<![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> I can haz muffburger?

(A muff being an accessory to a fur coat, of course. Ahem.)

TripMcCane

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> The $10,000 fine is for not wearing the coat as it was intended to be worn: with a black lace bra and stonewashed denim jeans, while riding through Brighton Beach in a white convertible with one primer gray door.

winniemc

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Markova, animal fur isn't yours to begin with.
You got your ugly coat back, now your greedy little eyes are seeing dollar signs.
Donate it to the homeless and get a life.

sharpeiboy

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Gogol predicted this in the "Overcoat." Who knew he was a sort of celeb-scandal Nostradamus?

"This occurrence made a deep impression upon him. He even began to say less frequently to the under-officials, "How dare you? do you realize who stands before you?" and, if he did utter the words, it was after first having learned the bearings of the matter. But the most noteworthy point was, that from that day the apparition of the dead official quite ceased to be seen; evidently the general's overcoat just fitted his shoulders; at all events, no more instances of his dragging coats from people's shoulders were heard of."

skeletonhead

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> You have to admit, she does look good in the coat.

nicepony

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> She should subpoena Samantha Ronson to testify about a Lilo's mink-snatch habit.

AndIAmTellingYou

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...:
MARKOVA (angry)
You disgrace the memory of my babushka!

LOHAN
Is that like a bread or something?

Mazeltov!

wrongneighborhood

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Nevermind the coat! What the hell does she have in her hand????

heartbreakturnip

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> When she saw this coat she thought it was beaver and she had to take it. There are other photos of her licking it.

scarletmenace

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> This is how Dina defines success.

spanktastic

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @minx: One of the unwritten rules about being a party crasher is that it's your duty to steal everything that isn't nailed down.
@ShoplifterOfTheWorld: Oh the devil will findwork for idle hands to do. I stole and then I lied, and why? because you asked me to.
@In Other News...: I've been out of the loop, but you are spot on here.

riskybusiness

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> sticky fingers at a party is inexcusable - it's not a nightclub, you're a guest. What if Lilo had stolen her host's 12k family heirloom painting off the wall?

minx

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Mike_Jahn: She probably ought to give Lilo $10,000 for getting her name in the news. The Tins is probably throwing coats at people as we speak.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> What the $10,000 for? What does that coat need as a result of spending two weeks with LiLo? Therapy?

Mike_Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise: @Hez: So I fell asleep, and woke up to - swearsies! - a test of the Emergency Alert System. At 2:32AM EST. Upon completion of the test, I stood up and thought it was Friday. Then I looked at my computer to find comments about steroids and a marrying Sulu. I then realized it was not Friday.. Sad!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Wasn't there an attractive coat to steal?

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Fur is dead Ruskie! My friends in PETA plan to find you in it and douse that coat in red paint. You better NEVER wear it in public again. Ever. It's ugly. Like you. LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE!

BooWahBabe

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Bell County: he thrust his WHAT into her hand ???

Minsley Tortimer

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> how is everyone missing the obvious joke, that perhaps her notorious dyed-to-match-snatch suddenly balooned to envelope her?

Minsley Tortimer

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...: Speaking of Chekov, Sulu's gettin hitched!

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...:
Your idioms, they flee me.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise:
PAVEL CHEKOV
Perhaps you have heard old story of "Cinderella." If shoe fits, vear it!.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...:
Is offence if we test you for steroids now, Comrade InOtherNews?

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Kashtanka whined louder. The fat stranger stroked her back and marvelled at her copper hue.

Kashtanka shuddered with all her might.

The plump man removed his mink coat and covered the helpless stray, a charitable smile visiting his round, greasy lips.

Kashtanka ran with all her might. She could not hold on to the man's coat, but she had felt, long enough, the embrace of a stranger, and casting aside the mink coat in her haste, realized that she was not a miserable creature, after all.

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise:

MARKOVA
So you like coat?

LOHAN
Yes, it's so warm and cuddly.

MARKOVA
And smell like grandmother.

LOHAN
Ew?

MARKOVA
Grandmother dead. She give me coat and you take.

LOHAN
My arms did smell of moldy toast and seaweed afterward.

MARKOVA
Da. She had high jeans problem.

LOHAN
Ew.

MARKOVA
So you take coat from coat check, and perhaps not notice I would notice?

LOHAN
Like I said, warm, furry. Want some blow?

MARKOVA (angry)
You disgrace the memory of my babushka!

LOHAN
Is that like a bread or something?

MARKOVA
Nyet.

LOHAN
Sex toy?

MARKOVA
Nyet!

LOHAN
Are you sure you don't want some blow?

MARKOVA
Okay, okay, you say sorry for coat first.

LOHAN
Okay. I'm sorry.

MARKOVA
Is not so sincere, this tone of yours.

LOHAN
I am sorry I took your moldy-bread, seaweed-smelling coat.

MARKOVA
Okay, good. Now ve do blow.

LOHAN
I like your style!

MARKOVA
And after, ve go to bottom of Arctic Ocean in bathysphere, and claim vast oil reserves for Mother Russia.

LOHAN (puts both hands on hips; tilts head to the right.)
Did President Putin put you up to this?

