Image: YouTube

Donald Trump’s army of supporters are lots of things: violent, racist, musical. Who among them is the most violent? The most racist? Impossible to say. Who among them has written and performed the best musical tribute to the presumptive Republican nominee? I’ll tell you.

Here is every original composition (supercuts don’t count) called “Trump Train” I could find on YouTube, ranked.


Artist: GO TRUMP !!

Best line:

Protect our land from the crazy man
Take the fight to another site
Vote for Trump election day


Artist: Christopher Scott

Best line:

Cause there’s vict’ry in Trump I say
Vict’ry in Trump
Cling to Donald and his business wings
And hop on board that long Trump train.”


Artist:Isee you

Best line:

Debt keeps growing bigger, no one seems to care
Holes in the border, danger everywhere


Artist: Joe Staffieri

Best line:

So if you’re Cruz-in for a bruisin’
And you don’t like Rubio
Just come on board the Trump train
That’s the only way to go


Artist: The TRUMPetts

Best line:

USA is in our creed
Trump for America is what we need


Artist: a Canadian Mister D. Trump supporter

Best line:

Election year in USA the Game of Thrones begun
The donkey fights the elephant both going for the crown


Artist: Cb Hutcherson

Best line:

The libs will be a little tight
It’s okay, they’ll survive
Our country will discover many jobs again
Our borders will not let the illegals in
When Donald Trump takes the reigns of America in 2017


Artist: Wesley Michael Hayes and Outlaw Territory

Best line:

Now Donald’s going to bring jobs back from China
Have Mexico pay for the wall
Will hang a big ‘ol sign says “Keep out all you terrorists”
We’ll let ‘em know Ms. Liberty’s still standing tall


Artist: Kenny & the Klintons

Best line:

They call him an angry American millions want to hire
We can’t wait to see they’re face when he gets to say “You’re fired”


Artist: Hailey Ross

Best line:

Let’s make America great again
Trump train
Get on board
Trump train


Artist: Mike Singer

Best line:

The criminals must not have their way
So stand and fight the Donald way
Family values and true liberty
That’s all he wants for you and me


Artist: theronniebuss

Best line:

Let’s all vote for this man to run this nation
Cause if it’s liberals, I feel sorry—sorry for you


Artist: Bobby Mackey

Best line:

Our country needs a leader
And Trump will unify
He’s gonna close that border
And build that wall so high


Artist: Ronnie Mattox

Best line:

The locomotive’s moving down the track
Come on let’s take America back


Trump Trump Trump
Trump Trump Trump
Trump Trump Trump
Trump Trump Trump


Artist: Joe Staffieri

Best line:

Some people say he’s cocky
But that’s alright with me

Was not a politician as you can plainly see
He won’t put up with bullcrap, and talkin’ all PC
Like Hillary and Bernie
He’s got them on the run


Artist:Luis Garnica

Best line:

Come and join us feel the power
It’s a movement renovation


Artist: Jay Nickell

Best line:

Mitt Romney’s a joke
Lil’ Marco chokes
Ted Cruz? Ha-ha! Don’t get me started
And Democrats? Uh, no.


Artist: Truman Vaughn

Best line:

That Rubio’s a joke
Cruz is a liar
That Mexico wall just got ten feet higher
Let me hear you say Trump, Trump, Trump train
He ain’t no chump, chump, chump change

She can hide Benghazi
But she can’t hide her mail
When Trump becomes president
He’ll throw her in jail


Artist: Freddy C

Best line:

We’re going forward
With the American dream
We have a fighter yes! Donald Trump
That’s his name.


Artist: Nimble Navigator Productions

Best line:

Are you, are you, coming to the train
Wear a hat of hope, side by side with me
Make America Great Again, break the chains


Artist: Freddy C (the remix)

Best line:

This is the beginning

This is not the end

For an especially hellish treat, try playing them all at once.