<![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> "Gutfeld's original rant was a straw-man argument harping on the lack of civility on the internet, with some piss-ant idea that a combination of roaming Gawker editors and commenter self-legislation would make all honky-dory. Nice to see the real piss-and-vinegar he was carping about comes in paragraph form, directly from the non-anonymous Managing Editor. Eat the ghostly-transparent, less than manly shit that droops from my spineless coccyx, Greg. Denton's got the real goods, but I'm not sure you want them."

BE MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER~~~~~~Please. lol

BeachLover420

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @La Cieca

Ooooh, you're right. I'm guessing grain alcohol injected directly into the heart, no?

The best line from the article about Greg was when he said he liked guys like Paul Lynde who were funny and of "indeterminate sexuality." Dude, I was five when I watched Hollywood Squares and I knew Paul Lynde was gay. Heck, the giant load of crap in my diaper could tell he was gay. Moon people from VENUS could tell he was gay!

But Greg could not. Interesting.

Smirk

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I really tried to watch both the Gutfeld clips, but the horribly wooden delivery stopped me cold at about 20 seconds each time.

Didn't FoxNews learn from that Daily Show rip off that FoxNews + funny = cringe-inducing lack of mirth?

maryn

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Someone needs to set Greg up on a play date with Matt Sanchez.

Durannie

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @ragepotato: I guess that would be white pages, FUCKBRAIN!

ragepotato

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @MisterHippity: I'm convinced that 1) I am going to be laughing at those jokes for at least six hours, 2) I am going to have to explain why I liked those jokes so much when I am in hell, and 3) Gutfeld is blind drunk and cursing the lack of Hippity listings in the New York yellow pages.

ragepotato

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> So Red Eye is on after the repeat of Greta at 1 and Brit Hume at 2? That's embarrassing.

bananappeal

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> PS-The real reason he didn't hold up his end of the swap is that Perrine's wife was...ah, let's just say not very attractive.

SecureLocation

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> You forgot to include Men's Health in the list of magazine's Gutfeld was fired from.

SecureLocation

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Bell County: Right? Any good republican should have left the poor woman alone, crying and gone to the nearest public restroom to cruise for sex. He's out of the club.

LoveHandles

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Mediahohoho: Very nice.

it takes a lot to laugh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @the supergoddess: How's this?

it takes a lot to laugh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I can't help but see this as a Cheeveresque story of modern office politics and marital hijynx gone horribly, horribly awry. I mean, think about it, you have the Big Fucking Deal Art Director guru guy (yawn) and the clearly-over-his-head- editor completely in his sway, a few martinis, some bitter George and Martha exchanges between the marrieds, Perrine takes the date upstairs for a conscience-free romp, Gutterball removes his shirt, and drunk wifey bursts into tears.

I think I'll call it, "The Dinner Party".



Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @MisterHippity: the poor farm animal

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @BettyCrocker: i thought the same re george clooney and his child girlfriend ...

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @BettyCrocker:

well if the geighs don't want him and teh str8s don't either, god have mercy i hope he's not into goats

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Gutfeld's original rant was a straw-man argument harping on the lack of civility on the internet, with some piss-ant idea that a combination of roaming Gawker editors and commenter self-legislation would make all honky-dory. Nice to see the real piss-and-vinegar he was carping about comes in paragraph form, directly from the non-anonymous Managing Editor. Eat the ghostly-transparent, less than manly shit that droops from my spineless coccyx, Greg. Denton's got the real goods, but I'm not sure you want them.

drugman

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Conbon:

Dear Conbon:

I don't really see the point, sir, in mocking me. After all, I sent you that Altoids sandwich in the mail last week. Did you not receive it?

Perhaps you would like to take a walk with me in the park. I find that collecting sap in a pewter bucket is the perfect salve to uneventful days.

I will forgo further payments until the honeydew melons are ripe. Until then, please be sure to return the rake after you've finished collecting the leaves. You know better than anyone how much I hate compost.

Love,

Rachel "Batten Down the Hatch" Dratch

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @the supergoddess: Sorry, lost in the move. He was a Sloper who lived on a cat-sounding street, I forget, tho.

YourGoldKeith

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @it takes a train to cry: sorry, I don't submit to being slapped around by guys who can't even commit to an avatar.

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I love the fact that the chyron word HOST is so much bigger than Greg's name. Of course, I'd love it more if the big word was PARASITE, but you can't always get what you want.

MrInBetween

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Sarcastro: If they all did, wouldn't that just make him a giant?

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> his name ryhmes with Leg Butfeld

notworkin

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @the supergoddess: Uh, I can do a fine impersonation...just to help you out, of course.

it takes a lot to laugh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Nick Denton: My definition of "good story" and yours are obviously quite different.

@Bell County: Exactly.

BeRightBack

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @hamburgerhotdog:
I thought all of the commenters were responsible for that.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Richard: No, come on now! The whole place is like that bathroom from Trainspotting! Only with less acquatic whimsy and more pantsless hooker-y bartenders!

