In a surreal moment of television and civilization as we know it, Toronto mayor Rob Ford withstood three full segments of Jimmy Kimmel's abuse as a guest on tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Kimmel took the opportunity to confront Ford with several memorable moments in recent Ford history, like the drunken Jamaican accent thing and him steamrolling Toronto City Councillor Pam McConnell. Commenting on his greatest hits (except for those from the crack pipe), Ford sweat, muttered, and made only sporadic eye contact, like a nervous fifth grader talking to his crush. "I have a lot of Jamaican friends, and that's how we speak in a private setting," he told Kimmel of his patois. Ford's face was just a few shades lighter than his Santa-red tie.
Speaking of Santa, make sure to catch the footage of Ford tossing candy canes at children as though throwing bread to pigeons in the clip above.
Kimmel also went through some famous absurd pictures of Ford (Ford with a milk mustache, Ford making a baby cry, Ford stuffing his face, etc.) contrasted with normal ones of Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti. Kimmel then pointed out his guest's perspiration and wiped him down. Charitable.
But that's not all. Kimmel also ran down viewers' grievances when they found out Ford was going to be a guest on the show.
Kimmel could have been tougher on the racism and homophobia accusations, but whatever. There wasn't unlimited time and Kimmel clearly felt the need to read Ford with a thoroughness that would impress a drag queen.
Ford, to his credit, was a good sport. A creepy, shifty eyed, hemorrhoid-red good sport who sometimes talked like a CD being fast-forwarded, but a good sport all the same.
Asked about the video showing Ford smoking crack that is in police custody, Ford said, "I want the world to see this video. I'd love to see it. I keep saying show the video." Well, at least we're all on the same team.
Kimmel ended the interview by encouraging Ford to get help for his alcoholism, which was kind of smarmy and counter-productive given how much fun everyone has derived from this man's laundry list of issues. Ford threw his head back and laughed.
Kimmel's other guest was the Muppet Gonzo, which is perfect.