Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to email@example.com and let The Rock know that you think his hair came from a can.
[Note: Due to last week's all-Coachella edition, some of the sightings are a little old. We hope you'll find a constructive way to cope with that fact.]
In this long overdue, big-enough-that-if-you-don't-choke-on-it-you- probably-once-had-a-career-in-porn episode: Lindsay Lohan; Eriq La Salle; Jake Gyllenhaal x2; Luke "The Fudge Pinto" Wilson; The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock and Tom Arnold; Eddie Griffin and Harvey Weinstein; John Cleese and Tim Allen; James Woods; Pat O'Brien; Brittany Murphy; Jon Voight; Michael Vartan and David Hasselhoff; Jay Leno; Jason Lee; Suge Knight; Bill Maher; Harold Perrineau; Rhoan Mitra; William Shatner; John Lydon and Dicky Barrett; Morrissey; Paula Abdul; Anderson Cooper x2; Nick Stahl, Jenna Von Oy, Kevin Dillion, and Matthew St. Patrick; Jeremy Sisto; Danny Masterson; Fred Durst; Lil' John; Jenny McCarthy; Richard Grieco; Laura Leighton; John O'Hurley and Melanie Hutsell; Bree Walker; Clu Gulager and Rodney Bingenheimer; Joel Michaely, Shane West, Thomas Ian Nicholas, and other folk; Zachary Ty Bryan.
· I was in LA last week and saw Lindsay Lohan at Mr. Chow. And surprise! As usual, she didn't eat much and hit the bathroom about 150 times. She was so freakishly skinny that it was painful to look at her.
· Saw Jack Black at the 12:30 press screening for Star Wars III today (5/5) at the Mann/Fox Theatre in Westwood. He walked in with some hirsute friends, sat down quietly, and ate his popcorn. The End.
· I was walking up to Runyon Canyon Saturday morning and I saw a man standing near the gate berating a large, adorable, fairly young dog. I started to laugh as the man was yelling, "How many times do I have to tell you? What did I tell you? What did I tell you? CALM DOWN!" Then the man turned around and I realized it was Eriq La Salle. I shimmied past them and started my hike. Later, as I was going down, Eriq La Salle [Ed.note—Q Smooth!] and his female companion were walking up, and the dog was no longer with them. I felt bad for the poor misbehaving pooch.
· I saw Jake "Dreamy eyes" Gyllenhaal last night (4/10) outside the Arclight. He had supershort hair and was wearing sunglasses and talking on his cell. This is the second time I've seen him in the exact same location in the
last few months. He.Is.Beautiful. I can't wait for his and Heath Ledger's softcore porn to come out.
· Alright, I know you get inundated with sightings of that doe-eyed puppydog Jake Gyllenhaal...so here's another one. He was at the Aimee Mann show at House of Blues last with his dad, director Stephen Gyllenhaal. He was pretty casual, hanging with pops, grooving to the music, dressed down in a modest hoodie, and nobody bugged him, which was cool. Though I wanted to bug him, oh I wanted to bug him sooo bad...
· I saw the brother of Butterscotch Stallion, Luke Wilson, slumming it at Circle Bar in Santa Monica last night. Doesn't he deserve a nickname too? May I suggest "Peppermint Buffalo"? [Ed.note—How can a buffalo and a stallion be brothers? We suggest the "Fudge Pinto" for Luke. Just throwin' it out there.]
· Fri night at Sushi Roku in SM I saw The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock sitting in one of the private booths with some scrawny guy in a tshirt. Looks skinnier in person, but still pretty big, with that weird spray-on hair. Sunday I saw His Holiness Tom Arnold checking out "Crash" on the SM promenade (maybe he wandered in from XXX by mistake). He's still doing that spikey-hair thing with the thick-rimmed glasses. Poor Tom.
· Last night (5/3) at the Four Seasons: Holding court on the outside patio was comedian Eddie Griffin. And later stepping out of a Blue Corniche was Harvey Weinstein. A star studded night indeed.
· 4/28 - On the valet corridor of hell that is La Cienaga between Melrose and Santa Monica Blvd, a very tall, very gray John Cleese window shopping. All furniture and decorating stores. It was 11pm on a Thursday. Odd. Man, he's tall. Meanwhile, down the street at Spanish Kitchen - Tim Allen and pals dining late. Tim The Tool Man Taylor looks like an older version of himself - jowly but healthy. The fact that neither of these celebrity sightings involved Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is overwhelmingly disappointing.
