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A reader informed us that if you call (916) CALL-TURK, the cell phone number that Donald Faison's character excitedly procured on a recent episode of Scrubs, you'd get a recording urging you to keep watching the show and vote for it in the People's Choice Awards. Cute. Naturally, we immediately called the number to hear the recording. And because we didn't research it beforehand, we were genuinely surprised when a live person answered the phone. A brief transcript of our call:

Voice: Thanks for calling Turk's cellphone. This is Ted the lawyer speaking. [long pause] Hello?

Defamer: This is a real person?

Voice: Some might debate that, but this is Ted, the lawyer.

Defamer: Um, I didn't expect...to get a real pers—-gotta go!

Sigh. It wasn't until we hung up that we though to ask him what Heather Graham looks like naked. Maybe you'll fare better...