MARKOVA (into camera)
Don't you mean... (beat) Prime Minister?

(BOTH LAUGH MANIACALLY. FADE TO BLACK.)

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise:
Have pity on me!" she whispered in his ear. "Oh, have pity on me! I am so miserable!"

"You don't know your part! Listen to the prompter!" hissed the tragedian, and he thrust his sword into her hand.

After the performance, Limonadov and Fenogenov were sitting in the ticket box-office engaged in conversation.

"Your wife does not learn her part, you are right there," the manager was saying. "She doesn't know her line. . . . Every man has his own line, . . . but she doesn't know hers. . . ."

Fenogenov listened, sighed, and scowled and scowled.

Next morning, Masha was sitting in a little general shop writing:

"Papa, he beats me! Forgive us! Send us some money!"

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Richard: We'll never get to Moscow at this rate, will we Ali? What do you think, Di-wait a minute! Are you trying to pretend you're my sister again?

BeRightBack

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @MisterHippity: Actually, she is the Celebu-Twit Ambassador. Which is why our relations with celebu-twits have been deteriorating.

Zorica

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @The Cooler: I'm starting to understand how these socialites who do nothing earn money for fur coats...

ShoplifterOfTheWorld

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Kashtanka looked at the stranger through the snow-flakes that hung on her eyelashes, and saw before her a short, fat little man, with a plump, shaven face wearing a top hat and a fur coat that swung open.

"What are you whining for?" he went on, knocking the snow off her back with his fingers. "Where is your master? I suppose you are lost? Ah, poor doggy! What are we going to do now?"

Catching in the stranger's voice a warm, cordial note, Kashtanka licked his hand, and whined still more pitifully.

"Oh, you nice funny thing!" said the stranger. "A regular fox! Well, there's nothing for it, you must come along with me! Perhaps you will be of use for something. . . . Well!"

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Bell County: "Please Vitaly, I tell you no more Overture of 1812 at bedtime! You are killing me vith ze cannons!"

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @MisterHippity: I do believe she has diplomatic immunity as a former Disney princess of La-la land. You can tell by her special license plates.

SlickaNicka

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...: "Ah, but you see, my Cossacks were cold! Cheka, please!"

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Richard: @rosaluxembourgeoise:

+ Watch video

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> You know, mid five-figures is cheap for fur rental these days. Sure, back in 1922 it was, like, 35 cents, but adjusted for inflation that would be equivalent to high five-figures today.

Monkeyrash

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @rosaluxembourgeoise: @Richard: "I vas once sent to plow the fields in Novaya Zelmnya. It vould have helped for them to inform me the till vould not break ze frozen vastes of ze tundra! My yaks, zey died in vain, alvays complaining ze yaks!"

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> So the item was returned undamaged and she probably has more money than the Lohan family to begin with, but she's going to sue anyway, because it's important that the drunk shoplifter look like the sensible one in this story.

The Cooler

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Fur-snatching: is that something LiLo and Samantha Ronson get up to? Just asking...

GlasgowRose

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Richard:
Dina, convicted as an accomplice (negligence) before the Peoples' Tribunal, is sentenced to 6 months of Mother Courage at Odessa Womens' Collective Theatre!

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> She stole a coat worth $12,000. Never mind the civil suit - why isn't she being arrested for grand theft?

Even if the columbia student isn't pressing charges with the police, Lohan was photographed in the act of committing grand larceny. Shouldn't she be arrested anyway? If I were photographed stealing a car and those photos were broadcast on the news, i'd think the cops would bust me whether the owner pressed charges or not.

And this is the woman who had cops find cocaine in her car and walked away without being charged for that.

Is she immune from any criminal responsiblity, like a diplomat or something?

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Oh, what would we do without the paparazzi to bring justice to evildoers everywhere?

McStinky

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Best of all, the woman behind her in the photo (who appears to be Ashley Alexandra Dupre?) has a look on her face that says: "You know she stole that coat, don't you?"

VoxPopuli

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> What a pickle for Linds!

She can't use the obvious "I was wasted!" excuse without shredding her fragile sobriety cred, but she can't very well admit to Winona-like sticky fingers, either.

Best bet: A Bosnia sniper-fire scenario required a duck and run, and she grabbed the closest mink. [wink]

SlickaNicka

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...: @rosaluxembourgeoise: Someone cut down that damn cherry orchard!

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Fur the love of gawd(iness)!

GlasgowRose

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @In Other News...:
To the great irrigation project in the South! Brecht summer stock in Yalta!

rosaluxembourgeoise

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> To the gulag!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> @Saxon 212: In the clink!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Let the fur fly...

GlasgowRose

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Just to be safe, Dina should return Jocelyn Wildenstein's skin while we're at it.

wanna_are_it

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Mink stink!

Saxon 212

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Get William Hurt on the case!

Richard

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> And what would the "eye for an eye" punishment be here? What's fair compensation for having that thing rub up all in your business?

ClockOnTheStove

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Why doesn't she get the Russian lady to contribute to her birthday, and then they can call it even.

IHateNewYork

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Minchia, Linz!

Bell County

]]> <![CDATA[Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court]]> Idle hands are the devil's playthings.

ShoplifterOfTheWorld

]]>