· So I was walking past Il Fornaio on Beverly Dr in Beverly Hills around 11am today and there was this guy outside on a cellphone pacing and loudly talking....I heard him say "Bryan Singer...and Luc Besson" in a voice that seemed very familiar, and looked up to realize it was James Woods. He looked like hell, I hope it's for a movie role. His hair was ghost white in this long, stiff style that looked almost exactly like Al Sharpton's. Wearing glasses, face looked pockmarkey like it does on screen but older. But the hair, oh god the hair. I really hope he's playing Thomas Jefferson or someone from the late 1700's in the future, cause if it's not for a movie role it was frightening.
· Standing outside the Vet's office with my girlfriend and her dogs Saturday, May 7. See Pat O'Brien crossing Melrose walking down Robertson with another dude. He was all smiles. He's VERY red and leathery looking in person. Dr. Phil was nowhere to be seen.
· saw brittany murphy looking prim & proper in a demure white dress (think lawn party on the an scottish
heath) and drinking tea last night @ chateau. also matt dillon dressed to the nines in black pinstripe suit.. he walked in chatted with a few girls & the hostess, walked thru the living room and then walked right back out. strange.
· So i'm sitting with my boyfriend at the good earth on Ventura in Studio City on saturday night, kinda embarrassed that we're the last customers in there. embarrassment be damned! "guess who's right behind you?" said the BF and i excitedly guessed, "Farrah!" (i guess i'm still traumatized by the sight of Miss F. sitting underneath a large self portrait, unaware that she has attained Baby Jane Hudson status.) Anyway, it was Angelina's dad, yep, Joe Buck himself, Jon Voight. He looked snazzy in a black suit and headed to meet an older couple in the back. The two other patrons in the place exchanged glances and actually pointed, but I don't think he noticed or cared. Weird.
· Saw Courtney Cox and David Arquette at Boa on Sunset last night (4/28). They sat outside on the patio, she looked like a REALLY pretty version of your average next door neighbor. Strange paradox, but you'd totally miss her
in a crowd if not for her eyes and now-famous cheekbones/gaunt cheeks. They were with another couple, seemed totally casual. Inside was Sunshine from REMEMBER THE TITANS, the tall blonde guy who did yoga during the movie. Not as blonde as I remembered, but totally hot.
· On Saturday night, I saw Michael Vartan and a male friend at the Beverly Hills Four Seasons. He is soooo hot! Even if he weren't a B-list actor, I would still check him out. Sunday morning, at Mother's Day Brunch at the St. Regis Resort Monarch Beach, I spotted David Hasselhoff. he is super tall and very skinny. After walking around by himself and piling his plate with food, he wandered around aimlessly for about 5 minutes trying to remember where his table was. He looked really lost - it was sad...
· Wednesday evening, about 7 pm, corner of Gardner and Melrose: JAY LENO interviewing "common folks" outside of Louisa's/Jonny Rockets. Camera crew with him and everything. I guess if I watch tomorrow night's "Tonight Show" I could see what the fuss was all about. Mostly I was fascinated by the fact that Jay was wearing both denim jeans AND a denim shirt. They hues did not quite match. That look is so...my post-stroke Grandpa. I would think if you're worth a gazillion dollars (like Jay surely is), someone could dress you properly, right?
· Jason Lee was in full Hubbard-powered force at Spaceland on Friday 4/29, replete with air keyboarding and, I fucking kid you not, The Robot. Do the scientologists now have courses on archaic dance moves? Dude was a pro-skateboarder, you’d think he would have better skills, but I guess The Robot is par for the course for someone who named their soon to be disturbed kid, Pilot Inspektor. He was with his fiancé and apparently in tight with one of the opening bands, so much so that he helped them pack their gear. But seriously, The Robot? I’m burning my copy of Mallrats.
· So I'm pulling into the driveway to Mirabelle's on Sunset this afternoon and I pull behind an OBSCENELY large Bentley and as I'm wondering what obnoxiously rich high-roller is here to partake in the best damn chopped salad on the strip? Well what deadly mountain of a man should climb out the car with a Cuban between his lips? Suge "The Grim Reaper' Knight.. BTW - when I say mountain of a man I'm serious. This dude is huge. Fortunately my salad was to go, otherwise I might have had to beg for mercy. Whew! Dodged a "death row" bullet there. Don't tell him I sent this.
· Another sighting- Bill Maher last night (5/4) at the Open Your Eyes magazine party at Forbidden City. This is a latino men's magazine and the party was stocked with slobbery dudes. Bill showed up with a smokin' hot latina who kept her hands all over him. He is a pimp. They walked from the entrance straight to the outside bar. At that point I left due to the aforementioned slobberers.
· i just saw Lost/Romeo and Juliet/random Ozomatli video guy Harold Perrineau (sp?) in the Home Depot Center parking lot in Carson. Buying soccer tickets, most likely. Wanted to run after him and say how much I love Lost but was 45 minutes late to work. He's pretty hunky, nice chest and arms, probably from building that raft.
