The blow-dried, plastic smile-bearing Fox 5 reporter asks Jared Crystal what happened. Jared, the very cultural opposite of the reporter in his ponytail and "Republicans For Voldemort" T-shirt, explains that he was simply sitting in his car, reading 1984—an ordinary night—when a tree limb came crashing down! A scary situation! The reporter grimaces at the disheveled man with the disastrous car. "Reading 1984, and look what it got you!" the reporter says. "Next time read something more easy and calm!" Jared graciously blames Arbor Day, rather than punching the reporter in the face. Click to watch the underlying tension of the media's culture war in action.