Do You Have What It Takes to Work at this Arkansas P.F. Chang's?

What is the correct way to answer the phone?

Who are the managers of the P.F. Chang's located on South Promenade Boulevard in Rogers, Arkansas?

For what purpose were the Terra Cotta Warriors and Horses created?

If you do not know the answers to these questions, idiot, do not presume that you are qualified to work as a server at the P.F. Chang's located on South Promenade Boulevard in Rogers, Ark.

On Friday, Twitter user @brownpau came across what appears to be a study guide (and corresponding quiz) created for newly-hired servers at an Arkansas P. F. Chang's, hosted on the user-generated quiz website Quizlet. (It may have been inspired by this study guide created for newly-hired servers at a P. F. Chang's in Winter Park, Fla.)

Perhaps, at this stale hour on this muggy, mid-June Friday, you are pondering a career change. Perhaps you are crave a job that combines the stimulation of solo travel across mainland China with the familiarity and railroad history of northwest Arkansas. Perhaps you are considering sliding your letter of resignation under your boss' office door right now, and leaving for the weekend...forever.

But maybe your new career at the Rogers, Ark. P.F. Chang's will not be the piece of P.F. Chang's "Great Wall of Chocolate" cake you are expecting it to be.

For instance: What question should you ask when a guest orders egg rolls or spring rolls: Are you sure? Would you like those on a plate, or on the table itself? Did you say "spring rolls"?

No. All wrong. The correct answer is: "2 or 4?"

It should be noted that, although the information provided in the guide is valuable and engrossing, Quizlet's term-matching platform is not necessarily ideal format to administer an assessment of server aptitude.

For example:

Do You Have What It Takes to Work at this Arkansas P.F. Chang's?

The correct response here is d. Describe the organic agave margarita, because "Topshelf patron, agave juice with fresh sqeezed lime juice served over ice with salt" is neither the recipe for Thai beef noodle salad, nor a twisted whiskey sour, nor is it a list of six hot teas available at P. F. Chang's.

Do you see?

Those seeking a more comprehensive understanding of the inner workings of the Rogers, Ark. P.F. Chang's should also peruse the supplement titled "Changs Day 4 Test," which features additional material not covered on the final exam, such as this explanation of the concept of yin[g] and yang:

Do You Have What It Takes to Work at this Arkansas P.F. Chang's?

How do you determine the guest to whom you should give the dessert menu?

Stop stammering. It's clear you're not ready. This is a trick question. Everyone gets a dessert menu.

[h/t @brownpau // Art by Jim Cooke]