· It's nice to know that celebrities are a lot like us. I spotted one-time Lara Croft model Rhona Mitra, now of the Practice and Boston Legal, shopping for groceries at the Albertsons on Lincoln and Ocean Park in Santa Monica, accompanied by an unknown scruffy male (director or musician, if I had to guess). It was about 9:45pm on Saturday, and my girl and I were buying tampons and soda, Rhona? Fat free ice cream and a copy of US Weekly. Only a good night's sleep and lousy memory have prevented me from an even more thorough who's-got-the-restraining-order perusal of her cart. Alas, something still separates us from the celeb class, since I forgot to wear sunglasses that evening and my girl wasn't dressed like the Dalai Lama.
· Saw Bill Shatner Saturday night at the "Festival of the Spanish Horse" at the LA Equestrian Center. He was sitting in the VIP section, and was watching the Horse show with intense interest. He was one of the judges in the "Champagne Challenge" - these are gaited horses, and they have a very smooth ride.. the rider holds a glass of champagne, and whomever spills the least wins..No one was bothering him, and he seemed to be enjoying himself. He's looking old. Photo attached.
· Went to the Punk Attitude screening last night and saw John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) with Don Letts. I have to say it was the first time I was starstruck . I'm not even really that big of Sex Pistols fan but it was awesome. He hung out with us commoners at the reception after the movie and I even spotted him run over to the Amoeba DJ and ask him what he was playing. He doesn't look bad at all; I thought he would look really crappy in person, but not too shabby. Also spotted was my savior of the morning, Dicky Barrett. I fan-girled (dirty!) him and said I loved his show and then ran away. He is really nice and even tried to strike up conversation. I should have chatted more. I suck.
· The unofficial mayor of West Hollywood, Morrissey, had heads turning and camera phones working on overload while in attendance at last night's Ivy/Robbers on High Street/Astaire show at the Troubadour (05/11/05). He arrived with a small gay entourage, of which, seemed to include a mini-morrissey, complete with mini-pompadour. (birds of a feather much?) He stayed through the 2 opening acts and a few songs of Ivy, clearing the entire VIP balcony for his 4 person group. Apparently he needed all extra room in case any impromptu wrist flinging/typical Morrissey dancing took place. JESUS does he have the biggest head though. Literally, Leno ain't got nothin' on his cranium.
· Late night Thursday 5/6, spotted Paula Abdul in LAX getting on our flight to JFK. They had already boarded first class by the time she arrived with a bodyguard and a young lady I assume was her assistant. They just charged past the line of people waiting to board and went right on. She was wearing a really nice white leather jacket, dark pants and high high heels, talking on her cell phone. She is seriously tiny. I don't know where they hid her because we we boarded and walked through first class I saw her not at all.
· i was at the peninsula monday night having a cocktail with a friend. relatively slow evening, save for the call girl roaming from table to table. to my left i spotted anderson cooper. apparently his show is in la for the week. he was sipping a glass of wine with an unidentified white male wearing a white polo shirt who was enjoying a martini. there was no kissing between the twosome by the time i left, anderson now slouched down on the couch. i might add that i have no idea if he is gay or not, but he does have that 'gay' thing happening. not that there's anything wrong with that...
· Just saw Anderson Cooper at Baja Fresh on Sunset and vine. He is average height and pretty skinny. A table of gay boys were freaking out,
· It was a Carnivale of wang as the elfish Nick Stahl and his bearded man friend put away beer after beer after beer at Big Wangs on Saturday night. I don’t know how they had room for all the booze, unless they didn’t partake in the wang fest. How can you deny the wang?! It is impossible. About an hour later, a very cute Jenna von Oy, a.k.a. Six from Blossom, showed up with an unfortunately dressed lady friend who should really step off the trendy train. Six was dressed in all black, and her friend was dressed in all white, so I fully expect that at some point during the evening they planned to do a rousing rendition of “Ebony & Ivory” once karaoke started. Alas, we were so very full of the big wang we didn’t stick around to find out. Hitting Tom Bergin’s for a drink afterwards, we encountered Kevin “The Lesser” Dillon and his middle-aged entourage holding court at a side table. I wasn’t aware that they let people that old into bars. My gut tells me that Mathew St. Patrick (Keith from Six Feet Under) might have also passed by, but I wasn’t able to get a final confirmation and complete the celebrity-whatever-a-trifecta + 1 is. Quadfecta?
· Saw "Six Feet Under" hottie Jeremy Sisto having a pre-Mother's Day dinner Saturday night at the Hungry Cat, Sunset and Vine, with his mother and either his sister or a very young g.f. They were enjoying beers and calamari salad on the patio...