Oh, okay, I guess it is the best bar ever.

flipper baby

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @YourGoldKeith: ooh he is? um, do you have his number?

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Oh, and thanks Nick!

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Blech.
I'd rather have another kind of 'red eye' at 3AM, even if it stings more than this.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Hey, what do you call Tony Snow when he gets all sickly and emaciated?

Bony Snow!

Hey, what should Tony Snow shout out just before he dies?

I'm melting! Melting!

Hey, what will Tony Snow say after he's dead?

He'll have no comment.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Sailor: Also, I marvel at the marvelous marble upon which an old women unceremoniously warbles, but due to the acoustics, it's garbled... marvelously garbled. I want to pinch her cheeks - her ass cheeks; both of them. Marvelous.

jackvinyl

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Sailor: I agree, but they needn't be Proust to be evocative.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]>

[www.tvguide.com]

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @ADismalScience:
Disagree, ADS. Perrine could have been getting back at Christine (first wife) for being such a slut when they were first married. He holds grudges, y'know.
@Nick Denton: Don't forget, SP's a sadist - how about the time he threw his wife down the steps at a party?



YourGoldKeith

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Sailor: All that tells me is that he's not a DC comics fan but really... who is?

hypocriteoath

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I couldn't place the face, but now I can.

True, Angry Kid has better hair, but you can't hide the Greg, even under the $12.00 Larry Harmon Wig. I bet this gig pays better. Oh, wait,cable access doesn't pay at all, right?

[Really milking this Greg Gutfield snory for all it's worth, eh Nick?]

McCheeburger

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @In Other News...: I didn't! Although I heard Rachel "Bitter Snatch" Dratch did.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @BettyCrocker: With sentences like "I marvel quietly at the wood panelling, the Italian marble and granite in the bar. I also marvel at the Japanese businessmen mulling about the lobby. I want to pinch their cheeks," I'd say those sentences are barely strung together, if that.

JC Costa

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Greg Guttfield is an asshole!!

That's Hippity .... H-I-P-P-I-T-Y.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @if_i_only_had_a_heart: I honestly think he is not, though there is a bit of hopeful optimism attached to that. However, the 'clueless 25 year old foriegn wife' bit makes me nervous. "Oh, honey, it's not gay if I get a BJ from a dude - that's just American, like shaking hands!"

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Conbon: DON'T MAKE FUN OF TINA FEY. Now say you're sorry.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @La Cieca: Oh. I knew that.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @ADismalScience: Use this simple rule: there is no "i" in "complete and utter douchebag".

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> That was a cool story, Nick.

Do you have any more? How about one about Greg Gutfield fucking a large farm animal?

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @BettyCrocker: is he one of those who's the last to know he's gay?

i think his problem is that nobody wants him, not the str8s, not the geighs, nobody

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> 1. maybe julia allison should date him

2. maybe julia allison should blow tony snow

if_i_only_had_a_heart

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]>

Here's the whole backstory on a sad, wasted life: [www.observer.com]

Money quotes - he loved Paul Lynde as a child and liberal men are "going against their natures".

*shudders*

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I don't understand the balls quote. I didn't think balls were detachable and I've been around the a few times, if you know what I mean.

kathotdog

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Smirk: Journalists drink a lot even when they work for relatively legit media. Now imagine what it's like to work at Fox News.

La Cieca

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Since when does Fox News count as being part of the media?

Ha Ha Sound

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> What I can't understand is why Greg has let himself GO like he has? I mean, I saw a picture of him from years ago and he was buffed and ripped and (cringe) kinda hot and now...this!? Why would you do that? And then go on TV! Knowing the pictures of your previous hotness were still out there, for comparison! That's just ASKING for a self-loathing enema! Nevermind the 3am television show on Fox!

Makes my brain hurt...

Smirk

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> This is all just a ploy for him to 'date' JA.
Cancer + Herpes = irrelevant media whores


StabbyFerosh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Conbon:

La Cieca

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Ha, in his lust to start a swaggering fight with us, the faceless commenters, Greggie exacted the wrath of Nick Denton himself. Well done, Greg.

sassypants

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Hmph. I went to the internetz to find more dirt, and regrettably, I discovered that with a proper editor, he can actually string together a sentence. [www.simonsays.com]

However, he had to dumb it down significantly for FOX, as his blog shows. They don't even read as though they were written my the same person! Way to circle the bowl, Greg.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Oh, I keep calling him Gutfield. Sorry Gutfeld; you're just so inconsequential that I don't exactly have it memorized.

ADismalScience

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @sassypants: oh please don't. though the gesture is a lovely one, mr. denton requires that I serve as his taster and the last time he was sent baked goods from an admirer I was sick for days - the doctors suspect veninum lupinum crushed and mixed into frosting.

who knew that sloane crosley was such a vindictive bitch.

