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Clear your calendars, underemployed, musical-loving actors of Los Angeles, for you've been officially notified that the cattle-call that could deliver you the kind of Broadway superstardom you've always dreamed of is at hand. Next Wednesday, thousands upon thousands of singing-ogre hopefuls, their voices colored with the frustration of scores of commercial callbacks that never came, will descend upon Burbank, trying to demonstrate they can belt out rock lyrics through an impenetrable faux-Scottish accent. Please note that the producers have taken special care to invite performers "of all cultural backgrounds" to audition for both leading roles—the words "urban edge," "hip hop," and "R&B" are just fun little lawyer-approved suggestions about what they're looking for in their perfect Donkey.