It turns out that squads of Guardian Jews are protecting the biggest celebrities in Hollywood, starting with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Demand for their services has only grown with the transformation of the paparazzi into a much more cutthroat gang that includes illegal immigrants and ex-thugs. Celebrity network TMZ filed a video report on Jewish guards that milks the ethnic angle for all it's worth, as in the brief excerpt after the jump: Hava Negila plays in the background, a spurious connection is made between celebrity bodyguarding and counterterrorism and a Jew pops off semiautomatic handgun shots like he bought the bullets wholesale:

The full video is on TMZ (includes Woody Allen reference!).