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> In fact, the plausibility of this story is nil. It is zero. Fucking think about this, people. There are like a dozen totally implausible events described here, but here are the least believable:

1.) Gutfield gets date
2.) Perrine finds Gutfield's date attractive
3.) Somehow, a woman-swap is negotiated over dinner between Gutfield and Perrine
4.) This woman swap is CONSUMMATED IN THE SAME HOUSE IMMEDIATELY
5.) Greg doesn't get his, or try to get his
6.) Gutfield ultimately tried to be the nice guy
7.) Everyone somehow leaves (?) and presumably gets ice cream







ADismalScience

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Now Nick Denton himself does not.

jackvinyl

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> And I'll even give you my real name. Just don't ask me to spell it.

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Oh fuck the spelling. Go ahead, Greg: there's your lede:

COMMENTER CAN'T EVEN SPELL FUCK YOU WRITE!

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Lest we forget, this is the man who gave Julia Allison her first television gig.

hamburgerhotdog

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Conbon: That was supposed to be @Bell County. So, um, @it takes a train to cry: Who's Tiny Fey?

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @it takes a train to cry: Yeah this story isn't all that embarassing, is it? It's certainly no worse than the time I [redacted].

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> How does that even work?

Did Perrine just go upstairs with Gutfield's state under the pretense that they were going to hang a very exciting picture over the bed or something? Did Gutfield stay on the basis of humanizing dignity or a pathetic attempt to get his side of the bargain? I can't envision this all going down without developing a sudden, horrible ache where my brain was.

ADismalScience

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @Bell County: There's nothing more consoling than the grunting, sweaty thrusts of Greg Gutfeld.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Greg, takes it in the gut, felled.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Off-topic, but revelatory of how Gawker is esteemed compared to, say, middle-of-the-night talk shows on Fox, this just arrived from Mediapost:

IN 10 YEARS FROM NOW, the upfront advertising market will still be around. But it may not exactly look the same. Tiny Fey may be hosting a fingernail-biting show on Gawker.com that you might want to buy for your nail polish client.

it takes a lot to laugh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> No argument, it does reflect badly on him that he didn't want to have sex with a visibly upset woman and instead tried to make her feel better.

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @VirusWithShoes: And, if we're lucky, his trots will develop ALS.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> HOT! In a very weird sort of way.

Nic Fit

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @BettyCrocker: Well we (hetero ladies) don't want him either!!!!!

@Nick Denton:
Nick, I absolutely adore you for this post. Smitten. I am considering baking you cookies as a thank you.

P.S. Please remind me to never be on your bad side.

sassypants

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> May your cells divide uncontrollably, Greg.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @KarenUhOh: I'm not sure if this is relevant to your thematic trajectory, but, no, G-R-A-T-U-I-T-O-U-S-L-Y, Karen.

luv,
House Proofreader (or so he'd like to think)


TheologicalSong

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> But this means that people, other than Gutfield himself, talk about Greg Gutfield.

This does not square with reality.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> How is it possible that this story doesn't have Neal Boulton in it?

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @McMurphy: So the lobotomy didn't work after all! Like Chief, you just pretended.

And I suspect the wife in question was crying at the prospect of having to have relations with Greg. Either that, or because Tony Snow has cancer.

it takes a lot to laugh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @McMurphy: Is there going to be a punchline to that, or did you think that yours was a worthwhile contribution as is?

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @McMurphy: I hope his cancer gets diarrhoea.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I hope he gets cancer.

McMurphy

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Greg cannot be gay. Want to know why?

We don't want him.

Few gay men are constipated - we know all about the fiber. And while we love attention, we do something fabulous to get it rather than spending time in front of a FOX camera screaming like a bloaty dry-drunk fratboy and lobbing softball comments at paid sycophants.

And finally, no self-respecting gay would ever let anyone film him with that preposterous haircut and JFP pink shirt collection.

BettyCrocker

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @ext212: Best bar ever.

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Goddamn you, Perinne.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Thank god I'm a blue-blooded heterosexual. We never find ourselves in such awkward situations.

Conbon

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Greg Gutfeld is a bad person! A very awful person!

There. As a Gawker commenter, I've done my part.

Princess Sparkle Pony

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @KarenUhOh: I don't mean to be gratuitous about this, but it goes G-R-A-T then U-I etcetera.

As for Gutfeld, from his name to his mien, he's just so average.

donmiguel

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> SOCRATIC DIALOGUE INDEED, SIR! HOLY CRAP MR. DENTON, WHEN YOU GIVE IT YOU GIVE IT FUCKING GOOD. (in my excitement I've gone all caps!)

the supergoddess

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> @KarenUhOh: Too good a story not to run at some point. That's what we're here for: those stories that journalists tell eachother and never make it into print.

Nick Denton

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> His hair is on fire.

JC Costa

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> I know Port 41!

ext212

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> G-R-A-T-O-U-I-T-usly, Karen.

K-U-O, Greg.

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[The Night Greg Gutfeld Lost His Date]]> Oh, well. That was just a bit gratuiotously nasty, wasn't it?

I would have just set his hair on fire.

KarenUhOh

]]>