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· Fox News head Roger Ailes is the most likely candidate for "The Son Rupert Murdoch Never Had," and might replace dead-to-him-now offspring Lachlan as chairman of Fox Television Stations Group. They're going to look a little funny running the three-legged race at the News Corp father-son picnic, but Lachlan was always a liability anyway. [Variety]
· Also, Lachlan Murdoch's golden parachute will likely be in the millions of dollars, and his two-year noncompete clause will leave him with little to do but build money-castles on an Australian beach. [THR]
· That harmless little joke that Sony played on the world, where they invented a movie critic to provide glowing pullquotes for their movies, costs them $1.5 million in a settlement with fans. At that piddling price, it was totally worth it! [Variety]
· Paramount snaps up the film rights to writer AJ Jacobs's yet-to-be-published nonfiction book, The Year of Living Biblically, in which the author spends a year trying to abide by all of the Bible's dictates. Wacky, unwatchable spiritual sequel to 40 Days and 40 Nights to follow. Do we have to pitch it? "When Andy is caught cheating on his very religious fiance, he offers to prove his love by obeying every rule in the Bible up until their wedding day." We decline to dreamcast Ashton Kutcher at this time. [THR]
· Hollywood Est Hors des Idées: Warner Brothers will remake the French waiter-and-hilarious-consequences-of-averted-suicide comedy Apres Vous with Billy Crystal as the star. [Variety]