· saw danny masterson not once, but twice last week. monday 5/2 he was turning on to franklin off vista del mar. he had a passenger in the car but i was unable to make out who it was without getting in an accident. my second sighting was at the coffee bean & tea leaf on sunset and argyle sunday 5/8. he was with a non-celeb friend and looked like he had just come from playing a little b-ball. i must say my sightings of mr. masterson are becoming quite frequent and i am starting to think he is stalking me.
· Saw Fred Durst at Toast on 3rd having lunch today with two similarly tattooed lackeys. The girl I was with commented that he had lost some weight, but he still looked like a total boner. I only got through half my falafel wrap before ³touch my balls and my ass² starting looping in my head, not even the onion rings and Toast¹s freakishly tasty ranch sauce could save my ruined appetite. The internet is great and all, but someone has to draw the line and save us from washed up rap rockers pathetically trying to resurrect their profile.
· Friday night (5/6): Rolled to the W Hotel in Westwood. This was after a pricey dinner at Pearl in WeHo where LaLa Lohan was rumored to be headed. We bailed and tried the W. And by tried, I mean we actually jumped the chain link fence at the end of the property, near the pool, owing to some bullshit guest-list vibe being dished out by the gorilla bouncer at the door. Take note: Jumping fence, crashing through bushes, ending up at the end of the pool area covered in leaves = not worth it. Anyhoo...once inside W, saw Lil' John, with major escort. He was sporting the knee-length day-glo orange t-shirt, jeans and sunglasses since it's hard to be high as shit without them. A few fans jumped around him for digicam shots. He appeared to be "crunked."
· Sat. afternoon at the Grove: Jenny McCarthy strolling down the trolley tracks laughing at some gibberish her short guy-friend (husband???) was spewing at her. She looked old.
· And the Valley C-Level celebrities just keep coming. Just now - Starbucks - Ventura/Coldwater Canyon - Richard Grieco. Tired to snag a camera phone pic, but he eluded me. Damn you, Richard Grieco!
· Saw laura leighton aka sidney from melrose place shopping at target in weho
· Two thoroughly unremarkable D-list sightings last Thursday at Doughboy’s on 3rd Street. First, saw John O’Hurley, a.k.a J. Peterman from “Seinfeld,” dining solo and then leaving a mess of newspapers at the table. He has serious saggy man breasts. Ten minutes later, SNL alum Melanie Hutsell waiting outside for a table before heading elsewhere. That’s right kids, be unemployed for three months and you too can have awesome celebrity sightings such as these!
· I was at the MAC cosmetics counter in Nordstroms at the Costa Mesa mall and I saw what I thought was the socialite 'cat lady' Jocelyn whats-her-name, when I noticed this heavy collagen-lipped 'thing' had gnarled hands with no fingers. The only person I've seen with hands like this was Bree Walker, of KCBS news fame, as I was her waitress once in the 80's. But, all I could see on her face were the huge bright red lips. I passed behind her and I saw a painfully rail-thin,
Auchwitz survivor physique. I had to become a gawker to get to the truth. The lovely Bree of my memory was healthy and cute. But, as I stood next to this test subject of the Michael Jackson School of Plastic Surgery I found that I was appalled to what this person did to her appearance. It couldn't be....This person needed a sandwich and a mirror. I was not sure of her identity until I heard her voice. It was Bree.
· Sitting in Canter's Monday night, my girlfriend screams out "HEY! That's Gulager's Dad!" And sure enough, there's Ol' Clu Gulager, chatting amicably with a waitress. How'd I know it was him? Check the ever-present greasy pompadour and freebie-HP mechanic's jacket. Some might say that's a look more appropriate for some Social Distortion fanboy, but he wears it well. Then just as Clu walks out, in comes reanimated 60s mummy Rodney Bingenheimer, rocking a teased-up Beatle wig and mod suit. While Rodney's looked this way since the beginning of time, frankly he's starting to look a little threadbare. I didn't get to see if Rodney and Clu exchanged hellos, but Clu definitely wins the Battle Of The Old Guys In Young Hipster Garb.
· Actor and Producer Joel Michaely celebrated his birthday with his star friends last night May 2nd at the Vine Street Lounge. The party's guests included, Shane West, Thomas Ian Nicholas, DJ Collette, Mean Girl Amanda Seyfried, Chris Barrett, Comedy Central's Con Man Skyler Stone, and DJ Timbo spinning all night.
· Worst B-list sighting.ever. Saw Zachary Ty Bryan at my Sunday drunk spot, Baja Cantina. He tried repeatedly to talk to my girlfriend who was so drunk she kept forgetting that he had already hit on her and kept re-dissing him. Just a sad sight for poor Brad Taylor.