Yet another life-shattering item we somehow missed early this week! (Can someone explain why this was buried in the bottom of a real estate column?) Anyway! We already knew that Madonna and the Lower East Side have plenty of things in common. Both love leotards. Both love to dance. Both trade on their at-this-point dubious Judaism. But we did not know it was only a matter of time before the pop star and the neighborhood joined forces.

Hipsters weary of the grind and longing for mystical spirituality of the Kabbalah will greet the news that Madonna is planning on transforming this concrete hull of 179 Ludlow Street into a Kabbala Center.

According to the Observer's Mark Wellborn, whoever that is, Madonna "will be touring 179 Ludlow Street on the Lower East Side next week, where she hopes to develop a three-floor kabbalah center. Madonna heard about the space by way of some big-time developer friends in the neighborhood... like Jason Pomeranc." Sure, the Ciccione invasion may cause some neighborhood Jews no small amount of tsuris but, according to Baal Shem Tov, "Everything is by Divine Providence. If a leaf is turned over by a breeze, it is only because this has been specifically ordained by G-d to serve a particular function within the purpose of creation." Another way of saying, everything happens just like a prayer.

She Dreams of Kabbalah Center on the Lower East Side [NYO]