I've kept my mouth shut for the past two weeks, sluggishly phoning in my twelve daily items ever since I first gave notice (the extra not-funny ones? Those were me). But now it's my last day after two years of this ridiculousness, the last time I will wake up at sunrise so that I might get a leg up on Jann Wenner's sly move to bring Rolling Stone to the studly orgy that is Rio. Well, no more of that. Go be gay, Jann. I care not. In fact, I'm happy for you. I'm a happy person right now. I don't even want to stab Ann Curry!
Yeah, that felt good.