We have this commenter named LolCait and, oh my god. There are no words. We spend a lot of time hoping this dude/lady doesn't ever get a more challenging or time-consuming day job because... wow. These are all from yesterday's Foxy Brown post, obviously.
It began so innocently: "This is like the time Spinderella stabbed me with her Treo."
"Elaine Stritch served for three months as interim prime minister of Laos."
"Stevie Wonder named his daughter Jamminontheone Brielle Wonder."
"The cast of High School Musical humped themselves into another dimension."
"Nine Inch Nails mistakenly used dry wall screws."
"Bill Paxton owns property in the Land of the Lost."
"Donatella Versace once married a fifteen pound pimento loaf in international waters."
"Every Christmas morning, Tim Gunn insists on farting the national anthem."
"Ashanti holds a marginally influential seat in the British House of Commons."
"Secretly, Karen Finley's favorite show is 'Miss Saigon.'"
"Lena Olin is my father."
"During the winter months, Bruce Vilanch hibernates in an enormous deep fryer."
"Charlotte Bronte did a treatment of the Daddy Daycare script."
"Mia Farrow is the last unicorn."
No, LolCait. You are the last unicorn.