As the Times' "Cyberfamilias" columnist Michelle Slatalla knows, the new hotness is stalking your own children online. In an article in the latest Atlantic Monthly, chillingly subtitled "Anyone could be tracking your children online—even me," reviled housewifeliness-advisor Caitlin Flanagan is getting in on the action, and, well, seriously biting Michelle's styles. Not to mention revealing, as the kids say, TMI.

Once my interfering children had been packed off to school, I made myself a nice cup of coffee and logged on [to Club Penguin]. I chose a pink penguin, and because no versions of my real name were available, I picked one of my mother's nicknames for me. But—O, hated Internet, and its font of unwanted knowledge—even that turned out to be taken, so I had to be "Tootsabella2."

O, hated Internet indeed.

Babes In The Woods [Atlantic]