better than Hell's Kitchen - more focus on cooking and less on bullshit.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> You guys missed the best part: Those poor people doing two shows a night at Second City in hopes of becoming the next Rachel Dratch got a free meal.

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> When Kevin Bacon's great-grandfather came over on the boat he had to change his last name, which was originally Pancetta.

Smitros

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint: Lisa. Such a whiner.

SarahMcL

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Can someone go back and see what we predicted for the final 3? It's gotta be Richard, Dale and Stephanie.

@mathnet: Kiwi, Aussie. Is there really a difference? I think NZ is just more quaint as evident in Babe.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @Richard:well the nazi's invaded Poland then escaped to countries like Chili where Kevin Bacon once shot part of movie!

StrawBerryShortCake

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @MrMisterJ: Whatever that stuff was, it looked so freakin' good!! Oh! The pisctachios on top? My goodness.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fiveinchtaint: Yeah! Someone persuaded me to watch this show for the very first time -- ever! -- last night, and I gotta say that I was expecting a helluva lot more cattiness and shit, considering what I had read (okay, skimmed) here.

Also, I simply cannot understand how anyone could not love Polish sausage! If there is one refrain that I am most known for uttering, it's that I love me some tubed meats.

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @MrMisterJ: I can't wait for the episode where they reveal to you whether or not you're gay!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> usualLY, Richard.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> I think you're all forgetting the real star of the night: Dale's Halo-Halo. As a New York Jewish Filipino possible queer who worked on a previous season of Top Chef I'm uniquely qualified in saying that Dale rocks.

MrMisterJ

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> The mental one? Was mental in a more pleasant, positive-attitude way last night so I didn't focus as much negative energy on him as I usual do, which meant that Spike received more than his typical dose of my aslghlashghdgl hatred.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @fileunder:
"Mark the Kiwi," sorry.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @karion: Thank you! It's a pleasure being back for this! And yes, Lisa is the worst. She's such a bitter hag. Her whole "I'm not going to cook what some drunk assholes call out" shtick is elitist and a poor mask for her inability to cook a sausage. And her face! Aiee!!

Joshua Stein

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Can someone at Gawker HQ go downstairs to Public and see if Mark the Aussie is still working there? Expense it.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Gawd, Antonia. She needs to go awizzay.

zaky

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @karion: @fiveinchtaint: He's a Kiwi, people, and it is a totally different thing when he makes shrimp-on-the-barbie jokes.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @Richard: AS. Sheesh.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @karion: Yes - thanks Josh!
This episode depressed the bacon out of me for some reason.
I'm also tired of Lisa's eyebrow piercing.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: Polish people are gay.

moff

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @karion: Yeah, the Aussie is nigh elimination. In fact, he and his partner (ugh - I can't remember any names) were really the JV squad. I think they're the worst two on the show, technically. And it looks like Dundee flips out a little next week.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> FYI: Ted Allen is not Polish, everybody. But he is gay!!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> This brought me a surprising amount of joy. Your work here has been missed, Josh, and I thank Denton for paying you nothing to come back and recap.

@mathnet: I have grown to love Antonia, just for her name, and I am ready for the Aussie to go home. Also, everybody is starting to look alike.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: There is nothing so Polish or sausage-y Chilean fish.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> @mathnet: Yes! I think the one that isn't Antonia should have gone. What a whiny turd.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Wow. It's like we watched two different shows. I didn't get any of that. It was a positively sunny episode overall with everyone being bestest friends. I really think they fucked up by booting Jennifer. It should have been one of the polish sausage bitches. The more foul mouthed, negative one. What's her face.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> Jennifer, I like you and I wish both Polish-sausage-haters had been kicked off the show last night even though one of them is named Antonia, which is a beautiful-sounding thing to be called.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[Is Top Chef Just One Big Lesbianic Morality Play?]]> She was eliminated for commenting while packing her knives post-challenge that her doing so was an omen of what was to come.

mathnet

]]>