Oh hi there, Mr. Senator! Presidential maybe-too-hopeful Barack Obama was on vacation this week in Hawaii, looking fitter than he was just a few months ago. Perhaps too fit?? Weight loss, especially during a stressful time, is suspiciously Un-American-it's the French that smoke Gauloises and furiously pace the Champs-Élysées, withering down to cowardly nothings. We enter eating contests at Cracker Barrel and bathe in that weird orange cheese from those snack pack things. This is highly unsettling.

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