Nicole Richie has become so undernourished lately that round food items such as donuts, hardboiled eggs and apples can often be found rolling off nearby counters and towards the calorie-vacuum that is her body, which she must irritably swat away lest the unwanted sustenance affix itself to her legs. It's become so noticeable lately that people have taken to callously calling her out on her gaunt appearance, such as in this item from British e-newsletter Popbitch:
After an altercation with a photographer, Nicole went to drown her sorrows in the Viper Room, where LA art-pop band The Spores were playing. Sadly for Nicole, the band spotted her diving into a booth and used their trademark on-stage puppets to take the piss out of her inability to afford food, culminating in one of the puppets saying, "I screwed Nicole Ritchie... and wrapped my whole dick around her waist." Nicole stormed out telling doormen that she was going to sue.
The sassy-mouthed puppet's comments managed to reach even lower than those of the insensitive paparazzi, who may say things like, "Nicole, you look disgusting. Gain some fucking weight!" but stop short of claiming the Simple Life star would be dwarfed by their own genitalia. But after a brief, confrontational denial, we think Richie made the right decision to leave the establishment, rather than spend even one more second of her valuable time trying to convince a handpuppet that she truly does suffer from an abnormally high metabolism.