An incoming sixth-grader named Joey is crying into his Starbucks today after his girlfriend caught him cheating on her by going to the park with another girl. She bluntly ended their relationship via perhaps the greatest series of breakup texts ever composed by an 11-year-old.
“Ding ding ding oh what was that oh yeah the elevator cause your not on my level.”
Boom. Roasted. Dracarys.
This could all be a well-designed fake viral text, but let’s hope it’s not. It’s great to see a young woman who won’t put up with flaky-ass dudes letting her blow her allowance on Starbucks drinks, only to run off to the park with someone else. She gave you two chances, Joey—now it’s time to grow up. Cause your not in elementary school anymore, kiddo. Forreal.