Everyone in the imaginary celebrity-filled high school you—being a quirky and adorable adult with an active fantasy life—attend in your mind is gossiping about your best friend Jennifer Lawrence today, after she spent a large portion of her Wednesday interview with David Letterman talking about being gassy and shitting herself.
Lawrence, who unwittingly consigned herself to a lifetime of indentured best frienditude under your supervision after coming across as VERY AWESOME and EXTREMELY REAL in interviews, was briefly hospitalized before the Monday premiere of her new film The Hunger Games: Catching Fire in Los Angeles with what she originally believed was an ulcer.
Among the symptoms she enumerated on the Late Show: pooping pants.
"You can only shit your pants so many times a day before you, like, have to go to the emergency room."
It was eventually determined that the source of her discomfort and poop-filled pants was just farts. (When a reporter from the New York Daily News asked how she was feeling before the New York premiere on Wednesday, Lawrence responded "Good" and "gassy.")
What a weird best friend you have.