Before I started following Kristin on her memoir-writing journey, I knew a few things about her: She starred on the MTV reality TV shows Laguna Beach and The Hills; she briefly appeared on Dancing With the Stars; she married Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler; and she later revealed, on Fox News, that she did not vaccinate her children due to autism fears.
It’s basically an intimate look at my life. It’s going to be a lot of fashion and beauty. Because I’m such a big health nut, it’s also going to be health and fitness. And then a lot of recipes because I love to cook and a lot of mommy and wife stuff. So really just everything in my life...
I know so much everything about Kristin, now.
I know that she is a nominal designer of both shoes and jewelry and that her jewelry line is called Emerald Duv. I know that Duv is pronounced “Duhv,” and that Kristin and her business partner chose the name because “we both have babies born in May and wanted to come up with a name that resembled both of us. We used their birthstone—emerald—and doves come in a pair, or twos.”
I don’t know what Kristin does all day, exactly, but I do know that she frequently posts ads for various products on social media. In the year-plus that I have followed her, she has promoted, among other things, Hoover® cordless vacuums, Wonderful Halos, the NFL’s Pinterest account, and her own business ventures.
Recently, Kristin posted an Instagram ad for Reebok’s new Zprint sneakers.
Shortly thereafter, a PR person emailed me about the ad and offered to send me a pair. And so I walked a short distance in Kristin’s sponsored shoes:
I know that Reebok Zprints are significantly more comfortable than the shoes from Kristin’s line, because I have a pair of those, too. Former Gawker editor Leah Beckmann graciously sent me the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry “Light” sequined peep toe pumps last year:
I know that after one exciting wear, most of the sequins fell off.
I know that she named her three children Camden and Jaxon and Saylor, spelled just like that.
At least one mystery about Kristin remains, and that is, what happened to the Secret Bangs™? Kristin promoted this product—a headband with fake bangs attached—for several weeks last year. She even starred in an informercial about them.
But when I ordered a pair, I received an email notice that Secret Bangs™ were on “backorder,” and then they never arrived. All traces of the Bangs have been removed from Kristin’s accounts, and www.secretbangs.com has been deleted.
If I could ask Kristin one question it would be: Secret Bangs™????????
I have no further questions about Kristin’s eating habits, however. From reading many original articles on her app, I know that there are several foods and food-like products that Kristin will not eat: sour cream, agave, additives, “parabins,” egg whites, and shrimp—unless she knows where the shrimp is coming from.
(I know that Kristin has an app, but I do not know why.)
Perhaps the thing I know the most is that some people do not know Kristin.
The reason is clear.
Maybe next time you’ll see it.