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Uwe Boll, Hollywood's go-to director when a studio absolutely, positively needs a video game adapted into a terrible movie that may one day show a profit in the home video market, is among the last of a dying breed of macho filmmakers who are utterly unafraid to fucking fight you if you write a review that displeases them. (Taking out a retaliatory full-page ad in Variety is, as you might guess, the pussified last refuge of the coward.) Upon reading Wired's negative assessment of Postal, Boll's latest contribution to the cinematic canon, he dashed off this love note to Chris Kohler, the piece's author:

chris your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years she deserves it.

people like you are the reason that independent movies have no chance anymore. uwe boll PS: POSTAL is R RATED . The MPAA understood the satire — you not — you dumb fuck

The rest of the amusing exchange between the writer and director (and briefly, a publicist) is here, but nothing that follows really approaches Boll's opening salvo. Kohler should just consider himself lucky that Boll merely invited him to violate his own mother instead of beckoning him into the ring for one of his legendary critic ass-whoopings. The momentary sting of those clever words is almost certainly less painful than a brutal pummeling by Boll's meaty, smirk-erasing fists.