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Imagine applying for a new job. You've gone through all the channels, you've met with your potential boss, you've said the right things, you've even complimented him on his vomit tie. All you have to do now is go see the HR department. You walk in the door, and there, waiting for you, is ... Jayson Blair! (You'll have to look close. He's very tiny.)

Blair, while emceeing a minority student awards event last weekend, said that he's looking to go into human resources, saying he wants to help others who "find themselves in situations like I was in." (You know: Coked up and full of endless loads of horsepoo.) Blair, who just got an online degree from Jones International University, says he had a touching message for young minority students.

"People tell you all your life to work hard, get good grades and go to a good school because that's how you really get ahead," Blair said. "That's a lie."

Speaking of lies, this is Jayson Blair we're talking about here, so it's important to remember that everything in this story is probably, you know, complete bullshit. He's probably living in the Ozarks somewhere, jacking up on crystal meth and telling the woodland animals that he is the ancient god Zozor.—WL

Jayson Blair Searches For New Legacy [Fairfax News]
Rock And A Hard Place: Jayson Blair [The Black Table]