Ann Leary, wife of Rescue Me star and Libertarian tobacco-tax oppositionist Denis Leary, has written a novel, entitled Outtakes From a Marriage, in which the author has followed the age-old writer's maxim of writing about what one knows; in this case, what Ann knows is that her husband is entirely too preoccupied with the gravity-defying physical attributes of his BFF and frequent co-star, Elizabeth Hurley:
She's got a movie-star character named Susanna Mercer who's Australian, has a perfect bod and "only dates billionaires."
Joe Ferraro, the fictitious husband in the novel, is the star of TV's "The Squad." He "has a schoolboy crush" on the actress, the author writes.
In the book, Susanna "has no female friends," but invites Joe and his stay-at-home wife, Julia, to her party, telling them the dress is casual. However, the author writes, "Susanna wore a flimsy, and completely sheer, floor-length gown. ... Your eye was naturally drawn to the body underneath ... a body that appeared flawless, and was, except for the small triangle concealed by a pink lacy thong, plainly visible to all. ... Her breasts managed to stay firmly uplifted without the benefit of a bra."
"Susanna has irritated me on occasion over the past several years," admits the wife, clad in jeans and clunky boots.
While Susanna certainly sounds a lot like the glamorous Estée Lauder pitchwoman and international philanthropist of mystery, the publisher—who've spared no expense in finding only the finest scenes of softcore domesticity clip-art for its cover—insist that the book is a work of fiction, and that drawing any similarities between "that trampy Susanna character and Ann's lovely and close personal friend Elizabeth Hurley" would be a gross and unfair misjudgement, adding, "I mean, come on—Susanna is the face of Clinique, and came to prominence when her actor boyfriend starred in the sleeper comedy hit Three Bat Mitvahs and a Baptism. They're totally different people!!"